What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

---

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the

Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance."

---

A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween

night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her

husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and

pitchfork.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm the Devil," she responded.

"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister."

---

A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked.

"Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife appears out of  nowhere"

Volume 2 coming out soon 

i like it

Stale

^^ Liar Watch out For Volume 2

^^ Thank you Bro

U don finish?

The spambot dey delete volume 2 

I get am reach volume 6.

See am here https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=profile;u=372221;sa=showPosts

A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

This Man Stupid no be small



A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual survey in Jeff's neighborhood.
"How often a week do you have sex with your wife?" asked the inquirer.
"Three times," Jeff said without hesitation.
"That is once more often than your neighbor," the inquirer said, writing.
"That makes sense," Jeff said, "after all, she's my wife

This man na big fool

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Can you imagine?

No lol

Pharoh:

^^ Liar Watch out For Volume 2

I am not a liar

Kunbee:

I am not a liar

Sorry Mummy It was slip of Keyboard.

Should i say pretender?

Watevs

K

watevs = Wat Ever?

Duh!

Tell me na am still a kid so i don't know it.

You got it right

You need some lashes.

4 pulling my legs.

Where do you want the lashes?

on his thing.

lol aristo u bed o!!!

aristole:

on his thing.

Did you actually mean on her his thing? or you need glasses

Abbey_city:

lol aristo u bed o!!!

Haba make you get shame na you dey for aristo bed ke.

When my thing is sweeter

stop deceiving urself

Moderator please release this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-352698.0.html#msg4936416

no i wunt

You resemble moderator.

no i dont

So how you take lock am? 

Pharoh:

Where do you want the lashes?

No one beats me