Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil (1281 Views)
My Step Mum Makes Me Uncomfortable... I Need Advice / My Step Mum (note: long ass post, please read) / Woman Docked For Turning Step Kids To Slaves (2) (3) (4)
| Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by Prettytee4: 11:27am On Nov 11, 2016 |
Hello pls I need an advice on how to handle my home,nobody is prefect but I know I am really trying my best when it comes to step kids and mother inlaw,my husband have 3kids with his ex wife and I have 2kuds for him,I have tried my best in the way u can to make our home a lovely place but it's so unfortunately that mother inlaw keep pushing step kid to me,I don't have issues with them coming over to my place beside it's their fathers house,whenever I notice those children need something I make sure there dad provides it for them little did I know that I have been a fool for a very long time,something happened and they went to their galrandmom/mother inlaw,I told her all sort of things the latest weren't really true but she took it and slander she started fighting me about that,she insulted me and hubby the day we went to clarify ourselves of what the children told her but she never listened she kept ranting,I wasn't surprise at her behaviour because I know she ha3 never liked me but just been retelling to,I love that woman from the depth of my heart I shower her with gift even without telling hubby sane applies to his siblings,I gave I respected and loved his family but thy all turn against me for God knows what the step kids told them,now non of them call or visit my home,both brother in law and step kids have stop visiting just to name me a bad person that I am not.i know a lot of homes that the step mum makes the house he'll for her step kids but mind is the oda way round.pls what shld I do?doh hubby is confuse for he doesn't know who to stay with |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by eyinjuege: 11:40am On Nov 11, 2016 |
Do nothing.. Just dey watch in 5D. When they were all coming to visit you, how did that improve your life and your health? So far your home is open to them, when they're tired of fighting they will visit. Regarding your step children, your husband has a responsibility towards them. He should make sure all their needs are met. If they want to stay with their grandma or their mum, he should visit them there regularly. Ensure he pays their school fees and drops money for their mum/grandma for their feeding. You can always buy foodstuff to send to them if they'll accept it. If you see nice clothes, buy and sendbto them if they'll accept it. You cannot force people to love you. Just do the basic, be fair in your dealings with everyone. Truth always has a way of shining through 6 Likes |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by babythug(f): 12:18pm On Nov 11, 2016 |
The poster above me has said it all!!! 1 Like |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by Prettytee4: 12:33pm On Nov 11, 2016 |
I understand what you saying,I don't mind if they come or not,the thing is they have really spoilt my name and the family are now seeing me as a bad person,mother will always tell me to keep on doing the good I am doing for the step kids but what surprised me is her sudden change after hearing what they told her without asking me,saying I shldnt make her grandchildren my maids.they don't cook for me,wash my cloths or my children's,I have someone that do all that but that doesn't mean I shldnt have them do some chores in the house,I personally take care of their bills even though it's hubby's money but I make sure their weekly allowance are paid,school fees and all that,don't just know what the problem.myself and hubby have decided we will relocate to another state may be staying far from the family will bring peace but I don't know if it's a good decision. |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by Illuminatus(m): 12:47pm On Nov 11, 2016 |
Why are they not living with you and your husband? Why do they have to stay with their grandmother? I regret to tell that citcumstances has started things in their favor when it comes to this issue. They might be seeing you as the person who has come to replace their mother and the enemy. The first step to treating them right is understanding what they want. Try as much as possible to reasonably do what you can for them, what you must. Have your husband tall to them and make them realize that you aren't the enemy here, that you aren't there to replace their mother. That you love their father just like they do and you seek for everybody to be happy. Talk with them, Have fun with them, show they that you're human too. 1 Like |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by dangotesmummy: 12:51pm On Nov 11, 2016 |
Treat them like visitors and stop the mother Xmas it's obvious they see you as a competitor thanks to your mother inlaw.don't indulge them at all because you don't know why his ex wife became his ex.you don't know whether it's the same mil drama |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by babythug(f): 12:51pm On Nov 11, 2016 |
Prettytee4: One of the things you need to realize and hold onto is that you cannot please the world!!!! If these things you've typed here is true and you've treated The children the same way you would treat yours then stop bugging your head. One day even if a hundred years afterwards the truth will find its way out and vindicate you. Be prayerful and if relocation is in the pipeline then so be it. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by Prettytee4: 1:48pm On Nov 11, 2016 |
Thanks to everyone that contributed here,myself,Thierry mum and grandmum all lv in one state,they children and all students,whenever they are on holiday they come down to my place,they only foto see their mum if needs be,but now that there is no peace in the house and their school in on strike they all left my place to their grandmum's.ibtried to bring peace in the house but it's failed,so what I will just do is to watch all of them and see how it's goes,I think it's time to let everyone be on his/her own since all my effort is not enough.thanks once again. 1 Like |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by egopersonified(f): 8:52am On Nov 12, 2016 |
Prettytee4: please take that name you just typed down |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by TheSonOfMark(m): 10:08am On Nov 12, 2016 |
dangotesmummy:What the...?! She should treat her husband's offsprings like strangers in their dad's home? Heaven save the unlucky member of my gender who'd put a ring on your digit and if he already has, then he's in purgatory! |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by babythug(f): 12:29pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
dangotesmummy: Two wrongs don't make a right. She should keep doing the right thing especially as she has no immediate issues with her spouse their father. Sometimes in a relationship one person stoops to conquer! She hasn't even said she's gone to the moon for the said children but she's been fair and behaved as expected to them which is commendable! That the children aren't receptive doesn't mean she should drop to their level and start behaving badly! My two cents |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by Timbuktuo: 2:16pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
I suspect your husband doesn't really spend that much time with them and their mum may have coached them to act the way they do. Your husband has a lot of work to do here. Per moving far from the rest of the family, that's a good idea. Sometimes, distance fosters respect or, at least, peace. You sound like you've done well, and truth is these things happen. I'd say continue being your gracious self for the kids. Don't let anyone change who you are. Pele. |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by Nobody: 3:10pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Don't be surprised to find that they have been or are being influenced by someone: either the grandma who is explicitly taking their side, or their mom who might have said some things about you behind your back (of course, she would be good to your face but you don't know what she says behind the scenes). Whatever the case may be, you said the kids have really spoiled your name and the family now sees you as a bad person. That alone shows they're up to no good and don't mean well for you, despite how good you have been to them. 1 Like |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by Nobody: 4:12pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
I mean no disrespect but op you got what you applied for - being a step mom. It's hard!!!! I can never marry a man that has kids, for my own sanity. They aren't even living with you o. imagine if they were.!! 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by babythug(f): 4:43pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Joavid: Never say never my dear! You can never tell what kind of relationship you'd end up with that will bring you so much joy but there could be children from a previous relationship. You might even end up being the one with a child wanting to move to another relationship or marriage! We don't necessarily pray for it but it does happen! Back to the matter these days many people now enjoy cordial relationships with step parents and step children alike!!! That she isn't having it smooth now doesn't mean it will always be like this and that everyone doesn't have it good with stepchildren and so on! 1 Like |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by dangotesmummy: 5:36pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
babythug:you see what is killing Nigeria, SENTIMENTS because they're your husbands children that's why she deserves to be treated condescendingly OF initially she came to the house with an air of pride or attitude then I can support the Children disrespecting her but for crying out loud she opened an arm OF friendship a you're saying 2 wrongs don't make a right.honestly some people don't deserve love Assuming she came in and was acting like a monster step mom we will Have seen all manners of name calling It's obvious the woman came from a good home and was shown love but from the tale it shows the Children deserve a toxic environment 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by dangotesmummy: 5:43pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
TheSonOfMark:abeg shut up.so because she married into their family she doesn't deserve to be treated with love and respect. What kind of untrained and unreasonable children are they. Someone is showing you love and trying to endear herself so she should be treated with disdain because she IS less of a human being or she doesn't have emotions  When you're ranting try and put yourself in the position of the said woman. If you're showing love and getting disrespect and contempt IN return how will you feel So because she's a wife the children can just be throwing any shit to her face because they are what? I don't know where you people get this kind of idea that a wife is equal to a thrash can where any member can throw any nonsense at her and she still has to remain sweet and unhurt because She's a wife If you come from such a family tufiaaaaaa And by the way treating them like a visitor means cooking ONLY FOR HER HUSBAND. If she's not around she should lock the kitchen and if they're hungry they should go to eatery or their grandmas place since they don't want love .take the father's heart away from the Children and make HIM not have their time There's a way you force and humble disrespectful children. Na them go cool down Nonsense. When you remind their father of other things when he's supposed to pay their school fees or distract him when they say they want to talk to him or completely make him inaccessible to his children they will change by force. Even the mil will respect herself Have you ever asked yourself why some mil no dey near some kind daughter in-laws house. They only talk to their son on phone More So there ARE some types of people that can never respect you no matter how much you respect them until you start disrespecting them. The more you show them love the more you become their foot mat She should continue until the children start slapping her OR asking her to wash their clothes 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by Nobody: 8:08pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
babythug: I'm a step daughter. I know what am saying. but whatever you belief. it's good for you. 1 Like |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by Nobody: 9:17pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
+1 Joavid: |
| Re: Good Step Mum But Bad Step Kids/mil by omowumeee(f): 9:37pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Abeg ignore n live your life.. if they come visit be good to them if they don't, don't look for them! |
(1) (Reply)
Unbelievable Miracle! / My Fellow Nairlanders, Have You Ever Seen This Kind Of Woman? / What Is The Right Food To Eat When Pregnant So As Not Vomit
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 60 |