When I started sending out job applications after NYSC, my phone was regularly inundated with all manners of ridiculous interview invitation from funny named companies for positions with ‘Executive this and that’ titles. From my base in Kwale, Delta State, the first time I got GNLD people’s interview invite… two interview invites, I almost jumped into the next Lagos bound bus with frenzy. Who doesn’t want to be ‘Special Executive Administrative Manager’?

I packed my clothes into a backpack and headed to Lagos Bus Park. While waiting for the bus to fill up, I decided to Google the company’s address. My people, what did I see on my phone screen? Scam… Multi Level Marketing… Ponzi Scheme… Itinerant Drugs/Health Products Marketing… N15,000 Seminar Training Fees… Groundnut Oil Marketing… and all manners of terrible uncomplimentary comments.

If you doubt me, just Google search ‘No 9, Oremeji Street, Isolo, Lagos and No 1, Babatunde Street, Off Ogunlana Drive’ In my mind, I cried out… Jesus Christ of Nazareth, what is the meaning of this rubbish? I had to shed a bucket of sweat and abuse the Driver’s great grand mama before I could get the transport fare I had earlier paid refunded. And when I got home, my uncle wouldn’t stop laughing at me.

I, me, myself… I still can’t comprehend why, out of all the millionaires, middle class workers and comfortable businessmen in this country, it is broke job applicants that some wicked fellows prefer to scam. They’re not only wicked, they’re also dumb. After collecting small change from desperate job seekers and sharing it among themselves, what do they gain? Since then, anytime I get job interview Invite, the first thing I do is to search the company’s address. If I see GNLD anywhere in the search result, I delete the text message with speed. Who has time for nonsense?

I never knew those people and their nuisance are omnipresent. Just like a phone thief… you jolly well know that if a thief is hell bent on stealing your phone, no matter how hard you try to protect it, once you take your eyes off it even for just three seconds, your phone is gone. That was how one bastard, son of a bitch GNLD agent got me when I eventually travelled to Lagos for a series of Bank tests and one interviews in Lekki. This particular one was Union Bank CBT test in one company opposite Manor Events Center in Lekki Phase 2.

Now let me tell you categorically that I am not a JJC to Lagos. I was born and raised in Lagos before moving to Abeokuta. All my aunties and uncles are Lagos based too so I know Lagos quite well. However, many years away from the city had ‘dulled my sense’. So when the GNLD brat waylaid me, I didn’t see it coming. Let me also add that I attended Kaymu test in Lekki Phase 1 about a week earlier so I knew my way around quite well.

Armed with the printout slip of my test invitation, you need to see me in a posh suit under Iyana Ipaja bridge. When going to Victoria Island/Lekki from Iyana Ipaja, I normally took CMS bound bus under the bridge around 6.30 AM but when I got there at 10 AM, there was no CMS bound danfo*. I didn’t want to stop at chaotic Oshodi for anything so I hung around hoping a CMS bound bus would come. Then I saw a neat looking guy… tucked in sleeve, Vickers and brown shoes. I approached him and asked if CMS bound buses had changed their park. He said CMS buses only come under the bridge early in the morning and by 8 A.M, I wouldn’t find any CMS bound bus in Iyana Ipaja. I sighed and thanked him.

No CMS bus means I must drop at Oshodi. Well, I neither had time nor any other choice. As I was about to board an Oshodi bound bus, the guy tapped me and told me to wait. He said he is going to V.I but he had no transport fare on him and silently begged me to help him. My ‘Lagos Sense’ instantly told me not to give cash to strangers at any bus stop.

I reasoned that since I am going to Lekki and he is going to V.I, no problem, I will pay his transport fare to V.I as it wouldn’t cost me more than N300. I told him we could move to V.I together while I find my way to Lekki. He thanked me profusely. So we got into Oshodi bound bus and moved. In my mind, I thought if the guy only wanted to collect cash from me, he wouldn’t have joined me in the bus so he must be genuine.

At Oshodi, the guy wanted us to take BRT bus to CMS because BRT is cheaper but I told him not to worry about money as I don’t have time to wait for a whole BRT bus to get filled up. The guy said since I don’t have time, we should go on top of Oshodi bridge and board direct bus to CMS instead of going to NUTRW Park. I thought that made sense so we climbed up the bride and promptly jumped into a CMS bound danfo with impatient driver behind the wheel. In my mind, I was thinking… this driver is speed demon… small time, I’ll be at CMS. That’s great.

As we were headed to CMS… somewhere along the expressway with some big warehouse-like factories along the six lane expressway, the bus suddenly stopped. The guy told me to pay the conductor. I was stunned. I searched my pocket and brought out my printed invitation slip again to check the address because this wasn’t where I was supposed to drop. The impatient driver shouted at me that I should pay the conductor and get out of his bus. Who wants to be further embarrassed? I paid the conductor and got out of the dammed danfo.

I now turned to the guy and asked him… “Why did tell the driver to stop here”? He pointed across the six lane expressway and said my test center is there. Holy Smokie, how would a reputable bank recruitment test hold among some warehouses not far from Oshodi?! I told him to go his way while I go my way. The guy said I’m a good person that just helped him and he cannot lie to me. I ignored him and tried flagging down busses at top speed but none stopped.

Time was fast running away. The only way to get moving again was to head back to Oshodi and board a Lekki bound bus. But as I looked at cars speeding by at 140km/hr, I didn’t have the liver to cross the expressway with my drop foot. If motor jam me, what will I tell God if He asks what I came to do in heaven when it is not yet my time? How will my lifeless body explain to my Papa and Mama that I got knocked down by a car while trying to help a fellow citizen?

The guy refused to go o. He said he can’t leave me by the expressway. He assured me he would help me cross the expressway safely. I watched many other people cross the expressway safely and decided to give it a try. I made sure I couldn’t see any car coming before I crossed both three lanes with sighs and relief. The guy now said we should hurry to my test center before it’s too late. In mind, I thought… “This guy thinks I am a zombie, right?” I looked around me. It was all open space. I don’t think anyone would attempt to kidnap me there. I decided to see for myself what the guy was up to since the phony test center is just a around the corner. I now said to the guy… “Okay, let’s go there!”

When we got to the place which was just a crescent off the expressway, I saw a lot of well dressed young people loafing around. A voice told me maybe the guy was right after all but I promptly told the voice to shut up. As we walked through a black, see through gate into the shaded compound, I couldn’t pinpoint what exactly the young people came for or what they were doing. Some sat down under the tree shade in the compound looking gloomily while others formed round cell groups with someone in the center. The center guys talked with frenzy as if Holy Ghost fire just settled into them. The guy now tapped me and said he wants to go and call my instructor and I should wait for him.

I nodded at him and watched him disappear into the crowd. Immediately I saw him enter one of the air conditioned buildings, I got up from where I sat and headed out of the compound to check the company’s signboard. Outside the premise, my people, what did I see?

Source and I'll make the full post here later in the day as i'm quite busy right now but if you would like to read the full drama, you can check it out here...

http://alibabagist.com/2016/12/19/gnld-has-killed-me/

Cheers.

As a funny guy, you already have a good job. Just develop it and gbam your there with money

It's a nice story but you slipped when you said you are Lagos brought-up and knows your way around yet had to be persuaded and helped to cross the express.

menxer:
It's a nice story but you slipped when you said you are Lagos brought-up and knows your way around yet had to be persuaded and helped to cross the express.

I have drop foot ... I can cross a dual carriage way alone....

but a 6 lane highway with cars darting at one at 140km ... do you think its wise I cross the road alone without help?

not everyone brought up in lagos know everywhere in lagos. if you live in ikorodu or v.I ... wouldnt you need directions if you're going to alagbado or iyi aba?

onyefin:
As a funny guy, you already have a good job. Just develop it and gbam your there with money

to set up the platform ... requires hard capital ... to raise capital, you have to look for job to earn and save or get sponsors...

I can't rob bank my dear.

Oya OP, come an go an continue o

oweniwe:


I have drop foot ... I can cross a dual carriage way alone....

but a 6 lane highway with cars darting at one at 140km ... do you think its wise I cross the road alone without help?

not everyone brought up in lagos know everywhere in lagos. if you live in ikorodu or v.I ... wouldnt you need directions if you're going to alagbado or iyi aba?

Sorry, I missed the "drop foot" part.

Let me introduce you to a business scheme called paid rocket.
Paid rocket is a 4x4 matrix pyramid, where a member registers by referral. Yes, somebody must refer you or else you will be matched with a robot, a default referrer.
When you have been referred, you pay the person who referred you $2 (#1000). He confirms it and activates you. You will then refer 4 people. These 4 people are your level 1 downline. They will each pay you 1k, making 4k all together.

Then, you upgrade to lvl 2 by paying the person above your referrer #2,500. After that, your lv2 downline will also upgrade by paying you #2,500 each, making 16 x #2,500 = #40,000. Isn't that fair?

You also upgrade to lv3 the same way, pay the assigned person #5,000 and your level 3 downlines consisting of 64persons (from your 16 person lv2 downline) will pay you #5,000 each, making #320,000.

All this can be done in a week or two if you have a 'die hard' team as mine. We also have a group chat where we are all connected and accounted for. No time to waste time. We tell each other when the money comes in and we confirm it. You have your money in no time.

You have nothing to lose. With just #1,000, you can end all your struggles and be financially free. Don't be left behind.

Drop your number to join the whatsapp group or the team, or you if you have questions.

You can also have mine 0-7-0-5-9-5-5-2-9-1-3

menxer:
Sorry, I missed the "drop foot" part.

Hi Oweniwe
Just a few days ago, the thought of your moniker crossed my mind. Hope you're doing great?

It's nice to see you write again
Going to read that story tonight that I have a little free time...

Later.

GNLD to me is a Cult group.

The police is shedding dem.

They force membership on unsuspecting *patients* (what they call jews)

New intake are Never aware

Initiate you from 2500 to 15k

New patients always look healthy when they arrive

Assure yu of a better life.

And your biggest opponent is still food stuff

And landlord

Command yu to bring more patients

And there members never have more than one pair of shoes.

onward4life:
GNLD to me is a Cult group.
The police is shedding dem.
They force membership on unsuspecting *patients* (what they call jews)
New intake are Never aware
Initiate you from 2500 to 15k
New patients always look healthy when they arrive
Assure yu of a better life.
And your biggest opponent is still food stuff
And landlord
Command yu to bring more patients
And there members never have more than one pair of shoes.

one gal paid 15k here...
na desperation cause am cos she say she's tired of staying at home.

oweniwe:


one gal paid 15k here...

na desperation cause am cos she say she's tired of staying at home.

If yu know the gal in person pls go an quarrel with her. Even call police or Vio.

If she had used that money for learning hair dressing and salon eh. Especially this season.

One day she go employ and motivate more girls.

Beauty is good business in Nigeria yu know

onward4life:



If yu know the gal in person pls go an quarrel with her. Even call police or Vio.

If she had used that money for learning hair dressing and salon eh. Especially this season.

One day she go employ and motivate more girls.

Beauty is good business in Nigeria yu know

Bros, e nor concern me nah...

Its her money, her life...

Na friend girlfriend so.... to put mouth for their matter, abeg i nor fit