INTRODUCTION: Hi. So my name is Tobi. I am 16 years old. You would get to know more about me in coming episodes. In one simple sentence let me describe myself. I am tall, handsome,funny,energetic,smart,ambitious,playful,clever,stubborn,annoying,crazy and a very friendly type of guy. So i just finished from SS3 about a month ago, passed my Jamb and WAEC and now waiting for my university to release the date of the post-jamb. Life is going well for me. One description about myself i did not tell you is that i like girls- a lot! My last girlfriend Caro, the one i broke up with on our graduation was a top chic. Lovely eyes, soft and firm breasts(if you are asking, yes, i touched them) and a quite packaged back. After secondary school i made up my mind not to do those girls anymore. I wont do secondary school girls again. I would be going for top university babes. I am a boy with class now. #LevelsDonChange #UniversityBabesTiTakeOver. Dad said i should stay with aunty Clara's my elder sister in her university; also my dream university so that i can blend with the environment. Well i am not doing there to blend with the environment. I am going to there to hunt for babes........... Get ready for episode one!

EPISODE ONE:#AuntyClara'sHouse #ArrivalAtUniversity So we got into aunty Clara's house. I already sighted one bae from the entrance of her hostel.#SharpGuySharpEye. I really cant wait to get ready for business. After mum's ''be a good boy speech'', i was ready for action. My earpiece was on so i didnt hear a word she said. I lied to her that nothing was playing, meanwhile me i was listening to my Street Ti Take Over. I am an expert liar. How would i be a ladies man if i don't know how to lie? These girls are very daft. They would believe anything you say.#OlodoGirls. So mum and dad left and it was me and my elder sister,aunty Clara, in the house. Aunty Clara knows that i am a bad boy but she wont tell mum and dad because i know one of her deepest secrets(don't ask me i wont tell you). Aunty Clara just told me to avoid trouble with university babes because they are different from my old secondary school girls.#SeeWash. What did she take me for? I simply told her that i was up to the task and that i could even woo her sef. She quickly shouted,''BLOOD OF JESUS, I reject it.'' What? I just remembered o. Aunty Clara is the university's christian association president. Ha! Darkness and light under the same roof!This one na bad market! Aunty Clara is deeper life to the core!

EPISODE TWO:#AuntyClaraIsDeeperLife While i was still getting over the fact that aunty Clara is a real deeper life member, she was busy arranging everywhere. At first, i thought she was helping me pack my load but i later noticed it was the whole house. I had to ask her why. What! Her response shocked me to the marrow! If you are asking if that was just an idiom, no, it wasn't! I felt real shock, ELECTRICITY! Aunty Clara told me that they were having a prayer vigil at her house, that night! What the Bleep! Not even night vigil oo na prayer vigil. #IHaveEnteredIt #DeadMeat. I have never gone through a vigil in my life. The longest i have gone was 12am and it was praise vigil o. Back at home,during vigils, i would rather not go for vigils and if i did go for any vigil, i would just do praise and worship and go back to car. Now, i know some boys go to church just for girls. From opening prayer to closing prayer they would have their eyes scanning for babes.#UnholyBoys#AshawoMale. But in my church, no girl is up to my standard, the highest there is a 5.7 girl. There is this formula i use to rate girls. It is a ten point rating. I don't ''do'' girls below 6.5. The highest i have done is an 8.4 which is of course my Caro. You would be given the formula on rating girls as part of a Sunday special. There would be no episodes on Sundays. Just something i call Sunday special. Thank you.

ITS THE SUNDAY SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Welcome to today's sunday special. I hope you are enjoying the book so far. Hi. This formula on rating girls is ''STRICTLY FOR BOYS''. Girls do not give a boy any rating or use any formula because you wouldnt like the outcome. Trust me. Girls should also be warned that if they use this formula on themselves and they fall below 5.0, they shouldnt fell bad, they should just try to.....you know......work on their flaws. Also if you are a girl and you fall below 6.5, forget it, both of us cannot have anything together. We would just be friends. Now to the boys after using this formula on a girl,please,please,please if she asks you what you rate her, dont tell her. You may not like her response. Now to the formula, IF YOU ARE BELOW 16, please ignore this message, some words below are not for your age! The formula is FH-BALS(Pronounced FH balls,for easy recollection) F- Face: the face is an important part of the female body. You dont want people to see you with a girl that looks like your elder brother! Use your instincts to look for fine girl. H-Hands: Did i just say her hands? Yes, i did. The female hand can be anything. For example, if she catches you cheating on her, you dont want a strong that will slap you and you would start shouting ''who off light'' . Go for the less painful hand. The hands can also be used for handjobs. You dont want rugged hands doing that for you. In one sentence, strong hands can break your balls.....ouch! B- breasts: less than 16? this is not for you. Kindly go and watch spongebob please. This is one of the things you look out for in a girl. 2he breasts are like two eyes look straight at you. The breasts are positioned at the front so that you can clearly see it. Go for the soft and firm breasts; like Caro. Ignore hard ones that look like boils. Yes, i said that. Soft ones are the best!! Have you ever wonddered why most people prefer puff puff to buns? Its because it soft; i wont say much. A- Ass: A for apple, B for ball. No its a for ass, b for breasts. Have you ever noticed why we build back doors in our houses? So that if we cant pass the front door we pass the back door!! If you are with this girl and you want to get down with her, but she says no, maybe she doesnt want to get pregnant or no condom money; try the back door my friend. Thats why the ass is at the back! L-lips.yes the lips. A multi tool for the females abussing kissssing Mouth Gig etc: pick wisely. pick the one that suits your style.

Please lets continue from that ''suit your style''. Sorry for the mix up. S- Sensitive Vagina. Below 16? Ignore this part before your mummy says that i am the one that spoilt you. Now i dont know what i sensitive vagina is because i am still a virgin(well that is what i want you to think) but i feel we cant talk about females without this. It is what defines them. You and her should be sexually compatible. If she only go for one minute but you are a 3 hour horse...problem dey ooo.
So those are the six criteria for rating girls. Now to the mathematical formula. Each component i.e the face,hand.breast,ass,lips and sensitve vagina FH-BALS. Each of them is worth five points. Add rating her on each criteria, add everything together and divide by three. The answer is her rating. For example, a girl who is very pretty, you may give 4 points, then her hands are soft and warm you may give 5 points, her breasts is just average not that soft not that hard, not that big not that small you can give 3 points, her ass is like dry leaves 1 point niyen o, cute pink lips that can be 4 points and if she says she can go ten minutes on bed thats a 1 point too, well depending on how long you sef can go. So F+H+B+A+L+S=18 points. Then divide by three, 18/3=6.0. So she is a 6.0 girl. That is how you rate a girl.
Goodluck with your ratings boys. Give yourself class. I dont do below 6.5. Join us next sunday for another wonderful sunday special. New episode coming tomorow. Thank you to all those that say my writing is Nice. Keep the compliments coming. I love people complimenting my work. I also want comments. Thank you guys. I love you all. You mean a lot to me!

EPISODE THREE:#PrayerNight #FireMustFall #Amen So prayer night is here. By 8pm, people gathered at aunty Clara's house. She had told me earlier to plug in my earpiece so that my ''evil and immoral'' song will not quench the Holy Spirit in the atmosphere. The song that go her angry was Big Sean's I don't Bleep with you! She didn't like the lyrics at all, especially the word ''Bleep'' which was almost in every line of the song.#HolyGirl #SaintClara. Some people sha! I told aunty Clara that i didn't want to be part of the prayer vigil. I would sleep off. I don't think i have even prayed for ten minutes. I kept complaining but she wouldn't listen. So it was 9pm and the vigil started. There were about 30 of them in the house. I noticed that 2he females there were awesome sha! So church girls can be good like this. The lowest among them was a 6.7 which was impressive. Wow; something just happened here o. One of these church girls just bent down to pick her Bible and OMG!!! Her breasts were on point, lovely record. But all the same, i need to leave this place #Gerrarahere. I pressured aunty Clara that i couldn't stay here and she did the unexpected.......

EPISODE FOUR: #NoVigilAbeg Finally, aunty Clara accepted that i should not be part of the vigil. She said that i could sleep, but not in the house because of the vigil. She introduced me to her best friend, the secretary of their christian association, Tolu. As one of my friends would say that ''girls named Tolu are always pretty'' she was indeed beautiful. She gave me a warm handshake and i noticed that her hands were soft-this is one of the criteria for rating girls. She was a 9.1. She would have been my first project but one flaw-she was older than me. Well, from the look you would know. So aunty Clara said that i would sleep in Tolu's house which was not far from aunty Clara's house. So Tolu took me to her house and showed me everywhere. She had only one room in the house-her room. I told her that i would sleep in the parlour hoping that she would allow me sleep in her room. At least she allow her best friend's brother sleep on a hard couch. She fell for it. She asked me to sleep in her room since she wont be using it that night because she would be at the vigil. Tolu left the house and it was only me in the house. I entered the room- a typical girl's room. I started scanning the whole room and i sat on the bed. My legs felt something under the bed. I bent down to look and found something i should not have found!

EPISODE FIVE: #WhatDidIFind I found something i should not have found! CD's. If you are thinking condoms then you are right, but you have a bad mind sha! Condoms. Female ones. Wow. What could a so called Christian Sister be doing with these condoms? Well, she might use it for something good. Maybe sexual awareness to the young ones or something. I did not want to believe otherwise. Yes she has the physical qualities of a runs girl but she is spiritual-i am sure of that. She didnt expose any part of her body-the vital parts sha. So it was Friday night, my sister is in her vigil and i am here in a house that is not mine. Friday Night Smackdown! #HustleLoyaltyRespect #WWERAW. I had seen the DSTV decoder already. So i switched it on. Oh no! What did i find on the TV screen? Something my dad would not want to see on TV! He would be like,''na wa o'' after seeing it. If you guessed CD's was condoms a few minutes ago and you think they were having sex on TV or something related, you are wrong and obviously have a dirty polluted mind! Right there on the TV screen was that Tolu's DSTV subscription had expired! Now, what do i do? An idea came to my mind....

EPISODE SIX: #IAmBored I decided to just chat throughout the night. Well, till i fall asleep. Right there on my phone, the first message was Caro's. She was begging me to come back to her. She claimed that she loves me. She's dying to have me. I told her ''NO'', but i did like the fact that she was begging me. Boys love it a lot when girls beg them. Everybody likes it! In fact it is human nature. Well, Caro continued begging me. All of a sudden she sent a video! Omg! #ThisIsPorn #StrongErection. She sent a video of her naked while she was handling her breasts. I was amazed. She didn't show her lower part. Well i havent seen her vagina before. I am not a Bleep boy! She knew how much i loved breasts so she trapped me. I watched the video seven more times and there was sperm on Tolu's bed. I noticed this but it was just a little sha. I did not know what to do. I told Caro that i loved her and want to get back with her. She really got me where she wanted. #GirlsTrapSha. She was texting me but i didn't reply. I watched the video four more times before sleeping off......

Well done man....enjoying it...pls update more

EPISODE SEVEN: #WakingUpInTolu'sHouse Saturday morning. I woke up in Tolu's house. She had already prepared breakfast. I ate at her house and went to aunty Clara's house. Aunty Clara was already sleeping because of the vigil. Less than five minutes into my walk, i saw this feminine figure walking right in front of me. She was on the short tight skirt- my favorite type of skirt. This was officially the biggest ass i have ever seen in my life. I hurried up and walked fast to her-at least to see her front. The front was indeed great and the dress she wore exposed her front-pretty much. Wow. I was staring at it while trying to walk at exactly the same line with her to get a good view of it! Then she said, ''You really like breasts o''. I was embarrassed. Well i had to say yes! #SheCaughtMe. She said her name was Grace and we exchanged numbers. Yes, just like that! The next thing she said was a surprise to me. It shocked me.

Nice one man, update more

EPISODE EIGHT:#WhatDidSheSay What she said shocked me. ''Can i come visit you sometime?'' she said. Yes. Ofcourse. Definately. Sure. Why not? Certainly. Absolutely. Positively. Affirmative. Indeed. There are some questions that should not be asked. #JambQuestions. I told her yes. We decided to talk later on phone. Thank God i decided to go for a walk. I turned back to go to aunty Clara's house. She had already woken up. She noticed i was smiling unusually. Like a mind reader she said, ''You have started with girls abi?''. Before nko, why am i here? What is my usefulness here? #WorkHasStarted. That saturday went normal. I called Grace and i descibed aunty clara's house to her. She decided to come on monday by 1:30pm. I used style to ask aunty Clara where she would be on monday by 1:30pm. I did not want her to spoil my show. She said she would be having lectures. Good! Perfect! #CantWaitForMonday. So sunday came and i followed aunty clara to church. It was an old school church with young people in it! I shouldnt have been there, if not that aunty Clara forced me. My mind was not in the service at all. I was busy thinking about tommorow's show with Grace. When it was time for the message, Tolu was to preach. She stood on the pulpit and said her topic was ''sexual immorality''....

EPISODE NINE: #SexualImmorality Sexual immorality is this, its that. Tolu was just lashing out against my business. Abeg nobody should come and tell me shit o. I don't care if its good or not, by the way, it is good, i am still having my show tomorrow. As if Tolu read my mind, she talked expressly on sexual immorality, disadvantages of condoms(now i see why she had those condoms under her bed the other night, i knew she was a good girl). I began to change my mind about tomorrow's show. Maybe i shouldn't do it. I guess i would just call Grace and tell her not to come. Well, Tolu ,made the altar call and i stood up. #BornAgain. I stood up to take a stroll out of the church. Did you think i was standing up for the altar call? No. Me keh. Not after i have booked a date with the biggest yansh i have ever seen. I took a three minute stroll and came back to the church. Tolu was still praying for the new converts. Finally, Tolu's ''Say no to sexual immorality'' speech ended. At one point of the speech, i prefered listening to mum's ''be a good boy speech''. After the service, aunty Clara came to meet me. She gave me the key to the house. She said that she was having an executive meeting and after that she would go and visit the new converts. Sshe told me that i could go home. I had the house to myself.....

Yea.... Loving this...... Come on your good!

thank you

pls more update bro.

EPISODE TEN: #HomeAlone I got to the house and there was light. Plugged in our DSTV and was watching my Sunday Wrestling Summer Slam. After about an hour of watching, Tolu came inside. She said that they were through with the meeting but she could not visit the new converts because she was tired. She said she came to watch her America GotsTalent Show because her DSTV subscription had expired. She asked if she could change the station. I said no problem. #BecauseSheWasFemale. If it were a boy, my answer would be a very big NO. Who he epp? Tolu sat on the chair facing me directly. I noticed that the top two buttons of her shirt were not there and so i could see her fresh breasts.#CowbellOurMilk. Wow! Tolu really got this thing o. I also noticed her red bra and fresh laps.#EagleEyes. She was confirm bae material. A 9.1 indeed! This was just a girl that was talking against sexual immorality about two hours ago. If only she knew what she missing. Well, while she was busy watching America Gots Talent, i was busy watching Tolu's Breast Gots Talent. This is just awesome. Suddenly, NEPA took off the light.....

Bro your updates are just too short

EPISODE ELEVEN:#NepaAsUsual I hope no one reading is suprised that there is no light. I could read disappointment on Tolu's face. She didn't finish watching her show. Eeyah. Pele. I decided to go to my room and probably sleep. I have no problem with Tolu being in the house while i am sleeping because her and aunty Clara were best friends. Tolu just sat on the chair busy with her phone. When i told her that i wanted to go and sleep in my room she felt i didn't want to talk with her. "Can your friends come and visit you and you just tell them you want to go and sleep?" I said no. "Oya gist me",she said. Hmmm. Which gist does she want us to have? Say no to sexual immorality? She better not bring that topic. We are not in church again o.#KilodeGan. She just asked me to gist her about my secondary school life. I gisted her about everything except the Caro part ofcourse. She told me her own secondary school life too. It was boring, but i had to show a "listening face". She noticed this and told me that i could go and sleep. I went to my room but sleep didnt come. I switched on my laptop. While i was typing my password, Tolu came into the room....

wow, interesting... Abeg continue, and mention me when you update

BOOK NAME-THE TEENAGE LIFESTYLE(Thanks to:Ayavga Aondover and Falaye Henry) EPISODE TWELVE:#ToluInTheRoom "What are you doing?" she asked. I told her i wanted to watch a movie. An action movie. She said she didn't like action movies. "So what do you like?" I asked. She said she liked watching music videos. Music what? "I don't have any Christian music video(wait sef, shey they produce christian music videos and if they do why would i download it?)"I told her. "Let me see this one" she said as she sat on the bed. I was surprised. Tolu really wanted to see my music videos. I played the first video and i caught her singing along with the song.#NaSo #GoodGirlTurnBad. She even sang the lyrics i did not know. She told me that she loved music and listened to any type of music. I was surprised but quite happy. Aunty Clara should be more like her. Not some old fashioned Christian. Tolu didn't even cover her hair, unlike my aunty Clara, the real deeper lifer. She always cover her hair. In the church, road, school, lecture, toilet, bathroom(hair net), kitchen, sleeping etc. It was very easy to mistake aunty Clara a devout Christian to a hijab wearing concentrated Muslim. From Olamide's videos to Davido to Tiwa Savage, we were watching all videos. Then it came the turn of Rihanna and Drake-Work video....

more pls

Following but please update more often

BOOK NAME-THE TEENAGE EXPERIENCE(THANKS TO: Ayavga Aondover and Falaye Henry) EPISODE THIRTEEN:#WorkWorkWorkWork "Oh, i don't think you would like this one" I said. The video's content was not for Christian eyes to see. Tolu said that she had watched the video and she liked it. Well, i played it sha. The first minute i was already "active"-i think you know what i mean(We elders do not use all the mouth to talk, if you don't know the meaning of active ask your daddy!). I took a brief look at my penis it was already double its size. I tried to hide it between my laps. It got to Drake's and Rihanna's part.#ThePartyAfterTheParty. "I can twerk" she said. Ehn. What you say? If it were others girls i would have said "show me", but not Tolu. I just said okay. #StillShocked. This change was too fast. Then she said "let me show you, stand up." I reluctantly stood up because my penis was already forcing its way out of my trousers. Boys can understand this. #ThatWeirdMoment. I stood up and she saw my penis. She just smiled. She pushed my to the wall and turned her back. Her ass was romancing my penis. I could not move. For other girls i would have grabbed them, but Tolu was different, a church minister. I did not know what to do. What should i do?......

just use two hands to grap your " oppurtunity".lol

just use two hands to grap your " oppurtunity".lol pls more update

BOOK NAME: THE TEENAGE LIFESTYLE (Thanks to: Ayavga Aondover and Falaye Henry)BIRTHDAY EPISODE:EPISODE FOURTEEN:#WhatShouldIDo? She was older than me. She just spoke against sexual immorality. She was my sister's best friend. She was the secretary of the Christian Association. She was a role model to young Christians. She was Tolu. She looked like a saint-i thought she was, but no. This was her ass right here in my hands. As much as i wanted to do it, it didnt feel right, for the first time. I pushed her aside. I left the room and went outside. She was still inside trying to button her shirt. She came outside and told me she wanted to talk. We got inside and she got on her kneels. She begged me not to tell anyone what just happened. She lied against the usual suspect, the devil ofcourse! I said i would keep the secret. I joined her on her kneels and gave her a hug. I could hear her cry. "I would never tell anyone what just happened, I promise." I said that to guarantee her that all was well. Suddenly aunty Clara walked in and said,"What just happened?" Tolu fainted........

BOOK NAME: THE TEENAGE LIFESTYLE(Thanks to: Ayavga Aondover and Falaye Henry) EPISODE FIFTEEN:#ToluFainted Tolu,Tolu,Tolu. Wake up. What happened to her? Can you hear me? Aunty Clara and I were bouncing around Tolu like the catfish that comes in contact with salt(Thanks to Pete Edochie, hope i got the name right). #AfricanProverbs. We did not know what to do. What if she was dead? Over a million thoughts came into my head in a second. "Call Brother Osho!" Aunty Clara screamed. Brother Osho was the choir master of the University's Christian Fellowship. He was the only one in the fellowship that owned a car.#RichGuy. He was a talented singer. I called Brother Osho and he said he was coming immediately. Aunty Clara was crying and praying at the same time. I was just thinking about what happened thirty minutes ago. Brother Osho came in like Superman rushing into an accident or crime scene. #HeroicMoment #TheHeroHasArrived. He didn't ask questions, he just carried her to the car. I was in the front while Tolu's body and Aunty Clara were at the back. Thirty minutes ago, i was in an awful situation with Tolu, now, still in an awful situation. My conscience began to haunt me. I felt dirty, unholy, immoral and terrible. I have never felt like this before. We were going to the University's clinic. I asked God for forgiveness in my heart. I told God that if Tolu lives, i would not do anything bad again. I would confess. I would confess. "Aunty Clara, i want to say something.........

intresting..... more update pls.

BOOK NAME:THE TEENAGE LIFESTYLE(Thanks to:Ayavga Aondover and Falaye Henry) EPISODE SIXTEEN:#TimeToConfess Aunty Clara, I want to say something, "maybe Tolu should lie down, instead of that sitting position she is in". Sounds stupid right? Common! If it were you nko. I had to say something-but not the truth. We arrived at the hospital and Tolu was admitted. Brother Osho, Aunty Clara and I were disturbed. My hands and legs were shaking. Finally Tolu was conscious and we were allowed to see her. How would ordinary fainting lead to all these? I have seen people faint before but not this far. Han han. Na wa o. The silent Brother Osho clearded the air,"Tobi,how did it happen?" Ehn! For a while i thought i had escaped the question from Aunty Clara, now, Brother Osho is bringing it up. Cant they just forget how it happened and thank God that she is awake? I looked at Tolu's face. It was a face saying,"remember you promised not to tell them." i had to lie to them. After getting my doctorate degree in lieing, it was easy to cook up a lie. It didnt take me a nano second before i said she fell down and fainted after complaining she had an heavy headache. Abi. I had to put that heavy headache there. They can't sha do X-ray and find headache there. Aunty Clara and Brother Osho believed at once. #MumuPeople. The doctor came in and said he wanted to see us. It was something serious, it was about Tolu..........

nyc. more grease to your elbow