Supposing the option were available, would you get a professional background check on a partner you could potentially see yourself getting married to?

No, if you work with the SSS, they may do that for you sha.

1bkaye:
Supposing the option were available, would you get a professional background check on a partner you could potentially see yourself getting married to?

Interesting question....I actually did that before. But then again, he wasn't who God ordained for me.I had "0" trust & was always suspicious. It about drove me crazy...Get in a relationship that isn't of God...& it will cause u to do things u never thought u would do. Now that's not to say that I wouldn't do some research on a potential future partner. That's one of the reasons for courtship. But I don't expect to have to hire a Private Investigator though...when he truly is from God (& one has prayed & fasted fervently)...then there are some things should be canceled out...
Just my 10 cents...

She has basically summarized it all.

Lady39:


Interesting question....I actually did that before. But then again, he wasn't who God ordained for me.I had "0" trust & was always suspicious. It about drove me crazy...Get in a relationship that isn't of God...& it will cause u to do things u never thought u would do. Now that's not to say that I wouldn't do some research on a potential future partner. That's one of the reasons for courtship. But I don't expect to have to hire a Private Investigator though...when he truly is from God (& one has prayed & fasted fervently)...then there are some things should be canceled out...
Just my 10 cents...

Yes.

I wouldn't know who's from God or Satan until I spend some time with him. The professional once-over will help me decide whether I would like to find out who sent him . That's go on with the courtship.

I do a quick scan all the time nonprofessionally even here on Nairaland. A guy sends me a PM or mail, I quickly spend a couple of minutes on his previous posts His style of writing, his choice of words, the frequently visited sections, his interactions with others etc. I once had a crush on a nairalander who seem not to have noticed me, I was getting ready to get in his face when I took my usual tour of his previous posts. Yeah, he writes well ( my reason for the crush), he visits well, his words were just right but he has the most caustic mouth ever! He could insult anyone! He gets provoked by any opinion that doesn't go down well with him regardless of whether it was directed at him or otherwise. Eeeewe! Na me go go fraternize with profanity niyen...No way! End of crush.

So yes, I would do a professional once over if that's available. I know it's not cool...We all deserve our privacies but no time to say no time. If Bobo get history of violence and now has found Jesus...Well, let him go and date Him! I ain't dealing, just come with regular baggage that won't kill the duo

Lady39:


Interesting question....I actually did that before. But then again, he wasn't who God ordained for me.I had "0" trust & was always suspicious. It about drove me crazy...Get in a relationship that isn't of God...& it will cause u to do things u never thought u would do. Now that's not to say that I wouldn't do some research on a potential future partner. That's one of the reasons for courtship. But I don't expect to have to hire a Private Investigator though...when he truly is from God (& one has prayed & fasted fervently)...then there are some things should be canceled out...
Just my 10 cents...

He wasn't who god ordained from you? I guess he' was broke. If he wasn't, he would have been 'god sent' , I guess
If

I have issues with that word "professional". Why pay someone to get background information from your spouse when you can easily gain access to their phones?


There is no better way to detect a corrupt spouse than spending some time on his/her phone. Just ensure you have enough courage to endure whatever you find. Social media is a reflection of who we are. Facebook keeps record, same with Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Emails, BBM, Nairaland, etc. People can delete as much as they want, but they can't delete their urge to continue to do what they have been deleting on the Social Media.

The truth we all must know is that, no matter how much you think you know your spouse (the generation Y), you KNOW NOTHING yet until you read their Social Media and Internet history.

Going to his house to cook and watch movies, or hanging out with 1 or 2 of his or her friends is mere exercise. For every friend you know physically, he/she has more she relates with frequently online. Funny thing is: when you meet his friends in Shoprite, we humans call it "getting to know his friend" but when you try to know his friends online, we call it "invasion of privacy" lmao!


For those who have issues with sexual histories, there is always a way to get your partner to tell you the TRUTH. The rule is; never expect the TRUE response on first request. Chances are that her number of sexua.l partners will continue to increase each time you ask So to those who are lucky to find a "decent virgin", I would say Congratulations! Your job just got easier! Note the arrangements: "decent" before "virgin".

All said and done especially by the above comments which is not far from the truth.... But i like to let you know that humans are variables and there is no way you can know somebody 100% ...... Just pray and ask God for a good spouse because if you try to do it with your little wisdom without consulting God .... I promise you will limited in your investigation.

And even if you employ professional hands to help you do background check on him/her, well they may succeed in giving you 98% background check on him/her and you may feel satisfied but I tell you that remaining 2% unchecked can have more devastating effect than the 98% checked.

And who says she can't change to be that thing you never ever dreamed he/she can be even in marriage...remember he/she is a variable.

Be that as it may ....am not saying background check is bad but you must not entirely depend on it take final decision, but rather depend on God ...for he seeth the end from the beginning.

https://www.nairaland.com/3476612/having-manhood-challenges-come-see.

ChessEnthusiast:

He wasn't who god ordained from you? I guess he' was broke. If he wasn't, he would have been 'god sent' , I guess
If

Hi...
So u like playing chess? I have to learn that someday..I heard it requires critical thinking Anyhow, to lighten this response up...I want to make u aware that sometimes it's wrong to make assumptions. I've said it quite a few times, but I will say it again in case u don't know. I am an African-American--born, raised and living in the U.S. My Igbo roots come from my dad--who is from Anambra state. My mother was black American. I usually don't discuss personal business...but I felt compelled to post on this thread.
I have read numerous threads about "Nigerian" women wanting men only for their money..however I wasn't coming from that angle..since I have never lived in Nigeria and can't comment in that regard.
I wasn't connecting "wealth" with "spirituality". I'm not one that necessarily believes that having wealth = a superior relationship with God. I also don't believe that being poor= a superior relationship with God. God can bless a hard-working man...and he not become wealthy (but that's another thread for another time or room..).
The man I was with had no money...and I knew that before[i][/i] I started a relationship with him. His problem was "wandering eyes" and my inability to resist his advances..knowing he wasn't the one for me. See the thing is...I actually knew he wasn't...but "lust" set in. There's that little thing called "charisma" that some men have been gifted with...regardless from what part of the world they may live in....Problem is they abuse that gift. And women just won't say "no" even though they know they should.
Now I will be honest here. I expect a man to be hard-working. I've seen and felt the results of that example (from my dad & late mom) my whole life..so I expect it to continue with a possible future spouse. However, I'm not obsessed with money. I could have been..but I'm not.
I'm most interested in a man's relationship with God..when that's right..other things will fall into place. The man I dealt with for years didn't necessarily have a strong relationship with God. That was the problem...hence which led to other problems. In fairness to him though, I also wasn't where I should've been in my relationship with God.
With age hopefully comes maturity....I'm still learning

Lady39:


Hi...
So u like playing chess? I have to learn that someday..I heard it requires critical thinking Anyhow, to lighten this response up...I want to make u aware that sometimes it's wrong to make assumptions. I've said it quite a few times, but I will say it again in case u don't know. I am an African-American--born, raised and living in the U.S. My Igbo roots come from my dad--who is from Anambra state. My mother was black American. I usually don't discuss personal business...but I felt compelled to post on this thread.
I have read numerous threads about "Nigerian" women wanting men only for their money..however I wasn't coming from that angle..since I have never lived in Nigeria and can't comment in that regard.
I wasn't connecting "wealth" with "spirituality". I'm not one that necessarily believes that having wealth = a superior relationship with God. I also don't believe that being poor= a superior relationship with God. God can bless a hard-working man...and he not become wealthy (but that's another thread for another time or room..).
The man I was with had no money...and I knew that before[i][/i] I started a relationship with him. His problem was "wandering eyes" and my inability to not resist his advances..knowing he wasn't the one for me. See the thing is...I actually knew he wasn't...but "lust" set in. There's that little thing called "charisma" that some men have been gifted with...regardless from what part of the world they may live in....Problem is they abuse that gift. And women just won't say "no" even though they know they should.
Now I will be honest here. I expect a man to be hard-working. I've had that example my whole life..so I expect it to continue with a possible future spouse. However, I'm not obsessed with money. I could have been..but I'm not. I'm most interested in that man's relationship with God..when that's right..other things will fall into place. The man I dealt with for years didn't necessarily have a strong relationship with God. I also wasn't where I should've been in my relationship.
With age hopefully comes maturity....I'm still learning

Apologies, my lady. You're a good woman.
Cheers.

ChessEnthusiast:

Apologies, my lady. You're a good woman.
Cheers.

No problem....I appreciate your question though.

If anybody did that to me and I found out, I would have dumped the person. To go that far you have many underlying issues or you do not trust your partner. It's also a very creepy thing to do.

Nah! I am a professional myself when it comes to that.

sisisioge:
Yes.

I wouldn't know who's from God or Satan until I spend some time with him. The professional once-over will help me decide whether I would like to find out who sent him . That's go on with the courtship.

I do a quick scan all the time nonprofessionally even here on Nairaland. A guy sends me a PM or mail, I quickly spend a couple of minutes on his previous posts His style of writing, his choice of words, the frequently visited sections, his interactions with others etc. I once had a crush on a nairalander who seem not to have noticed me, I was getting ready to get in his face when I took my usual tour of his previous posts. Yeah, he writes well ( my reason for the crush), he visits well, his words were just right but he has the most caustic mouth ever! He could insult anyone! He gets provoked by any opinion that doesn't go down well with him regardless of whether it was directed at him or otherwise. Eeeewe! Na me go go fraternize with profanity niyen...No way! End of crush.

So yes, I would do a professional once over if that's available. I know it's not cool...We all deserve our privacies but no time to say no time. If Bobo get history of violence and now has found Jesus...Well, let him go and date Him! I ain't dealing, just come with regular baggage that won't kill the duo

Like they said opinions are like assholes everyone has one.

ayokellany:
Like they said opinions are like assholes everyone has one.

True azz

Lady39:


Interesting question....I actually did that before. But then again, he wasn't who God ordained for me.I had "0" trust & was always suspicious. It about drove me crazy...Get in a relationship that isn't of God...& it will cause u to do things u never thought u would do. Now that's not to say that I wouldn't do some research on a potential future partner. That's one of the reasons for courtship. But I don't expect to have to hire a Private Investigator though...when he truly is from God (& one has prayed & fasted fervently)...then there are some things should be canceled out...
Just my 10 cents...

over religiousness go kill us in this country. can we deduce pastor chris Oyakilhome nd Okotie married people not ordained by God from ur explanations

ednut1:
over religiousness go kill us in this country. can we deduce pastor chris Oyakilhome nd Okotie married people not ordained by God from ur explanations

Hi,
Yes...fanaticism, which I'm seeing on numerous religious threads on NL, apparently is a problem in Nigeria just as it is in the U.S.
I have no clue who those two people that you mentioned are I was just commenting on
what "I" have experienced in my life.

I prefer to do a background check on myself.

I will like to know if i have tracks that i need to cover, as i intend to become the President of Nigeria.

As for the spouse matter, forget that thing, except i have a reason to be suspicious.

Acidosis:
I have issues with that word "professional". Why pay someone to get background information from your spouse when you can easily gain access to their phones?


There is no better way to detect a corrupt spouse than spending some time on his/her phone. Just ensure you have enough courage to endure whatever you find. Social media is a reflection of who we are. Facebook keeps record, same with Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Emails, BBM, Nairaland, etc. People can delete as much as they want, but they can't delete their urge to continue to do what they have been deleting on the Social Media.

The truth we all must know is that, no matter how much you think you know your spouse (the generation Y), you KNOW NOTHING yet until you read their Social Media and Internet history.

Going to his house to cook and watch movies, or hanging out with 1 or 2 of his or her friends is mere exercise. For every friend you know physically, he/she has more she relates with frequently online. Funny thing is: when you meet his friends in Shoprite, we humans call it "getting to know his friend" but when you try to know his friends online, we call it "invasion of privacy" lmao!


For those who have issues with sexual histories, there is always a way to get your partner to tell you the TRUTH. The rule is; never expect the TRUE response on first request. Chances are that her number of sexua.l partners will continue to increase each time you ask So to those who are lucky to find a "decent virgin", I would say Congratulations! Your job just got easier! Note the arrangements: "decent" before "virgin".

Lolz
True talk