It is true that our world is bedeviled by so many challenges, both potential and actual, that often put us in a state of insomnia. This is usually a function of man's relentless quest to assert himself in existence as well as make it akin to paradise. Nothing about that is outrageous but in a lot of occasions, this desire and energy thereof is being channeled wrongly. Needless to mention the exponential death machines, defrauding mechanisms, computerized intrusion to people's privacy, and suprisingly, the audacious denigration of human dignity. Unfortunately, most women have been on the receiving end of the degradation of man's intrinsic worth. Among the numerous means through which this is perpetrated, that of the marriage institution is the most heartbreaking considering that it ought to be a place of love.

Seeing a play, few days back, of a revered Christian brother perceived as the perfect package in Church while he habitually beats up his acclaimed lucky wife at home for even the most trivial reasons, left me unsettled and indignant. Although that was staged, such still happens today. Stories of this sort frequent media headlines. Significantly, it fully brought to my consciousness the seriousness of domestic violence and its demerits. The litany of incidents of women being subjected to inhumane, inconsiderate, inconvenient, and inapt conditions by their male partners/husbands is a cause for concern. Who really is to blame? When partners in such tumultous marriages are counselled, they do not hesitate to point fingers at each other.

Could this repulsive reality be unconnected with mis-prioritizing when choosing one's other half? I believe, in most cases, such female victims are the indirect cause and architects of their woes because they opted for the secondary factors instead of the primary ones. Perhaps, they chose him due to his cuteness, handsomeness, complexion, eloquence, height, financial prowess, influential family background, etcetera. These are good but they do not essentially define a man. Who a man is transcends the aforementioned. It borders on his purposefulness, visionary disposition, wholesome values, and ultimately, his very cordial relationship with His Maker. Neglecting these to a great extent heralds disaster for the woman. A man handpicked by God to complete a woman is very unlikely to treat her with levity. I stand to be corrected.

More so, other direct causes like anger, dissatisfaction, infidelity, infertility, insubordination, and what have you, fan the flames of this conjugal eyesore. Nevertheless, no wife deserves to be handled like gabbage, disparaged, enslaved, transformed into a punching bag, where the husband tries to replicate Muhammad Ali's boxing tactics of "Jump like a butterfly, sting like a bee" on her. The woman person should not be stung nor abused in the heat of disagreement. The United Nations through the General Assembly in 2004 decried the upsurge in domestic violence and thereby advised member countries to legislate laws that would checkmate it. In resolution 58/147, entitled "Elimination of domestic violence against women," it recognised "That domestic violence is one of the most common and least visible forms of violence against women and that its consequences affect many areas of the lives of victims; That domestic violence can take many different forms, including physical, psychological and sexual violence; That domestic violence is of public concern and requires States to take serious action to protect victims and prevent domestic violence..."

Thus, this is a clarion call to relevant security agencies and legal practitioners in the country to stir the hornet's nest of those men or persons, as the case may be, that delight in dehumanizing women in order to prove a point. Point of correction, I'm no feminist rather I'm an advocate of propriety. Dear husbands, your found rib is not a thing but a person. She also deserves respect and dignity, too. That you're her husband affords you no divine nor constitutional right to pour hot water on her, ascertain the sharpness of your knife/cutlass on her, play slapping games with her cheeks, set her ablaze, or bathe her with hurtful and acidic words. As the Almighty had intended ab initio, love, not hate, should reign supreme in the marital environment--your home.

Kaycee Naze
(Rational Pen)

Lalasticlala, front page material. Please do the needful.

Fynestboi, lalasticlala.

This is the most remarkable write-up I've read all year from this section.

cc: lalasticlala, mynd44

Kayceenaz:

these female victims are the indirect cause and architects of their woes because they opted for the secondary factors instead of the primary ones. Perhaps, they chose him due to his cuteness, handsomeness, complexion, eloquence, height, financial prowess, influential family background, etcetera. These are good but they do not essentially define a man. Who a man is transcends the aforementioned

This couldn't be more true. Unfortunately, attempts to coax women into choosing their life partners based on qualities that transcend the superficial is almost like preaching to the proverbial choir.

Females are easily wheedled by what appeals to their visual. A lady would most likely chuck out her long-time broke Bf and opt for a Ramsey-Noah-looking fellow with fleets of flashy sport cars even though they aren't really into him nor him into them.

Yet they wonder why their marriages to these Lotharios turn out to be a classic Jerry-Maguire-without-the-happy-ending.

More so, other direct causes like anger, dissatisfaction, infidelity, infertility, insubordination, and what have you, fan the flames of this conjugal eyesore. Nevertheless, no wife deserves to be handled like gabbage, disparaged, enslaved, transformed into a punching bag, where the husband tries to replicate Muhammad Ali's boxing tactics of "Jump like a butterfly, sting like a bee" on her.

I'm no feminist rather I'm an advocate of propriety

I'm not too keen on brands and labels myself. I'm curious, though -- is your not being feminist because you don't believe in equality of the sexes, or because you prefer to maintain a long-distance relationship with the baggages which people have [ignorantly] attached to the term?

DarkRebel101:


This couldn't be more true. Unfortunately, attempts to coax women into choosing their life partners based on qualities that transcend the superficial is almost like preaching to the proverbial choir.

Females are easily wheedled by what appeals to their visual. A lady would most likely chuck out her long-time broke Bf and opt for a Ramsey-Noah-looking fellow with fleets of flashy sport cars even though they aren't really into him nor him into them.

Yet they wonder why their marriages to these Lotharios turn out to be a classic Jerry-Maguire-without-the-happy-ending.







I'm not too keen on brands and labels either. I'm curious, though -- is your not being feminist because you don't believe in equality of the sexes, or because you prefer to maintain a long-distance relationship with the baggages which people have [ignorantly] attached to the term?

And men choose their future wives by their inner values, aight? Yeah, right.

Mindfulness:

And men choose their future wives by their inner values, aight? Yeah, right.

Yes! We also keep an eye out for a woman's culinary skills and how much sexual kungfu she knows. *tongue-in-cheek*

DarkRebel101:


Yes! We also keep an eye out for a woman's culinary skills and how much sexual kungfu she knows. *tongue-in-cheek*

And that hasn't made us beat una .
So, what went wrong with our own choices?

DarkRebel101:


Yes! We also keep an eye out for a woman's culinary skills and how much sexual kungfu she knows. *tongue-in-cheek*

We do not have much control over who we feel attracted to and who not. It's the biological imperative. The chemistry is there or it is not.

Mindfulness:




We do not have much control over who we feel attracted to and who not.

Sure, but why are you guys always attracted to men with deep pockets? You can't control it my foot.

It's the biological imperative. The chemistry is there or it is not.

Yeah, right -- the chemistry of money.

PaperLace:

And that hasn't made us beat una .
So, what went wrong with our own choices?

Men are more likely than women to look beyond physical interestingness and wealth when selecting their life partners. True or false?

DarkRebel101:


Sure, but why are you guys always attracted to men with deep pockets? You can't control it my foot.


Yeah, right -- the chemistry of money.

It isn't attraction, it's called opportunism.

DarkRebel101:


Men are more likely than women to look beyond physical interestingness and wealth when selecting their life partners. True or false?

More likely to look beyond wealth? Definitely.

More likely to look beyond physical interestingness? You must be joking.

When people attach domestic violence to a woman choosing to marry a rich man for whatever reasons known to her, I begin to wonder if poor men ain't abusive too. She must have it coming for marrying someone rich, like being abusive has anything to do with the money, or handsomeness or whatever.
People on both sides of the spectrum can be abusive.
She can as well choose to toil with a poor man who would still abuse her. Read a novel of recent, with one of the main characters as a victim of abuse, she never knew he was like that, all sweet and caring, till the relationship got more serious, and he slowly starts trying to control her, made sure she doesn't get a job even though she wanted to, just so she would be totally dependent on him, then the beating began. After each episode he is back to being sweet, caring and begging for forgiveness, promising not to do it again. And the cycle continues, black eye, broken bones, hospital admissions, getting him arrested and he'll emotionally manipulate her till she starts thinking she is the one at fault, she would never press charges.
Well, she eventually killed him though in self defense.

Some people are just psychotic. Yes, some women overlook the red flags cos of greed but some probably never noticed till they got in most especially in cases of short courtship or they feel they are in love or can change him, etc.

Mindfulness:


More likely to look beyond wealth? Definitely.

More likely to look beyond physical interestingness? You must be joking.

Seriously

Mindfulness:

More likely to look beyond wealth? Definitely.

At least we both agree the money aspect is a no-brainer.

More likely to look beyond physical interestingness? You must be joking.

Really? I don't think so. It's you ladies that obsess over 6 packs, red lips, hefty muscles, big d***k, cute and pimple-free face, sexy beards...

Women are more concerned with physical attributes, even though it's just a smidge more than men's obsession. Just admit it already.

Mindfulness:


It isn't attraction, it's called opportunism.

Are you trying to imply that most females go into marriages for opportunistic reasons?

DarkRebel101:


At least we both agree the money aspect is a no-brainer.



Really? I don't think so. It's you ladies that obsess over 6 packs, red lips, hefty muscles, big d***k, cute and pimple-free face, sexy beards...

Women are more concerned with physical attributes, even though it's just a smidge more than men's obsession. Just admit it already.

Who spends more money on clothes and cosmetics? Men or women? Why?

Are you admitting most females go into marriages for opportunistic reasons?

Everyone does, everyone wants to get something out of it.

DarkRebel101:


At least we both agree the money aspect is a no-brainer.



Really? I don't think so. It's you ladies that obsess over 6 packs, red lips, hefty muscles, big d***k, cute and pimple-free face, sexy beards...

Women are more concerned with physical attributes, even though it's just a smidge more than men's obsession. Just admit it already.



Are you trying to imply that most females go into marriages for opportunistic reasons?

Yes, ladies might gush about 6 packs, bla bla rubbish but they are more likely to overlook that than a man obsessed with big bo.obs and ass would. Men would even insult ladies they think isn't attractive enough for them


And what's with all the talk about women going for riches. Who are marrying the poor and struggling guys? Ghosts?
Yes, women love money, tell me who doesn't.

HaneefahRN, all OP said was that some women bring rue upon themselves by not getting married to their significant other based on compatibility and qualities that go beyond handsomeness and how rich he is.

He never said poor men don't beat their wives.

HaneefahRN:



Yes, ladies might gush about 6 packs, bla bla rubbish but they are more likely to overlook that than a man obsessed with big bo.obs and ass would. Men would even insult ladies they think isn't attractive enough for them


And what's with all the talk about women going for riches. Who are marrying the poor and struggling guys? Ghosts?
Yes, women love money, tell me who doesn't.

But I cannot overlook ugliness.

Mindfulness:

But I cannot overlook ugliness.

Lolz.
Yh, but you got my point.

DarkRebel101:
HaneefahRN, all OP said was that some women bring rue upon themselves by not getting married to their significant other based on compatibility and qualities that go beyond handsomeness and how rich he is.

He never said poor men don't beat their wives.

I know

Just making a point. All the talk about women going for money, riches made it seem so.

HaneefahRN:


Lolz.

Yh, but you got my point.

Am with you.

HaneefahRN:



I know

Just making a point. All the talk about women going for money, riches made it seem so.

In fact, many women ended up and stayed in abusive relationships in the name of loff, not money.

HaneefahRN:

Yes, ladies might gush about 6 packs, bla bla rubbish but they are more likely to overlook that than a man obsessed with big bo.obs and ass would. Men would even insult ladies they think isn't attractive enough for them

And what's with all the talk about women going for riches. Who are marrying the poor and struggling guys? Ghosts?
Yes, women love money, tell me who doesn't.

To paraphrase Mindfulness, men's attraction to bôôbs and äss is a biological imperative. It's the cross Nature has burdened us with. And trying to separate us from it is like attempting to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse.

[...]

Many women that marry poor men usually had no choice, or perhaps they had, in their naïve and callow youth, viewed the world through rosy and idealist lenses, only to regret their decision of getting into wedlock with a financially handicapped man midway into their marriage.

If we conduct a survey, don't be surprised if many of these women wished the circumstances were different and that they were married to a richer man. It's Darwinian, Haneefah -- women are genetically predisposed to craving a strong, all-providing alpha-male capable of shielding them from unsavoury elements. Financial security is just one of those things.

Kayceenaz:

Could this repulsive reality be unconnected with mis-prioritizing when choosing one's other half? I believe, in most cases, such female victims are the indirect cause and architects of their woes because they opted for the secondary factors instead of the primary ones. Perhaps, they chose him due to his cuteness, handsomeness, complexion, eloquence, height, financial prowess, influential family background, etcetera. These are good but they do not essentially define a man. Who a man is transcends the aforementioned. It borders on his purposefulness, visionary disposition, wholesome values, and ultimately, his very cordial relationship with His Maker. Neglecting these to a great extent heralds disaster for the woman. A man handpicked by God to complete a woman is very unlikely to treat her with levity. I stand to be corrected.
More so, other direct causes like anger, dissatisfaction, infidelity, infertility, insubordination, and what have you, fan the flames of this conjugal eyesore.

Lmao no words

DarkRebel101:


Sure, but why are you guys always attracted to men with deep pockets? You can't control it my foot.



Yeah, right -- the chemistry of money.

Well because they're desirable traits? And desirable traits strongly influence romantic attraction, that's life lol. I think that if everybody actually had the choice, most would choose the most successful in any area as a partner, it just so happens that women place a high value on earning potential, wealth etc but just as much as men place high value on beauty.

DarkRebel101:

Men are more likely than women to look beyond physical interestingness and wealth when selecting their life partners. True or false?

Lmao how was this conclusion drawn?

Mindfulness:


But I cannot overlook ugliness.

Not even if he's an intellectual Titan, has a fat bank account, and owns a heart irrigated with the milk of human kindness?

Mindfulness:


In fact, many women ended up and stayed in abusive relationships in the name of loff, not money.

Sure.
The 'I love him, he'll change ,etc mantra

DarkRebel101:


To paraphrase Mindfulness, men's attraction to bôôbs and äss is a biological imperative. It's the cross Nature has burdened us with. And trying to separate us from it like attempting to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse.

[...]

In the same way, we are attracted to some certain physical attributes, which I will not mention now else some people's ego might get bruised and we all know how the men here tick.

Many women that marry poor men usually had no choice, or perhaps they had, in their naïve and callow youth, viewed the world through rosy and idealist lenses, only to regret their decisions of wedding a financially handicapped man midway into their marriage.


If we conduct a survey, don't be surprised if many of these women wished the circumstances were different and that they were married to a richer man. It's Darwinian, Haneefah -- women are genetically predisposed to craving a strong, all-providing alpha-male capable of protecting them from unsavoury elements. Financial security is just one of those things.

First of all, these women, instead of wishing for a richer man, should figure out how to get the paper. Problem solved. Simple.
Secondly, I have recently read an article that confirmed my observation that many women lose interest in their partners in monogamous relationships.

Biologically we were never meant to do till death do us part relationships.

HaneefahRN:


Sure.
The 'I love him, he'll change ,etc mantra

Exactly.

DarkRebel101:


To paraphrase Mindfulness, men's attraction to bôôbs and äss is a biological imperative. It's the cross Nature has burdened us with. And trying to separate us from it like attempting to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse.

[...]

Many women that marry poor men usually had no choice, or perhaps they had, in their naïve and callow youth, viewed the world through rosy and idealist lenses, only to regret their decisions of wedding a financially handicapped man midway into their marriage.

If we conduct a survey, don't be surprised if many of these women wished the circumstances were different and that they were married to a richer man. It's Darwinian, Haneefah -- women are genetically predisposed to craving a strong, all-providing alpha-male capable of protecting them from unsavoury elements. Financial security is just one of those things.

At least you agree men are as well superficial even moreso.


No choice? They marry them cos they want to and feel in love or they see qualities in him they really appreciate. Many women marry not- so rich men every other weekend even when they have richer men seeking their hands.
Yes, that is true. Of course a normal human will crave financial security, doesn't mean some don't make decisions not in line with that for whatever reason.

Matter of fact, the poorer the more likely to be grossly violated. Check the news, you never see a rich man burning his wife with hot iron or all the nastiness being reported. There has to be a strong relationship of domestic abuse with poverty.
Are all poor men wife beaters? No. Although, I could make a strong case going by media reports. Are rich men any better? Maybe not.
Another thing, I think it is very insensitive for anyone to blame the victim of domestic abuse for their choice of a partner.
Man know thyself and thy woman. Woman know thy man.

HaneefahRN:
When people attach domestic violence to a woman choosing to marry a rich man for whatever reasons known to her, I begin to wonder if poor men ain't abusive too. She must have it coming for marrying someone rich, like being abusive has anything to do with the money, or handsomeness or whatever.
People on both sides of the spectrum can be abusive.
She can as well choose to toil with a poor man who would still abuse her. Read a novel of recent, with one of the main characters as a victim of abuse, she never knew he was like that, all sweet and caring, till the relationship got more serious, and he slowly starts trying to control her, made sure she doesn't get a job even though she wanted to, just so she would be totally dependent on him, then the beating began. After each episode he is back to being sweet, caring and begging for forgiveness, promising not to do it again. And the cycle continues, black eye, broken bones, hospital admissions, getting him arrested and he'll emotionally manipulate her till she starts thinking she is the one at fault, she would never press charges.
Well, she eventually killed him though in self defense.

Some people are just psychotic. Yes, some women overlook the red flags cos of greed but some probably never noticed till they got in most especially in cases of short courtship or they feel they are in love or can change him, etc.