Well, luckily we've been given access to the club's completely made up Whatsapp group, where Costa's departure has obviously been big news.
Let's take a look:
Diego Costa: Hi lads. Have you seen the screenshots I sent you? Lolz. The gaffer has completely binned me off, so I'm leaving. I'm sure all your ankles are pretty relieved.
Gary Cahill: Don't say that! None of us want you to go!
Michy Batshuayi: Well...
Diego Costa: Ha! Nah, I'm done. Apparently Milan quite fancy me, plus there's loads of money on the table from China. I could even go back to Atletico Madrid and put my feet up for a bit until their transfer ban ends.
Eden Hazard: Atletico?
Diego Costa: Yeah.
Eden Hazard: Not Real then?
Diego Costa: No, not Real. Why do you ask?
Eden Hazard: No reason.
*Eden Hazard has left the conversation*
LOADING
Kante was going on about his medals... again
Diego Costa: Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for everything and goodbye. I enjoyed my time here, and the two league winners' medals in three seasons are nice, but I've got new challenges to undertake and new people to stamp on.
N'Golo Kante: Two in THREE seasons, eh?! *winky face emoji*
Diego Costa: Shut it, you! Lol.
John Terry: Sick burn bruv.
*Gary Cahill removed John Terry from the conversation*
Gary Cahill: Sorry lads. Didn't know he was still here.
David Luiz: Lol. He keeps trying to add me on Facebook but I'm not having it. It's sad you're going though, Diego. What did the boss say?
Diego Costa: Not a lot. He just told me I wasn't in his plans for next season. I'm not that bothered. He's a bit of a knob, isn't he?
Cesc Fabregas: Yeah.
Michy Batshuayi: Yeah.
Victor Moses: No he's not.
Diego Costa: Oh hello Victor. Lost us any cup finals lately?
*Victor Moses has left the conversation*
Pedro: We'll miss you Diego!
Diego Costa: Cheers mate, and sorry again about that thing at Spurs.
Pedro: It's alright. You know I could have you in a real fight.
Diego Costa: You're having a laugh aren't you?
Pedro: Lol.
Diego Costa: Anyway, I guess this is goodbye. Good luck for next season.
Gary Cahill: Thanks Diego! Good luck to you as well.
*Gary Cahill has added Romelu Lukaku to the conversation*
Diego Costa: Too soon, Gaz. Too soon.

if you made dz up urself. Kudos


Funny

Well done OP

I clapped for you with my two palms and 10 fingers.

No lukaku should be added to by conversation