aisha2:

It starts from little things. We train our boys not to take responsibility, the girl is always made over responsible in the house hold. The man grows not to value the female and goes further to blame her for his woes, women in society dont help as they join in blaming women for everything under the sun. A man cheats we find a way to blame his wife, its either she is not giving him sex or she is is scruffy, yet if a woman cheats we crucify her and an never blame the wife, then it graduates, when man makes stupid choices without listening to his wife, we blame her, a man beats his wife we blame her, we say she was nagging, a man steals public funds we balme the wife, it goes on and on

McDoe:

Because behind every achievement of man, there is a woman; therefore every misfortune that befell a man, there is a woman also.

aisha2:

It starts from little things. We train our boys not to take responsibility, the girl is always made over responsible in the house hold. The man grows not to value the female and goes further to blame her for his woes, women in society dont help as they join in blaming women for everything under the sun. A man cheats we find a way to blame his wife, its either she is not giving him sex or she is is scruffy, yet if a woman cheats we crucify her and an never blame the wife, then it graduates, when man makes stupid choices without listening to his wife, we blame her, a man beats his wife we blame her, we say she was nagging, a man steals public funds we balme the wife, it goes on and on

aisha2:

It starts from little things. We train our boys not to take responsibility, the girl is always made over responsible in the house hold. The man grows not to value the female and goes further to blame her for his woes, women in society dont help as they join in blaming women for everything under the sun. A man cheats we find a way to blame his wife, its either she is not giving him sex or she is is scruffy, yet if a woman cheats we crucify her and an never blame the wife, then it graduates, when man makes stupid choices without listening to his wife, we blame her, a man beats his wife we blame her, we say she was nagging, a man steals public funds we balme the wife, it goes on and on

Rosabelle:

When a couples children mess up in life, they are "her children", when they are successful they are the man's children.
For me oh, and I know some of you may disagree, it is the womans fault. Because we cry where we should talk and talk when we should be quiet.
The poster spoke of the woman who took her man back after al the nonsence he had done. As a wife, fine there are somethings you do etc. And one of them is being there for your husband etc. But these days, men of today are no longer being raised as men. And again, unfortunately this is womans fault. Boys are raised to believe they are worth more than their sisters and so on.
Women bring up their male children to be useless. Thats the truth.
We need to take care of our corners and do out bits. You who are mothers today, break the trend and make your boy children more responsible, otherwise you are planting the seed in him that'l tomorrow be another womans headache.

aisha2:

It starts from little things. We train our boys not to take responsibility, the girl is always made over responsible in the house hold. The man grows not to value the female and goes further to blame her for his woes, women in society dont help as they join in blaming women for everything under the sun. A man cheats we find a way to blame his wife, its either she is not giving him sex or she is is scruffy, yet if a woman cheats we crucify her and an never blame the wife, then it graduates, when man makes stupid choices without listening to his wife, we blame her, a man beats his wife we blame her, we say she was nagging, a man  steals public funds we balme the wife, it goes on and on

matrim:

it's called eve's curse.it was eve's greed and disobedience that caused man's downfall in the garden of eden and so it has always been thereafter.after all it is well known that most crimes committed by men are to satisfy their women.

Shinatu:


How many families celebrate the wife when the husband is successful in Nigeria? Is that not the time for the husband to run  after all the sophisticated ladies in town with the inlaws telling the wife to relax and take care of her children.
They are quick to remind you how their brother suffered for the money and why he should be left alone to enjoy the fruit of his labour.

Even if you are a major contributor to the man's success, they fail to accept it and start reminding their son that it is God that lifts up a man, trying to play down any role you might have played.  

aisha2:

a guy i refused to marry because he asked me to resign my job and take a post as a primary school teacher and also gave me a condition to get pregnant before the wedding,because he wanted a wman he could control according to him. i sent him parking. Another was almost always taking money from me, he always had something he needed to do and always had business that was not clicking. At both times i had to sit and tell myself the truth that those men would make lousy husbands.
Like someone says life is about finding happiness, if being married will not make me happy, why bother.
I know its hard being alone sometimes but it harder being with someone and being alone at the same time.

sherry lo:

The culture and tradition. Very bad!

chikito1:

The man only listens to all the rubbish said by his family and allows for his wife to be ridiculed because he is too

ashamed to admit his wrong, shame and failure he managed to bring upon himself and family. I see ego "I am a

man" bullshit talk. However some men can only talk the talk and not walk the walk. Because when push come to

shove they shy away and leave it to their wives to sort out the whole mess.

otukpo:

Societal problem. And the men won't even listen to their wives. Very stubborn creatures.

Shinatu:


How many families celebrate the wife when the husband is successful in Nigeria? Is that not the time for the husband to run  after all the sophisticated ladies in town with the inlaws telling the wife to relax and take care of her children.
They are quick to remind you how their brother suffered for the money and why he should be left alone to enjoy the fruit of his labour.

Even if you are a major contributor to the man's success, they fail to accept it and start reminding their son that it is God that lifts up a man, trying to play down any role you might have played.

Princek12:

While you have stretched your analysis to the point of being a mere conjecture, could you please give one example of a wife who was blamed for her husband's looting of public funds. Concededly, men sometimes blame women for their irresponsible behavior, but women on the other hand exhibit the same pattern of blame game. If any spouse cheats, there is to the possibility for which the other spouse would be blamed so blaming the other spouse for one partner's infidelity is not irrational. Also, you are ranting as though women do not pass the blame on the scarcity of good men when, by using wrong judgment and no wisdom, they pick a wrong husband or boyfriend, causing their relationship to result in single parenthood, failed marriages, abusive relationships, among others. I have yet to meet, at least on God's green earth, a woman who has assumed responsibility for making the wrong choice in picking the wrong spouse, even if that woman in the face of plentiful good men, decides to opt for a loser, either because he was married with kids but got a little change or because of some incomprehensible, irrational reason, which many men found amazing. In short, blame game is a two-way streak.

Rosabelle:

When a couples children mess up in life, they are "her children", when they are successful they are the man's children.
For me oh, and I know some of you may disagree, it is the womans fault. Because we cry where we should talk and talk when we should be quiet.
The poster spoke of the woman who took her man back after al the nonsence he had done. As a wife, fine there are somethings you do etc. And one of them is being there for your husband etc. But these days, men of today are no longer being raised as men. And again, unfortunately this is womans fault. Boys are raised to believe they are worth more than their sisters and so on.
Women bring up their male children to be useless. Thats the truth.
We need to take care of our corners and do out bits. You who are mothers today, break the trend and make your boy children more responsible, otherwise you are planting the seed in him that'l tomorrow be another womans headache.

stillwater:

Haven't you heard continuously how a man changes after putting a ring on your finger? They do heaven and earth while dating, after marriage. . . well. Nigerian women would have to deal with relatives.  I've seen this times without number and I know you're trying to say not all men are like that and I believe that but these things happen daily. I just think Nigerian husbands need to set their foot down while thinking rationally, whoever is in the wrong whether relatives or wife should be put in their place.


For those saying she's praised if the man's successful, are you aware the extended family do come up with tales that the woman has finally turned their brother from the rest of the family if he doesn't give them money or do as they wish him to do. Either way in a Nigerian setting there's a possibility the wife gets blamed whether the husband is successful or not.

Rosabelle:

LOL. Youre crackign me up I swear. My dear, I thought I was the only one oh. After this experience which I related to my mum later on (I dindt tell her I was giving him money when we were dating), she yelled at me oh. Telling me that whatever happens, I must never give a man money because initially you feel youre helping your man, but men dont know how to appreciate women who give. You must demand he be a man, otherwise he will use you to wipe the floor. Until today, the monkey never paid me back oh lol. Kai, the thigns we do in the name of love. Chei. LOL

Im happy a few people women are begining to think of this marriage thing like I am. I thank God for the kind of family I have. They are my friends and my father will rather see his daughters with Phd's than useless husbands, because he always said as long as you can feed yourself and you have real friends, life is good and you will be happy. Which is why he sent us to school, so we can eventually feed ourselves and not depend on men to do it.
And at the end of the day, isnt the pursuit of happiness the highest a human being can aim for?

Princek12:

You are right that people do change after they get married, which is very unfortunate for the suffering spouse; but there are lots of times when you know that your spouse is a jerk but go ahead and marry him out of desperation. Even in that situation that woman may still blame the man. My whole point is that it happens on both sides and I am not disputing that women in Nigeria are blamed for what is, clearly, a man's problems. Men are also blamed for things that are not their fault.

stillwater:

Haven't you heard continuously how a man changes after putting a ring on your finger? They do heaven and earth while dating, after marriage. . .

Princek12:

You are right that people do change after they get married, which is very unfortunate for the suffering spouse; but there are lots of times when you know that your spouse is a jerk but go ahead and marry him out of desperation.