Robert mugabe Famously called Africa’s oldest leader, he
was born in 1924 and assumed the office
of president in 1987 – more than three
decades ago.below are some of his funny and educative quotes


ROBERT MUGABE QUOTES ON RELATIONSHIP
AND LIFESTYLE:


1. Dear ladies, if your boyfriend didn’t wish
you a happy Mother’s Day or sing Sweet
Mother for you, you should stop
breastfeeding him.


2. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking
about inner beauty because men don’t walk
around with X-rays to see inner beauty.


3. If you have attended over 100 weddings
in your life and are still single, you are not
different from a canopy.

4. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father

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5. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a ‘girlfriend’.

6. Dear sisters, don’t be deceived by a man who texts you “I miss you” only when it’s raining, because you are not an umbrella.

7. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don’t need to call those things “your breasts”. It’s called COW BELL, OUR MILK! Repeat after me, OUR MILK!

8. It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.



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10. Men sucking lady’s breast is normal because the act was learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of lady’s sucking men’s d*k is what baffles me. Where did they learn it from?

11. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw Adidas lines on your face.

12. Respect pregnant women because it’s not easy walking around with evidence that you’ve had s*x

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14. I stopped trusting ladies when my class three girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener with a mirror.

15. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a “broke” man who’s extremely good in bed.

17. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever, because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional.

18. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts that will suffer the most.

19. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.

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20. If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to schoolgirls, just buy your wife a school uniform.

21. It is every man’s dream to remove a woman’s pant one day but NOT when it’s on a drying line.

Mehn dat no. 7....

21. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.

22. We are living in a generation where people “in love” are free to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch each others’ phones because they’re “private”.

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23. My dear ladies, please don’t buy a selfie stick when your armpit itself needs a shaving stick.

24. It’s better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn’t drill.

ROBERT MUGABE QUOTES ON GAY MARRIAGE:

26. If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first.


27. Even Satan wasn’t gay; he approached naked Eve instead of naked Adam. Say no to same-sex marriage.

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28. Archbishop Tutu said it is nice to be gay, yet he has a wife, he should have begun by getting himself a man for a woman… When you are a bishop and cannot interpret the Bible, you should resign and give it to those who can. We will not compromise our tradition and tolerate homosexuality. We need continuity in our race, and that comes from the woman, and no to homosexuality. John and John, no; Maria and Maria, no…I keep pigs and the male pig knows the female one.”

ROBERT MUGABE QUOTES ON ALCOHOL INDULGENCE

33. Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.

34. Don’t drink at all, don’t smoke, you must exercise and eat vegetables and fruit

Lolzz

No 7 cracked my ribs mehn..