Our parents do not like each other because my husband made some mistakes and ended up in jail.

Are your grandparents still alive?

Warn your parents about their feud, if they dont stop call family meeting and tell them they either get along or start looking for somewhere else to live. If they defy you call your grandparents to make room for their children homecoming. Simple!

My grandfather is alive, but I can understand why my parents are so hurt so I cannot tell them how to feel. They have decided that they want nothing to do with their old friends for what they believe is a total betrayal of their trust. They would have never given their blessing if they had known what my husband had been into.

You need to give the full story before we can advice

See above

His parents have a right to see their grandchild with your supervision while the child is still young. If you have love and respect for them and you feel your child and you are safe in the grandparents company then the right thing to do is to let them see the child.

If you really love your husband and you can wait for him then do so. You might have to be the one to keep the peace because your parents are only fighting for your wellbeing.

I think you should put everyone in their place. Thank your parents for their support and explain to them what is important for you and your child (contact with his/her father and grandparents) and the fact that you are willing to forgive him and work on your marriage.

Even if you don't want to be with your husband you have to consider the child's need for all their families.

I honestly can't really stand them because I feel that if they can treat my parents the way they did by not being forthcoming and true friends and they've known them since before I was born then they can do anything to me. But this is about my child, not their relationship with me.

I love my husband even though things are difficult right now so I want to try and give our marriage a genuine effort despite my parents bleak forecast of our future. If he wants to prove to me that despite the faulty foundation that he wants to build on a solid foundation to show me that he has a plan for iur family that is strictly legal I am willing to give him a chance. I have to have more faith in him than that because I married him, but he needs to compromise. He is in jail so I want him to respect that although I do not want to take my child to their house, that we can agree on a neutral place to meet where they can spend time with her and see her.

Just Divorce him and dump the child with his parents and move on.

I haven't met a repeat crime offender who changed, except they got saved. Working gainfully through legal means will always be a task and less profitable in his eyes.

If you knew what he was doing before marriage. Then you have to reap what you have sown. You think women who marry hard working men are fools? Fast and easy money does not last and such men are mostly mentally unstable with many issues that you do not even want to manage.

This guy will not change, except by God's grace. He is not a petty criminal when drugs are involved. He is a big time criminal and sooner than later those drug boys kill. But you stayed and he was paying your school fees. You have dug your grave out of greed. You better stay there before your case is had I known.

To break up your whole family may have to relocate and you file for full custody based on his history. Slowly remove yourself from his family and all of your family member better run for your life. It's not a surprise he turned out the way he is. His parents are nothing to be proud of!

Before marrying him you must have dated! You did not do your due diligence, either because you were greedy or you didn't care to. Good luck to you o, I hope this works out well for you. A potentially very deadly situation!

Your problem is "my parent, his parent, our parent, their parent, parent, parent, parent...."

Have you stopped to ask yourself what you both want? Did you even ask yourself if you love the guy or wanted to marry him in the first place? Was it just your parents or his who are tired of living their lives and have made yours and his an extension of theirs , to do the things they failed to do with THEIRS?

Do you even realise that both of you are now parents and responsible for a child? Why don't you decide to live your life, make your mistakes and learn from them, instead of "parenting" upandan like a lost child.

Marriage of lies and deceit. Just reading it alone has wearied me.

Sister, good luck.

all this family wahala self

Can you hear your self? You not even bothered that you married a criminal and your child has a 75% chance of picking up criminal abilities should you guys be together
You only bothered about his mama say my mama say... hmmmmm. Double hmmmmm...

@op there's no need for the long tales.

Fact is, you went into the marriage with your eyes wide open, knowing fully well you were getting hitched to a serial jailbird.

I won't judge you for your choice. Different strokes for different folks but you need to stop playing the victim and take full responsibility for your actions. Stop playing both parents against each other. Your husband is right. You're creating friction between both parties and you know it.

Now since you claim to love him despite the path he's chosen for himself, then you need to sit up. Take your daughter with you and go visit him in jail and smooth things out between yourselves.

Explain your reasons for going back to your parents' to live and that it's only temporary until you get a job and save enough money to move out. Childcare in the developed countries is expensive and career limiting so you need both parents on board - and to do that, you need to smooth things over between them.

You've married into his family. You need to sit up and hold the forte in his absence.

Listen to your parents because Marriage is a verry long distance to walk full of uncertainties.
Listen to your parents now.. . . . .

RIH345:
In response to the person who feels that I should be bothered I married a criminal. I did not see him a serial criminal because I had known of two times that he had been arrested. One was 2 weeks after we got together, and the second was before we began dating & the charges were thrown out. From that last arrest he never got arrested again, & while we awaited trial he began to work a legitimate job, took care of me, promised me he would finish his education after the trial and had become fully committed to his new life as a husband and future father. So it was as if we could really move on, but his past truly caught up with him with that last arrest because they sentenced him to 1 year & he was facing min. 3 years & they only gave him 1 because we had married & were having a baby & we asked for leniency based on this. I had never dated someone who had had trouble with the law though or I would have realized that to recieve actual jail time you had to have been arrested at least 2 or 3 times before with a slap on the wrist. So that day of his sentencing was not just the 2nd time he'd been in a courtroom. He and his parents knew that my husband had been getting into trouble years before I came into his life.
The dilemma I have now is that I take full responsibility for marrying him and his family because I truly love him and I saw a change in him, but I had to question whether people who truly cared about me would ask me to keep something so important from the people who love me the most if they didnt have ulterior motives. I'm a grown woman and I foolishly traded my honor to my parents for my loyalty to my husband and his family because I wanted to be a good wife to him and his parents. I believed that being part of their family was being part of them now and that I had to deal with our situation essentially alone as an outsider in this new family. So I truly embraced leaving my paremts behind & clinging to my bew family even though I didn't genuinely believe that not telling my parents about his past and his sentence, at my husband and his parents request was for any other reason but to protect him and them. But by not feeling as though I could or should tell my parents what was going on because I would betray my husband's trust meant that I didn't have the counsel of the people who have invested their life into raising me. I feel that him and his parents manipulated the loyalty i should have to them to keep me from seeing the other side of the coin, the negative effects of how my husband's life choices could truly affect me, not ONLY the promises and hope he and his family gave me. They assured me that my husband would not go to jail for his arrest even though they knew the full degree of his criminal history, and I trusted and hope md with them. And i saw instantly when he was sentenced to one year that they weren't being real, something was missing from their only hope for the best outlook on him.

Wait a minute. But he's your husband though and you decided to marry him. Did you tell your parents before you got married that he was a convicted criminal and had been to jail? I guess not. They would not have let you marry him if they are angry about it now. As a wife your husband's family thought you will continue to keep the family secrets without any issue. But I think you are looking for a way out as it's beginning to dawn on you the gravity of what you put yourself into. If you truly loved this guy like you said, you will never open up to your parents because you know well that they raised you better than where you landed yourself. Don't blame anybody again. Blame yourself. As you are grown, learn to solve issues within you and your husband except it is abusive. You had full disclosure before getting in. So what do you want to achieve by causing chaos? Continue to be the silent, dutiful, ride or die wife. I hope you don't get your self involved in any criminal activity either while he is in jail or out. Always remember your future and your child because this so called love you are talking about has already made you do some strange things. Start thinking with your head.

I hear what you're saying, that's what I'm doing now. Thinking with my head. Thanks