I am not an optimist, neither am I a pessimist, because if I can remember well the dictionary definition of a pessimist is a person who always expects bad things to happen. I don’t always expect bad things to happen, rather, I expect good things to happen while I prepare for a bad possible scenario. In simpler terms, I always have a plan B just in case plan A fails, while I hope I don’t eventually get to fall back to plan B. Why am I like this? The answer is simple. I believe there is never an absolute, nothing is 100% sure or correct. Even this statement is not 100% correct because, in mathematics 100 is definitely 100. But there is always an exception. Therefore nothing is ever sure to happen until it has happened, considering this, I always prepare for the eventuality of it not happening.
In view of this, what do I call myself? Since I do not fit the definition of a either an optimistic or a pessimistic person, I guess you could call me an open minded person, a realistic person, or even a doubting Thomas. All this adjectives may be correct, but I prefer not to define what this characteristic of mine is.
I am not a principled person. Why? Because my principles change. I do not make myself immune to change, in fact, I embrace it depending on how I feel about a particular issue at a particular point in time, with the awareness that my previous disposition may be wrong and based on disputable beliefs. I don’t drink, don’t smoke. I do not think abortion is murder. I (give and receive help) during exams (not often but when I really need to). I do not support killing of anybody for whatever reason. I don’t think school is for everybody, education however, is compulsory. All this however, can change tomorrow.
Being open minded requires knowing that you do not have the right to feel superior to other persons because they differ in opinion to you. It requires accepting others and respecting their views even if it doesn’t tally with yours, being open to considering accepting it. I do not like people that in addition to feeling like someone with an opposing opinion to theirs is definitely wrong, try to force their opinions down other people’s throats. This people disgust me (I wrote that subjectively and I’m not sorry for it), even though I understand them and don’t mind liking them if they can do away with such attitude.
You are homophobic, fine! Don’t try to force the idea that ‘it is wrong’ on other people.
You are gay, okay! Don’t try to make people like you and your sexual orientation by force.
You are an atheist, alright! Stop picking on Christians and their beliefs.
And for the believers, God did not ask you to judge or condemn anybody on his behalf for whatever reason.
It is called bullying, why can you not allow others the right to their beliefs, to decide what to believe in, on their terms, from their point of view and respect it. There is nothing wrong in preaching to someone, or expressing your opinion to them with the aim of convincing them to either endorse or rebuke a point of view as the case may be. Forcing others to see through your eyes is utterly wrong.
I listen to radio a lot and I have to say, a lot of these our ‘serious’ radio presenters are guilty of forcing their opinions on people. They throw out a subject of discussion and claim objectivity in their view of the topic and in their reactions to callers, while in actual fact they have subconsciously taken a stance on the matter. This shows from the type of conversation they have with the callers who call to express their opinions on the matter. They tend to agree with a group of callers whose opinions are similar to the what they think is right, even if they aren’t objective, they just accept whatever they say, and throw more questions at those with opposing views and cry foul if they notice any form of sentiment in their opinions. You either say what they like or they pick on you.
People can be objectively subjective -only leaving room for facts that support a stance you subjectively chose. Most of these our OAP’s are like this. They throw out topics and once a caller’s view starts tilting towards a conclusion which they don’t agree with, they call out the person for allowing his emotions to influence his stance at the slightest provocation but they go soft and ignore this if their view agrees with what they subconsciously support. This very well defines being objectively subjective. This is why some people will never agree with anything that comes out of Donald Trump’s mouth even if he has valid points.
Now, as much as I feel it is not cool to be intolerant of other people’s views, I feel this can be changed with a little effort from people with this habit. When you open your mind, you get introduced to a whole new world. If you can get yourself to listen without a biased mind, read without prejudice, objectively consider the ideas of others, you will realize; how much wiser you could have been (if you had listened to their facts when you shut out the thought of their being possibly right); how easier it will be to understand people and why they feel a certain way, endorse a certain idea or say certain things. You will hate people less and forgive more.
Being tolerant and opening up your mind is hard and it isn’t, based on how willing you are to. You first have to realize you have been hostile to new/different ideas. That is the first step to living that healthy life. Then making conscious effort to understand (not necessarily accept) others and their opinions.
Be open minded
Ps: I love Joyce of cool fm, Adenike and Tolu of nigeria info, Titi the Dynamite of Inspiration fm, even though I get angry when I listen to their shows sometimes. They go too deep sometimes.
: I salute writers, it isn’t easy.
(I stand to be corrected though)