She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds.

"Who was it?" he asked.
"My husband," she replied.
"I better get going," he said.
"Where was he?"
"Relax. He'll be late, he said he is playing poker with you at your house."

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS" :
- The Engagement Ring
- The Wedding Ring
- The Suffer-Ring
- The Endue-Ring

Married life is full of excitement and frustration :
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

It's true that all men are born free and equal - but some of them get MARRIED!

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late!"

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.


At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you
wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied,
"Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to
get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm
still paying for it."

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives
and the wife takes.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was
a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear,
but I was in love and didn't notice it."

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job,
he still ends up with the same boss.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next
day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure
of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.

A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".

nice one

@Sam Milla, am about 2 marry. Y do u wnt 2 scar me away frm it? Some thins u said r ok, sm r scary. No shit l'l stil go ahead wit it. Or,

please my sister marry.you wont experience those things if you dont marry plus i wish you good luck

lol

sam Milla have you ever thot of telling jokes professionally? Theres alot of money in it.
i really look forward to reading jokes from you everytime.

Pls continue!!!