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When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan - Religion - Nairaland

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When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by sonofluc1fer: 7:46pm On May 20, 2017
Na so I dey my own, dey mind my business, dey take small igbo for headache wey been dey worry me.. Na so one of these dem church 'broda' sight me from far. Jump gutter, come stand for my front.

"Good day Sir, please what you're doing is not right."

I took one long drag from my joint, before staring up and down at this wretch of a being in front of me. My eyes took in a sorry image -- a pair of trousers that looked like they were torn from a cardboard box, paired with a shirt so dull it looked like it's owner was shedding skin. I felt pity and compassion rise within my very bones.

"Brother," I exhaled in his face.
"I think you need some of this in your life. Might improve your circumstances" I advised.

"No, no, no brother. You're taking this igbo to fill the holes in your chest. Jesus loves you and he can fill those holes" he said.

"Well, the only holes I see here are in your shirt. You need a tailor right now, not Jesus", I replied, my dark-red eyes almost bleeding from this man's condition.

"Well, brother, forget about the shirt. I'm just returning from a Holy Ghost crusade. The spirit of God moved so powerfully that I was thrown to the ground. And I rolled, and rolled and rolled. That's why the shirt looks so tattered. Chai my brother, but the experience enh, God moved mightily. Come and join me for the one holding tomorrow evening. I can pick you on my way back"

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Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by OtemAtum: 7:57pm On May 20, 2017
sonofluc1fer:
Na so I dey my own, dey mind my business, dey take small igbo for headache wey been dey worry me.. Na so one of these dem church 'broda' sight me from far. Jump gutter, come stand for my front.

"Good day Sir, please what you're doing is not right."

I took one long drag from my joint, before staring up and down at this wretch of a being in front of me. My eyes took in a sorry image -- a pair of trousers that looked like they were torn from a cardboard box, paired with a shirt so dull it looked like it's owner was shedding skin. I felt pity and compassion rise within my very bones.

"Brother," I exhaled in his face.
"I think you need some of this in your life. Might improve your circumstances" I advised.

"No, no, no brother. You're taking this igbo to fill the holes in your chest. Jesus loves you and he can fill those holes" he said.

"Well, the only holes I see here are in your shirt. You need a tailor right now, not Jesus", I replied, my dark-red eyes almost bleeding from this man's condition.

"Well, brother, forget about the shirt. I'm just returning from a Holy Ghost crusade. The spirit of God moved so powerfully that I was thrown to the ground. And I rolled, and rolled and rolled. Chai my brother, come and join me for the one tomorrow evening. I can pick you on my way back"

cheesy
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by OtemAtum: 7:59pm On May 20, 2017
I joined a crusade yesterday too, after more than a year of not being in a Christian gathering. They played a poorly scripted film of Brother Gbade for them and many of these emotional beings were rushing to give their lives to Jesus because of the fearful things they performed in the film. Imagine, it was Brother Gbade's mother in the village that was the 'witch' behind his problem. Lol.

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Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by Niflheim(m): 8:16pm On May 20, 2017
So rolling on the ground like an "insane maggot" is now considered a virtue in Christianity?

Thank god for creating individualistic philosophies like "La veyan Satanism" and Luciferianism!!!

1 Like

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by Droldnallufepoh: 8:26pm On May 20, 2017
following
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by hahn(m): 9:16pm On May 20, 2017
sol cheesy

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by enshy: 9:22pm On May 20, 2017
Niflheim:

So rolling on the ground like an "insane maggot" is now considered a virtue in Christianity?

Thank god for creating individualistic philosophies like "La veyan Satanism" and Luciferianism!!!
And how is it any atheists business what is virtue in Christianity?
I bet you dont even what 'virtue' means at all
Biko try harder....I couldnt help but notice you naivity!

2 Likes

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by enshy: 9:26pm On May 20, 2017
OtemAtum:
I joined a crusade yesterday too, after more than a year of not being in a Christian gathering. They played a poorly scripted film of Brother Gbade for them and many of these emotional beings were rushing to give their lives to Jesus because of the fearful things they performed in the film. Imagine, it was Brother Gbade's mother in the village that was the 'witch' behind his problem. Lol.
Never surprised Otem.
You spew rubbish consistently...Your brother with moniker starting with 'o' like yours came up with a disaster today.
He has hope cos ure still on top!

2 Likes

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by enshy: 9:30pm On May 20, 2017
sonofluc1fer:
Na so I dey my own, dey mind my business, dey take small igbo for headache wey been dey worry me.. Na so one of these dem church 'broda' sight me from far. Jump gutter, come stand for my front.

"Good day Sir, please what you're doing is not right."

I took one long drag from my joint, before staring up and down at this wretch of a being in front of me. My eyes took in a sorry image -- a pair of trousers that looked like they were torn from a cardboard box, paired with a shirt so dull it looked like it's owner was shedding skin. I felt pity and compassion rise within my very bones.

"Brother," I exhaled in his face.
"I think you need some of this in your life. Might improve your circumstances" I advised.

"No, no, no brother. You're taking this igbo to fill the holes in your chest. Jesus loves you and he can fill those holes" he said.

"Well, the only holes I see here are in your shirt. You need a tailor right now, not Jesus", I replied, my dark-red eyes almost bleeding from this man's condition.

"Well, brother, forget about the shirt. I'm just returning from a Holy Ghost crusade. The spirit of God moved so powerfully that I was thrown to the ground. And I rolled, and rolled and rolled. That's why the shirt looks so tattered. Chai my brother, but the experience enh, God moved mightily. Come and join me for the one holding tomorrow evening. I can pick you on my way back"

We all need different things at different times
Cool the brother needed a tailor but he was on point you need Jesus!
You truly need Jesus!

2 Likes

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by OtemAtum: 9:36pm On May 20, 2017
enshy:

Never surprised Otem.
You spew rubbish consistently...Your brother with moniker starting with 'o' like yours came up with a disaster today.
He has hope cos ure still on top!

Pls stop trolling. I am sharing my own experience too, pls share yours.
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by enshy: 9:46pm On May 20, 2017
OtemAtum:


Pls stop trolling. I am sharing my own experience too, pls share yours.
Share to who? You?
Otem pls go to bed! I dont place any value on your posts, opinions, ideas at all.
You are a common day dreamer!
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by sonofluc1fer: 10:07pm On May 20, 2017
There are multiple ways to politely turn down an invite. I know of none.

"Sorry, I didn't get you. You need a partner for a mud-party?" I asked.

"No, it wasn't a mud party. It was the Holy Spirit" he replied, looking at me quizzically.

"What is this Holy Spirit"

"It's like a dove. A spiritual dove. When GOD releases it from heaven, it will come upon you and you'll just lose yourself, you won't know what you're doing"

For the first time, I showed some hesitation before dragging another puff. I was beginning to suspect my dealer had mixed some stuff with my kush. Was this real?

"Would you like to accept the Lord Jesus as your friend and personal Savior? Would you like to be born-again and filled with the Holy Ghost?" he offered.

"Your confidence and zeal impress me. This Jesus must be really lonely to want me as a friend. And as for the Holy Spirit, ask him to fill those holes in your shirt first."

"Hahah, Brother, you joke a lot. Are you not Christian?" he asked, a look of bewilderment highlighting his bushy eyebrows.

"No, I'm not."

"So, what are you"

"Human"

Something that sounded like a giggle came out his throat.
"We are all humans na. I mean, what do you believe in?"
"I believe in myself."
"You don't believe in God"

I took a pause.
"God.. I don't know.. God's just a sound. A sound we dance to. A sound we build temples for. No one's seen him, but they claim to know what he feels like. Some know him so well they call him a mystery. What's God?"

11 Likes 3 Shares

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by sonofluc1fer: 9:42am On May 21, 2017
Lalasticlala come and help my ministry. cool
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by hahn(m): 9:47am On May 21, 2017
sonofluc1fer:
Lalasticlala come and help my ministry. cool

Continue the story na
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by CltrAltDelicious(m): 9:52am On May 21, 2017
Lalasticlala come and see snake
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by OtemAtum: 12:46pm On May 21, 2017
enshy:

Share to who? You?
Otem pls go to bed! I dont place any value on your posts, opinions, ideas at all.
You are a common day dreamer!
And who asked you to place value on them
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by Deicide: 6:07pm On May 21, 2017
Too much humor
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by Oloruntobi4382(m): 6:20pm On May 21, 2017
Son of...em my chest, you no kill person pikin with laugh grin
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by Nobody: 6:41pm On May 21, 2017
grin grin
sonofluc1fer:
Na so I dey my own, dey mind my business, dey take small igbo for headache wey been dey worry me.. Na so one of these dem church 'broda' sight me from far. Jump gutter, come stand for my front.

"Good day Sir, please what you're doing is not right."

I took one long drag from my joint, before staring up and down at this wretch of a being in front of me. My eyes took in a sorry image -- a pair of trousers that looked like they were torn from a cardboard box, paired with a shirt so dull it looked like it's owner was shedding skin. I felt pity and compassion rise within my very bones.

"Brother," I exhaled in his face.
"I think you need some of this in your life. Might improve your circumstances" I advised.

"No, no, no brother. You're taking this igbo to fill the holes in your chest. Jesus loves you and he can fill those holes" he said.

"Well, the only holes I see here are in your shirt. You need a tailor right now, not Jesus", I replied, my dark-red eyes almost bleeding from this man's condition.

"Well, brother, forget about the shirt. I'm just returning from a Holy Ghost crusade. The spirit of God moved so powerfully that I was thrown to the ground. And I rolled, and rolled and rolled. That's why the shirt looks so tattered. Chai my brother, but the experience enh, God moved mightily. Come and join me for the one holding tomorrow evening. I can pick you on my way back"

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by frank317: 6:45pm On May 21, 2017
Oga... Come continue the story na, abi u no no say today na Sunday?
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by hahn(m): 7:36pm On May 21, 2017
frank317:
Oga... Come continue the story na, abi u no no say today na Sunday?

sonofluc1fer had a penchant for not ever finishing his stories

His weed does not last long. He should hook up with otem cheesy grin
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by sonofluc1fer: 7:38pm On May 21, 2017
hahn:


sonofluc1fer had a penchant for not ever finishing his stories

His weed does not last long. He should hook up with otem cheesy grin
grin grin me and frank suppose see soon. Hopefully, he has some for me.

On a serious note, got stuck with family members at a party. Make i reach house. grin
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by OtemAtum: 7:40pm On May 21, 2017
hahn:


sonofluc1fer had a penchant for not ever finishing his stories

His weed does not last long. He should hook up with otem cheesy grin
Hmm, Otem doesn't smoke. cool His inspiration is from Atum the brother of Yahweh. I detest smoke from childhood.
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by sonofluc1fer: 7:41pm On May 21, 2017
OtemAtum:
Hmm, Otem doesn't smoke. cool His inspiration is from Atum the brother of Yahweh. I detest smoke from childhood.
That's really good smoke.. The kind that convinces you it isnt. It is well with your head sha.. You fit make weed craze.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by OtemAtum: 7:44pm On May 21, 2017
sonofluc1fer:

That's really good smoke.. The kind that convinces you it isnt. It is well with your head sha.. You fit make weed craze.

Atum isn't smoke, is he?
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by sonofluc1fer: 7:47pm On May 21, 2017
OtemAtum:


Atum isn't smoke, is he?
Hahaha.
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by hahn(m): 8:01pm On May 21, 2017
OtemAtum:
Hmm, Otem doesn't smoke. cool His inspiration is from Atum the brother of Yahweh. I detest smoke from childhood.

You are on something bro. Maybe that white girl wink
Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by frank317: 8:08pm On May 21, 2017
sonofluc1fer:

grin grin me and frank suppose see soon. Hopefully, he has some for me.

On a serious note, got stuck with family members at a party. Make i reach house. grin

Lol... See u, instead of continuing with the story, u de hia de gossip

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by mrmrmister: 3:11pm On May 22, 2017
I've been laughing like a mad goat in public. grin grin

Finish your story o.

1 Like

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by terrezo2002(m): 3:32pm On May 22, 2017
But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing, among whom the god of this age has blinded the minds of those who do not believe so they would not see the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God. 2 Cor 4:3-4

When a lost man doesn't know ge is lost. What a pity

1 Like

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by Deicide: 12:20am On May 23, 2017
terrezo2002:
But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing, among whom the god of this age has blinded the minds of those who do not believe so they would not see the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God. 2 Cor 4:3-4

When a lost man doesn't know ge is lost. What a pity
Guy you no see say na mature people day here undecided

2 Likes

Re: When Holy Spirit Jam Holy Satan by Ranchhoddas: 12:38am On May 23, 2017
Guy come finish your yarn na...

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