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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / A Collection of Funny Stories (29094 Views)
Collection Of Funny Tweets And Memes To Brighten Up Your Day / My Collection Of Funny Meme and Pictures / My Collection Of Funny Memes:be Warned You Might Laugh To Stupor (2) (3) (4)
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 8:04pm On Nov 01, 2017 |
There is this guy who has a 25 inch dick. He
goes to
a witch in the woods and asks her if she can
make
his dick smaller because he just can't please
the
ladies because it is just too big, he hasn't
found a
lady yet who likes it and he can't get any
pleasure.
She tells him to go into the woods and he
will find a frog when he finds the frog he is
to ask it to marry
him.
If the frog says no, his cock will shrink 5
inches.
He goes into the woods and finds this frog.
He asks
"frog, will you marry me?" The frog says "no" And his prick shrinks five inches. The guys thinks to himself, "Wow, that was pretty cool. But, it's still too big." So he goes back to the frog and again asks the frog: "Frog, will you marry me? Frog: "No, I won't marry you." The guys dick shrinks another five inches. But that's still 15 inches and he thinks his chop is still just a little bit too big. But he thinks that 10 inches would be just great. He goes back to the frog and asks: "Frog, will you marry me?" Frog: How many times do I have to tell you NO, NO, NO No No No No No No No!!! 2 Likes |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by vivie01(f): 8:33pm On Nov 01, 2017 |
gqboyy: That's the spirit bruv! We no dey fear their fear, God has not given us the spirit of fear but that of power and sound-mind! ***Thank God na inside my house I kuku dey*** 2 Likes |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by vivie01(f): 8:37pm On Nov 01, 2017 |
gqboyy: Similar thing that happened during the ebola things, lol, Pastor's faith no fit carry that one, who wan die 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by vivie01(f): 8:45pm On Nov 01, 2017 |
gqboyy: All these hassle just to kill ant?? 1 Like |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 11:01pm On Nov 01, 2017 |
vivie01:Hahaha funny girl vivie01:Fear of these endtime diseases is the beginning of wisdom oo vivie01:Lol, the point is to torture d ant till it shout "abeg am tired of these series of wahala, make una kuku kill me... lol 1 Like |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 9:47pm On Nov 14, 2017 |
Once had a friend on facebook who's new on facebook. Every time he'll be updating his status with: "MONEY, MONEY MONEY" at least 30 times everyday . I became so curious and furious, because his post was always flooding my wall. . One day I summon the courage and chatted him up . ME: hey dude! HIM: hi ME:Why are you always posting "money" Every time?? don't you know you're making some people uncomfortable by doing this? HIM: sorry bro, it's because facebook always ask what's on my mind everytime I log in. . I just fainted . Have a nice sleep palz |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by Nobody: 10:51pm On Nov 14, 2017 |
New Hilarious Video Titiled SHARP GUY by Students of Federal University of Technology, minna popular know as federal GUYS!!! CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO WATCH NOW https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkL8ccGcMCg |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by Nobody: 5:24pm On Nov 15, 2017 |
[url]Http://facebook.com/officialadekaz[/url] FOLLOW MY FACEBOOK PAGE FOR UNLIMITED JOKES AND ENTERTAINMENT Have you ever been next to people who gossip so much that you're even scared of leaving them cause you know you will be the next topic? My friend is Jobless and his Employed Girlfriend told him..."This Relationship is not Working,Just like you!! My friend has lost his appetite for 3days Honestly, Africans don't have time to rest, even after death they work as ancestors Have you ever been next to people who gossip so much that you're even scared of leaving them cause you know you will be the next topic? My friend is Jobless and his Employed Girlfriend told him..."This Relationship is not Working,Just like you!! My friend has lost his appetite for 3days nowHonestly, Africans don't have time to rest, even after death they work as ancestors Emojis were made to show expressions, but some of these block-headed girls will be using it to cover their armpit* *Remember that Match between Goliath and David that year? I still dey wonder how many odd them giv David* Shey You know say "LMAO" also means..... Leave Me Alone Ode. JOIN ME ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE FOR UNLIMITED LAUGH AND ENTERTAINMENT CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO JOIN NOW http://facebook.com/officialadekaz |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by IJMBEXCEL: 8:54pm On Nov 18, 2017 |
gqboyy:Lol.my guy son loss. |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 6:39pm On Dec 02, 2017 |
10min ago i was bored so i called the police Me: Hello help, 35 people are following me Police: Calm down, where are you? Me: On instagram Police: Idiot . Did I do something wrong ? 2 Likes |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 12:08pm On Dec 09, 2017 |
*A tooth for a tooth* Yesterday, my pressing iron broke down. I went to the neighbours and asked them for their iron. They told me to come and iron in their house or forget about it. I went and ironed without arguing. This morning they also came to ask me for a broom. I also told them to come and sweep at my house or forget about it. Now they are angry. Did I do anything wrong? Good morning |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 8:07pm On Dec 09, 2017 |
conversation between Akpos and Emeka AKPOS: Emeka. Please, give me your phone, I want to call my girlfriend. I don't have credit in mine. EMEKA: (hands phone to Akpos) No problem, but be quick with the call. AKPOS: Thanks alot. (Akpos dials girlfriend's number, makes a quick phone call and then returns happy and excited) AKPOS: O boy, this your phone na correct phone oh, wetin be the name? EMEKA: Yes oh, na blackberry smart phone. AKPOS: Kai, no wonder dem dey call am 'smart phone'. The phone sabi no be small. Could you believe, when I typed and dialled my girlfriend's number on your phone, it showed the number as 'My love'. How did your phone know that I'm calling my girlfriend? One word for Akpos? |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 8:10pm On Dec 09, 2017 |
The CEO of a company was walking round the
factory
to see how the staff were working. He noticed a guy leaning against the wall doing nothing, he approached the man and asked him, "How much do you earn?" The guy was amazed and said, "N120,000 Sir". The CEO. took out his wallet, gave the guy N240,000 and yelled at him, "I pay people here to work and not waste time loafing around. This is your 2 months salary, now Get out of here, don't say a word and NEVER come back!" After the guy had left, the CEO now looked at the other workers and asked, "by the way, who was that guy?" The workers replied. he was waiting for his friend. The manager fainted!!!!! BEFORE THIS YEAR RUNS OUT MAY GOD PROVOKE PEOPLE TO FAVOUR YOU TODAY. Amen!!! 2 Likes |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 8:14pm On Dec 09, 2017 |
I met a girl on monday at motor park, after a little conversation with her, I wanted to leave and desire to collect her phone number. After she gave me the number, I said to her: Me: Sorry, I didn't catch your name. She: Ok am Dike Sandra Thelma Vera. Feel free to call me (DSTV) in short form and you ? Me: (I no fit carry last) well am Godwin Obinna Tochukwu Victor, you can call me (GOTV) And I also have frndz like Felicia Ukamaka Eloka Linda (FUEL) Christian Babatunde Noah (CBN) Adewale Ibrahim Tejuoso (AIT) Lawal Adeola Nasirudeen (LAN) David Victor Daniel (DVD) She: Shiff lemme faint 1 Like |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 8:14pm On Dec 09, 2017 |
I met a girl on monday at motor park, after a little conversation with her, I wanted to leave and desire to collect her phone number. After she gave me the number, I said to her: Me: Sorry, I didn't catch your name. She: Ok am Dike Sandra Thelma Vera. Feel free to call me (DSTV) in short form and you ? Me: (I no fit carry last) well am Godwin Obinna Tochukwu Victor, you can call me (GOTV) And I also have frndz like Felicia Ukamaka Eloka Linda (FUEL) Christian Babatunde Noah (CBN) Adewale Ibrahim Tejuoso (AIT) Lawal Adeola Nasirudeen (LAN) David Victor Daniel (DVD) She: Shiff lemme faint 1 Like |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 8:19pm On Dec 09, 2017 |
A Mån went to Drïnk Beer ïn a Bår...
He shouted :
"Bår Mån"...!!! Give me å Bottle of Beer &
Gïve Everyone å Bottle of Beer ïn here, Cøz when
åm Drïnking £vëryønë should Drïnk.
£veryone
Cheered
"BIG BUY£R" "BÏG BUY£R"...
. Later after å while he Shouted again. Bar Man...! Gïve me å Plate of Chïcken 'n' Chïps then Gïve £veryone a plåte of Såusåge and Chïps Cøz when I'm £åting, £veryone must be £åting... £veryone Cheered "Dangote Munchende" Pyu Fyu Fyu Fyu; they Whistled".. After he Fïnïshed £åtïng He Shøuted ågåin. . Bår Mån...! Gïve Me My Bïll & Gïve £veryøne ïn Here there Bïlls, Cøz when åm Påying £veryone Should be Påying... Everyone including the barman fainted!!! 1 Like |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 8:28pm On Dec 09, 2017 |
Hahahahaha "Dangote's daughter cheated on me and you say I should break up? Don't you know that Love is all about forgiveness. ****************** Beloved sisters in the Lord, if your boyfriend can finish 5 loafs of bread and 2 fishes; you are dating 5000 people ***************** How can a pastor be preaching about charity and put a password on Church WIFI? ***************** A boy I beat up back then in primary school is now in the US Army. He poses with guns on Facebook, and looks like he hasn't forgotten. Should I goto hiding? ****************** One stone is enough to break a glass, one word is enough to break a heart, one second is enough to fall in love BUT Why is one chapter not enough to pass exams? *************** When you see a Nigerian couple outside staring at the moon, It's either NEPA (Nigeria's Electricity company) took the light or they are waiting for the smell of the insecticide to subside. ************* I just saw a Tricycle (Keke Napep) with an inscription "Trust No woman" I have a feeling that guy once had a range rover. **************** If you want to change the world, do it now that you are still single, because when you get married, you can't even change the T.V station. 3 Likes |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by vivie01(f): 9:00pm On Dec 09, 2017 |
LOL..... These are very funny. Weldone @OP. 2 Likes |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 7:56pm On Dec 13, 2017 |
Akpos decided to go to the church one
Sunday,during church service the pastor stood
and shouted, "someone must do something
crazy for the lord today(his statement was
offering for the lord)."
Akpos anxiously stood up and ran with the
offering box which he was been pursued.
Abeg na bad thing e do? |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 8:00pm On Dec 13, 2017 |
vivie01:Thanks vivie 1 Like |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 7:23pm On Dec 16, 2017 |
What Are Friends For? Akpos and Ochuko were drinking palm wine together. Ochuko said, "Akpos, I have a confession to make." Akpos asked, "What is it?" Ochuko said, "Last week, I slept with your wife. I am sorry." Akpos shouted, "You slept with my wife?!" Ochuko said, "Please forgive me. "Akpos cooled down and said, "What are friends for? I forgive you. " The following week, Ochuko was furious that someone had harvested all his crops in his farmland. During their drinking time in the evening, Akpos said to Ochuko, "Ochuko, I have a confession to make." Ochuko asked, "What is it?" Akpos said, "I was the one who harvested all your crops. I am very sorry I did that." Ochuko, after getting angry, said, "What are friends for? I forgive you. " Two weeks later, they were drinking palm wine together when Ochuko said to Akpos, "Akpos, I have a confession to make." Akpos asked, "What is it?" Ochuko said, "I poisoned your drink because I was angry with you. Please forgive me. Akpos said, "So you poisoned my drink? Anyway what are friends for? I forgive you. I also have a confession to make. Ochuko asked, "What is it?" Akpos said, "I am sorry! I exchanged our drinks. Please forgive me!" Ochuko fainted!! 1 Like |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 7:28pm On Dec 16, 2017 |
Dying From Cancer Akpos went to his doctor after a long illness. After a lengthy examination, the doctor sighed and looked at Akpos eye to eye, and said, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month to live." Akpos was shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character. He managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There, he saw his son who had been waiting. Akpos said, "Well son, we Nigerians celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer, and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the joint and have a few beers."After three or four beers, the two were feeling a little less sober. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Akpos' old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Akpos told them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave Akpos their condolences, and they had a couple more beers.After his friends left, Akpos' son leaned over and whispered his confusion. "Dad. I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"Akpos said, "I am dying of cancer, son.. I just don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone."!!!!!!!! 1 Like |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 9:59pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
Happening Now in CHOBA!!!!!! There is confusion in front of Delta Park. The school security agents found two heads in a student's bag. A young girl, about 22 years old, got on a bike with a big handbag from Aluu heading towards Delta Park but the bike man felt a strong smell coming from her handbag. She claimed she was going to Dan-Etete hostel to visit her friend whom she identified as Josephine Paul. The horrible smell made the okada man suspicious who then used a light signal to attract other okada riders. When he got to Delta Park, they held the girl, and beckoned on Campus Security to search the girl's bag. Many were frightened, not knowing what was happening. One of the security guys was shocked when he opened the 22-year-old girl's bag and found two (2) heads. In examining them carefully, the authorities found that they were two known heads. It was a head of a garlic and the other of an onion. Thank you very much for your attention. Now you can continue what you were doing...... that's how my aproko made me to fall mugu too. Kpele. 1 Like |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 10:01pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
Wen a white man creates a phone and you video chat with your brother you call it technology but when your Grandmother in the village use a mirror to see you in your house in Lagos, you call it witchcraft. It's about tym we value our Nigerian products. �� ������������� In Africa we don't need CCTV cameras, the neighbours are enough �. if you think i'm lying bring your girlfriend at home when your wife is not around and see ������ Am done with Nigerian movies, how can a native doctor say, the charm will work in Jesus name.... ����� Guys! Best way to propose to a girl Take her in a boat to the middle of the river and say " Chiamaka marry me or leave my boat. Wisdom na my baptismal name ��� *Toothpicks* *were* *missing* *in* *the* *house*, *then* *my* *Mother* *asked* *our* *maid*, *and* *she* *was* *like*: �it's not me, even when I use I put them back ������ Some African Parents will be like 'I will not place Curse on you, but whatever you do to me your children will do you same. Is this one a Proclaimation or a Declaration ������� Everyone has a right to be Foolish but some Idiots use it Stupidly. Teacher: Mention 10wild animals Student: 5lions. 5tigers. . . . . . �������� My school teacher taught me most of the Lies I tell today, she would tell me to write a letter to my Uncle abroad when she knows my Uncle is in the Village. ����� My mom entered my room and saw me asleep. She held my head, slapped me and said to me "Your last seen on Whatsapp was 1minute ago, stand up and go buy me bread" ������ Some people don't have the Spirit of Forgiveness at all, How can u sweep your room and use ur Ex' Picture as paker �������� No one is more Respectful than a person who wants to borrow money from u....... He can even greet ur dog ..... Hello Bingo� how are u?�����⚡�⚡�⚡ 2 Likes |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by vivie01(f): 9:39pm On Dec 20, 2017 |
gqboyy: Hilarious! That of parents' is so true, they placed the curse already. Some children can be very stubborn and naughty 1 Like |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by gqboyy(m): 8:37pm On Jan 16, 2018 |
A married Man died during SEX with his wife. The Wife cut his erect Penis, filled it with cement & fixed it in d wall. Every night she used to go to d wall & satisfy herself. One day her neighbour saw this..! He made a hole in the wall, removed the husband's penis & put his own penis in place of that.. & waited his turn for sex. The lady came with a knife...cut his penis & said..."Darling today we are shifting to our new house |
Re: A Collection of Funny Stories by nanora: 8:53am On Jan 26, 2018 |
Lol, Nice collection Yooying 1 Like |
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