This is extracted from my unpublished novel (LOST PRIDE). Constructive criticism and comments of readers will be appreciated.

CHAPTER EIGHT
Many thoughts ran through his mind has he stood transfixed before the General Manager. Since he had been working as the Permanent Representative of the Rainbow Steel Plant, he had had no cause to sit or stand one on one, or be as intimate as he was with the General Manager. Something, he sensed, must have gone wrong, either with him or his work. But he had always, in his best capacity, tried to please the company he worked for. He had in his service, consciously or unconsciously pleased himself and pleasing himself as he reasoned did not contravene pleasing his employers. Perhaps, there had been some mysterious faults on his part which he could not ascertain. He dizzily looked through the window and saw the misty cloud, which he summed, had for him a tumultuous birth. He stood still, half-shivering and half trembling, looking vaguely into vacancy. The sudden, thick, masculine voice of the General Manager brought him back to life. Mr. Adeoti the man called in his firm and deep voice. Please come and have your seat He ordered with all humility he could put up.

As Adeoti sat anxiously before the huge man, more thoughts and wonders beclouded his thought. He felt his stomach grumbling and his feet pimping out of his shoe. He expected the man to stop writing whatever it was he was writing and handed him an envelope, a sack letter and terminate the suffering he was going through. After a brief moment of ominous silence, the General Manager spoke at last.

“Mr. Adeoti He said, mechanically dropping his fountain pen on his on the table before him, and balancing his heavy weight on the chair. I was the one who called you. I should have told you this before this moment but todays work kept me busy more than ever Adeoti answered with unnecessary affirmative nod of his head in an attempt to make his interlocutor see how attentive he was.
Rainbow Steel Plant is aware of your loyalty and meritorious service to its growth and successes. We realize that since youve been working has our Permanent Representative, you have taken our interest to the prime place in your heart. Mr. Adeoti, I, with all sincerity, wish to tell you that weve never had any contrition having you. This company in this wise, finds thanking you not compensating enough. In the name of Rainbow Steel plant and on behalf of the entire Board of Directors of this company, I hereby present you this letter. He handed Adeoti a neat, brown envelope.

Despite the fact that he did not know the content of the letter, he was overwhelmed with joy. He was within him, celebrating the unrevealed news, which locked within the wrapped envelope. He unconsciously pried open the envelope while he foolishly asked May I read the letter. The General Manager seeing him reading the letter already could not help laughing at the unintended question.

Adeoti read through the letter and exclaimed, with the letter still in his hand. I, a branch Manager! But but He hanged up, searching for the right words to use.
“That is it, Mr. Adeoti. You deserve more than this The General Manager explained. Many outsiders have bided for it but we found it reasonable promoting you to that post. After all, a known devil is better than an unknown angel. You just dont let us down He finalizes with an assuring look.
“So the cloud was a sing of my triumph This was a comment that remained sealed in his mind.

Adeoti was full of appreciation. He could not hide his feelings from the General Manager. He pledged his loyalty and allegiance to the company and promised to be as efficient has ever. He didnt stop in his office. He went in gathered his files, and headed for the garage to pick his car. He had resolved to return home and celebrate his fortune, a fortune of substantial rise in his salary, with his friends. He drove out of the garage, defying the warning of the climate which was announcing the outburst of rain.

The road was narrow and wet. Although the downpour was not heavy, it soaked the earth with water and the pathways were flooded to the brim. Pedestrians had already vacated the street. Even some cars, whose owners considered driving in such weather unsafe, were parked at both sides of the road. All activities seamed to be on hold for the rain to stop. But it was not the kind of rain that stops as soon as it started. Adeoti loved driving in such weather since he would not have to swerve frequently to avoid colliding with other road users. He drove with exhilaration, pleasure, leisure and utmost satisfaction. He must get home before it stopped raining.

As he was driving, he recalled his luck. His lifestyle would definitely improve. So, it pays to be honest. He thought almost loudly to himself. The weekend was going to be fantastic for him and his friends. Was he in Alaba, his mother would celebrate such ground achievement to everyones delight and amusement. Immediately he remembered his mother, his memory began playing tricks on him. Even though he was holding the steering firmly, he recalled the song his mother used to sing to him, particularly the one she sang to him that very day he defeated Aro, the most skilful wrestler in the village. He remembered how delighted he was, that evening, when he was borne shoulder high, cheered and praised by his age mates, and called all sorts of names he assumed no one in the history of man had ever been called. He was the warrior of all warriors, the challenger of vicious pythons, the champion of all time. He was extremely happy.

Likewise, while he drove, he could hear his mother sing his praise song. He could hear his peers cheering and praising him. He was unconsciously singing along with his mother. With time, he began whistling the song to the blowing breeze and using his head to follow the pace of its rhythm. He was still not satisfied with this. His right hand surreptitiously yielded to the tempo of the song while the other hand manned the steering with levity.
I must be careful” he said aloud. I must not let the whole business be spoilt by being Damn it! The worst he feared had happened almost before he thought of it. His car had struck something. He couldnt tell what it was. He was visibly shocked and worried. Could he have slammed a stone or a goat in the middle of the road? A goat? He thought. What goat moves about the road in such weather? He put his car engine to a halt and rushed out.

He could not believe the sight that awaited him. He had hit, nearly killed a lady. As he approached the lady who laid lifelessly on the wet road, right beneath his car, grasping for breath, he let out a shriek, his head buried under the cover of his trembling hands. He stood still like a statue, staring aimlessly at the lady who was visibly in pain.
“So you are the one sent to compromise my joy. You are the manipulative weapon of my enemies? He thought still gazing stupidly at the poor lady. Well, youve missed it. Youve scored no poin!t” He started again. its over-ingenuous and complacency of pestle that makes it allowed itself to be thrown into boiling water. You surely have missed it!

He would have left her groaning, fighting for life. He would have driven off, but something stopped him. Something persuaded, forced him to help the ill-fortune lady. Whatever it was that persuaded him, perhaps his scruple, he could not tell. Against his will, he knelt before the lady he tagged the object of his doom. He was crying profusely, probably for his own misfortune or for that of the lady. He lifted her, carried her into his car, and drove off. He knew he was in trouble, the trouble he had no inkling how to disentangle himself.

You need to quote your dialogues.. There are some ambiguous sentences there..
Punctuation marks in the work need revisiting..

For the place he hits the lady. I think he would have seen her, even if it was within a few seconds. Another way that place can transcend is to say he was trying to reach for his phone to call his mother, but the phone fell. Since no one seemed to be on the way, he thought it was a risk worth taking. So, he bent to pick the phone and that was when he slammed into something.... blah blah blah..


Meanwhile, you can't think almost to yourself.

However, you have a fine story line. The action, reaction, and counter reaction are averagely perfect. You can do more... Improve the character by giving him something else to love.

You can drop a foreshadow by making us see some of his quirks. You can show us that he doesn't see things whenever he was in deep thought. A way to do this is to show him running into coworkers due to excitement or fear.
And if you go for the phone, show us how he kept staring at his phone within the office. So that it won't look like coincidence. Prepare the readers and let them say 'God catch him' even though he is the protagonist...



Meanwhile, if you use grammarly, it would bring more grammatical error to your notice. Keep writing bro...

Thanks a lot for the comments; observations, corrections and suggestions. I will look into them.
Thanks, once again. God bless!