[center]Take away this cloak of darkness
Fold back the night and give me the day
Take down the moon and hang the sun
Heal my madness, this I pray
For the nigh is the night
And the nightmares a wait therein
Giggling like demons
Let out in the dark to play.
Terror like a torn blanket covers me,
Fear like the cold wind,
Drives shards through my chest;
I tremble like a leaf on a windy day
I am as numb as a rat, caught in nature’s fray.
Take away this cloak of darkness,
Fold back the night and give me the day
Take down the moon and hang the sun
And don’t let daddy into my room today, [/center]

If you were trying to depict a rape victim then you have a nice story but you've gotta be more graphic with less words. You've gotta use more powerful and depressing words. For a victim this is too, how do you say, gay. It's nice Estrella. Good luck

I've only written 3 poems in my life, yes I'm an amateur . I'll say it's a really nice poem.

I agree with vescucci, make it more graphic. I can see your poem in my mind, but making this image a little more vivid wouldn't hurt.

GOOD JOB!!!