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Why I Laughed - Politics - Nairaland

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Why I Laughed by Phranex(m): 4:49pm On Dec 29, 2016

I like to share a story with anyone seeing this right now. If you dont like reading long tales. Better scroll pass this. It might get long.

I went to a bank's atm today and my card got trapped. I visited the bank's CC unit to make such complaint. They however told me that CBN's directive was to perforate any trapped card and that the card holders can as well go to their bank branch to obtain a new one. This was ridiculous to me (they probably have their reasons though). So immediately, I imagined the number of persons that have had their cards trapped and perforated. My mind began to brood over the stress in getting a new card.

As it is customary for me, this was a problem and a tech solution was begging to be built. Instantly, i decided i needed to solve this problem.

As i listened keenly to the CC agent, my mind took a journey into the future. I saw myself using an ATM machine without an ATM CARD. This was unbelievable, simply preposterous and evidently impossible (esp in Africa). But, for me, IMPOSSIBLE is NONSENSE and IMPOSSIBLE actually means IT WOULD TAKE A GREAT DEAL OF EFFORT to me.

Now that I saw that was possible, my mind began to find ways to make it possible. and alas,


I had an epiphany and an algorithm was before my very eyes. Just then,the 2 edges of my lips separated further so that i would appear to smile. In other not to be too excited, I asked the CC if there was a CBN bank policy that disallows my algorithm (I didnt tell her. I just gave her a scenario) from happening. My excitement reached climax when she said NO

The CC agent finished talking looking bewildered by my sudden smile.


how was i to tell her that i found a solution?

How was i to say that future financial transactions would be cashless and cardless?

How was I to explain this epiphany i got?

The distance from the CC unit to the bank exit door was only few centimeters apart but it seemed like I was journeying round the world in 80 days.

I was so excited. In my euphoria, i had thought of how i would start writing some codes. How i would call one or two and share this with them. In fact, I had already built a team in my head. I already knew who would be in the team.

I got to the security door and pressed the green button. While the other half of the security door was yet to open, i thought of how convenient this system would be. The smile had refused to wear off. It was just too cool.

CASHLESS AND CARDLESS system of payment ? isnt something you find everyday.

The other half of the security door opened and BINGO. That was when it happened.

I began to laugh hysterically.

People around thought I was losing it. I laughed so hard, i hurt my ribs.


I'll tell ya.

As the other half opened, I was greeted by the humid air and scorching sun. Somehow, i suddenly realized that the bank had some AC. And that must have given me the feel that made me think the way i did.

As the other half opened, Reality seemed to have pressed a "FACTORY RESET" button on me. I was seeing BLACK PEOPLE (Africans/Nigerians) and they were supposed to be the FIRST users of this technology.

Then I laughed.

I laughed because I realized Nigerians still live as though this was 1980 and as such are not receptive to technology especially if it is new and was born in their homeland OR become receptive only when everyone else is using it. (Nigerian: Ok, the idea is good. But Nna, how many persons dey do cashless and cardless for other countries?)

I laughed because i was seeing 2030 in 2016 and I was the only one seeing it and only a few would probably see it too. (NIgerian: My friend,you better wake up oo.. even 2017 is far.... You are talking 2030. u wan kill yourself?)

I laughed because despite several platforms that gives us the opportunity to go CASHLESS. We still choose the old-fashioned way. (Nigerian: is it your old-fashion? i like the fashion like that.)

I laughed because NIgerians have not adopted the CASHLESS system of payment.
How then were they going to understand CARDLESS system of payment?. (NIgerian: ki lo de, is it you that think pass sef?)

I laughed because the Nigerian financial eco-system made me look foolish. (NIgerian: You think say you get sense b4? na naija u dey ooo.. think like a true nija)

And i probably laughed at my foolishness. (Nigerian: Its good, you have come back to your senses)

My laughter turned sour and i began to look into the heavens as if to ask THE CREATOR why he made me share nationality with Nigerians and Race with Africans?
.....And he lived happily ever after.


ISBN: 235-877-999-89
Re: Why I Laughed by INTROVERT(f): 4:52pm On Dec 29, 2016
Nice story. Doesn't still stop you from implementing your ideas.
Re: Why I Laughed by kilode100(f): 4:53pm On Dec 29, 2016

You need serious banging aswear. When was the last time you did the horse riding thing?
Re: Why I Laughed by Phranex(m): 4:58pm On Dec 29, 2016

You need serious banging aswear. When was the last time you did the horse riding thing?

What is horse riding?
Re: Why I Laughed by vitalisdiho(m): 4:59pm On Dec 29, 2016
Good one
Re: Why I Laughed by kilode100(f): 5:02pm On Dec 29, 2016

What is horse riding?

Use your imagination Na.Kids are around and might stumble upon this chat.
Re: Why I Laughed by Phranex(m): 7:44pm On Dec 29, 2016

Use your imagination Na.Kids are around and might stumble upon this chat.

Which of them u mean?

I had to google. Was tired of thinking? This puzzle is e gi di gan

Re: Why I Laughed by boiz2men(m): 4:52pm On May 14, 2017

You need serious banging aswear. When was the last time you did the horse riding thing?

chai.. dude didnt get the light u were giving him...... can we go horse riding?

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