Hi everyone, i need your advice concerning this lady I'm dating. We met during a seminar last year November in enugu. We're both from the same state. I'm just concerned about her age and whether she'll respect me if we end up together in marriage. I'm seeing this stubborn tendency in her. Does a marriage where both partners are of the same age work well?

Thanks for your response.

A stubborn lady will be stubborn irrespective of the age difference.
Age aside, observe her, do you see stubbornness in her?

If yes, know she is a stubborn woman. You can either deal with it or waka

The problem isn't her age, or you both being age mates.... you don't just get or expect respect because you're supposedly old or older. Earn it.
The problem is the stubborn tendencies you're seeing in her.

Tell us about this stubborn tendencies?

Here to observe

Age is not the problem.If you're stubborn,you're stubborn.
If you can deal with the stubborness,then continue in the relationship.It's a hard thing dealing with a stubborn woman in a marriage sha.

Even if she were younger or older than you, if she's just a stubborn person she'll still be stubborn. Her stubbornness has nothing to do with her being your age mate, but her personality. It's a trait that's hard to change in someone, so you either accept it or move on.

Age makes no difference,its either you can deal or not. As for 'its a hard thing dealing with a stubborn woman in marriage sha', did you marry one? People married the 'stubborn' women. Just see if there are other values you admire and find her 'mumu button'. That stubbornness might work positively often.

Oga, na wa. Go and find a 23-year-old you can tell 'I am not your mate' when she disrespects you.

There's a tendency for ladies to want to ridicule a man regardless of age. You should be confident enough in yourself to brush it off or address it regardless of the lady's age. So, what if she is older than you? You would become mumu for her?

OP you have greater issues that you need to resolve within yourself before thinking of marriage.

Age has minimal effect, a man should command respect by earning it, i have seen several young ladies tell matured men u must be crazy And all sort of dirty languages, play thr role of the head and respect yourself

forzarush:
Age makes no difference,its either you can deal or not. As for 'its a hard thing dealing with a stubborn woman in marriage sha', did you marry one? People married the 'stubborn' women. Just see if there are other values you admire and find her 'mumu button'. That stubbornness might work positively often.

I didn't marry a stubborn woman.Why should I marry one?I'm not a stubborn man so why of all women should I choose a stubborn one?
I know there are men who married stubborn women and cope with them.Your hubby isn't complaining and is coping with you.
I'm just advising the Op or any man not to.

She has the tendency to be stubborn.... How? And you think it is because you guys are age mates? I doubt

Stubbornness is not age restricted. You're seeing that she is stubborn and you never marry her yet o. Her subbornness go increase when you marry her. Run before you create another thread after marriage saying MY WIFE'S STUBBORRNESS HAS DOUBLED. No say them no warn you o.

My wife and I are same age and have been together since 25 years now and added to that she was earning more than I even 10 years into our marriage...age is no issue if character and understanding are paramount in the relationship...so my brother just check out the real issues that make life worth sharing with a partner and enjoy yourself.

There is nothing there to earn. You already have the head position as the Man. Do not let women trick you into believing that you need to earn respect in your relationship. You deserve to be respected. And you also need to show respect to your partner there is nothing there to earn. If you cannot respect your partner no point...Please do not, I repeat DO NOT marry a woman of same age or same age bracket...please is a mistake you are about to make...at least let there be a 5years age difference between you and your partner. It helps...I can tell you I have seen so many things. Take this as a big brother's advice.

How exactly is she stubborn?
Stubbornness could either be negative or positive. Happiness in marriage isn't a function of age.

Marxxx:
There is nothing there to earn. You already have the head position as the Man. Do not let women trick you into believing that you need to earn respect in your relationship. You deserve to be respected. And you also need to show respect to your partner there is nothing there to earn. If you cannot respect your partner no point...Please do not, I repeat DO NOT marry a woman of same age or same age bracket...please is a mistake you are about to make...at least let there be a 5years age difference between you and your partner. It helps...I can tell you I have seen so many things. Take this as a big brother's advice.

Lol @ head position.
You guys are so fixated on this head, no one is dragging it with you.
Women are not tricking anyone, it is simple human relationship.

You deserve to be respected_ yes, but when someone is deserving of something, you have RIGHTFULLY EARNED it. So, you earn respect dear. If you are not worthy of respect, you won't get it just because you're the HEAD. You might get a pseudo-respect, which would fall like a pack of cards during tough times, but not respect itself.

It's that type of respect some fathers got in the past by being the HEADS, the kids grew up, got jobs and the respect was nowhere to be found again. They started wondering where it went, it was never there in the first place, but they felt it was _because they're the HEAD.

If your reason for marrying a younger bride is to get UNDILUTED RESPECT, then such man has started on a very wrong track and might be in for a shocker. You think all the men with problem wives married their mates?

PaperLace:
How exactly is she stubborn?
Stubbornness could either be negative or positive. Happiness in marriage isn't a function of age.


Lol @ head position.
You guys are so fixated on this head, no one is dragging it with you.
Women are not tricking anyone, it is simple human relationship.

You deserve to be respected_ yes, but when someone is deserving of something, you have RIGHTFULLY EARNED it. So, you earn respect dear. If you are not worthy of respect, you won't get it just because you're the HEAD. You might get a pseudo-respect, which would fall like a pack of cards during tough times, but not respect itself.

It's that type of respect some fathers got in the past by being the HEADS, the kids grew up, got jobs and the respect was nowhere to be found again. They started wondering where it went, it was never there in the first place, but they felt it was _because they're the HEAD.

If your reason for marrying a younger bride is to get UNDILUTED RESPECT, then such man has started on a very wrong track and might be in for a shocker. You think all the men with problem wives married their mates?

you are very funny ...I can't help laughing. I like the way you write. OK...First the relationship between father and children is quite distinct from what exist between partners. Secondly it is easier for a Man to forgive a much younger partner than a partner of same age bracket. The truth is most men are not emotionally aware of this trait. If I get married to a lady of 22 I will tolerate her more than a lady of 30. It is a natural phenomenon for men. As a man you are likely to expect more from your wife of same age bracket! When you marry a woman you are well older than you see her as a partner you need to guide. Her excesses can be overlooked without thinking twice. And when she disrespect you, it doesn't get to you. On the long run you will profit from it too as a man. Women age faster and they are weaker, health complexities who will take care of whom? My dad is 74 my mum is 61 ...he still gets a massage from his wife. My mum still go to the market, wear trousers and look slays...loooolllll... my mum bathes him ensures he gets his medication at the right time. My dad don't eat any food unless prepared by his wife . My mum manages his agriculture business, helps him with his banking transactions gives us full updates on his health. They have maids "trust me you can't live with my dad"...Imagine if they were of same Age? Please on this Aspect I refuse to be westernised. If I am ever going to get married (God willing) it will be nothing short of a 10year gap. When the age difference is glaring "sometimes" respect flows naturally. I envy the treatment my dad gets from his wife. I can't be shaking and my wife too shaking. At least before she starts shaking I am already dining with my ancestors....

Marxxx:
you are very funny ...I can't help laughing. I like the way you write. OK...First the relationship between father and children is quite distinct from what exist between partners. Secondly it is easier for a Man to forgive a much younger partner than a partner of same age bracket. The truth is most men are not emotionally aware of this trait. If I get married to a lady of 22 I will tolerate her more than a lady of 30. It is a natural phenomenon for men. As a man you are likely to expect more from your wife of same age bracket! When you marry a woman you are well older than you see her as a partner you need to guide. Her excesses can be overlooked without thinking twice. And when she disrespect you, it doesn't get to you. On the long run you will profit from it too as a man. Women age faster and they are weaker, health complexities who will take care of whom? My dad is 74 my mum is 61 ...he still gets a massage from his wife. My mum still go to the market, wear trousers and look slays...loooolllll... my mum bathes him ensures he gets his medication at the right time. My dad don't eat any food unless prepared by his wife . My mum manages his agriculture business, helps him with his banking transactions gives us full updates on his health. They have maids "trust me you can't live with my dad"...Imagine if they were of same Age? Please on this Aspect I refuse to be westernised. If I am ever going to get married (God willing) it will be nothing short of a 10year gap. When the age difference is glaring "sometimes" respect flows naturally. I envy the treatment my dad gets from his wife. I can't be shaking and my wife too shaking. At least before she starts shaking I am already dining with my ancestors....

Lol, so you think a good wife should take care of you like a new born baby. But you pray you are not alive to ever take care of her too. According to you, you can't be shaking and your wife is shaking too. Abi? Chai, women have suffered. And it's not like your papa will even be rewarding her by satisfying her sexually, this one she has to bath him. Please when he dies find your mum a fresh meat so she can enjoy her life small before going to meet her ancestors. Women have emotional needs too and deserve to be pampered.

You claim women are weaker, but it's your father pretending to be a new born baby. Can't eat, sleep or function without his mother/wife being there abi? Your mother is his mother, wife, secretary, nurse, doctor, cook, baby sitter, communications director, business director and accountant. Yet she's weaker somehow. Lol. Your father owes her people a lot for the value he gets out of her. Chai!

Marxxx:
As a man you are likely to expect more from your wife of same age bracket! When you marry a woman you are well older than you see her as a partner you need to guide. Her excesses can be overlooked without thinking twice. And when she disrespect you, it doesn't get to you. On the long run you will profit from it too as a man. Women age faster and they are weaker, health complexities who will take care of whom? ..

That was just an analogy on the whole HEAD issue, because the HEAD is very important to some of you guys.
My point is simple, your wife wouldn't respect you just because you're 10yrs older. Your husband won't treat you any better just because you're 10yrs younger.
If your mum had any extremely bad trait, even with her young age and wearing trouser_ that marriage wouldn't be enjoyable for either of them. Your mum tolerates your dad, not because he is older. I am sure if you ask her, that won't be her answer.

Happiness in a marriage isn't about age difference, it goes beyond that. On this same NL_ I can mention guys that have sworn never to marry someone below their age. Men differ...humans differ.

Women age faster and are weaker? Yet your weaker mum is doing all that for the HEAD. Weakness just got a new definiton.
Thanks for the compliment .

PaperLace:

That was just an analogy on the whole HEAD issue, because the HEAD is very important to some of you guys.
My point is simple, your wife wouldn't respect you just because you're 10yrs older. Your husband won't treat you any better just because you're 10yrs younger.
If your mum had any extremely bad trait, even with her young age and wearing trouser_ that marriage wouldn't be enjoyable for either of them. Your mum tolerates your dad, not because he is older. I am sure if you ask her, that won't be her answer.

Happiness in a marriage isn't about age difference, it goes beyond that. Speak for yourself , on this same NL_ I can mention guys that have sworn never to marry someone below their age. Men differ...humans differ.

Thanks for the compliment .

Call any man into a fairly dark room without a door and window ask him do you prefer a much younger wife or a wife of same age bracket...remember this room is where you spend eternity...Every sane man will crave a younger wife. You see dearest so many things have affected the male specie over the years so their choices is understood. If you are married ask your husband to be frank with you I believe he will explain better but these days people like to be socially correct. How can a sane Man marry a woman older than him. Look I have travelled to 40 countries over 100 cities the only country where I believed young men married older women for love is Japan. That is because most japanese women prefer younger guys (let me spare you the details). Others were because of the earning powers. My colleagues will tell me distinctly. Older women elite status...or just because of a social craze and they all cheats...

Marxxx:
Call any man into a fairly dark room without a door and window ask him do you prefer a much younger wife or a wife of same age bracket...remember this room is where you spend eternity...Every sane man will crave a younger wife. You see dearest so many things have affected the male specie over the years so their choices is understood. If you are married ask your husband to be frank with you I believe he will explain better but these days people like to be socially correct. How can a sane Man marry a woman older than him. Look I have travelled to 40 countries over 100 cities the only country where I believed young men married older women for love is Japan. That is because most japanese women prefer younger guys (let me spare you the details). Others were because of the earning powers. My colleagues will tell me distinctly. Older women elite status...or just because of a social craze and they all cheats...

You can't define sane for millions of men.
I repeat, there are SANE men who want to marry their mates. Not every man wants a wife to babysit him. On this NL, there was a thread on dating older ladies, guys admitted being attracted to older ladies!

They are all SANE, okay?
Marry your 10yrs younger wife and leave others to their choices.

Earning power? Nice reason.
After all you want a younger wife to babysit you when you start shaking.

Marxxx:
Call any man into a fairly dark room without a door and window ask him do you prefer a much younger wife or a wife of same age bracket...remember this room is where you spend eternity...Every sane man will crave a younger wife. You see dearest so many things have affected the male specie over the years so their choices is understood. If you are married ask your husband to be frank with you I believe he will explain better but these days people like to be socially correct. How can a sane Man marry a woman older than him. Look I have travelled to 40 countries over 100 cities the only country where I believed young men married older women for love is Japan. That is because most japanese women prefer younger guys (let me spare you the details). Others were because of the earning powers. My colleagues will tell me distinctly. Older women elite status...or just because of a social craze and they all cheats...

My father married an older woman, my mother. My father is a tall, very handsome man and loaded.
And if you tell him that he is insane, you will get an in.sanely painful punch in your face. He takes no nonsense.

Speak for yourself, not for millions of other men. Everyone is different. Diversity is at the basis of this world in case you have not noticed.

PaperLace:

You can't define sane for millions of men.
I repeat, there are SANE men who want to marry their mates. Not every man wants a wife to babysit him. On this NL, there was a thread on dating older ladies, guys admitted being attracted to older ladies!

They are all SANE, okay?
Marry your 10yrs younger wife and leave others to their choices.

Earning power? Nice reason.
After all you want a younger wife to babysit you when you start shaking.

they are not well trust me! NL is just a forum speak with people one on one...at first they might give you a sketchy response...but if they sit and examine their heads quite well they will reason better...alright bye

forzarush:
Age makes no difference,its either you can deal or not. As for 'its a hard thing dealing with a stubborn woman in marriage sha', did you marry one? People married the 'stubborn' women. Just see if there are other values you admire and find her 'mumu button'. That stubbornness might work positively often.

EXACTLY

PaperLace:
How exactly is she stubborn?
Stubbornness could either be negative or positive. Happiness in marriage isn't a function of age.


Lol @ head position.
You guys are so fixated on this head, no one is dragging it with you.
Women are not tricking anyone, it is simple human relationship.

You deserve to be respected_ yes, but when someone is deserving of something, you have RIGHTFULLY EARNED it. So, you earn respect dear. If you are not worthy of respect, you won't get it just because you're the HEAD. You might get a pseudo-respect, which would fall like a pack of cards during tough times, but not respect itself.

It's that type of respect some fathers got in the past by being the HEADS, the kids grew up, got jobs and the respect was nowhere to be found again. They started wondering where it went, it was never there in the first place, but they felt it was _because they're the HEAD.

If your reason for marrying a younger bride is to get UNDILUTED RESPECT, then such man has started on a very wrong track and might be in for a shocker. You think all the men with problem wives married their mates?

I wish my ex. Could read this

Equation have balance na

PaperLace:
On this same NL_ I can mention guys that have sworn never to marry someone below their age. Men differ...humans differ..

Are you keeping a dossier on Nairaland guys? What's the catch?

Marxxx:
you are very funny ...I can't help laughing. I like the way you write. OK...First the relationship between father and children is quite distinct from what exist between partners. Secondly it is easier for a Man to forgive a much younger partner than a partner of same age bracket. The truth is most men are not emotionally aware of this trait. If I get married to a lady of 22 I will tolerate her more than a lady of 30. It is a natural phenomenon for men. As a man you are likely to expect more from your wife of same age bracket! When you marry a woman you are well older than you see her as a partner you need to guide. Her excesses can be overlooked without thinking twice. And when she disrespect you, it doesn't get to you. On the long run you will profit from it too as a man. Women age faster and they are weaker, health complexities who will take care of whom? My dad is 74 my mum is 61 ...he still gets a massage from his wife. My mum still go to the market, wear trousers and look slays...loooolllll... my mum bathes him ensures he gets his medication at the right time. My dad don't eat any food unless prepared by his wife . My mum manages his agriculture business, helps him with his banking transactions gives us full updates on his health. They have maids "trust me you can't live with my dad"...Imagine if they were of same Age? Please on this Aspect I refuse to be westernised. If I am ever going to get married (God willing) it will be nothing short of a 10year gap. When the age difference is glaring "sometimes" respect flows naturally. I envy the treatment my dad gets from his wife. I can't be shaking and my wife too shaking. At least before she starts shaking I am already dining with my ancestors....

Stop saying what you do not know.

Age in marriages is not the issue, even for women. Maturity and understanding on the woman's part is very crucial so also on the man's part. Every challenge related to age stems from understanding, maturity, values, priorities, spirituality, aspirations, etc.

I know of a couple, the wife is 3 years older than the husband and SHE IS CURRENTLY THE BREAD-WINNER.
It will surprise you that this woman whom I know very well not only respects the husband but also leaves her atm with him, sends money to the husband's mother every month, pays 95% of the bills. The husband is not the lazy type but things aren't working out well for him for now though from time to time he has one job or the other doing.

The wife is very intelligent, wise and hardworking. She did not marry out of desperation neither was she compelled to marry him. She did not take in before marriage.


THIS WOMAN IN QUESTION IS BORN AGAIN, CHRIST JESUS LIVES IN HER.

Marxxx:
they are not well trust me! NL is just a forum speak with people one on one...at first they might give you a sketchy response...but if they sit and examine their heads quite well they will reason better...alright bye

the guy was right with what HE said. Most guys in their 30s never marry their mates, they rather go for younger women in their 20s. Women gets older quickly, so most guys go for younger women.

jusRadical:





Stop saying what you do not know.

Age in marriages is not the issue, even for women. Maturity and understanding on the woman's part is very crucial so also on the man's part. Every challenge related to age stems from understanding, maturity, values, priorities, spirituality, aspirations, etc.

I know of a couple, the wife is 3 years older than the husband and SHE IS CURRENTLY THE BREAD-WINNER.
It will surprise you that this woman whom I know very well not only respects the husband but also leaves her atm with him, sends money to the husband's mother every month, pays 95% of the bills. The husband is not the lazy type but things aren't working out well for him for now though from time to time he has one job or the other doing.

The wife is very intelligent, wise and hardworking. She did not marry out of desperation neither was she compelled to marry him. She did not take in before marriage.


THIS WOMAN IN QUESTION IS BORN AGAIN, CHRIST JESUS LIVES IN HER.

The guy is right, most guys in there 30s go for younger women in their 20s. I am a man and I can attest to that.

Fx55:
Are you keeping a dossier on Nairaland guys? What's the catch?

No, I follow threads. I bookmark the interactive and educative ones...

send him the link UIA04

jusRadical:





Stop saying what you do not know.

Age in marriages is not the issue, even for women. Maturity and understanding on the woman's part is very crucial so also on the man's part. Every challenge related to age stems from understanding, maturity, values, priorities, spirituality, aspirations, etc.

I know of a couple, the wife is 3 years older than the husband and SHE IS CURRENTLY THE BREAD-WINNER.
It will surprise you that this woman whom I know very well not only respects the husband but also leaves her atm with him, sends money to the husband's mother every month, pays 95% of the bills. The husband is not the lazy type but things aren't working out well for him for now though from time to time he has one job or the other doing.

The wife is very intelligent, wise and hardworking. She did not marry out of desperation neither was she compelled to marry him. She did not take in before marriage.


THIS WOMAN IN QUESTION IS BORN AGAIN, CHRIST JESUS LIVES IN HER.

I will still say it over and over any man who marries a woman older than him needs to be examined. Low self esteem, poverty, higher earning prospects....lust and deception is also another factor. No right thinking young man with enough money will marry a lady older than him. You may date older ladies when you have enough money, things may go wrong and you end up marrying one. But under normal conditions with the right state of mind No man will aspire to marry an older woman.