How To Identify an Abuser
Fact, I have found out that
1in 3 girls have been sexually abused. We don’t know the figures for the boys. These abuses happen usually when they’re between 7 and 10 years old. There are cases of abuse of children younger and there are also cases of abuse of children that are older. But majorly, abuse occurs within these age range.
Who is likely to abuse your child? If your child is female, any male person around you is suspect. No one should be entrusted to take care of your child who’s of the opposite sex in a place that’s not open or has at least more than one person present. You’ll think this is an over reaction until you actually check the stories of the persons abused.
Most of the abusers Children have talked to me about include:
1) For house helps: their Oga. Madam’s husband or even the madam herself {for male house helps}. The person they call Daddy or Mummy.
2) For non-house-helps, ie Children who are living with their parents: Their Dad (yes you read that right!), Their Mum (yes you read that right), Uncles (and friends of uncles), people living in the same building, older cousins, Aunty’s boyfriend, family friends on visit. (One Pastor’s child was nearly raped by a pastor who visited the Dad and slept over so as to preach the next day), a small girl was nearly raped by a Priest when she was sent by her mother to go to the parish house ALONE and pay for the donation she pledged in the Church etc.
3) For children who frequent the church regularly: Pastors or Reverends, Church teachers, Children teachers, people living with the Pastor, Reverend or Church teacher, older church members.
4) For children who are left in a teacher’s care: The teacher’s husband, the teacher (himself/herself), older people living in the teacher’s house, visitors.
5) For children who are hawkers: People who invite them into their houses to sell their wares to them, people who meet them in secluded market areas.
6) For Tennant: the landlord’s son
, the landlord’s brother’s son, the landlord’s relative, the landlord himself or the landlady etc.
7) For Children: the house-help {boy or girl}, class teacher, private tutor, class-mate, aunt, uncles, visitors to the house, family relations on holidays, Church leader {Pastors, Priests, Clergy e.t.c}, Choir masters/mistress, members of the same association in the Church e.t.c
When I say children, I mean male and female children. ANY CHILD can be “sexually abused”.
And one more thing you learn from the list; the person who’s likely abusing or about to abuse your child is “around you” and could be “anyone”. Abusers aren’t far from their victims. They live very close and “threaten” the children “never” to talk or “be killed”. I’ll give further details on red flags in my next post.
Red flags are things you’ll notice and know a person may likely abuse your child. They’re not fails proof but will help greatly.
THIS IS REALITY..
Once your child says “Daddy/Mummy”, I want to tell you something then suddenly says “Don’t Worry” without seeing anybody or he/she is about saying something but when someone IMMEDIATELY comes around he/she says “Don’t Worry” follow that child up prayerfully and carefully, you will discover something has ALREADY HAPPENED or something is about to happen!
By Esther Ikeneri edited by Chibuogwu