Hi all. A friend encouraged me to post this here. I'm not really the type that like bringing his/her personal issues online but i think i have to now and here is the perfect place cos of the anonymous cover. Please stay glued to your screen and do endeavour to comment.
*Sighs
Here's my story

I'm a 21year old girl, the last born from a family of five (4 boys and a girl) raised by a single parent (My mom) She's divorced. We all (The kids) lacked paternal care.
It is my Mom and God who has sustained us up till this moment. She was able to see us all out of secondary school but we've not been able to further our education.


Only my eldest brother works and earns money legitimately as it stands now. My 3 other brothers are extremely wayward (They drink, smoke, womanize and all that) they are even not willing to work. They are into 'Yahoo'. Although they initially struggled and hustled but fortune was not smiling at them. One even aspired to be a musician and since help was not forthcoming, he ventured into the 'Yahoo Yahoo' alongside the two others.

I and my mom live together in a rented apartment somewhere in Lagos. We've been living from hand to mouth and the little stipends i make from my sales does not seem to be enough for the upkeep the two of us.

Now this is where the problem lies. The sad thing is, they (My brothers) are the ones helping us.. Paying of rents, buying of foodstuffs and all that. Initially, my mom didn't know what they did for a living but after much pestering they opened up. It really pained her and she advised them quit the act and work legally even if it meant doing menial jobs but they won't listen! She tried to stop accepting their gifts but it seems we really can't cope without 'em. She didn't have any choice but to accept even tho it's not a joy for her. She sometimes isolate herself and cry over the issue and it's also hurting me, they know this aswell but they just won't change . I don't even know what to do! They won't listen to advises. It's hard to cope without 'em and knowing fully well their source of income is making it more painful! I cnt cry right now i'm just depressed. I confided in a friend who encouraged me to post it here as i would get reasonable advises from matured minds.

Is it ideal for my mom to accept money for our upkeep from them? (She's a prophetess)
What can she do to stop their wayward lifestyles? Help a sister! This is a serious issue.
Thanks

Ah!
She should stop collecting.

When one door closes, another opens.
Personally, I believe prayers can do a lot.

And she should not stop talking and believing that they would turn around for good.

You can also join your mum in it.

I wish u and your entire family well.

Since you guys don't have a sufficient source of livelihood, she has no other option than to keep accepting the gifts and pray for God to give them a better hand work.

Nothing Pass Prayer

OP I don't know what to say...


Let's hear what the poster under me has to say

You are 21. Find something meaningful to do and support your mum. Stop critiquing ur mum for accepting help knowing her options are limited.
Your mum isn't responsible for your older brothers actions.
At 21, what have you done to assist your brothers? Why bring such sensitive family issues to SM?

This is serious As for me I feel you guys have to make it clear that you can't accept their gifts anymore since you are feeling guilty about it. let your conscience lead you. When one door closes, another one opens

keepingmum:
You are 21. Find something meaningful to do and support your mum. Stop critiquing ur mum for accepting help knowing her options are limited.
Your mum isn't responsible for your older brothers actions.
At 21, what have you done to assist your brothers? Why bring such sensitive family issues to SM?

i'm not criticizing her.. she feels bad about it and I also do feel bad.

To help my brothers in what way?

Lalasticlala mynd44 seun ... your help is needed

if they were politicians diverting fund,will you accept.
you should be happy they are honest with yoi and care for you

No mention of any help from your eldest brother who is gainfully employed. I'll advice u keep collecting and use the funds to setup yourself and your mum. Nothing lasts forever, not even yahoo yahoo. Help your brothers make good use of the money they see now. One day u might need to bail them out.

Babamide:
No mention of any help from your eldest brother who is gainfully employed. I'll advice u keep collecting and use the funds to setup yourself and your mum. Nothing lasts forever, not even yahoo yahoo. Help your brothers make good use of the money they see now. One day u might need to bail them out.

Hmmmm!! The money from him isn't just little and I pray they will never be arrested!!

[quote author=Confusedsoul post=52939179][/quote]

Confusedsoul:

They have come to accept that the end justifies the means and yahoo yahoo can be such an easy way of destroying ones life because it can avail you to a lot of money which you didn't work hard for too early. Regardless of how much gainful employment affords them it will still be very hardworking them to quit completely.( That's the truth and u probably already realised it).

The problem isn't just with the lack of jobs to absorb them, their perception about an honest living has been compromised.Get them to realise that there is dignity in labour and refrain from accepting help from them, half of their motivation lies in believing their doing this for the greater good. (i.e providing for u and your mom).

Help then utilize their money because someday they may need your help

keepingmum:
You are 21. Find something meaningful to do and support your mum. Stop critiquing ur mum for accepting help knowing her options are limited.
Your mum isn't responsible for your older brothers actions.
At 21, what have you done to assist your brothers? Why bring such sensitive family issues to SM?

. Why are u so harsh on her? Did she tell you she isnt working? Where else do u want her to bare her mind. Pls sis advice ur brothers to invest in a legitimate business and flea from yahoo yahoo.

U can also ask them to open a business for u, train u to sch. Dey shld also think of schooling too.

The best option is for you to struggle to get tertiary education albeit a good one, I have had first hand experience of what yahoo does to people’s psyche and how it fades away.

As for your brothers, keep praying for them and hoping they turn around (also important that they tie some legal business down with the money)

As for receiving money from them or not, you can start reducing it with the help of your first born, say restrict it to rent only while you guys hustle the foodstuff etc. Till you guys are able to do without them, but for now you have got to " eat that frog".

Dexema:
The best option is for you to struggle to get tertiary education albeit a good one, I have had first hand experience of what yahoo does to people’s psyche and how it fades away.

As for your brothers, keep praying for them and hoping they turn around (also important that they tie some legal business down with the money)

As for receiving money from them or not, you can start reducing it with the help of your first born, say restrict it to rent only while you guys hustle the foodstuff etc. Till you guys are able to do without them, but for now you have got to " eat that frog".

They don't wanna do any business well I will try and talk to my mum..
As for me I am preparing to go study nursing... I know God will change their life for better thanks for your advice..

Difficult decisions build character and your eventually going to have to choose!

Understand, that you will have to do whatever it takes to survive or succeed in life. The "morality" of your decisions is a totally different issue, and you cannot place survival and morality in the same box - they are incompatible. And, morality never comes before survival.

If you hear a man kills his neighbor because his life was threatened - what would your opinion be ? Kill or be Killed ?

The same rule applies on earth, you thrive or you dive !

This is a very simple case,ur mum shudnt fret over ur brodas cuz dere is no amount of cries and scolding dt can change them again except d mercy of d Lord,she shud rather advise them to acquire assets like properties dt wud fetch them money and fall back to wen d chips re down.

Let ur mom keep praying for em ...yahoo liberated a lot o families ..I know so many families who yahoo changed there lives.. From zero begging for food to blessing other people ..yahoo is not a job but it's stil better than carrying guns robbing and maiming people

keepingmum:
You are 21. Find something meaningful to do and support your mum. Stop critiquing ur mum for accepting help knowing her options are limited.
Your mum isn't responsible for your older brothers actions.
At 21, what have you done to assist your brothers? Why bring such sensitive family issues to SM?

Maybe you should offer her a job so that she can do something meaningful, or what do you think?

Baby girl, there is no job in Nigeria. Our President, governors, senators, pastors e.t.c are YAHOO YAHOO too, there own way of collecting and earning illegal money is just the difference.

Don't let your brothers quit doing it, the best thing your money can do is to keep collecting from them, and make good use of the money, like saving and buying plots of land. You should also demand money from them to invest in a business or education. Your future matters, and without money it's not bright.

Celebs, rich people of today got their money in ways you can't imagine. Look at Afrocandy, Maheeda. Do you think the children of these ladies will suffer? No, but look at what their mother is doing.

Do you know thee number o deeks Yemi Alade fücked before she got to the top?

Money matters if you don't want to be frustrated in.life.

Keep collecting money from them, but make a very good of it.
Ciao

I don't think you feel bad about it enough. If you truly did, you will not collect the money from them. Do you know the pains and curses associated with such money? It is blood money. Such money can never bring peace or joy. Reject their money and ask your responsible brother for assistance. Start up your life with clean money, not money that comes from the pain of other's. It never lasts.