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A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! - Culture - Nairaland

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A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by Theblessed(f): 11:46pm On Sep 27, 2009
It's so sick!  Imagine a South African man polygamously married 4 women in a joint ceremony today. The more reason women are disrespected this part of the world.  I wonder how many other African women would opt for this cheap trap of a marriage for the sake of being Mrs Nobody.  For these women, their wedding day supposed to be the happiest day of their lives yet, none seem to be real happy, I wonder!  Please, could someone tell them, this is 21st Century and not 10th Century besides, a husband to 4 women is nobody's husband - my opinion.  What's yours?

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20090927/twl-man-marries-four-women-at-the-same-t-41f21e0.html
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by Seun(m): 12:07am On Sep 28, 2009
So why did the 4 women agree to marry him on the same day? Who's disrespecting who?
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by SeanT21(f): 12:26am On Sep 28, 2009
~~There is already a thread on this~~but Its very much wrong.
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by Theblessed(f): 5:49pm On Sep 29, 2009
Seun:

So why did the 4 women agree to marry him on the same day?  Who's disrespecting who?

[b]Hmmm! If the man marrying 4 women for the price of one is not only disrespecting them and womanhood, I wonder who is? Yes, I accept the fact that the women agreed to marry him but under what condition Under duress! Yeah, POVERTY and HARDSHIP subdued these women thus, contributed to this.  For example, lack of food and health care, being widowed and left with a basket full of children to raise, lack of income, lack of skills, unemployment, abandonment and lack of general support from the state etc and many other examples of harsh realities of life led to this.  Thus, this guy obviously took advantage of it, ok! 

Except you, everyone knows, most women in the 3rd world end up in this kind of marriage because of the above circumstances and more.  Now, tell me if they had choices like you and I have, they'd love to be married in a PACK OF 4 OR 10 OR 90 for the price of one No, they wouldn't and you know it, too. If they had the choice they would have preferred being married to their own respective husbands instead of this PACK - BUY 1 GET 3 FREE or 20 if you like!!!

In taking advantage of their circumstances, this man disrespected them for his own selfish gains.  He doesn't love them he just used them to make a point of how African women could be marginalised by their men (i.e. power) hence the media coverage.  Its also debatable if all the 4 women loves him I doubt!! It can not be and soon, the wind will blow and the chicken nyash would be seen as we get to read about it from the same MEDIA - Do not say I did not warn you hence, WATCH THIS SPACE!!!

And from this I  now know, that our culture is too bad.  A culture that still condone this kind of behaviour, is unfortunate!![/b]

1 Like

Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by otele(m): 6:40pm On Sep 29, 2009
ok let me see . .
one for winter
one for summer
one for spring
one for autumn . . .


the thing set well well grin
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by jamace(m): 6:11pm On Sep 30, 2009
Kai. Na wa o. Do these women know about love and jealousy at all? shocked
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by CrudeOil2(m): 8:45pm On Sep 30, 2009
Who are you to judge the man and his culture.
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by africhika(f): 1:40am On Oct 01, 2009
   quote by theblessed:
« #3 on: Yesterday at 11:49:08 AM »

Yes, I accept the fact that the women agreed to marry him but under what condition Under duress! Yeah, POVERTY and HARDSHIP subdued these women thus, contributed to this.  For example, lack of food and health care, being widowed and left with a basket full of children to raise, lack of income, lack of skills, unemployment, abandonment and lack of general support from the state etc and many other examples of harsh realities of life led to this.  Thus, this guy obviously took advantage of it, ok!



i see what ur saying but, not all women in polygymous marriages are the stereotypical uneducated, desperate ones.
u have no idea who these women are.




  quote by blessed
Except you, everyone knows, most women in the 3rd world end up in this kind of marriage because of the above circumstances and more.     

u are stereotyping and using sweeping generalizations. MOST women in the 3rd world don't even "end up" like this.
u are viewing this with a western mentality. u have to see things they way they are seeing it.

3rd world? that is such an old, derogatory term. again, erase ur western mentality.





quote by theblessed]

In taking advantage of their circumstances, this man disrespected them for his own selfish gains.  He doesn't love them he just used them to make a point of how African women could be marginalised by their men (i.e. power) hence the media coverage.  Its also debatable if all the 4 women loves him I doubt!! It can not be and soon, the wind will blow and the chicken nyash would be seen as we get to read about it from the same MEDIA - Do not say I did not warn you hence, WATCH THIS SPACE!!!

And from this I  now know, that our culture is too bad.  A culture that still condone this kind of behaviour, is unfortunate!!

it's not unfortunate. it's just different. different does not always equal bad. maybe the women are perfectly FINE with this. the western culture is not the RIGHT culture. there is no RIGHT culture.
maybe the guy is very much attracted to each one of them and wanted them all. we don't know so we can't judge.   cool
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by Nobody: 4:40am On Oct 01, 2009
What abuse? Are the women babies? The women have a choice, don't they? They don't even look illiterate, abeg. undecided If the women were underaged girls that's different, these ones are old mamas jare. . . can't be bothered.
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by chic2pimp(m): 4:53am On Oct 01, 2009
Seun:

So why did the 4 women agree to marry him on the same day? Who's disrespecting who?
I tire ooo,Ahn Ahn.

stillwater:

What abuse? Are the women babies? The women have a choice, don't they? They don't even look illiterate, abeg. undecided If the women were underaged girls that's different, these ones are old mamas jare. . . can't be bothered.
Abeg help me tell am ooo. Abi wetin be dis nah? undecided undecided undecided
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by agathamari(f): 6:50pm On Oct 03, 2009
this is nasty
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by Fhemmmy: 2:20am On Oct 04, 2009
I think the whole monogamy is losing ground by day.
The case of a polygamy in a lttle town outside of BC was thrown out of court recently, 2 men, a leader of some kinda kinda sect that has more than one wife, and wife as young as 15, and the case has been thrwn out, i see all these as a threat to the monogamy, and ladies or shd i say women are losing ground by day on trying to make sure that a man is married to just one woman.
But i think the women are to be blamed, cos if there is not woman to marry an already married man, the man will be faithful to his wife, and wont be a husband of more than one woman.
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by ritaNL: 5:04pm On Oct 04, 2009
When will women have the rite to marry 7 men even if its one at a time , i look forward to that day.
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by africhika(f): 8:08pm On Oct 04, 2009
^^ there have been several polyandrous societies in south asia thru out history.


among the mosuo people in china, one woman selects several guys to have sex with. she doesn't have to marry them. in fact, mosuo discourage woman from marrying becuz they believe it will tie her down. mosuo men, though, can only have 1 wife.  grin

some cultures in nepal also have polyandry. but it's a fading tradition  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/4461196.stm

the nair people in kerala state, india- the children belong to the mother. women marry several husbands. men move back to their mother's home after wedding.

in meghalaya, north india, women are polyandrous. they also own the land. lately, men have been protesting for equal rights and are frustrated with having to share a wife.

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Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by mafolayomi(f): 4:44pm On Oct 05, 2009
meaning d man will be wearing 4 rings smiley smiley
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by Fhemmmy: 12:44am On Oct 06, 2009
mafolayomi:

meaning d man will be wearing 4 rings smiley smiley

it means the man has just shorten his lifespan by a quarter of what it wld have been
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by beknown(m): 1:00pm On Oct 10, 2009
If we must erase our western ideology, polygamy is part of Nigerian tradition.

Before the arrival of colonialism and afterwards, polygamy was fine in Nigeria.

The lifestyle in developed countries seem to be dictating that polygamy is no longer a good idea. Nigerians have lived with it for centuries, even now.

I think polygamy is a personal decision in Nigeria, since it does not break any law or traditional values in Nigeria.

The western world can hold on to their own belief, they are welcome to import some polygamy to their shores.
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by Nobody: 9:26pm On Oct 10, 2009
I'm quite sure there are authentic African societies which didnt practice polygamy before the coming of the white man.

They've probably been shouted down by mischievous elements thats all.
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by POSAKOSA1(m): 1:28pm On Oct 16, 2009
which one is better MARRYING four women or PLAYING 10 women, the later is what most MEN in our society do today. Plus, there are not enough men to go around anyways.
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by chiogo(f): 5:21am On Oct 19, 2009
sad.
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by Theblessed(f): 11:39pm On Oct 21, 2009
[b]You see, it's not only being married to so many women at a time - that's simply an easy option. It's also about the implications of such marriage, eh Imagine, the sleeping arrangements? Who should be first and last obviously, not I. And when this guy is busy with Jennifer on Saturday night, what about Alice, Carol and Margaret, what would they do? Wait their turns? Or sneak out to their ex-boyfriends Jumai, Henry and Emma  to get their Engines warmed ready for their husbands, or what? I wonder! Obviously, Jumai, Henry and Emma have other women too and if care is not taking, those women have other men somewhere too and the list goes on. 

The sad implication is, in trying to satisfy their sexual urges with an unavailable husband, these women could end up contracting any kind of disease from outside? These days, we have HiV Aids, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, Chlamydia etc and this can have a devastating impact on the entire family. Has anyone considered the implications or are we being led by emotions or cultural pride? Imagine, being the innocent wife in this marriage and happens to contract/being diagnosed with any of the above diseases obviously, you would be devastated. It's very sad indeed! With time these ladies will understand.[/b]
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by ruffrider(f): 5:12am On Oct 22, 2009
Now, if you look in the bible, you will come read about how God blessed men that had many wives, cattle, servant and etc. It is still past on down from my generations. But our government will not allow this, because of tax purposes, and their will be lots of confusions, anything to keep down the confusion. This will be to risky and complicated in the court of law. I am not against it. I am selfish and I want my man all to myself.
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by ruffrider(f): 5:14am On Oct 22, 2009
Men having more than one lady is in their blood line, past down from many generations
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by POSAKOSA1(m): 1:22pm On Oct 22, 2009
I don't see what the big deal is. These women have a choice, common its the 21st century.
Re: A Culture Full Of Abuses Of Women - One Man Married 4 Women In A Joint Wedding! by Nobody: 2:54pm On May 25, 2011
otele:

ok let me see . .
one for winter
one for summer
one for spring
one for autumn . . .


the thing set well well grin

LMAO! slap yourself!  grin grin

Seun:

So why did the 4 women agree to marry him on the same day? Who's disrespecting who?

@Seun breaking the rules of tradition is not easy for everyone. Easier said that done!!

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