Hi, I have a story idea and i would love a collaboration on it. Can someone help?
Fikfanuel, ozila, RemenZack, bibijay123


The writing prompt goes like this:

A patient in a mental hospital encounters a malevolent ghost, but nobody believes her.

How did she encounter this entity? She was a co-patient with another deranged patient who suddenly dies and the dead co-patient's ghost/demon strives to inhabit this our heroine's body.

Can we develop this story unabashed?

Fikfanuel, ozila, RemenZack, bibijay123 , ANYONE PLZZZZ

Okay, let's give it a try.

Thepasserby:
Okay, let's give it a try.

Alright, Thankie....

Seriously, How do we start.

what areas should we each take on the story.

the General Plot and stuff?

Chapter one should give a general intro to the whole set up. If you want it to be lengthy, we can start by telling them how she got to the hospital.

I will suggest you kick start the story. I can draft out something inform of a table of content that can guide us both.

ok.....

I have this about 5 mins ago

Maybe we should call it Chapter One

“ I killed my husband “, she said “I could have shot a nice hole via his moldy brains cause he’s stupid”.
“I am stupid too. I should do a nice job on him, could have with the bullets. Why the fire? Why the f.ucking Fire. Why the whole shit? The bastards, the ones that keep talking forever in the deep well outside kept urging me to do it . I chose to roast him instead. He deserved it. They say my husband needs to die. He bleeped our daughter for Chris sake. I can’t live with that”

The witness DPO narrated how the young woman came in that night deranged.

A young woman bursts into the central police station in the roundabout axis of Eke Amawbia at quarter past 3 in the morning panting like a rat caught in a cat’s grip. Her boobs heaved with careless abandon because they were not in a bra. Two points provocatively pressed against the silk blouse covering them.
“Protect me” she said.”Please protect me, you’ve got to”. She cried.
“Well, we would do our best, wont we?” Constable Onovo said and casually took a sip from the coke can on the vinyl leather top desk, he leaned on, and which was cluttered with stamps of files and an obsolete Dell computer decked in dust and should have been shipped to Ghana as second hand.
“Now tell us from who or what we are protecting you from”.
His eyes ran slowly over the woman.
“The Devil’s sibling. He’s dead but they…….they raised him and now he’s after me. I know he is cos I caught him on my side mirror on driving down here”. Then she began to laugh- cackle really and burst into sobs. She dropped her mobile and car keys in front of her. She was really hysterical.

With one more, somewhat perplexed look at the woman, Onovo waved forward Sergeant Nnanna, who had looked around at once when he heard the woman’s hysterical voice. Nnanna was listening to a burly man tell, with preternatural calmness, how he had knocked down a man who he thought was drunk and with a gun stuck into his pants on Ziks Avenue.

“I’m not crazy. You’ve to believe me. They had raised him…….I had him on the roof of my car.” She looked about her as if trying to make sure whatever that had drove her panting down here wasn’t in the room. A small amount of light from the security lamps outside spilled via the glazed glass door via which she barged in.
The station's General Room, of course, was deserted except for the other policeman and the burly man who had turned toward her, studied her calmly for a moment, then turned back to face the policeman he was talking to.

“He had looked me straight in the eye. I could’ve died…..help me please!” she shrieked.

Constable Onovo had noticed a small dark smear on her right cheek. Could be blood. He pondered. She was a petite, pretty even with her sweating and breathing coming in quick pants. He pegged her age in the early thirties.
Nice boobs. Well proportioned but not too big. And those model legs could sure kill. Her skin, though smudged with some dirt, was the color of a fully ripped mango reddened at some places especially around the knees. She had decent clothes to pass for a sane person other than the nervous wreck she was now. She had come in bare footed.

“It was some ritual or something?” she repeated.” They had raised him……”
“Calm down lady. Sit down” Onovo said and brought out a plastic white chair from behind his desk. He helped the lady to sit.” Can I get you something? There’s a coke in the fridge”

“He was so real and-”.She said in a low moaning voice.

So, My original idea for her been in the mental hospital was that she killed her Husband....on self defence, as the Lawyers put it.

They had her locked up on insanity plea instead of the Death penalty. The presiding Judge was female and her defence lawyer was also female (so it was feminist gang up)

Remeber that she burned her sleeping husband and the whole house becos he had incest with her 8 year old daughter. she also insisted that voices in the well told her to murder her husband. could it be a ploy for the insanity plea. did she consult with her lawyer before she told the police that.

I dont know.....

Just a reason for her being locked up

kazuna:
ok.....

I have this about 5 mins ago

Maybe we should call it Chapter One

“ I killed my husband “, she said “I could have shot a nice hole via his moldy brains cause he’s stupid”.
“I am stupid too. I should do a nice job on him, could have with the bullets. Why the fire? Why the f.ucking Fire. Why the whole shit? The bastards, the ones that keep talking forever in the deep well outside kept urging me to do it . I chose to roast him instead. He deserved it. They say my husband needs to die. He bleeped our daughter for Chris sake. I can’t live with that”

The witness DPO narrated how the young woman came in that night deranged.

A young woman bursts into the central police station in the roundabout axis of Eke Amawbia at quarter past 3 in the morning panting like a rat caught in a cat’s grip. Her boobs heaved with careless abandon because they were not in a bra. Two points provocatively pressed against the silk blouse covering them.
“Protect me” she said.”Please protect me, you’ve got to”. She cried.
“Well, we would do our best, wont we?” Constable Onovo said and casually took a sip from the coke can on the vinyl leather top desk, he leaned on, and which was cluttered with stamps of files and an obsolete Dell computer decked in dust and should have been shipped to Ghana as second hand.
“Now tell us from who or what we are protecting you from”.
His eyes ran slowly over the woman.
“The Devil’s sibling. He’s dead but they…….they raised him and now he’s after me. I know he is cos I caught him on my side mirror on driving down here”. Then she began to laugh- cackle really and burst into sobs. She dropped her mobile and car keys in front of her. She was really hysterical.
With one more, somewhat perplexed look at the woman, Onovo waved forward Sergeant Nnanna, who had looked around at once when he heard the woman’s hysterical voice. Nnanna was listening to a burly man tell, with preternatural calmness, how he had knocked down a man who he thought was drunk and with a gun stuck into his pants on Ziks Avenue.

“I’m not crazy. You’ve to believe me. They had raised him…….I had him on the roof of my car.” She looked about her as if trying to make sure whatever that had drove her panting down here wasn’t in the room. A small amount of light from the security lamps outside spilled via the glazed glass door via which she barged in. The station, of course, was deserted except for the other policeman and the burly man who had turned toward her, studied her calmly for a moment, then turned back to face the policeman he was talking to.

“He had looked me straight in the eye. I could’ve died…..help me please!” she shrieked.

Constable Onovo had noticed a small dark smear on her right cheek. Could be blood. He pondered. She was a petite, pretty even with her sweating and breathing coming in quick pants. He pegged her age in the early thirties.
Nice boobs. Well proportioned but not too big. And those model legs could sure kill. Her skin, though smudged with some dirt, was the color of a fully ripped mango reddened at some places especially around the knees. She had decent clothes to pass for a sane person other than the nervous wreck she was now. She had come in bare footed.

“It was some ritual or something?” she repeated.” They had raised him……”
“Calm down lady. Sit down” Onovo said and brought out a plastic white chair from behind his desk. He helped the lady to sit.” Can I get you something? There’s a coke in the fridge”

“He was so real and-”.She said in a low moaning voice.

okay, now I get it, you lost your muse and don't know how to continue right?

Here is what we would do. Instead of writing with you, let me help keep your muse intact.

For the next plot, try to answer these questions.

What did she write in her statement at the police station, how did she say it?

She should sleep over at the station and then have a dream after which she will wake everyone up.

She should start hallucinating in the morning and I think that should lead us to the hospital.

kazuna:
So, My original idea for her been in the mental hospital was that she killed her Husband....on self defence, as the Lawyers put it.

They had her locked up on insanity plea instead of the Death penalty. The presiding Judge was female and her defence lawyer was also female (so it was feminist gang up)

Remeber that she burned her sleeping husband and the whole house becos he had incest with her 8 year old daughter. she also insisted that voices in the well told her to murder her husband. could it be a ploy for the insanity plea. did she consult with her lawyer before she told the police that.

I dont know.....

Just a reason for her being locked up

is it a novel or a short story?

Thepasserby:


okay, now I get it, you lost your muse and don't know how to continue right?

Here is what we would do. Instead of writing with you, let me help keep your muse intact.

For the next plot, try to answer these questions.

What did she write in her statement at the police station, how did she say it?

She should sleep over at the station and then have a dream after which she will wake everyone up.

She should start hallucinating in the morning and I think that should lead us to the hospital.

I cant write it alone

So she wont have a trial before being confined to a Mental hospital? Do We need to detail events that lead to the confinement or should the whole plot focus just on her attempts to resist the possession while in the mental cell?

Thepasserby:


is it a novel or a short story?

Let's say a 50+ pages

kazuna:


I cant write it alone

So she wont have a trial before being confined to a Mental hospital? Do We need to detail events that lead to the confinement or should the whole plot focus just on her attempts to resist the possession while in the mental cell?

you can surely write it alone but if a deadline is against then you sure could use some help.

Just write, don't look for a perfect job. After writing, re-write and you are good to go.

With the plot on ground, we could draft out about a 100+ pages.

Inasmuch as the reader should not be spoon fed, we need to be careful not to confuse the reader.

Let's see what I can come up with in 24hrs time.

kazuna:
Hi, I have a story idea and i would love a collaboration on it. Can someone help?
Fikfanuel, ozila, RemenZack, bibijay123


The writing prompt goes like this:

A patient in a mental hospital encounters a malevolent ghost, but nobody believes her.

How did she encounter this entity? She was a co-patient with another deranged patient who suddenly dies and the dead co-patient's ghost/demon strives to inhabit this our heroine's body.

Can we develop this story unabashed?

Fikfanuel, ozila, RemenZack, bibijay123 , ANYONE PLZZZZ

hello. I like the story idea and i can already feel goosebumps on my body. I think Ozila is the guy you need because he has written so many stories like this.

Here is what I was able to cook up. I have a lot to type but am handicapped phone-wise at the moment.


"When I entered the room and saw my husband moaning on our helpless daughter, I felt so bad and disappointed at how inhuman he had become" She narrated the whole incident to Nnanna who was taking her statement.

"I am not mad. The verdict was passed and Cankor notified me of my husband's judgement."

"Wait a minute, who is Cankor?" Onovo interrupted the session.

"Cankor is the leader of the cult that hold their meeting in the well. She is a very good and wonderful friend. She died while we were in JSS 3, and had been my guardian angel since then."

When my boys took her statement, we didn't get a clear picture of what she was saying until we found out from her neighbors that she roasted her husband the night before and also claimed that his spirit was after her.
The DPO concluded as he left the witness box.

A dead silence took over the whole courtroom as the lawyers consulted each other.

"They are here again, please save me. Cankor and the whole voices in the well just arrived." She screamed at the top of her voice...

@thepasserby, this is so evil....

delighted..


You know, can you take over the pre-cell events and i will take on the cell events (of course, with your ideas)

this x good

It will be an honor

CONTACT me privately on 88 i think u are reasoning the same way i am..chat me up on whatsapp..we could meet to do something great

nice one

Ok, my part as we discussd

The Cell events


Nnewi Women Penitiary was a huge rambling place. It consist of four adjacent, four-story buildings in a quadrangle. Concrete white and ugly. Small Heavily barred windows pockmarked each building.
By the time Elizabeth was brought into the compound by two armed hefty women chewing gum. The sun had set behind one of the buildings marked Administration block. The sun had set on her life as a free woman. No great loss . she thought. No great loss.

She went through the perfunctionary new entrant checks and biometrics and was handed a hospital blue uniform by a plumb woman in nurse overalls. The woman said her name was Nneka, a widow and offered a slightly deprecatory smile. She lead her, with the hefty guards in tow into a brightly lit corridor. Iron grill cells were on either side.

Most of the inmates caught her eyes and made faces. Some where asleep and snored like their sinuses were lined with putty.

"If you behave and treat everyone with respect, you would stay out of trouble mostly. " Nneka lectured.

As they moved, She caught a wiff of the plump nurse's body odour. A smell that was at once discomforting and disqueitly alluring at the same time. The smell of her mother's church-meeting damask. Moth ball odour. Mother did not bother showing up in court all through her ordeal. Mother, instead, wrote a puritannial letter, condemning her actions and wishing JEsus on her life. Mother was never strong.

kazuna:
Ok, my part as we discussd

The Cell events


Nnewi Women Penitiary was a huge rambling place. It consist of four adjacent, four-story buildings in a quadrangle. Concrete white and ugly. Small Heavily barred windows pockmarked each building.
By the time Elizabeth was brought into the compound by two armed hefty women chewing gum. The sun had set behind one of the buildings marked Administration block. The sun had set on her life as a free woman. No great loss . she thought. No great loss.

She went through the perfunctionary new entrant checks and biometrics and was handed a hospital blue uniform by a plumb woman in nurse overalls. The woman said her name was Nneka, a widow and offered a slightly deprecatory smile. She lead her, with the hefty guards in tow into a brightly lit corridor. Iron grill cells were on either side.

Most of the inmates caught her eyes and made faces. Some where asleep and snored like their sinuses were lined with putty.

"If you behave and treat everyone with respect, you would stay out of trouble mostly. " Nneka lectured.

As they moved, She caught a wiff of the plump nurse's body odour. A smell that was at once discomforting and disqueitly alluring at the same time. The smell of her mother's church-meeting damask. Moth ball odour. Mother did not bother showing up in court all through her ordeal. Mother, instead, wrote a puritannial letter, condemning her actions and wishing JEsus on her life. Mother was never strong.

wow. Please give me just a week and I will get back to you. Thanks

Truly, you guys are super amazing!!!

The Wardens Shived her into a constricted space, her new cell which was the last in a row of 15 cell grids. There was no opposite cell but a massive steel pipe that craawled from the celing to the underlying floor below. It hummed with the tenacity of a buzzing bee.

"I think all of u gurls in this centre are 2 lucky. the system x not crowded yet. Everyone has got her own space, even a standard issue mattress" Nneka said popping a pill into a mouth. She smiled again at the new prisoner when she noticed Eliza narrowing her focus on the tiny drug container in her palm. NNeka was struck once gain by the prisoner's casual yet elegant handsomeness. If she had been the judge, she would have insisted on the death penalty than confining this pretty head with the lunatics. but then someone who incinerated her perv husband, You might say x a bit insane. Just a tiny bit. Nneka thought and crunched her tiny pill.

"Up at jos, where this kind of institution also exists, the girls are packed super tight like sardines. Both the Loons and the goons and the pretty sane ones." The Nurse warden continue slowly running her attentive eyes on Eliza as she undressed into her institutution garb.

"this place will give u a lot of time to think, once you learn how to shut out the din. And perhaps someday We will, I will recommend the centre to tap into your Nursing expertise."

All Eliza could do was nod curtly as the plumb woman jitter about in her attempt to be friendly. she handed her old clothes to the wardens. The two had been as silent as trapped air all throughout the plumb woman's reverie but still stern amd a tad hostile nonetheless.

Eliza'eyes had a quick scan of her new living space. The cell has a relatively new WC and a small bed. It was windowless and reeked of days old urine. A battery of iron bars separated her cell from the other room whose occupant lay as still as a cadaver and her bony back to them. The occupant's issued gown clung to her body frame like a second skin. Eliza could count her ribs and shivered slightly as her eyes rested on the acutely jutting scapulas. Someone cant be this emaciated and in prison and insane. She thought.

"You will get to adjust. Infact, You must. All around you are crazy bitches" Nneka said, punctuating the air with her pudgy index fingers.

"You're not crazy. I can tell. I really liked what you did to that bastard." She smiled, a beatific smile, and turned on her heels as the hefty wardens slammed the iron grill to Eliza's cell.

Thepasserby:
Here is what I was able to cook up. I have a lot to type but am handicapped phone-wise at the moment.


"When I entered the room and saw my husband moaning on our helpless daughter, I felt so bad and disappointed at how inhuman he had become" She narrated the whole incident to Nnanna who was taking her statement.

"I am not mad. The verdict was passed and Cankor notified me of my husband's judgement."

"Wait a minute, who is Cankor?" Onovo interrupted the session.

"Cankor is the leader of the cult that hold their meeting in the well. She is a very good and wonderful friend. She died while we were in JSS 3, and had been my guardian angel since then."

When my boys took her statement, we didn't get a clear picture of what she was saying until we found out from her neighbors that she roasted her husband the night before and also claimed that his spirit was after her.
The DPO concluded as he left the witness box.

A dead silence took over the whole courtroom as the lawyers consulted each other.

"They are here again, please save me. Cankor and the whole voices in the well just arrived." She screamed at the top of her voice...

The courtroom was sent into a pandemonium. The witnesses ran tjrought the available exits like rats escaping a wild fire. The policemen became more alert and stood with mixed expression of fear and courage rushing through their veins. "They are here again", she yelled.

"Keep quiet" came a voice from the door. It was Onovo.

"Sir, please pardon her, I think we have a case of insanity here. She is still recovering from the shock of what had happened."

"In that case, we will have to adjourn the case until she is back to her senses." The judge uttered as she took her leave.

"I swear sir, I am not mad. My husband deserved the punishment. Cankor is never wrong. She always speaks the truth. If I have my way, I will do it again and again and again. My husband was a hero, he died like one. He died singing my name to the rhythm of the flames, he died trying to break open the door. I am not mad." She reached out to get Onovo's pistol.
There was a brief struggle between the duo and then she became victorious. Onovo laid helpless on the floor as she gained possession of the gun. She tried to fire it but it was empty.

"Cankor, there is no bullet in it, what should I do next?" She queried and gave a hostile laughter like someone possessed by an evil spirit. She threw the gun away and started moving her boy to no music in particular. The other police men present surrounded her and she was sedated. There was dead silence in the courtroom then like a dragon she arose once more, this time more violent and headed straight for the door.

"Get her, get her." Shouted the DPO. Before she could a bit far, she was knocked down by the effect of the sedative she had earlier resisted. She laid down as mute as a dead man.

"Onovo, please try to keep your pistol in tack. You wont be this lucky the next time." The DPO warned as he handed over the gun to its owner.

"Take her back to the station" the DPO added almost immediately.

"Oga, I wan chop o" cried the woman from the cell.

"You dey craze, shebi you say you don mad, stupid woman. Na inside there you go die today. " shouted the sergeant on duty.

A sound was heard, followed by the crashing of things, the lady pulled down the gate of the cell and headed straight for the exit. There was blood rushing from her head. She must have hit it so hard on the door that it bled.

"Chineke! How you take comot?" Exclaimed the sergeant. "All units attention, all units attention, whisky is about to vanish, I repeat, whisky is about to vanish" the sergeant spoke into the walkie talkie on the canter.

"I wan go chop. Shebi you no wan give me food? Cankor came and opened the door for me and now he has asked me to eat you up."

"Madam abeg no vex, I no know say you serious. Abeg madam, no be my fault. If you wan chop, make I go buy you correct chicken. See my body, meat no dey. Even frog better pass me. Abeg madam. Cried the sergeant who has let out a hot liquid from his bowels.

She kept advancing closer and the sergeant was rescued by the patrol team that came in to sign out for the day.

"Una sure say this one na human being?" Queried constable Chidi. "Abeg o, me na food I come find for here no be say na make one witch come kill me o." She added.

The DPO was alerted concerning her case and a court warrant was issued for her to be transferred to a psychiatric hospital.

Do me a favor, please check what I have written, does it rhyme with what you have in mind? The son of man is terribly busy these days.

Yes, I like how she was really pretending insane.....

I like it.

Thankie

kazuna:
Yes, I like how she was really pretending insane.....

I like it.

Thankie

OK, thanks for the opportunity, please adapt it to whatsoever you want. Its yours now. I will be glad if I can publish a copy of the work on storried.com

Thepasserby:


OK, thanks for the opportunity, please adapt it to whatsoever you want. Its yours now. I will be glad if I can publish a copy of the work on storried.com

sure...

OK... A continuation of the Cell Events.......


Chapter four

For about two minutes, she stood still, her ears registering the retreating footsteps of the wardens. The first thought that filtered into her mind as the footsteps deflated into a din, was how to jail break.
The thought was delicious and was quickly sour the sooner she caught movt in the next cell. The cadaver had risen and was now staring fixedly at her.

At first, Eliza wanted to mutter some form of greeting but decided against it. The woman across ix definitely catatonic why bother wt any form of acknowlegdement, she reasoned. She pushed herself onto the tiny bed, back against the wall and her knees drawn up her small breasts. She deliberatly averted her eyes from the woman opposite.

"CHUUUUUUUEEEEEEEWWW"

Shit. Here we go. Eliza sighed.

"You can always use the water from the WC to quench ur thirst. I do it all the time" The apparition across said . Her voice mirthless and coarse.

At this, Eliza pushed her knees further into her chest, her face drawn in a rictus of repulsion as she was forced to look at the woman opposite. she convinced herself to relax, this is a mental asylum, pychosis is the disease here.

The woman leaped from her bunk like Jet Li in a ganster show and for a while there, seemed suspended in the forever gelid universe of her small cell, her gown hung loose and fragile like old newspaper chasing the wind. Then she landed against the iron bars separating her room from Eliza's and stuck out her thumbs. She was double jointed . She wriggled them at odd angles that defied all the laws of physics and biology.

"Wetin, land you here? your story must be.... Your case must be slimier than your mother's menses" She said. Her eyes shiny and reddened at the corners like a chicken's cloaca.

"I am Non of your business" Eliza growled at her and averted her eyes again.
The woman was tall, a broomstick and mildly imposing. Her eyes were deep set and severe and they darted hungrily over her new cell mate.
" Have they played with you yet? the Wardens? The fat toad is especially fond of pretty sluts like you?" She laughed, again mirthless, and as she did her skin was stretched tightly across her face revealing the sinuous curves of her skull.

"The last olodo here, slashed her wrists. I told her to do so instead of having that fat toad de-womanize her. You are not mad really, i can smell it. Dear Jesus. Your body is still clean for that. Look at those cups."

"Talk to me once more and i will have your miserable tongue cut off?" Elizabeth threatened the broomstick.

"Story for the stupid gods" The broomstick laughed, high pitched and then spat thick phlegm into Eliza's cell.
A mischievous grin then lightened her lean face. It was the brilliant face of a tout about to set a shop alight.

"I am Ngozi. I killed my three babies. Adorable bastards they are" she said this as casual as a woman at the hair salon.

...Continuation of the cell events____________







Eliza struggled to keep her eyes open as she got off her bed. Her knees wavered a little, but she managed to stand. Gently, she waddled over to the bathroom. Relief coursed through her body as she shut the bathroom door and made her way back to the mattress.
Eliza wondered lazily as she picked up her blanket, if every girl was like her, always waking up for a number one at exactly twelve midnight. She paused halfway on the bed and glanced towards the window, pondering whether she'd just noticed a movement out of the corner of her eyes.
It was dark and silent outside. Too silent for her liking though. It was now past twelve, which meant, it was Christmas day already and there was supposed to be a soft tune playing to her ears. At least, Bukky, her classmate staying in the next compound had Christmas lights already fixed in her room, and there was a quartet of tunes attached to it.
The moon was probably elsewhere tonight, she thought. Her joints ached as she laid back on the bed, facing the window this time.
Eliza soon felt herself drifting off again. A shape appeared at the window again, and this time her eyes flicked wide open. She was sure she saw something. But, it disappeared as soon as she tried to focus on it. Well, whatever it was, she was going to find out right now.
She carefully moved her pink panther blanket aside, and quietly tiptoed to the window side.
Eliza's heart skipped a beat when she saw an irregular unmoving shape standing some feet away. She'd been right all along. But, she'd hoped it was imaginary, maybe a bird, leaf. By God, her guesses were what any little girl her age would think of. What was this? A changeling?
Opposite Eliza, the headless humanlike form in shiny white apparel moved.
Eliza, gripped the handle of the window with one shaky hand, but returned it to her wet crotch helplessly. She had no doubt she had peed on herself.
When the apparition got within a feet of her window it stopped. Eliza could see it clearly now. It had a head, actually, or more like a black mask with the widest nostrils she'd ever seen. The eyes were as that of a frog, bulging. God, she thought... it was opening its mouth!
Terror struck Eliza's chest as she saw the green forked tongue, and fangs. Suddenly, she felt her vision blurring gradually as her knee bucked underneath her. She let out a scream as she fell, and heard the creature's atavistic voice calling her name. But she was too far gone to care.
Eliza woke with a start. There was a chill she couldn't explain filling up all the crevices in her. It soaked through her hair, through her skin, through her soul... imploring her to open her eyes. She managed to open them, and saw herself in a doorless fluorescent lit room with dirty white walls.
Suddenly a hand reached out of the ceiling to grab her and she screamed helplessly, coughing out water. She fought the hand until it vanished. Several holes cracked open in each corner of the room, oozing fast flowing water.
"What is happening? What's happening to me!?" Eliza shouted, glancing up at the hole the hand left behind in the ceiling.
New holes opened up in the walls, bringing more water. To Eliza's utmost horror, the water rose to her breasts.
"Help! Help!" She yelled, shivering with renewed tenacity. She tried yelling again, but found her voice had gone. Her dentine framework clattered agonisingly like the battle between Samson and the Philistines.
A rope dropped from the hole in the ceiling, and immediately Eliza grabbed it, she was pulled up. Instinctively, she braced for impact with the ceiling.
Eliza coughed painfully as her vision cleared and she fully recognised her father's long face. She soon realised she was inside her parents bathroom, their bathtub to be more precise. Her father followed her glances, grinned and held out a dry towel for her.
Eliza noticed her mother standing at the doorway, her hands were resting on a bicycle.
"You asked me to surprise you, sweetie." Father said.
"Is the bicycle for me?" Eliza asked hoarsely, deep down she already knew the answer.
"Yes, darling. You could've gotten it earlier, but you fainted. Was my mask that scary?"

The sting in Eliza's fingers brought her out of the reverie. She had turned and turned the shower tap until her fingers burned. She thought of how her body always trembled in anticipation of a cold nightcap. It'd become a ritual for her. Ever since that night she'd fainted and woken up in her parent's bathtub whilst still dressed in her pyjamas, she'd become addicted to cold water. There was something about the way it made her feel. Well, she'd have to go pump water into the tank now. The new thought made her cringe, she hated going out in the dark of late.
Grow a ball, she told herself and she boldly stepped out of the bathroom. She found the robe stand and slipped into one and started down the hall barefooted.
Midway, Eliza heard a line off an old Dr. Victor Olaiya record playing somewhere in the house. A smile tilted her lips, and she made an effort to move to the highlife beats as she moved on. She descended down the staircase twitching her footsteps to the trumpeteer's beats and managed to heave a rippling twerk every now and then.
A few steps from level ground she saw a picture of a young man carrying a younger version of her hanging on the wall next her.
"Fred," Eliza whispered softly.
She paused and caressed the monochrome memory lovingly, shutting her eyes to sync with the resurfacing emotions.
"Liza...."
Eliza turned around frantically with her eyes wide opened, as she'd heard her name. She knew that voice. She took no notice of the picture as it slipped through her fingers and shattered it glass shelter. She was frozen with fear of the figure standing at the top of the staircase.
Fred, her dead husband was back again. Only this time, he was looking as cute as hell. His skin was normal, not the usual charred Fred she was used to seeing.
"I know you miss me, baby." He said as he descended towards her, revealing those perfect ivory white teeth of his.
Eliza's heart skipped, and she backed down a step. God, how could he be so irressistible and, fearsome at the same time, she thought.
"Mummy."
Eliza turned around instantly. She could decipher her daughter's voice anytime anywhere.
"Blessing!?" Eliza cried in despair.
"Mummy, you don't look to good?" Blessing said in her most polite voice.
"Aren't you happy to see me?"
Eliza felt her heart turn to stone inside her chest. She tried to clutch it, but her hands were suddenly heavy.
"Mum, come down and hug me," Blessing said, a worrying look had crept into her eyes.
"I can't," Eliza sobbed. She tried to turn her neck, but it wouldn't budge. She felt Fred's breath heavy on her neck. She tried to arch her neck backwards but her muscles felt strange.
"You don't deserve her, Eliza. She's the sweetest thing I've ever seen. And you were always jealous of her. Always," Fred muttered.
Eliza felt needed strength returning her body, and made an attempt to turn. But Fred had pushed her already, and she landed next to Blessing, moaning lifelessly.
A new tune was playing now, Eliza noticed feverishly; a christmas one. The type she'd have loved on a windy harmattan night. Silent Night.

The record was playing closer to Eliza's ears now. She open her eyes and shut them immediately she saw the frail figure looming above her. The malnourished grey haired creature next door was touching her.
Only the rib cage bars of their respective prison home seperated them, yet somehow, she was now next to the Ngozi's cage, handing her the chance to feast on her.
Eliza cringed as Ngozi's fingers caressed her face as she sang. Her voice was angelic. Eliza half opened her eyes again and scanned around. She spotted the thick nurse warden that brought her in earlier spying on them. The nurse lifted an upright finger to her mouth.
Eliza wondered how she'd ended up next to Ngozi's cage. She remembered dozing off after Ngozi tried coercing her into a chat earlier.
Eliza scanned around more and noticed black figures on the ground in Ngozi's cage, advancing. Shadows.
They moved closer, slowly, and sprang. Six hairy hands appeared and pulled the lady away. Eliza shot up quickly and moved back to her bed. Ngozi gave one hell of a crazy scream that had the lights flickering for a while, prompting Eliza's hands to her ears. She saw the guards were holding Ngozi even more tightly now.
The thick nurse warden who seemed like the head entered with a syringe showcasing a white liquid within it. She smiled evilly in Eliza's direction before burying the needle in Ngozi's neck.
Within five seconds Ngozi slumped. The head nurse moved out and came to Eliza's cage. She unlocked it, left the door ajar and turned around.
"Bring her to me!" She yelled. Her steps echoed down the hall as she moved off with surprising speed.

kazuna:


I cant write it alone

So she wont have a trial before being confined to a Mental hospital? Do We need to detail events that lead to the confinement or should the whole plot focus just on her attempts to resist the possession while in the mental cell?

I'm sorry for saying dis, but with d little I have seen, ur story have little element of the movie NIGHT MARE AT ELM STREET. I think d idea behind ur story is really cool. You just need to expand on d plots. I'd suggest u watch d movie I just mentioned and other movies dat can help u generate ideas. Trust me this story have potentials. Would have love to help expand it too but I'm occupied at d moment

Apollux:

I'm sorry for saying dis, but with d little I have seen, ur story have little element of the movie NIGHT MARE AT ELM STREET. I think d idea behind ur story is really cool. You just need to expand on d plots. I'd suggest u watch d movie I just mentioned and other movies dat can help u generate ideas. Trust me this story have potentials. Would have love to help expand it too but I'm occupied at d moment

The funniest thang is that i ve not seen this film....YET 50% of people that i show this thread kept referring the film.

Okay, Me start to download the damm film

Thankie really....

I am working on a full edit already. with all the input from Greeneyes, thepasserby.......Hectic job. But I promised myself to get my very own first horror collabo on kobobooks. Its a new year resolve.