I wasn't at first. But that lasted about 2 weeks until we had our first IED attack.

The vehicle in front of me was hit, I'm gunner so we pull up and I went to bang on the window but first noticed that a VERY large piece of shrapnel is sticking out of their smokestack right at eyeball level.

Meaning, had hajji, the driver taken a second or two longer, that piece of metal about the size of my chest, would have split my head into two.
That’s when it hit me that I could actually die in combat, it was an unsettling and quiet moment before my platoon leader whacked me on the leg and yelled. “GENTRY, STOP FUCKING AROUND UP THERE OR I’LL COME UP THERE AND PUT MY BOOT IN YOUR ASS”
He was a salty old former MP NCO who took a direct commission to avoid being forced into retirement.

He knew I just had my “come to Jesus moment” as they called it when I soldier first realized he wasn't immortal, he did his job and subtly got me snapped out of the daze and back focused on the mission.

Our guys were safe except one of them blew out an eardrum.

But yeah, soldiers are trained to not think about their own mortality. They suppress your natural instinct to get away from danger and train you to follow orders and if you do, you will come home alive.

The first time is in the training when they tell you people are actually trying to kill you, then everyone freezes up a bit. No amount of training can prepare you for the reality of being put in mortal danger.

That’s why you have your higher tops with you, they are there to give you a loving kick in the pants, and get you back on track.

In combat, everyone reacts differently the first time and freezes up like a deer in front of a car's headlight when it dawns on them this isn't a war movie but it's real life where you can really just come into the war and within a second or so, you might take a bullet or a blast and that's all.

After that moment I can't recall ever being shocked by combat like I was that night, but I suddenly had a healthy respect for the fact we were not in training anymore.

Like anything almost dying or seeing people around you die, whether friend or foe. That is something you adjust too, the first time is the worse, the next easier, and it keeps getting easier till its second nature or till it's your turn.

I don’t know if you're ever 100% prepared when a brother in arms falls but I can tell you they did get easier to cope with each time. I wonder if that's because I became stronger or just kept losing bits of my humanity and went numb. That’s a question best left unanswered.
But yeah everyone is afraid to die in combat unless they are liars or psychopaths. That's why you have a team to support you when shit get’s real and people start coming back in body bags.

Most will freeze up a little the first time, it’s natural and as long as they can readjust focus and carry on it’s not even mentioned cause anyone that's been in combat knows how emotionally trying the first time your life is in actual mortal peril.
Combat is contradictory, you're excited it's real this time, you're scared you might die, you're afraid you'll screw up, you're confident in your team and your training.

Nothing like war brings out the true man or woman, you learn a lot about yourself when the bullets start flying, stuff that up till that moment was just speculation.

Now you want to talk about difficulty, try coming home after spending a year in a place where literally everything is trying to kill you, and readjust to civilian life.

I remember my first day back home, I went to leave and was struck with a sense of absolute terror and panic for no just reason.
It took me about 15 minutes to calm down and realize it was just my mind flipping the Bleep out I was about to leave without my rifle.
I wasn't in combat anymore I didn't need a rifle but after so long eating, sleeping, and having it by my side every minute of every day. I couldn't muster the courage to leave without it till I had time to rationally convince my combat trained mind I was no longer in combat.

#BattleBreed

Source: http://borednigerian.com.ng/soldiers-afraid-dying-battlefield/

this is so front page worthy......I can imagine the horror faced by our brave soldiers.....

Boboye4slim:
this is so front page worthy......I can imagine the horror faced by our brave soldiers.....

I wonder what I did to our Nairaland moderators that they've always refused to push my posts to FP.

I don't want to put the blame on the old woman in my village.

CodecJay:


I wonder what I did to our Nairaland moderators that they've always refused to push my posts to FP.

I don't want to put the blame on the old woman in my village.

For you to understand the real meaning of battlefield, you need to sit down with those that fought liberian civil war to hear stories of how Nigeria soilders landed at the airport and fought their way into the town.

CodecJay:


I wonder what I did to our Nairaland moderators that they've always refused to push my posts to FP.

I don't want to put the blame on the old woman in my village.

lol I don't think so, iya ojo is jejely in her hut o, don't wake the still dog abeg, dis one is on Seun and his mod goons