Written by: Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle
Hello Mr. Man,
I received your mail last night in which you told me you will be getting married on Saturday but you are scared.
You are scared that few years in marriage, the wonderful Sister Christian you had married would no longer love or care about you.
You are scared that she will become a pain in your neck and you want me, Mrs Frank to tell you the truth.
Hmm...
Dear brother, it depends on you ooo!
On your wedding day, as both of you looked into each other’s eyes to exchange the marital vows, it was a lump of clay that was delivered into your hands as a wife. What artistic design she becomes in the next five years is your handiwork!- the way you moulded her!
Women could nag, well it's annoying but you don't withdraw at that point but tell her to stop with love.
Watch her change little by little.
Don't say "Wifey, you can so nag! A foolish woman pulls down her house with her own hands, c'mon!"
She can never change then!... Never!
Or she is becoming very fat and you say "Iya Michaeli, see how you are fat like pig!"
She knows she has taken up some weight. With love tell her "Darling, come on, my money is obvious on your body menh. Abeg, tomorrow, we have to go enrol in a gym center. We have to maintain our bodies and shine like newly weds even when we are 60years..." follow it with a tickle on her cheeks.
No sensible woman will hear that and not want to work on herself.
See, women are naturally lovers. She can't be with a total stranger every day, get naked and clothed in front of him and never love him even if before marriage she had her doubts.
Just don't stop showing her love. Don't stop saying those sweet words. Don't stop massaging her back.
Don't stop getting up to get her the roasted corn she craves for even though it's 2am.
Don't stop saying how much you care.
Don't stop saying you are blessed to have her as a husband.
Don't just define a problem, proffer solutions!!
She is dressing shabbily, correct her by getting her the kinda clothes you would love to see on her.
Her tummy is becoming big, correct that by coming home early, help her with house chores and she would avoid eating late in the night. That issue could be solved that way.
It's magical Mr. Man!!
She will cling to you. She will love you. She will speak well of you to everyone. She will pray for you...
But, you fail to show her that she is still relevant and see her replace "Darling" with "Baba Sewa".
She will draw away. She will regret. She will become the pain in your neck.
During devotion, she will raise prayer points like “Let us pray that God will help this family to move forward. It is not the job of one person. Some women don't have husbands and they are surviving. Some have but it looks as if they are widows already. Let's pray that whatever sleep has come upon the other partner in this family, God should roll it away, e gbadura”.....
You have molded and reshapened her into someone you wouldn't even love.
Mr. Man, since you are sure that you have prayed well and God is saying its Bimpe that is the person, go get her!
Go and say ‘I do!’ without fear.
That a woman is God’s will for your life does not mean she will work like a donkey, drop some children like kangaroo, become fat like a pig and still like it when you complain that this and that are not done.
She is a woman and she has feelings.
As she pounds the yam and you shout from the sitting room for your food to be served, she hurts!
As you rolled away from her side to the
rug because little Mabel is crying leaving her alone to pet ‘her’ baby, she is in a deeper pain.
As you pushed the dish aside because you feel the salt, pepper and Maggi is too much and the yam is burnt not knowing the kind of multitasking she had done as she prepared the food. She had shook in fear that you might shout and you really did shout! She is greatly in pain at this!
Mr. Man, when next you feel she is not doing her job well, exchange roles and see that before noon, you will resign!
If Bimpe becomes a black, very fat, shabbily dressed ‘witch’ after two years, don't come to me for counselling.
You moulded her into that shape!
You are the one I will blame!
Happy married life in advance,
Mrs. Frank
Before I go,
Dear Daddy,
Has your Christian wife become undesirable? Check it out sir, it's largely your fault!
I am so sure.
-------
MORAL LESSON: The Will of God is not a machine. She feels pain. She is human, hence she needs adequate, substantial love and support from you. Give it to her and swim in love!
Good morning my dearest Mr. Man.
N. B.
The woman referred to in this write up is that which is a real woman. Not that which has gone to swallow demons.
Source: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=696845600496090&id=100005119691695&refid=8&ref=opera_speed_dial&_ft_=qid.6432144406907803467%3Amf_story_key.-3961628785806746951%3Atop_level_post_id.696845600496090&__tn__=%2As&fbt_id=696845600496090&lul&_rdr
Cc: Lalasticlala, Olajhidey22 |
I love this!
In other words, whatever our partner becomes after marriage is partly caused by us!
Though, some may not agree, but that's just the truth!
May God help us all with wisdom! |
