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I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. - Family - Nairaland

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I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by mindboggler: 4:34pm On Dec 27, 2016
These days, husband's phone is always ringing and each time he wants to take certain calls, he excuses himself and leaves the room. He takes his call anytime even in the middle of the night, the text messages never stop coming and quite frankly, I've had it up to here i'm about to loose it. I am a good woman I don't want to throw tantrums or make a mountain out of a molehill. It may be harmless calls and texts but i can't resist the urge not to go through his phone anymore.

An opportunity created itself when one day, he left for work and forgot his phone on the dresser. Eheeeeh, my opportunity has finally come. So I grabbed the phone and rushed into my bathroom to have my way with his phone.

I unlocked his phone but just stared at the home screen. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to tap on the text message icon neither could i bring myself to go through his phone logs.

What if there's another woman in my husband's life? Does he have other children outside? If I check his phone and find something unacceptable, should I confront him?
And if I confront him, will he be sorry or will we have a nasty crack in our marriage that will somehow lead to my exit from this marriage?

All these questions may all only be in my head, there may be nothing fishy going on. I love and trust my husband and I don't want anything that will put a tension in our relationship.

Am at a crossroads, should I go ahead and check his phone or should I just let sleeping dogs lie. I honestly don't need anything that will cause me heart break.
What should I do?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was still in her bathroom when she called to tell me this.
Every marriage should be as transparent as possible. Every couple should have nothing to hide from each other BUT this is not absolute.

For a fact, some people don't care if their phones are checked but a whole lot more people will not take it lightly if their phones are tampered with. That's why is a personal property so, unauthorised persons should back off.

In summary I tell her to step out of her bathroom and let her husband's phone be. If she is really bothered with the manner her husband uses his phone, then she should have had a heart to heart talk with him since last year. Better yet, she should occupy her mind and time with more productive things.

visit www.amaxonowu..com and
follow me on twitter @amaxonowu

1 Like

Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Mujaheeeden: 4:47pm On Dec 27, 2016
Insecurity destroys marriage
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by ojun50(m): 4:47pm On Dec 27, 2016
U are free to bt jst be ready to park out any time
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by antosly(m): 4:52pm On Dec 27, 2016
Ur a gud woman
Ur not gonna fix him all u need is to love him, pray for him and live the rest to God
God I'll definitely stop every foul play in ur marriage
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Nobody: 4:52pm On Dec 27, 2016
the last time I checked African men are entitled to more than one wife so don't bite more than you can chew

out of millions of single ladies that are praying day and night to have someone they can call their husband he chose you and paid your bride price and now you feels self entitlement and you think you can stifle him

continue
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by GoldenJAT(m): 4:55pm On Dec 27, 2016
Check d damn phone and satisfy ur curiosity.....it is good 4 us 2b confronted with d bitter truth at times,rather than pretend all is well....No1 shud av d monopoly of hurting anoda person so openly..CHECK D DAMN MESSAGES I REPEAT.

8 Likes

Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by crackhaus: 5:02pm On Dec 27, 2016
carmag:


the last time I checked African men are entitled to more than one wife so don't bit more than you can chew
They don't know.

The husband is even being discreet about it, yet she's not happy.
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Nobody: 5:22pm On Dec 27, 2016
crackhaus:

They don't know.

The husband is even being discreet about it, yet she's not happy.

just imagine, she is not complaining of maltreatment or lack of love from her man or even womanising but just to create trouble by searching his phone

women like trouble sha
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by crackhaus: 5:42pm On Dec 27, 2016
carmag:


just imagine, she is not complaining of maltreatment or lack of love from her man or even womanising but just to create trouble by searching his phone

women like trouble sha
She's gon find that thing she desperately wants to find.
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Gpopsicle(m): 3:35pm On Dec 28, 2016
well ma dear b ready to face anything u see.as regards transparency,I see nothing bad n my partner checking up my messages and all.. she lets me du d same.

however, when it becomes too much its like one s questioning one's trust and dt can b very parasitic n a relationship...not healthy at all..
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by byvan03: 5:09pm On Dec 28, 2016
Chai!!! So you can't pick his phone right in front of him and go through it, yet you are married to him? Nawao!

7 Likes

Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by thorpido(m): 5:25pm On Dec 28, 2016
^^^ if you can't just pick up his phone and use it(make a call,send a text or browse)then there's something wrong with your marriage in the first place.

5 Likes

Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by shaneroberts26: 5:36pm On Dec 28, 2016
Then get ready for a heart attack.
























Onye-akpala nwa'gu-aka na-odu.M'o di ndu ma-onwuru-anwu.
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Nobody: 6:27pm On Dec 28, 2016
You are still asking
Nah wah for these women who need special attention to look at their husband's phone.
Nareal wah!

1 Like

Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Nobody: 6:30pm On Dec 28, 2016
carmag:


just imagine, she is not complaining of maltreatment or lack of love from her man or even womanising but just to create trouble by searching his phone

women like trouble sha

Why should checking her husband's phone be a source of trouble

7 Likes

Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by MarkGeraldo(m): 6:59pm On Dec 28, 2016
lJust make ur own calls nah...ahn ahn!
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by kamcygirl(f): 7:25pm On Dec 28, 2016
can it be possible for me not to check my man phone? some women are too inquisitive to know wasup with their guy phone both the caller and the chat message, to me, it is not a big deal, that is joy and confidence of the oneness.
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Nobody: 8:37pm On Dec 28, 2016
Ujoan:


Why should checking her husband's phone be a source of trouble??m

A poligamist once told me that when he had one wife she always feel self entitlement but when he married the second one he became relived of so many troubles that the advantage is that they would rather fight themselves than to fight him so in that case he will be the mediator
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Nobody: 12:28am On Dec 29, 2016
carmag:


A poligamist once told me that when he had one wife she always feel self entitlement but when he married the second one he became relived of so many troubles that the advantage is that they would rather fight themselves than to fight him so in that case he will be the mediator

Strange that you think it's wise. . . . Marry a second wife so she can have someone else to 'fight with'!

Maybe your friend should have stayed single rather than ruin 2 women's lives. . . . And who knows the number of children involved! undecided

3 Likes

Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Divay22(f): 12:37am On Dec 29, 2016
Will you be able to handle the truth?
What about if it nothing just your mind playing a fast one on you,what then will you think about yourself?
It's better to confront him and let him clarify than for you spy through is phone.
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Nobody: 12:41am On Dec 29, 2016
Ujoan:


Strange that you think it's wise. . . . Marry a second wife so she can have someone else to 'fight with'!

Maybe your friend should have stayed single rather than ruin 2 women's lives. . . . And who knows the number of children involved! undecided

..did you say "ruin"

..as if women are forced to go into polygamy
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Nobody: 6:47am On Dec 29, 2016
carmag:


..did you say "ruin"

..as if women are forced to go into polygamy

Maybe the second wife made the choice, but did the first wife? Did she know her husband would eventually betray her and marry someone else?

Your friend is obviously not prepared for marriage, which is why he would think having his two wives fight each other is a victory for him.

So why get married if you are not prepared to weather the storm together with your wife?

He claimed his first wife felt 'entitled' when he was yet to marry another one. What does that even mean?

They both took an oath to belong to each other for the rest of their lives. What other sort of entitlement could she possibly ask for?

You know I used to think I was 'suffering' in my marriage, but the more I come to Nairaland and other social media, the more I appreciate God for blessing me with a truly rare breed for a husband. The things women have to suffer through in the hands of you men are simply outrageous.

Imagine claiming your wife felt entitled. . . . Before nko!
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by eyinjuege: 8:58am On Dec 29, 2016
Ujoan:


You know I used to think I was 'suffering' in my marriage, but the more I come to Nairaland and other social media, the more I appreciate God for blessing me with a truly rare breed for a husband. The things women have to suffer through in the hands of you men are simply outrageous.


NL being saving careers and marriages since 1800 BC. cheesy cheesy

Wise people know how to sift through the thrash on NL and pick up gems from it all.
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Chrisbet1981: 9:06am On Dec 29, 2016
Some comments here are unbelievable. Why will a couple not have access to each others phone? My dear poster, it is a fact that your husband is cheating on you hook.. Haaa! I can't imaging me leaving my wife presence to pick a call.. Or me restricting her from touching my phone. Intact sometimes I leave my phone for her if I don want disturbance. I even go out with my wife phone sometimes. This is marriage we talking about here. What happened to transparency?

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Nobody: 1:20pm On Dec 29, 2016
Ujoan:


Maybe the second wife made the choice, but did the first wife? Did she know her husband would eventually betray her and marry someone else?

Your friend is obviously not prepared for marriage, which is why he would think having his two wives fight each other is a victory for him.

So why get married if you are not prepared to weather the storm together with your wife?

He claimed his first wife felt 'entitled' when he was yet to marry another one. What does that even mean?

They both took an oath to belong to each other for the rest of their lives. What other sort of entitlement could she possibly ask for?

You know I used to think I was 'suffering' in my marriage, but the more I come to Nairaland and other social media, the more I appreciate God for blessing me with a truly rare breed for a husband. The things women have to suffer through in the hands of you men are simply outrageous.

Imagine claiming your wife felt entitled. . . . Before nko!

the man in question is a muslim from unset, you as a woman marring a muslim man would you say you don't know what to expect
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by crackhaus: 2:56pm On Dec 29, 2016
Ujoan:


Maybe the second wife made the choice, but did the first wife? Did she know her husband would eventually betray her and marry someone else?

Your friend is obviously not prepared for marriage, which is why he would think having his two wives fight each other is a victory for him.

So why get married if you are not prepared to weather the storm together with your wife?

He claimed his first wife felt 'entitled' when he was yet to marry another one. What does that even mean?

They both took an oath to belong to each other for the rest of their lives. What other sort of entitlement could she possibly ask for?

You know I used to think I was 'suffering' in my marriage, but the more I come to Nairaland and other social media, the more I appreciate God for blessing me with a truly rare breed for a husband. The things women have to suffer through in the hands of you men are simply outrageous.

Imagine claiming your wife felt entitled. . . . Before nko!
This explains a lot, and some things just made sense to me right now. grin
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Nobody: 4:16pm On Dec 29, 2016
crackhaus:

This explains a lot, and some things just made sense to me right now. grin

Of course, we all think the grass is always greener on the other side . . . . Very few of us realise early enough that it never is!
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Mumben(f): 8:49pm On Dec 29, 2016
Na wa oh, me dat always go tru my hubbys phone at will and he never gets offended by it. Never knew it was a big deal in some homes. If it were me, walahi i must check d phone cos his behaviour has aroused curiousity in me and i must get to d root of d matter. Who knows, it might even be dat d man is into some dirty deals. If u find out, u can stop him. PEACE.

1 Like

Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by zeb04(f): 9:11am On Dec 30, 2016
hahaha damn
Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by Viking007(m): 12:28pm On Dec 30, 2016
Chrisbet1981:
Some comments here are unbelievable. Why will a couple not have access to each others phone? My dear poster, it is a fact that your husband is cheating on you hook.. Haaa! I can't imaging me leaving my wife presence to pick a call.. Or me restricting her from touching my phone. Intact sometimes I leave my phone for her if I don want disturbance. I even go out with my wife phone sometimes. This is marriage we talking about here. What happened to transparency?

1 Like

Re: I Am Tempted To Check My Husband's Phone. by inemani: 11:11pm On Dec 30, 2016
Check that damn phone right away! If it was a man lamenting, the "don't-check-his-phone" crew up there would hammer him into checking yours. Where is transparency for love's sake?

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