Tuesday, January 5, 2010
actress MONALISA CHINDA speaks on crashed marriage''he was beating me and the baby!''


trying to get her to talk was not an easy job,she didnt want to run anyone down she said.
finally,after explaining to her that she owes her fans her side of the story about what really went down she finally opened up on her marital status''the divorce has been granted today being december 17,2009.the judge granted me custody of my daughter and segun was given a certain percentage to contribute to the welfare of the child.i was told i would be briefed on when to go and get the rest of my things from the house''.

In an emotion laden voice,monalisa tells STELLA DIMOKO-KORKUS the hell she went through as segun dejo-richards wife.as she recounted the horrific details,the actress stopped a few times to control her shaky voice and cry tears which she confirms are tears of joy for coming out of her dissolved union alive.

this interviewer even shed a few tears hearing monlaisa cry, enjoy the interview and dont hold back the tears.

--let me go straight to the point.tell us why your marriage crashed and what you didnt do right
, hmmm,firstly i didnt plan for what happened to me,secondly,marriage is a beautiful thing and i have always loved the marriage institution.right from when i was 18yrs old,i had always wanted to get married,unfortunately i ended up with someone i thought was the right person.i tried all my best to make sure that i stayed put in my marriage even when all the odds were against me.i wanted to stay put in my marriage,carry my shoulders high and act like everything was normal but things went from bad to worse.it was all constant misunderstanding and quarelling which is normal in every marriage but not being able to sort it out as two mature people, it was just the kind of issues most marriages have but ours just got out of hand and thats why i am where i am today.

--we hear he used to beat the living daylights out of you and people would see you with scars and wounds all over your body but you would say it was something else that happened to you.can you confirm this please?
, i really dont want to get into the voilent part of what happened,yes there was voilence inthe marriage but i dont want to go into details,the vivid details is too painful to talk about.

--but he used to beat you?
, stella,like i said just now,yes there was voilence.

--you ran out of your marriage.at what point did you decide you couldnt take it anymore?
, let me tell you the truth,there was signs of violence when we were courting .you know when you fall in love with someone you just met and feel he is the one you want to be with,regardless of both our shortcomings,women we have this tendency of not facing the truth and the harsh reality that this thing can remain and become a problem if you remain with this person.i am a woman who sticks to something once i make up my mind to do it no matter what,which is not very good because you have to place yourself in a place of reason so that when your mother or older ones tell you ,something is not good for you,you listen but i didnt listen.i saw a bright future with him.i didnt want to be concerned with his short comings,especially when he gets angry and wants to get voilent,i just thought that the maturity that marriage brings would change him but he didnt change.at a point i wanted to leave 2yrs after we got married but i thought about my family,i thought about my friends,especially as i was warned to look before leaping,i thought about that and then i thought about myself.i kept thinking how people would look at me if i left the marriage,people were already saying actresses could not keep their marraiges.i considered a lot of things and so i stayed and prayed he would change but it got worse instead,so i began to pray, i wanted God to bless me with a child that would give me joyand maybe bring back some sanity into the marriage.i wanted a child to give me hope and make me stop thinking about the things i could no longer bear.when my baby arrived,i felt things would change for the better,i thought the cry of a baby in our home would make things better,i thought we would become more mature and concentrate on the baby but this didnt happen,he didnt change and i knew deep within me that if things didnt change i would leave him.six months ago after we had a very very serious altercation,i decided to leave.

---we hear he was giving your money to other girls.that you both shared a joint account and his girlfriends were enjoying your hardwork and that was part of the problem.
, point of correction,we never shared a joint account,i need to make that clear.the bible says we should be submissive to our husband and that was what i did.his money was my money and mine was his.if he was giving it to his women i didnt think that was the problem,i didnt think that was an issue,if there was basic understanding between us,i wouldnt even know that these were the things he was doing,yes he was paying for girls i heard but if there was love,he wouldnt even do these things,love covers a multitude of sins my sister.i would have forgiven him and just let it go.

---what about the accusation that your friends and family were responsible for your behaviour and they were the reason the marraige had problems.like he mentioned emem isong taking you around night clubs,he mentioned rita dominic,he mentioned genevieve nnaji et al.
, first of all stella,i would like to make a public apology to my colleagues that he mentioned and rubbished in the papers,if it wasnt for me,their names wouldnt have been mentioned.there was no need going into the details he did that my friends were the ones responsible,at what point?if i was doing all the things he said,i am sure people would have seen me and written these things he said.i maintained my stand in my marriage,i never used to attend social gatherings because i was not really happy,i mean what was i going out for?i am thinking that now but then i wasnt thinking that way.when people invited me to events,i always gave one excuse or the other.my family were in support of me regardless of the fact that they didnt like what was happening in the union.i mean which family would sit back and enjoy hearing their child is going through what i went through?


---was there a time he was in your family house and they swept him out with a broom?

, what?did he say that?this is the first time i am hearing of it.that is not true.

---is it true that your uncle mr kool the musician did not want your marriage to segun to work out because his own marriage had hit the rocks?

---has my uncles marriage hit the rocks?between you and i,you know mr kools marriage is not going anywhere.it is intact.it has not even hit a stone talkless of the rocks.even if they didnt like him because of what he was doing to their daughter,why didnt he go out of his way to make them change their view and not think the way they did of him?if this people were not happy with him,they are my relations,he should have tried to change.when he was accused of anything he would go and face them and say so what,i mean thats not good,especially not with the voilence being metted out. .

---okay you are now officially single again,how does that make you feel?are you sad?are you happy?what emotion do you feel?

, mixed feelings.i am happy that i came out of that marriage with my whole body intact.i didnt loose an eye,a leg or a hand and my baby is intact as well and nothing happened to her physically or mentally.there are challenges as a single woman,you and i know that.i am satisfied with where i am right now.i am happy with where God has brought me and i am happy i had the strenght to walk away from what was happening to me before it was too late to do so.


---so there is no iota of truth in the talk that your problems began as a result of the money globacom paid you?
, that talk is so shallow.how long have i been in this career and how much i have been making?why will the globacom money that is supposed to bless us be the reason that i left?there is nothing as beautiful as marriage,i know what marriage is,my parents were together before my dad died i had always wanted to marry because of the beautiful example my parents marriage was.no amount of money can come between a husband and wife if there is understanding between them,i was with this man through thick and thin,do you know what i went through with him?no,no,no,no please, he should just go.


---its been a while between when your ex husband granted those interviews where he took you to the cleaners,why didnt you respond then,why now?

, why now?because it has all died down now and i personally do not like the way people have been talking about me and the marriage i was in,i have heard things that are not true,things that are unbeliveable and unprintable.i think i owe it to the public and my fans who heard the other side to hear my side and know what i went through.if i had died in this marriage,the story would have been different,i would never have had a chance to talk,so why not talk now that i made it out alive from that marriage.i loved my husband to death,love is for two people not for one person,you have to love each other,not one person loving and giving everything and not getting enough back.

---your ex husband gave us the impression that you were someone who let family and friends make decisons for you,so tell us now,what kind of person are you?
, i am not a confrontational person,i am not the type that would want to quarell in public over issues that we can talk about in the bedroom.i dont listen to people once i make up my mind about something.on my own jeje,i just decided that rather for the love to kill me let me kill the love;i decided to save my life and that of my child.i took off and left everything,i just left with my child and we only had on the clothes we wore on that day.i dont like trouble,i love peace,i shy away from problems because i dont like them,when i see that the problem has subsided i can stick out my neck again,thats how i am.i am a straight forward person,i tell it as it is but i dont do it in the heat of the monent,i do it when there is silence.

---you didnt add very forgivng to how you described yourself.didnt segun beg you to come back home?why didnt you forgive him and give him another chance?

, stella i have forgiven him,i have but i cannot go back.it is unfortunate but i cant go back,never.

, why do you think segun was beating you so much?was there something you were doing that made him loose his grip on sanity and beat you?

----there are issues he could not deal with and i guess he got his release from beating.at first it used to shock me but later i used to run for cover and i used my child as a shield to stop him but he would beat me and the child mercilessly as well.i never used to talk back at him or provoke him because i knew that would amount to my being beaten and i used to avoid that.segun got his kicks from beating me and the baby,maybe it was a normal thing to do for him.anyway like i said,it got worse and i ran!

--now that you are out from this marriage without loosing any body part,how would you want to help people who are going through the same thing you went through but cannot break free because they are not financially or emotionally strong?

, marriage is a very sensitive thing,it is only you,on your own you will just get up and askGod what is this?what happened to me?i used to look at myself in the mirror and say God i am better than this,take me out of this misery,i used to talk to the mirror.stella,i wasnt myself anymore,i was begining to beleive in the lies the marraige told me,i was telling myself that maybe i wasnt normal,maybe i was useless,maybe i was mad, so many maybes.i didnt listen to my mum,my brothers and sisters or my uncle.they allowed me to go in and be happy and make it right but it didnt turn out right.so on my own nobody told me,i just carry my pikin and i run!i cant tell the next person what to do because no marriage is the same,if you are being beaten,molested or whatever just talk to God and apply wisdom.i really want to do something later,maybe a talk show or an NGO,i want to go out there and fight for women who are being molested in thier marraiges but right now i want to get my act together first.

---your ex hubby denied ever laying a land on you,he swore you could not come out to say he beat you.

, its not sometihng one would want to admit in public that he was beating up his wife.my ex husband knows how to twist every story to his advantage.

--okay,lets move on,apart from your crashed marraige,2009 was a good year for your career right?
, yes.

---what are your plans for the future?

, i want to be able to concentrate on my career and my brand as a glo ambassador.we have a school we just opened,royal arts academy,its a trainig centre for students who want to acquire skills,just general entertainment,i want to concentrate on that and other projects that will come up.

---if you had a wish what would you wish for?.

, i would wish for the best things in life because they are free.i would wish for Gods constant protection and love.

---what message do you have for your fans out there,the ones who would be reading this interview

, they should take me for who i am ,all what i have said in this interview is the truth.i am not trying to run down anybody,just trying to set the records straight.they should pray for me.

---thank you for this interview monalisa,heres wishing you all the best things in life
, you are welcome and thank you.

http://stella-dimokokorkus..com/

Isn't her Ex, Dejo-Richards? The guy who was involved in some capacity with Kelvin Luciano's Questionmark EntertainmenT? Na wa o! All these handsome men who turn out to be wife beaters sef. Before, it was Frank Edoho beating his wife, now it's Dejo-Richards beating Monalisa. It only goes to show all that glitters is not gold. Anyhow sha, there are 3 sides to this story - Her side, Dejo's side and the Truth. If what she's saying is true, she should have given him the[b] Madea's Family Re-union treatment[/b] a long time ago

Hmmmn, "the rich also cry". This is terrible, u see people smiling and bubbling, u wish u were in their shoes, but u don't know wats going thru their mind, u don't know the challenges they are facing. But must the marriages of celebrities always crash. Anyways, good thing she's out.

Monalise,i've always liked you.Am one of your fans.Thank God you are out alive.

Dis so called fine boys alws end up beating deir wives.If what she says is true.Den she has done d right thing,i am indeed hapy 4 her.

semid4lyfe:

Isn't her Ex, Dejo-Richards? The guy who was involved in some capacity with Kelvin Luciano's Questionmark EntertainmenT? Na wa o! All these handsome men who turn out to be wife beaters sef. Before, it was Frank Edoho beating his wife, now it's Dejo-Richards beating Monalisa. It only goes to show all that glitters is not gold. Anyhow sha, there are 3 sides to this story - Her side, Dejo's side and the Truth. If what she's saying is true, she should have given him the[b] Madea's Family Re-union treatment[/b] a long time ago

is Frank Edoho and wife still together? well if Monalisa's story is true,i thank God she came out alive.

Thank God she's out. Better be single than live with a demon in the name of marriage. Her life and baby's life is more important than the farce the ex wants her to die in.

stillwater:

Thank God she's out. Better be single than live with a demon in the name of marriage. Her life and baby's life is more important than the farce the ex wants her to die in.

Thank you, exactly what i said in the family section yesterday, God does not like divorce like someone said, so we are expected to die all in the name of marriage

there are two sides to every marriage story.
even after hearing from the two of them, you will never know the truth.
so they should choose to do whatever they desire and leave us in peace.