I don't understand .
Please I need everyone's opinion, I'm engaged to someone I really love, and I believe love me too. The issue here is that he is very manipulative, I really emphasize on the very here, and in this relationship of ours "No" is not allowed in any way, if in any situation I say no that means I'm disobedient and I won't be submissive when we finally get married,please house I really need your opinion on this because I don't want to trust my personal judgement on this situation,even if it is so visible that I'm not in anyway in support of anything I'm being asked to do I must not say No, because he believes a lady must be submissive and must not say No to anything her man asks for. He recently gave a definition of marriage which says a marriage is an institution where ladies are been made a stepping stone.
Please house your opinion will go a long way, am I taking it overboard or is this how it is meant to be?

The hand writing on the wall is very clear and needs no interpreter.

SUPERPACK:
The hand writing on the wall is very clear and needs no interpreter.

Thanks for airing your opinion

do you want to be treated like trash?
do you want to live a life where you have no say and be treated like a scene in yoruba movies of a king and slave?
do you want a man that fights with you when you try correcting him and maybe a little fight ensues and he turns the whole world against you?



if your answer to all these questions are “no”.... run as fast as your legs can carry you
forget love....you wont feel it again when you are married for a while..

He is the landlord, u ar his tenant. He dictates every activity to be carried out in his house without any objection from u.





You wouldn't love to marry a dictator, would u Ur call dear!!!

baddestchic:
do you want to be treated like trash?
do you want to live a life where you have no say and be treated like a scene in yoruba movies of a king and slave?
do you want a man that fights with you when you try correcting him and maybe a little fight ensues and he turns the whole world against you?



if your answer to all these questions are “no”.... run as fast as your legs can carry you
forget love....you wont feel it again when you are married for a while..

Thanks so much I appreciate

Questions25:
I don't understand .
Please I need everyone's opinion, I'm engaged to someone I really love, and I believe love me too. The issue here is that he is very manipulative, I really emphasize on the very here, and in this relationship of ours "No" is not allowed in any way, if in any situation I say no that means I'm disobedient and I won't be submissive when we finally get married,please house I really need your opinion on this because I don't want to trust my personal judgement on this situation,even if it is so visible that I'm not in anyway in support of anything I'm being asked to do I must not say No, because he believes a lady must be submissive and must not say No to anything her man asks for. He recently gave a definition of marriage which says a marriage is an institution where ladies are been made a stepping stone.
Please house your opinion will go a long way, am I taking it overboard or is this how it is meant to be?

Welcome to the course "introduction to marriage principle 100. 1"

As time goes by, you'll always make your own decisions like food, children, upkeep of the house and a whole lot of personal decisions his input won't be needed. Some you'll even consult him and he'll show disinterest which will get you angry and some he'll equally consult you which you'll show disinterest. But whenever there's conflict of interest, please let his decision override yours. He's the captain that steer the ship.

If he makes mistake with his opinion, he'll put yours to use.

I can't believe you need to put this out to make a decision. Careful girl...don't dig your grave.

Would you like to give one or two example of the things you tagged manipulative....

If i were u, i will make a % of what i can tolerate..
Make a scale of preferences eg

<<<Manipulative No
<<<Dirty habit YEs
<<<Lies Yes
<<< Cheating No
<<<Bending my roles to accomodate him Yes
<<< Beating/ shouting at me Yes
<<< Tolerating the sister inlaw excesses Yes

then u calculate the %. when it is more, u tell him he was crossing his limits

Richy4:
Would you like to give one or two example of the things you tagged manipulative....

If i were u, i will make a % of what i can tolerate..
Make a scale of preferences eg

<<<Manipulative No
<<<Dirty habit YEs
<<<Lies Yes
<<< Cheating No
<<<Bending my roles to accomodate him Yes
<<< Beating/ shouting at me Yes
<<< Tolerating the sister inlaw excesses Yes

then u calculate the %. when it is more, u tell him he was crossing his limits

An example is I shouldn't sleep early and being tired isn't an option,even when having a little misunderstanding no matter how I try to let him see from my point of view he will never accept it and he starts saying, I'm disobedient and not respectful, he just want things done his own way all the time,thanks for your advice I will do that

Questions25:
I don't understand .
Please I need everyone's opinion, I'm engaged to someone I really love, and I believe love me too. The issue here is that he is very manipulative, I really emphasize on the very here, and in this relationship of ours "No" is not allowed in any way, if in any situation I say no that means I'm disobedient and I won't be submissive when we finally get married,please house I really need your opinion on this because I don't want to trust my personal judgement on this situation,even if it is so visible that I'm not in anyway in support of anything I'm being asked to do I must not say No, because he believes a lady must be submissive and must not say No to anything her man asks for. He recently gave a definition of marriage which says a marriage is an institution where ladies are been made a stepping stone.
Please house your opinion will go a long way, am I taking it overboard or is this how it is meant to be?

I will tell you what I would tell my sister. If you don't trust your judgement, you are not ready for marriage. My two cents.

Just know that he won't change just because you want him to. So either you obey or reconsider marrying him. Your life, your choice.

Questions25:
I don't understand .
Please I need everyone's opinion, I'm engaged to someone I really love, and I believe love me too. The issue here is that he is very manipulative, I really emphasize on the very here, and in this relationship of ours "No" is not allowed in any way, if in any situation I say no that means I'm disobedient and I won't be submissive when we finally get married,please house I really need your opinion on this because I don't want to trust my personal judgement on this situation,even if it is so visible that I'm not in anyway in support of anything I'm being asked to do I must not say No, because he believes a lady must be submissive and must not say No to anything her man asks for. He recently gave a definition of marriage which says a marriage is an institution where ladies are been made a stepping stone.
Please house your opinion will go a long way, am I taking it overboard or is this how it is meant to be?

I saw this somewhere & think it can be applied here: Follow Your Heart But Take Your Brain With You That guy go ruin ur career,ur destiny,eat ur soul & use whats left of the little fire to smoke Benson & Hedges....He is a dictator btw how did u manage to unluckily "fall in love" with this guy? Well just a brotherly advice sha,be very careful ooo

Questions25:
I don't understand .
Please I need everyone's opinion, I'm engaged to someone I really love, and I believe love me too. The issue here is that he is very manipulative, I really emphasize on the very here, and in this relationship of ours "No" is not allowed in any way, if in any situation I say no that means I'm disobedient and I won't be submissive when we finally get married,please house I really need your opinion on this because I don't want to trust my personal judgement on this situation,even if it is so visible that I'm not in anyway in support of anything I'm being asked to do I must not say No, because he believes a lady must be submissive and must not say No to anything her man asks for. He recently gave a definition of marriage which says a marriage is an institution where ladies are been made a stepping stone.
Please house your opinion will go a long way, am I taking it overboard or is this how it is meant to be?

You haven't got a mind of your own. Marry him.

Your opinion is worthless. Marry him.

You have no personality. Marry him.

You have no dreams or aspirations. Marry him.

You're a weak excuse for a woman. Marry him.

You're a pushover. Marry him.

You have no self respect. Marry him.

You're totally dependent on him financially, morally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Marry him.

Hope this helps.

Questions25:

An example is I shouldn't sleep early and being tired isn't an option,even when having a little misunderstanding no matter how I try to let him see from my point of view he will never accept it and he starts saying, I'm disobedient and not respectful, he just want things done his own way all the time,thanks for your advice I will do that

I did not see it as manipulative... I see it as emotional Abuse...
l won't really advise that u marry someone that was not meant for u... There are women that can handle your kind of man very well, those type might silently make him go crazy at home by their words and actions...

It is clear u will be totally miserable in that relationship.... but hey it's just my opinion.. u have 100% right to do what u want and what makes u happy... but i don't see this guy making u feel 70% happy. i might be wrong though...

Questions25:
I don't understand .
Please I need everyone's opinion, I'm engaged to someone I really love, and I believe love me too. The issue here is that he is very manipulative, I really emphasize on the very here, and in this relationship of ours "No" is not allowed in any way, if in any situation I say no that means I'm disobedient and I won't be submissive when we finally get married,please house I really need your opinion on this because I don't want to trust my personal judgement on this situation,even if it is so visible that I'm not in anyway in support of anything I'm being asked to do I must not say No, because he believes a lady must be submissive and must not say No to anything her man asks for. He recently gave a definition of marriage which says a marriage is an institution where ladies are been made a stepping stone.
Please house your opinion will go a long way, am I taking it overboard or is this how it is meant to be?

What does he mean by that? That is a very loaded statement and if he is saying what I think he is saying, then he is totally on the wrong track, but for the benefit of doubt, ask him what he meant.

Yes you are meant to submit, but it doesn't end there and unless he has torn some places out of his Bible then he is on the wrong lane to the wrong destination.
What is his background like?
Is he flexible in any way?
How do you say your No?
When you do say NO to things what does he do?
What happens when he is angry?

In a nutshell, think it through very well. Marriage is not a 2 week holiday but a lifetime affair and once you are in, its not easy to get out, so be very careful and think very hard at what you are getting yourself into.

Many of us are work in progress even up until now, so there is no perfect man out there, however in these imperfections, you should choose something that you can comfortably live with.

Also note that marriage does amplify imperfections. So if its on a scale of 6 now, it will escalate to 9 after marriage.

You know him, you know yourself & you know what you want

All the best.