Please i want to know if it is possible to truly, totally abstain from having sex before and or when married.

dgreatrock:

Please i want to know if it is possible to truly, totally abstain from having sex before and or when married.

Absolutley.

However, I don't answer as a "Religionist", rather as one who places his faith in the grace of God in Christ Jesus. My personal use of the word religionist is perjorative. Appreciate yours or any others may not be.

Not to digress however, with faith and by grace its almost ridiculously easy. Again that is my personal experience. After the first few months, its like forgoing say chocolate - sorry girls - or any purely physical desire/thing.

Important not to set the wrong atmosphere or place yourself in a contrary environment though.

Being single, I wouldn't want to speak on behalf of a married couple as the dynamic is somewhat different. But if they agree !

God bless
TV

why would a married couple agree to abstinence?

By this i meant, married persons not having extra marital affairs.

dgreatrock:

By this i meant, married persons not having extra marital affairs.

Geez, I was about to say.

thats why God gave men that one woman cannot satisfy their libido to marry more if they can afford it rather than adultery,cos na hot oil and iron rod angels go pour inside ur TOTO when u die,also expect more punishments in the grave and hellfire


BE A MUSLIM and be liberated

uplawal:

thats why God gave men that one woman cannot satisfy their libido to marry more if they can afford it rather than adultery,cos na hot oil and iron rod angels go pour inside your TOTO when u die,also expect more punishments in the grave and hellfire


BE A MUSLIM and be liberated

this is one generous God, what about a woman that cannot satisfy her libido with one man, does she get a choice of marrying multiple husbands?

Renunciation of OBJECTS without the renunciation of DESIRES is SHORT-LIVED. . .no matter how hard you try.

-Mahatma Gandhi

imhotep:

Renunciation of OBJECTS without the renunciation of DESIRES is SHORT-LIVED. . .no matter how hard you try.

-Mahatma Gandhi

Dude, how does that answer OP's question?

H2O2:

Dude, how does that answer OP's question?

Not teach ripe person: waste of person.
Teach not ripe person: waste of words.

[Chinese saying]

imhotep:

Not teach ripe person: waste of person.
Teach not ripe person: waste of words.

[Chinese saying]

SMFH! will you ever stop bandying quotes?

waste of person
waste of words
ripe person
okay yeah.

H2O2:

SMFH! will you ever stop bandying quotes?

waste of person
waste of words
ripe person
okay yeah.

@H202
My dear brother, I do not mean to sound confusing or cryptic. The Gandhi quote is something to be REFLECTED upon. . . that is why I refused to make further direct comments on it. . . But note that our DESIRES are frequently the cause of many of  our problems . . .

@Imhotep. . . looks like you're propounding again the Buddha's four noble truths on desire.

@ Topic: each should have his fill. Only when sated, and then tired, and then repulsed, will deisre recede.

SeanT21:

Its harder for men to abstan from sex before marriage. For women, its easy.

In my opinion, SeanT21, it's easier for women to abstain only if they are virgins. If men and women ever get disvirgined (some people will argue that men don't get disvirgined. Whatever. I refer to their first experience of a sexual nature, so to speak), I believe in that case it's generally easier for men to abstain than for women to abstain from further sex. But then, it's just my opinion. After all, I'm a virgin 'cos I'm not yet married (Yeah I'm proud of saying that anywhere ).

Mavenb0x:

I'm a virgin 'cos I'm not yet married (Yeah I'm proud of saying that anywhere ).

I'm perplexed.
You are a virgin because you are not yet married?
or
You plan to remain a virgin until you are married?

^^lol wahala Maven, oya answer

H2O2:

I'm perplexed.
You are a virgin because you are not yet married?
or
You plan to remain a virgin until you are married?

Both of the above. Are they mutually exclusive? 

@JeSoul:

$dgreatrock

My own View and answer
It is possible to totally abstain from having sex before marriage. it base on commitment  see Daniel as example

(Dan 1:
But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.

And
It is possible to totallyabstain from having sex when married, it only depend on how the couples mat agree and how long they can hold
I know of someone who after three month of his wedding saying he is still Pure(i mean a man)

So only matured married individual can explain much better

yes and no  

No if they both reflect your personal choice.

Yes if the first implies that virginity has acquired a [new] definition

Abstinence is possible if you keep away from bad thoughts
And bad company, with God all things are possible.

mama-gee:

Abstinence is possible if you keep away from bad thoughts
And bad company, with God all things are possible.

yeaw the man just needs to exercise some self control.

Hydrogen Peroxide! 

You are splitting hairs. You want to tell me you don't understand that what I implied is that THAT is my own perspective, and I was not trying to establish a new definition for virginity? Free me abeg.

lol My dear maven, you are not in shackles, nor have i crucified you. Do not complicate a simple and direct question.
We can all engender mistruths to validate our perpsectives is all I'm saying.

What mistruths are you now engendering? What complications did I foster on your question? Didn't I answer?

And now you are talking about shackles, as if you don't understand the 9ja slang. Do you see what I was saying about splitting hairs? Im certain everyone on this thread (except for some troublemakers that will soon show up, I guess) understands all I have said perfectly. Am I even having this conversation?

@imhotep
Abeg don't leave the man to ponder and muse over a pensive quote when a direct answer would suffice.

Mavenb0x:

What mistruths are you now engendering? What complications did I foster on your question? Didn't I answer?

And now you are talking about shackles, as if you don't understand the 9ja slang. Do you see what I was saying about splitting hairs? Im certain everyone on this thread (except for some troublemakers that will soon show up, I guess) understands all I have said perfectly. Am I even having this conversation?

Oh sorry, my train of thought was different and I had to split hairs because I wanted some clarifications.  I did not cajole you into an answer.
You are about to magnify this out of proportion as I predicted.   You were never under an obligation to respond, so your "free me" riposte elicited my "you are not in shackles" reply, indicating that you are not compelled to or under confinement to proffer a response.

H2O2:

I'm perplexed.
You are a virgin because you are not yet married?
or
You plan to remain a virgin until you are married?

Its the same thing. Trying to confuse people. That Damn Berkley

SeanT21:

Its the same thing. Trying to confuse people. That Damn Berkley

Yea i know. I was just nitpicking at something, but I didn't want to phrase the question in a manner that would give that something away.
Lol, pardon me. sorry mavenb0x.

Mavenb0x:

In my opinion, SeanT21, it's easier for women to abstain only if they are virgins. If men and women ever get disvirgined (some people will argue that men don't get disvirgined. Whatever. I refer to their first experience of a sexual nature, so to speak), I believe in that case it's generally easier for men to abstain than for women to abstain from further sex. But then, it's just my opinion. After all, I'm a virgin 'cos I'm not yet married (Yeah I'm proud of saying that anywhere ).

Hmmmm. I have a friend who makes the same claim. Women "having tasted" he claims are less able to hold themselves. As much as I am loathe to believe this, a lot of what I've seen makes me wonder. In any event my empirical knowledge is at best limited and I would'nt want to make any categorical statements. Is it simply suggesting women are the weaker sex?

And so you should be, in a humble way of couse . Well done, I sincerely applaud you.

God bless

TV

Let me just add a little slang of mine.

Some ladies have always been virgins. These are called "Maintainers" as they are "maintaining".

Other ladies lose their virginity but at some point decide to start "maintaining" again. This is called "re-maintenance".

Maintenance is dreadful enough, but re-maintenance is absolutely demonic.

H2O2:

@imhotep
Abeg don't leave the man to ponder and muse over a pensive quote when a direct answer would suffice.

Actually I am against forcing things down anybody's throat. I'd rather drop the clues and let each person make his own (good) conclusion after due reflection. "Those who have ears to hear, let them hear"

Our dear poster, in my opinion, is afraid of (and worried about) the SUFFERING that acompanies abstinence. And I am saying he should look deeper into himself . . . I paste a short meditation on suffering below =>


Suffering is a sign that you're out of touch with the truth.
Suffering is given to you that you might open your eyes to the truth, that you might understand that there's falsehood somewhere, just as physical pain is given to you so you will understand that there is disease or illness somewhere.
Suffering points out that there is falsehood somewhere.
Suffering occurs when you clash with reality.
When your illusions clash with reality when your falsehoods clash with the truth, then you have suffering.
Otherwise there is no suffering.



ITS NOT ENOUGH TO RENOUNCE SOMETHING. . . YOU ALSO HAVE TO RENOUNCE YOUR DESIRE FOR THAT THING. THE BIG QUESTION IS: HOW THE HECK CAN ONE RENOUNCE DESIRE?