TYPES OF HUSBANDS

MR. MONKEY Mr. Monkey is only married on paper but in reality he is still a bachelor. He married because of some family pressures, maybe impregnating the girl out of wedlock. Monkey is not responsible, he doesn’t realize he is now a man and has a wife and child(ren) to look after. He still hangs around with his bachelor friends. They go out, drink and be merry with young girls and his car pumps out loud music, it’s actually a mobile disco. His house is like a lodge to him, he only comes home to sleep. He sleeps out once in a while and has his friends to testify to his wife that he slept at their place after drink or when the car had broken down. He is really a nuisance to the family.

MR. LION He is very violent and is always boiling like acid and suffers from mood swings. His home is run through intimidation and dictatorship. There are strict rules and regulations for the wife and children and whoever breaks these is thoroughly beaten. His home is run like a high school. There are strict meal times and heavy padlocks at the gate. He takes pride in being in charge and behaves like a high school perfect. Half the time he is engaging in compensatory behaviour; verbally and physically abusing his wife and children to compensate for his inadequacies elsewhere especially at the workplace.

MR. GORILLA This one wants to be treated like an “Igwe’’ (a King). He treats his wife and children like his subjects. He wants the wife and children to perform some traditional respect gestures. He doesn’t want to be called by his first name. The children found out his first name by mistake on a utility bill and they enjoy using this name when he is away and they are gossiping about him. When his food is served, the wife kneels and puts food in front of him and she retreats two metres and kneels again and announces that she has brought the food, as if he is not aware. He eats from plates that have lids. Only the wife knows what he is eating. The children don’t. Gorilla has a strong rural background and has a number of beasts at his rural home/farm, where he goes almost every weekend. The cattle are his friends, they are more important than the wife and children for he spends most of his free time with them than with the family. The cattle are not sold to improve his life; he delights in seeing them multiply and enjoys the numbers. He’s a very stingy man.


MR. COCKEREL He is that man who has a soft spot for women. They are his friends, just friends; he has no relationships with them. He is a husband for every women; he doesn’t want to see a woman cry and is given to caring for these other women than his own wife. He gives these other women more than his wife in terms of his resources and time. At the work place, the women know him and they take advantage of him and take loans they never payback.

MR. BABOON He is very selfish, he thinks about himself first before the family. He is the best dressed in the family. His favourite word is ‘my’. Everything is HIS – my car, my house, my wife, my children, my trees, my lizards (those that hang around his house). He is a very greedy man. He is heavily involved in what happens in the kitchen, even knows how may slices are in a sliced loaf of bread and how many oranges are on his orange tree. He doesn’t consider the emotions of the wife and the children. He is a dry man with no sense of humour and he rarely smiles and takes life too seriously.

MR. FOX He is a very cunning man. He doesn’t care much about the marriage. He uses his wife to solve his own personal and extended family problems. He knows his wife’s weaknesses and capitalizes on these to use the wife for his personal gain. When he needs the wife to do something, he is friendly and ‘loving’ and when he gets what he wants he relapses to his usual dry self. His habits are very fast and his eyes swift, he won’t look at you directly in the eye, speaks very fast as if he is reciting a poem. It’s not clear what exactly he does for a living but he is always in town running from one corner to the other.

MR.TICK Is a very lazy husband. He lives off his wife; he is literary hanging on his wife’s skirt. He’s stuck to the wife because of her money. He is dependent on the wife as much as the children. He is very loving in his own way – fond of calling the wife all sorts of little nothings, honey, sweetheart, sweety, lovely and all but will siphon money off the wife and spends it with other women. He has no initiative and has negated his role as a bread winner in the family.

MR. PUPPY This is a husband who is a cry baby, very childish and irresponsible. He is mummy’s boy. Behaves as if he is married to his mother. He cannot make a decision without consulting his mother (and sisters). His mother and sisters run his home and family. He is always comparing his wife to his mother and expects the wife to behave like his mother. It is rumoured behind closed doors that maybe the mother bewitched him to make him 'loyal’ to her. His sisters are busy trying to get him girlfriends from among their friends so that they will even spend more time with him through frustrating his wife. A very useless husband.

MR. PYTHON There is the visiting husband. Mr. Python, a rare species. His house is a lodge. He only comes to sleep. Leaves home when the children are still sleeping and comes back when they are in bed. He is always at work or making ‘deals’ to make money but unfortunately he has no time for his family. He does provide materially for his family but he is always absent.

MR. ELEPHANT Finally there is Mr. Elephant, the man who is caring and loving and provides for his family. He will not allow anything to come between him and his family and will fight tooth and nail to protect his family. He tries his best to fend for his family but only through honest means. He spends most of his spare time with the family and guides his family spiritually as well. A very responsible man who treats his wife as a partner and cares for the welfare of his in-laws. He values the children as God given gifts to be cherished, with no gender bias.

Where is Mr Bee, the one that is sweet as honey

This is definitely buhari's family members where hyenas and jackals hold sway. I hate reading animals stories, I am a human.

vhai...e pain ke say na man write all these nonsense

Rubbish post!

michiyke2003:
TYPES OF HUSBANDS


MR. MONKEY
Mr. Monkey is only married on paper but in
reality he is still a bachelor. He married because
of some family pressures, maybe impregnating
the girl out of wedlock. Monkey is not
responsible, he doesn’t realize he is now a man
and has a wife and child(ren) to look after. He
still hangs around with his bachelor friends. They
go out, drink and be merry with young girls and
his car pumps out loud music, it’s actually a
mobile disco. His house is like a lodge to him, he
only comes home to
sleep. He sleeps out once in a while and has his
friends to testify to his wife that he slept at their
place after drink or when the car had broken
down. He is really a nuisance to the family.


MR. LION
He is very violent and is always boiling like acid
and suffers from mood swings. His home is run
through intimidation and
dictatorship. There are strict rules and
regulations for the wife and children and whoever
breaks these is thoroughly beaten. His home is
run like a high school. There are strict meal
times and heavy padlocks at the gate. He takes
pride in being in
charge and behaves like a high school perfect.
Half the time he is engaging in compensatory
behaviour; verbally and physically abusing his
wife and children to compensate for
his inadequacies elsewhere especially at the
workplace.


MR. GORILLA
This one wants to be treated like an “Igwe’’ (a
King). He treats his wife and children like his
subjects. He wants the wife and children to
perform some traditional respect gestures. He
doesn’t want to be called by his first name. The
children found out his first name by mistake on a
utility bill and they enjoy using this name when
he is away and they are gossiping about him.
When his food is served, the wife kneels and
puts food in front of him and she retreats two
metres and kneels again and announces that she
has brought the food, as if he is not aware. He
eats from plates that have lids. Only the wife
knows what he is eating. The children don’t.
Gorilla has a strong rural background and has a
number of beasts at his rural home/farm, where
he goes almost every weekend. The cattle are
his friends, they are more important than the
wife and children for he spends most of his free
time with them than with the family. The cattle
are not sold to improve his life; he delights in
seeing them multiply and enjoys the numbers.
He’s a very stingy man.



MR. COCKEREL
He is that man who has a soft spot for women.
They are his friends, just friends; he has no
relationships with them. He is a husband for
every women; he doesn’t want to see a woman
cry and is given to caring for these other women
than his own
wife. He gives these other women more than his
wife in terms of his resources and time. At the
work place, the women know him and they take
advantage of him and take loans they never
payback.


MR. BABOON
He is very selfish, he thinks about himself first
before the family. He is the best dressed in the
family. His favourite word is ‘my’. Everything is
HIS – my car, my house, my wife, my
children, my trees, my lizards (those that hang
around his house). He is a very greedy man. He
is heavily involved in what happens in the
kitchen, even knows how may slices
are in a sliced loaf of bread and how many
oranges are on his orange tree. He doesn’t
consider the emotions of the wife and the
children. He is a dry man with no sense of
humour and he rarely smiles and takes life too
seriously.


MR. FOX
He is a very cunning man. He doesn’t care much
about the marriage. He uses his wife to solve his
own personal and extended family problems. He
knows his wife’s weaknesses and capitalizes on
these to use the wife for his personal gain.
When he needs the wife to do something, he is
friendly and ‘loving’ and when he gets what he
wants he relapses to his usual dry self. His
habits are very fast and his eyes swift, he won’t
look at you directly in the eye, speaks very fast
as if he is reciting a poem. It’s not clear what
exactly he does for a living but he is always in
town running from one corner to the other.


MR.TICK
Is a very lazy husband. He lives off his wife; he
is literary hanging on his wife’s skirt. He’s stuck
to the wife because of her money. He is
dependent on the wife as much as the children.
He is very loving in his own way – fond of calling
the wife all sorts of little nothings, honey,
sweetheart, sweety, lovely and all but will siphon
money off the wife and spends it with other
women. He has no initiative and has negated his
role as a bread winner in the family.


MR. PUPPY
This is a husband who is a cry baby, very
childish and irresponsible. He is mummy’s boy.
Behaves as if he is married to his mother. He
cannot make a decision without consulting
his mother (and sisters). His mother and sisters
run his home and family. He is always comparing
his wife to his mother and expects the wife to
behave like his mother. It is rumoured behind
closed doors that maybe the mother bewitched
him to make him 'loyal’ to her. His sisters are
busy trying to get him girlfriends
from among their friends so that they will even
spend more time with him through frustrating his
wife. A very useless husband.


MR. PYTHON
There is the visiting husband. Mr. Python, a rare
species. His house is a lodge. He only comes to
sleep. Leaves home when the children are still
sleeping and comes back when they
are in bed. He is always at work or making
‘deals’ to make money but unfortunately he has
no time for his family. He does provide materially
for his family but he is always absent.


MR. ELEPHANT
Finally there is Mr. Elephant, the man who is
caring and loving and provides for his family. He
will not allow anything to come between him and
his family and will fight tooth and nail to protect
his family. He tries his best to fend for his family
but only through honest means. He spends most
of his spare time with the family and guides his
family spiritually as well. A very responsible man
who treats his wife as a partner and cares
for the welfare of his in-laws. He values the
children as God given gifts to be cherished, with
no gender bias.

what of the lazy man??,that expect you to use you your hard earned money to feed him and his children.