Life generally is about trade-offs. For anything you want, you must be willing to sacrifice for it. There is nothing really free I tell you.

Many today want better quality of life, more income, more time, better living standards, health, peace, happiness, security, friendships and quality relationships. These are all good things that of course would bring satisfaction and fulfilment. But the truth is they all come with a price tag.

You see, you can’t have it all without giving up something; you can’t eat your cake and have it. You must be willing to give something to get something. That’s the way life is.

Look at your life right now, what do you really want? What is that thing you’ll get that would really make you happy and satisfied?

You see, it’s important we correctly define what we actually want. If we are not very clear on what we want, we may end up chasing the wrong thing and becoming frustrated if eventually that thing does not bring the joy and satisfaction desired.

Many today confuse means with ends, processes with accomplishments, accesses with destinations, association with relationships. They can’t really tell the difference; unfortunately they still end up frustrated.

For example, money is not an end; it’s a means to an end. Many confuse these two ideals. Money itself is nothing without an end in mind or a defined purpose for it. I’ve heard many people say I want to be rich, very rich and they are willing to work very hard to get money. Eventually when they become well off, they are still unhappy and frustrated because they mistook money for an acquisition that would bring happiness, but money doesn’t really bring happiness and satisfaction, it is when it is used for a well pre-defined purpose that it brings satisfaction and real peace. When you spend money carelessly just to acquire unnecessary material things and for selfish ends, it makes you unhappy. There is what is called buyer remorse – a bad feeling that comes after buying something you realize you never really needed. Hence, you find a lot of rich frustrated people acting in lawlessness, oppressing and intimidating the so called less privilege. This is simply because they really don’t understand what money means and its real purpose. Tragically the cash then becomes a curse.

Another example is confusing association with relationships. A good, rewarding relationship must be well defined from the start. When people begin to associate without defining the reason and the essence, it most often ends up in crisis and hurt. Association without definition is not a relationship because all relationships must be well defined. When an association is well defined, then it becomes a relationship. An association may have a name tag and yet not be well defined. For example ‘we’re friends’ is an association tag but the relationship is yet to be defined. This is because there a different kinds of friendships. If the parties involved don’t define clearly this friendship, it’s crisis waiting to happen. For every association you must have a purpose and a definition. This definition will entail the details of your own responsibilities and expectations and the other party must also share the same picture in details as far as the relationship is concerned, this is when there can be real fulfilment and satisfaction in the relationship.

In career, many confuse position with power. In fact many can’t tell the difference between the purpose of a position and the purpose of the power tied to the position.

Position in career is 100% about responsibility. It’s about what you should be doing and accomplishing. It’s about the role and function of the office. What does that office exist for? Why was it created? What are the nature, quality and degree of value expected from the position? What should the person in that position have the capacity to generate and contribute?

Positions generally are about work and responsibility, every position created in a company is for work to be done there. Now if the occupant of that position thinks more about hierarchy, levels, control, respect and class and can hardly see the work in the position as the main thing, there is going to be ineffectiveness and work crisis.

Such a one would be distracted and self-conscious, the work would cease to be priority and non- value-adding office matters would he prioritize.

Be it money, relationship or a high position in career, happiness and satisfaction would elude us after attaining, if our motives and intentions are wrongly defined.

Your motivation for a particular position or office in career should be primarily about the purpose of the office. You must be driven by a will to contribute through the office to the overall success of the business. You must come up with your strategies and plans on how to improve the capacity and value adding potentials of the office. You must be excited about engaging your creativity in making the office or position outstanding performance wise – setting new records, innovations and superior output.

It should never be about how many people now report to you, the size and beauty of your office, your official cars, perks and other benefits tied to the office. It should never be about power tussle, who rules, who controls and who’s in charge, it shouldn’t be about having your way and imposing your decision on everybody and the system in general.

You must be seen as gentle, reliable, self-controlled, thoughtful, considerate and a good listener. Because when you invest too much energy dealing with people instead of focusing on your responsibility and productivity, you’ll eventually malfunction.

Never let anything you want be absolutely about yourself, your wants and your needs, let it be about a more encompassing reason. Get money for a good reason; gun for a position in your career for a reason bigger than you. Make sacrifices, give up selfish benefits and delay your gratification for the overall purpose and good of your enterprise. I assure you it’s never a loss; you will definitely gain it back.

Everything in life is paid for, if you don’t give up something for anything, it will not bring you any satisfaction or fulfilment. What you take, you can lose but what you earn remains yours.

Don’t join the band wagon of self-centred people – those that crave for instant benefits and instant gratification; take a good look around for people like that, they always loose out at the end; lonely, rejected and irrelevant. But people that sacrifice for a great purpose and for others always reap good reward at the end of the day, in cash, in friendships, relationships, in relevance, respect and heroism. Their names and deeds are never forgotten

You may not be required to sacrifice as much as Nelson Mandela had to, Just your little bit in your own little corner, catch the spirit.

https://etimes.com.ng/give-get-muyiwa-afolabi/