Hello familylanders, pls I have an issue at hand that demands urgent treatment. I took my baby to spend sometime with her dad and grand parents. I came to pick her up today and they have refused giving me my baby and she's just a year and 8months... Mind u this guy and I are not married. Pls wat do I do? I'm thinking of reporting to police.

naniawini:
Hello familylanders, pls I have an issue at hand that demands urgent treatment. I took my baby to spend sometime with her dad and grand parents. I came to pick . Pls wat do I do? I'm thinking of reporting to police.

Involve the police and your family members right away.

Is this a joke or something? what did he say was his grievances behind his action....

Richy4:
Is this a joke or something? what did he say was his grievances behind his action....

I brought d baby to hhim dat I'll be back to pick her, nd since wen I came they have refused to hand d baby over to me.

babythug:


Involve the police and your family members right away.

I tink dats wat I need to do

U guys shud not jst view nd not drop comments. I'm almost losing my sanity

naniawini:
U guys shud not jst view nd not drop comments. I'm almost losing my sanity

You don't need more comments right now.. Take some action immediately!!!!

naniawini:
U guys shud not jst view nd not drop comments. I'm almost losing my sanity

What about your family?

you may also need to involve the police and human rights 'whatever'...

@ op, is this the first time the child will be spending time with him??

And don't you guys have like at least a cordial relationship??

mrjojo:
@ op, is this the first time the child will be spending time with him??

And don't you guys have like at least a cordial relationship??

yes this is d first time

mrjojo:
@ op, is this the first time the child will be spending time with him??

And don't you guys have like at least a cordial relationship??

I've called my uncle he'll be coming tomorrow

naniawini:
yes this is d first time

oh,I see. I really don't think you should involve the police just yet. You guys had a baby together, so at least there should be an iota of likeness Get your family involve with his family and come to an understanding.

Don't forget he is also the father of the kid. BTW, has he been involve in the upkeep of the baby? What happened between you too? That will make people understand the situation more.

naniawini:
I've called my uncle he'll be coming tomorrow

great

I think u said earlier dt ur dad warned u neva to take dt child to him if a man is nt responsible fof d upkeep if a baby den he has no rite to the baby except he has been performing his duty as expected on d baby if nt pls fight ur course nd get ur baby

You did the right thing taking her to spend time with her father. So don't beat yourself up over that. They took advantage and abused that priviledge. Now it's time for you to take action and involve family, welfare office and police. Sad that his mother thinks she can raise another woman's child without her consent. Would she have taken such a thing lightly? Go through the legal route and get your baby back. A baby girl for that matter. So sorry about this. But keep calm, even when you go and meet them with police and family

baby124:
You did the right thing taking her to spend time with her father. So don't beat yourself up over that. They took advantage and abused that priviledge. Now it's time for you to take action and involve family, welfare office and police. Sad that his mother thinks she can raise another woman's child without her consent. Would she have taken such a thing lightly? Go through the legal route and get your baby back. A baby girl for that matter. So sorry about this. But keep calm, even when you go and meet them with police and family

thanks, I'll do jst dat

Is the matter resolved now @OP?

Do not take a desperately harsh action yet. Get your family involved and let both families come to an agreement.


There is a likelihood that you may win this case if you press legal actions. However, it is only a matter of time before you'd be denied complete access to your child.

naniawini:
I tink dats wat I need to do

do that fast o before they take her to another town city or country

No wonder women are always reluctant leaving their children with their fathers people.

Some people will just be looking for unnecessary trouble

By the way I'm having a feeling that the guy dated you or slept with you because he wanted a baby and now he has gotten the baby his mission is accomplished.involve your family, women ngos social media and the police very fast.there's still time

Acidosis:
Do not take a desperately harsh action yet. Get your family involved and let both families come to an agreement.


There is a likelihood that you may win this case if you press legal actions. However, it is only a matter of time before you'd be denied complete access to your child.

denied complete acess to her child? Why?

dangotesmummy:
denied complete acess to her child? Why?

The father of the girl has absolute access to his daughter if the mother decides to get married to another man.

However, not many men likes such responsibilities.

Acidosis:


The father of the girl has absolute access to his daughter if the mother decides to get married to another man.

However, not many men likes such responsibilities.

but she didn't say she was about getting married to another man or was already living with another man

dangotesmummy:
but she didn't say she was about getting married to another man or was already living with another man

Reason I advised her not to use any harsh medium yet. She will have her way today... What about tomorrow?

I'm not in anyway encouraging the father and his family, but it could be that they are only reacting to past issues. You and I don't know the full story. May be the father needs more time with HIS daughter, may be the mother threatens never to allow HER daughter visit them again?

Acidosis:


The father of the girl has absolute access to his daughter if the mother decides to get married to another man.

However, not many men likes such responsibilities.

Is that so? I wonder why though?!

In these kind of scenarios typically I find he children are still left with their mums though.

Acidosis:


Reason I advised her not to use any harsh medium yet. She will have her way today... What about tomorrow?

I'm not in anyway encouraging the father and his family, but it could be that they are only reacting to past issues. You and I don't know the full story. May be the father needs more time with HIS daughter, may be the mother threatens never to allow HER daughter visit them again?

if that was the case the father should have said IT to the mother's face that madam o I want to bond with my daughter give me like xyz time than to be hiding the child. That action is enough to arouse suspicion that he's up to something unpleasant or ugly

babythug:


Is that so? I wonder why though?!

In these kind of scenarios typically I find he children are still left with their mums though.

Never heard of that rule but this is NL. Lots of weird info here. No-one will take a child from its mother unless they can prove she is a drug dealing hooker or neglects the child, even if she remarries. If the father files for full custody after the mother's remarriage, he has to prove that the new home won't be conducive to the child or the child will be take far away, he may be considered. Being the biological father of a child, especially when you didn't marry the mother, doesn't mean shishi.

Naniawini, call your family and be heading there tomorrow to pick up your child. Pick up first, then discuss later. He has no legal rights to custody of the child, especially if he cannot show any proof of payment or money transfers for the upkeep of the child. Do you know you could have sued him for hospital bills, if you had the baby in Lagos state, he owes you the minimum of N45,000 for hospital bill (payment for GH fees is how they calculate it). But that's in the past. In the future, all family visits should be done in your home till they can prove trustworthy and Father has discharged his responsibility. If they start speaking too much English about why they cannot give you your daughter back, The Office of the Public Defender is on Western Avenue, on the right side heading to Ojuelegba. They will tell you which police station you need to go to, if things get ugly. Our Police officers don't know the law, so they can be speaking English too unless you grease their palms. Also, NGOs are a lot in Yaba area (i think), Police hate NGOs, they move faster when they show up. Have her birth certificate, pictures and a copy of your bank statements (as proof that he didn't transfer money to your account, though he could claim he gave you cash). Does this sound like a plan?

babythug:


Is that so? I wonder why though?!

In these kind of scenarios typically I find he children are still left with their mums though.

You don't see such happening because some men count it all joy when the mama disappears with the child. Most of the time, it is the children who go about searching for their daddy. A man can give birth to 10 children, different women and still claim SINGLE/VIRGIN at 45, so they hardly care.


When a lady forcefully hides a child from his/her father, she's only hurting herself and the said child. It is only a matter of time.

My advise to OP is to ensure that both families arrive at a reasonable conclusion. By this time tomorrow when things go beyond your ability, none of the so called police men or NGO would be available to rescue you. In fact, recession would have forced some to close shop.

Do not show your weakness, but don't claim alpha and omega over a child that may someday grow to like her father more.

Something definitely led to the sudden reaction from the father's side. Involve your family, and let them resolve.

Even in the village, the elders will return the child back to the mother and you will pay your fine of yams and other goods, for disturbing the peace. But we keep spouting sentimental nonsense. I don't gerrit, even my mama is not sentimental about stuff the way I see on NL and she's not a feminist somborri. Hian!

Onegai:
Even in the village, the elders will return the child back to the mother and you will pay your fine of yams and other goods, for disturbing the peace. But we keep spouting sentimental nonsense. I don't gerrit, even my mama is not sentimental about stuff the way I see on NL and she's not a feminist somborri. Hian!

Although this is somewhat deviating from the topic I've heard similar stories of children being forcefully taken from the mums by the fathers of the said children! Often times in conjuction with the said father's family.

It's that Nigerian notion that children belong to their dad being played out here. Sometimes too it's to punish their mum for her perceived crimes which led to the separation between man and woman.

I feel except where forcefully taken no woman should allow her young children unsupervised visits to the father or his family except one is sure the estranged a man and his family are sane people!

babythug:


Although this is somewhat deviating from the topic I've heard similar stories of children being forcefully taken from the mums by the fathers of the said children! Often times in conjuction with the said father's family.

It's that Nigerian notion that children belong to their dad being played out here. Sometimes too it's to punish their mum for her perceived crimes which led to the separation between man and woman.

I feel except where forcefully taken no woman should allow her young children unsupervised visits to the father or his family except one is sure the estranged a man and his family are sane people!

I met a young lady, who never attended any Tertiary institution (infact her secondary school was a govt one), who had her 2 children taken from her by an e who had done trad with her and then the marriage went bad. If she, relatively uneducated with minor resources and the man was better educated than her, could muster up common sense and strength to get NGOs and the Office of the Public Defender involved and win her children, then anyone who cannot do the same does not really want her kids back and should stop disturbing everyone's ears with ineffectual wailing. If one decides to act like a helpless chicken, someone will bring a sharp knife to cut your throat and pluck your feathers.

Onegai:



I met a young lady, who never attended any Tertiary institution (infact her secondary school was a govt one), who had her 2 children taken from her by an e who had done trad with her and then the marriage went bad. If she, relatively uneducated with minor resources and the man was better educated than her, could muster up common sense and strength to get NGOs and the Office of the Public Defender involved and win her children, then anyone who cannot do the same does not really want her kids back and should stop disturbing everyone's ears with ineffectual wailing. If one decides to act like a helpless chicken, someone will bring a sharp knife to cut your throat and pluck your feathers.

I'm pleasantly surprised to hear this! The lady must have been desperate and I guess really determined.

Wow!