if u are marrying for such reason, then, what wld u do, after wedding, he turns out to have the power in his hands?

He had better not try that nonsense with me or else. . .

michelin89:

He had better not try that nonsense with me or else. . .

Else what?

Reality is until you get married to someone, you are always second. Second to themselves, second to their family, second to their friends, second to even their dog.

Everyone deserves to be first and if by misfortune you fall in love with a mummy's boy, or a friend adulator, nothing stops you from tieing him up in marriage to retain the first position. Then you can make him pay for all those years you spent being the less important.

After marriage, you will be second if i wanna make u second.
One thing that you need to know is this, you can define yourself to be what you want, but what the man define you to be is what you are, the law, your friends and your mind can tell you otherwise, but only him can tell you where you belong.
So if you wanna marry for power, my sister, you have no clue what cld be in the pipeline . . . .

I love surprises. They are challenging.

That is good

michelin89:

I love surprises. They are challenging.

Trust me, in marriage you will see plenty surprises, I have seen them in many marriages. All the best. 

For me, I need better reasons, else I want she & I to remain lovers till either love or hatred or change of mind or death do us part.

I feel u jare

Why do u think we marry?

you guys are still on this thread

as it seems you will never find an answer that will satisfy you why not wait till you marry then viola you will finally know the reason you married

~Sissy~:

you guys are still on this thread

as it seems you will never find an answer that will satisfy you why not wait till you marry then viola you will finally know the reason you married

Not good enuf, there need to be able to have reasons before doing such.

Now see this reasons, are these good enuf for someone to marry, cook for someone, and run errand for him and make him feel like a king?
These are all things that cld be done without the "i do"
So take your time and think hard about da reason why you marry or would get married

LOL U R A JOKER
wat other reason do i need before i say "I DO"
Run errand?? do i look like his maid

OAM4J:

Trust me, in marriage you will see plenty surprises, I have seen them in many marriages. All the best.  

For me, I need better reasons, else I want she & I to remain lovers till either love or hatred or change of mind or death do us part.

True talk  OAM4J. I totally agree with you. In a lot of  marriages there's no commitment whatsoever!

Fhemmmy:

Not good enuf, there need to be able to have reasons before doing such.

more than good reasons have been given, so what other magic reason is there?

The reasons for marriage is simply to meet or satisfy needs. These needs may be physical, physiological, emotional, spiritual, economical, pressure-wise, societal, you can name them. Marrying is one way to live complete holistically except if one has other reason(s) not to marry.

gospelseed:

The reasons for marriage is simply to meet or satisfy needs. These needs may be physical, physiological, emotional, spiritual, economical, pressure-wise, societal, you can name them. Marrying is one way to live complete holistically except if one has other reason(s) not to marry.

The debate has been that, all these needs can be met by 2 lovers without getting married. Why must we say 'I do' when we can achieve all these without getting married and possibly prevent future pains.

The debate has been that, all these needs can be met by 2 lovers without getting married. Why must we say 'I do' when we can achieve all these without getting married and possibly prevent future pains.

That was why I said, holistic completeness is in marrying. Something is wrong with meeting some of these needs outside marriage. Religious beliefs apart, even traditions understand that there is something wrong about those who believe in doing things ordained within marriage outside marriage. Having a life partner is never a pain, pains come from wrong choices. This is true of every other thing apart from marriage. Wrong choice is the mother of pain. A good marriage choice is one of the most wonderful things that can happen to any body.

gospelseed:


That was why I said, holistic completeness is in marrying. Something is wrong with meeting some of these needs outside marriage. Religious beliefs apart, even traditions understand that there is something wrong about those who believe in doing things ordained within marriage outside marriage. Having a life partner is never a pain, pains come from wrong choices. This is true of every other thing apart from marriage. Wrong choice is the mother of pain. A good marriage choice is one of the most wonderful things that can happen to any body.

I will take it that, you accept marriage, because of your religion and traditional believes. That is good enough but some peep dont give a damm about religion and traditional believes you know.

I agree with your good choice concept, but so many people never know/believe they were making wrong choices until they got married, then it become difficult/late to reconsider thier choices. Again if they only remain lovers and later realise they are not meant for each other, they simply move on thier separate ways without any divorce complications

Fhemmmy, are you ever going to tell us the answer to your question? You've even managed to open old wounds that's enough,

~Sissy~:

more than good reasons have been given, so what other magic reason is there?

I wish i know too . . . wanna learn too.

SA Lady:

Fhemmmy, are you ever going to tell us the answer to your question? You've even managed to open old wounds that's enough,

Mind sharing that old wound for us all to learn?

OAM4J:

I will take it that, you accept marriage, because of your religion and traditional believes. That is good enough but some peep dont give a damm about religion and traditional believes you know.

I agree with your good choice concept, but so many people never know/believe they were making wrong choices until they got married, then it become difficult/late to reconsider thier choices. Again if they only remain lovers and later realise they are not meant for each other, they simply move on thier separate ways without any divorce complications

Keep it bro.

chaircover:

Has anyone noticed the poll

The highest number of votes was for "To make me happy" and only 15% got married to "make their mate happy" but the most intriguing result was 18% of people didn't know why they were married/will get married.

you seems to be one of the very few that analyzes the poll . . . i think it is sad the reason why people are getting married.

Femi, do ppl actually marry to make the other mate happy?

True love gives independent of what it gets. Those claiming they are marrying for love should be doing it in other to make their mates happy.

FL Gators:

Femi, do ppl actually marry to make the other mate happy?

You mean you have never heard someone saying, i married him cos i feel bad for him?

Fhemmmy:

You mean you have never heard someone saying, i married him cos i feel bad for him?

In movies, yea.

FL Gators:

In movies, yea.

I am sure it happens in real life oh.
For example a man gave a woman belle and married the woman cos of the baby, even thought he knows he does not love the woman, what would u say to that?

Hmm good question


Societal ritual?  Religious expectation? Familial and/or peer pressure?  Need for companionship?
For structure and family? Satisfy sexual needs? To feel a deeper sense of commitment to one's love for a spouse?
To bear children within normal customs?  For benefits?

H2O2:

Hmm good question


Societal ritual?  Religious expectation? Familial and/or pressure?  Need for companionship?
For structure and family? Satisfy sexual needs? To feel a deeper sense of commitment to one's love for a spouse?
To bear children within normal customs?  For benefits?

Do u noticed that with all your reasons, nothing is about you . . . .it is all about people and society and customs, so where do u fit in?

Fhemmmy:

I am sure it happens in real life oh.
For example a man gave a woman belle and married the woman cos of the baby, even thought he knows he does not love the woman, what would u say to that?

Sugbon Femi, iyen ko ki n se bad feeling na.
Thatz fulfilling a responsibility and an obligation.

But I get whatchu trynna say.

FL Gators:

Sugbon Femi, iyen ko ki n se bad feeling na.
Thatz fulfilling a responsibility and an obligation.

But I get whatchu trynna say.

Unfortunately, i am not too good in reading Yoruba.
But a man can fulfill responsibilities and still make himself happy.