BABA M’EKU: THE NEW TENANT
(A Short Play)
© 2016 Abraham Adekunle

At the backyard of a face-me-I-slap-you house, a man in ragged clothing and hair sits on an orange tree unnoticed. He plucks an orange and begins to peel it with a rusted metal pellet.
Mama Ogene enters the backyard through the hallway. She is on a polo top, a wrapper, and a pair of white slippers. She has a potty containing the night’s urine on one hand and a polythene bag on the other. She goes straight to the standalone building close to the orange tree, which is used as a restroom. She drops the polythene, opens the door, and begins to empty the urine away.
Mama Bisi emerges from the hallway in a not-so-hurried movement. She wears a buba, ties a wrapper, and has a small black nylon on one hand.

MAMA BISI. [Approaches Mama Ogene and clears throat.]
MAMA OGENE. [Startled. Pops her frame outside.] Ah!
MAMA BISI. Sorry say I disturb you, madam.
MAMA OGENE. Oh, it’s nothing.
MAMA BISI. [Flashes her a smile.] Good morning.
MAMA OGENE. Good morning.
MAMA BISI. Uh… I hear say you just park come yesterday. I been so tayad yesterday, I for don’ come greet you.
MAMA OGENE. [Finishes her stuff and packs the potty.] So nice of you, but you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be fine. Thank you.
MAMA BISI. No dey talk that way, Mama Igbo…
MAMA OGENE. [Cuts in.] Hey! Don’t call me that rubbish.
[The man on the orange tree smiles.]
MAMA BISI. No vex. I no kuku know your name.
MAMA OGENE. No need to know my name. Call me Mama Ogene.
MAMA BISI. [Surprised.] So, you get shildren? Them tell me say you no get, but I come tell them say you get, say I never see them. [Mama Ogene stands still, gazing at her.] I be Mama Bisi. You see, Bisi na ‘im be my first born before I come born Bayo. [Grins.] People just dey ask me say, “Them be twins?” Their name start from B, them dey the same class, in fact, them like to dey wear the same cloth. [Grins again.]
MAMA OGENE. [Boiling with anger.] And so fuc…? [Something rushes past her leg. She drops the potty and screams.] Ewo!!! Blood of Jesus!
MAMA BISI. [Bursts into laughter.] ‘E go soon master you.
MAMA OGENE. [Panting.] What is that?
MAMA BISI. Na rat now. Them plenty for here.
MAMA OGENE. Big as that? [To herself.] I never thought there would be rats around here. So big and disgusting. [Spits.]
MAMA BISI. Before nko? In fa’t, na one of the things wey make me purshue you for this early mormor be that.
MAMA OGENE. You come to greet me at barely seven o’clock because of rat?
MAMA BISI. [Hisses.] Dey there dey blow grammar. Rat matter small. The koko na ‘im I wan’ tell you, because I know say all these wicked people no go wan’ tell you, sake of say you just come. Them go want make you enjoy am small.
MAMA OGENE. What is the “koko” you want to tell me?
MAMA BISI. [Gestures for her to come. Mama Ogene picks up her potty and polythene, and goes in the direction of the trashcan.] See, ‘e get one mad man wey dey hang for this place well well.
MAMA OGENE. Mad man?
MAMA BISI. Yes! Mad man. Him madness no get boundary. Na M’eku them dey call am. Baba M’eku.
MAMA OGENE. Baba’n M’eku. What does it mean?
MAMA BISI. ‘E mean say he dey catch rat. Na expert. And you know say them plenty for her well well. [Chuckles.]
MAMA OGENE. And what does he do with it?
MAMA BISI. He dey eat am na!
MAMA OGENE. Ewo! Jesus.
MAMA BISI. Abi na who go feed am? See, make I warn you about them folks wey dey live for this compound eh. Them wicked no be small.
MAMA OGENE. Why?
MAMA BISI. Ha! Na one of them—one stupid alfa like that—make Baba M’eku go mad now.
MAMA OGENE. Were you there?
MAMA BISI. Dey there. Them even say na rat them use do the juju. In fa’t, na why he dey stay near this place be that. He wan’ revenge.
BABA M’EKU. [Becomes angry and wants to jump down but hesitates. He bites his index finger and continues peeling the orange.]
MAMA OGENE. Really?
MAMA BISI. See, I just wan’ tell you wetin him fit do. He fit carry your wrapper when you dey baff. He fit carry your pot of rice for fire. He fit waste all the water wey dey inside your drum. He fit carry all your cloth wey dey on top wire.
BABA M’EKU. [Stops peeling orange and listens attentively.]
MAMA BISI. He fit do anything, so na you sabi how you go take cope. [Makes to leave.]
MAMA OGENE. Wait! [Mama Bisi waits.] This M’eku you’ve been talking about, how will I even know when he’s around?
MAMA BISI. ‘E simple, Mama Ogene. If him dey around, he go show him fa…
BABA M’EKU. [Hits Mama Ogene hard on the head with an orange peel.]
MAMA OGENE. [Exclaims.] Ewo!!!
BABA M’EKU. [Jumps down.] Hiya!
MAMA BISI. [Yells.] Baba M’eku o!!!

Baba M’eku roars. Mama Bisi sprints for the hallway. Mama Ogene drops the potty and flings her polythene subconsciously at Baba M’eku. She also makes for the hallway despite her loose wrapper.

TO BE CONTINUED.