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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Divorce Journal (30686 Views)
Time To Divorce My Wife? / Wife Files For Divorce Over Husband's Big Manhood In Zamfara (Photo) / My Divorce Story:i Gave Him Everything Just To Make Our Marriage Work!. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Divorce Journal by sassyangel1(f): 8:53pm On Aug 10, 2017 |
Risingphoenix12: |
Re: My Divorce Journal by sassyangel1(f): 8:53pm On Aug 10, 2017 |
Risingphoenix12: No wahAla. It's a free world buh I pray tables don't turn later in life for you to understd wat ABANDONMENT means( I'm nt wishing u bad . Infact, I so wish u well). |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Risingphoenix12: 9:00pm On Aug 10, 2017 |
thanks. I wish you well too sassyangel1: 4 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Mutaino7(m): 10:01pm On Aug 10, 2017 |
sassyangel1:Abba! nah by force. Hope you did not purposely miss where the said wife said she wouldnt stay if role were reversed. Abi u prefer d kids to be brought up in a loveless union.. we already have enough wayward children and disturbed kidz around no nid to add to d list... 3 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Nobody: 10:45pm On Aug 10, 2017 |
Mutaino7:the way people just want you to uphold ANGUISH, MISERY, AND TOTAL UNHAPPINESS in the name of marriage is alarming! Phew!! 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Divorce Journal by sassyangel1(f): 11:00pm On Aug 10, 2017 |
Mutaino7: That's y sometimes I don't blame some of our celebrities that prefer baby mama or baby daddy tinz cos they knw wat marraige entails. it takes matured, sacrificial and forgiving partners to last and be together till death do them part. They also knw the meaning of every vow said and promised to themselves. He didn't see meaning to when his wife said as @ then dt if the tables were turned she wouldn't marry him. Mayb dt was a restraining order or she jst said it to test if he really loved her, STILL, he went ahead and promised to be by her side till death do them part. Sometimes, we need to know that marraige is nt meant for feeble minds cos couples see serious issues that is different from dating, think very well and also listen to their marraige counsellors before deciding to enter into PRISON FOR LIFE (MARRAIGE). 6 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Risingphoenix12: 11:14pm On Aug 10, 2017 |
Lol. Guys...guys...guys..sheathe your swords. Come on.. can't we all just get along? the truth is that we can't all see issues the same way. That's the diversity of life. But toning down on the curses/ insinuations of illwill would really help Anyway.. I did a personality test today.. It's on ww dot 16personalities dot com and my result was quite interesting PROTAGONIST PERSONALITY (ENFJ, -A/-T). Though not a bullseye but some of the feedback was close. You can try it if it's your cup of tea . It's not my site oh ehn ehn... And I'm not being paid for the advert.. just thought to share. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Godforsaken: 6:01am On Aug 11, 2017 |
@OP There is one thing I have learned in life...Marriages can't work if you are broken. I'm NOT a believer of divorce but with the current state of marriages, people are dying in silence because of fear of societal norms. I have now grown to understand that we cannot share what we don't have. Sometimes you will need a form of separation esp at the point where you are lost and can even contemplate suicide. I think it is only fair to take a moment and let God breathe life into you so you can live and share your life with others. It's sad how people are here wanting to hear the whole story and be judge when all you need is the encouragement to take it one day at a time. I'm praying that God protects the institution of marriage and for Him grant you peace and insight on the way forward. 6 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Nobody: 6:06am On Aug 11, 2017 |
Risingphoenix12:VIRTUOSO PERSONALITY (ISTP, -A/-T).. Kindda close 1 Like |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Risingphoenix12: 6:32am On Aug 11, 2017 |
Thank You and Amen. Godforsaken: |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Mutaino7(m): 12:29pm On Aug 11, 2017 |
Tried what you recommended and below is my result Mediator (INFP-t) 3 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Risingphoenix12: 12:56pm On Aug 11, 2017 |
That's cool. Is it any close to your perception of who you are? Mutaino7: |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Jahblessme: 1:59pm On Aug 11, 2017 |
@op Happy Divorce Seems tensions are rising this one you mention she's after 50% of your stuff(you said she was indifferent - you instigated the divorce ,no way she can be indifferent) I thought that in divorce proceedings,it's family assets after marriage split in two plus extra for upkeep of the kids.Small price to pay for the joy and peace you are chasing after. Hope you guys remain friends though. Funny that some of the guys saying you shouldn't remain in anguish are the same ones who would tell a woman to endure and wear red pant. Life will go on no matter what,I hope the children will grow resilient and not be scarred by the action or inaction of you two. Cheers. 8 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Risingphoenix12: 2:26pm On Aug 11, 2017 |
Thanks. Not necessarily tensions, just some clarifications... Lol.. Hopefully we will remain friends. Jahblessme: 1 Like |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Sissie(f): 3:38pm On Aug 11, 2017 |
I find it funny how people go on about children of nowadays abi is it marriage of nowadays. As if the parents and grandparents all had good marriages just because they stayed together. Does length of marriage equals happiness?? I personally am trying to stay neutral and don't pass judgements, there really isn't enough to make a informed judgment. However marriage is not a do or die affair. 14 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Viking007(m): 6:05pm On Aug 11, 2017 |
zed7: 2 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Mutaino7(m): 9:13pm On Aug 11, 2017 |
Risingphoenix12:about 90% i believe |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Risingphoenix12: 10:11pm On Aug 11, 2017 |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Nobody: 11:21pm On Aug 11, 2017 |
sassyangel1:Awww. That's true love. He seriously loved your mom and I bet he still does. My hat's off to your Father. I hope you're taking good care of him in his old age. I've a friend in Nigeria whose Father died when he was a teenager. It's 15-years later and his mom has refused to remarry. She raised 5 kids all by herself too. You know it's true love when even death itself cannot separate two people. 6 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by sassyangel1(f): 11:27pm On Aug 11, 2017 |
WiredLeggings: We r trying our best. The hse is kinda boring to him right nw cos every1 is married n facing their careers buh we visit so well and his grandkids do scatter and trouble him. I'll be so happy if my father can re-marry cos he misses companionship. 1 Like |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Nobody: 1:43am On Aug 12, 2017 |
sassyangel1:If he misses companionship, you and your siblings could join heads in helping him meet someone, perhaps a widow who's also looking for companionship. Or you could encourage him to mix more with people close to his age at Church or other social gatherings with the hopes of meeting someone. He doesn't need to re-marry if he doesn't want to and don't pressure him to either. But there's nothing wrong with him finding a companion. She won't replace your mom but her company would help him feel less lonely and I'm sure it would help her as well. 7 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by sassyangel1(f): 1:54am On Aug 12, 2017 |
L WiredLeggings: Thks.. We'v tried that earlier buh my old man doesn't jst seem interested. Sometimes, he frustrates the relationship wth his stubbornness. U would Laff @ d reason y my dad is skeptical abt re-marry. One of d reasons is dt d woman will take his eyes away from us n enjoy his pension. We'll jst Laff cos we r all graduates,, married n pursuing our careers. Anyways, I knw if my dad wana settle down, he will. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Divorce Journal by zed7: 3:34am On Aug 12, 2017 |
sassyangel1:That's true love right there. The man is a trooper. Unfortunately most people don't marry for love. They marry for other things. You can't give what you don't have. Someone who has no happiness within will always chase around looking for happiness. Happiness is within. It's waking up with a terminal illness and accepting that others too are going through stuff and not feeling miserable or looking for someone to blame. I've come to realize that an unhappy person will still be miserable in a perfect environment and setting. Learning to be happy is an art. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Nobody: 6:00am On Aug 12, 2017 |
And where is the Original Poster? |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Risingphoenix12: 6:28am On Aug 12, 2017 |
Interesting discourse and very enlightening too. But I have a few questions...using a bit of @sassyangel's dad's story as an example (hope I have your permission?).. 1) is it possible that if he was married to someone else living within a different reality, it may have ended differently ? 2) hope we are not confusing resignation with happiness? I'm not saying that's the case here but in similar scenarios, when people accept that "it's their cross" and trudge along while outsiders look and say "Oh that's a trooper" ... it may be a case of resignation and not love. 3) not all love stories end idyllically. I think that's another ideal that society foists on people. Are we seriously implying that there are no divorced/ remarried happy individuals or couples? I suspect that a few of them are probably just peeping at this thread and laughing to themselves. 4) why do people frown so hard at divorced people - A bit harder on women I admit (especially in Nigerian/ African societies)? Surprisingly, this includes religious institutions (i.e. the church). It almost sounds like the unforgivable sin. Not by God but by men. Are we implying that if one gets into a wrong marriage by error or wilfully then he/she is trapped except the right conditions are met? (E.g. adultery, death etc) 5) (please permit me to refer to the Bible) Proverbs 6:16-19 also states things that God hates but we isolate divorce and treat it specially. I understand that a vow was made. Does breaking a vow made with God mean that other vows can't be fulfilled? Does that automatically make a divorcee a bad person that can never be trusted? Or there's a special place in hell reserved for them? Lol... or is this a case of people judging others that have fallen short of the glory of God, while we remain without sin? Please I sincerely hope that we can discuss this with maturity and not resort to mudslinging and subtle jabs. Thanks once again to everyone that has shared his/her perspectives and helped others to shape their thoughts/lives constructively. 15 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Risingphoenix12: 6:30am On Aug 12, 2017 |
1 Like |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Nobody: 6:35am On Aug 12, 2017 |
sassyangel1: This is so sweet but your dad married your mum out of love not pity. That's sth. else. Only someone who's in love could do what your dad did. You can't force op to love his wife. Marriage doesn't equal to love and op is unhappy in his marriage. He married out of pity NOT love. It's also only fair to the woman, to finally meet someone who loves her just like your dad loved your mum. Same as op. Kids should not be brought in marriages where there's no love, which perhaps might also reek of cold atmosphere. 4 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by ice234: 8:29am On Aug 12, 2017 |
@ops take out your phone and download not an easy road by Buju Banton from his 'til Shiloh album. Also go through the lyrics you will find some comforting words there that will uplift you. 2 Likes |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Risingphoenix12: 9:25am On Aug 12, 2017 |
Mehn.. I love this song! Thank you!!! ice234: 1 Like |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Risingphoenix12: 9:29am On Aug 12, 2017 |
Ed Sheeran's "I see fire" also calms me down... ice234: |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Mutaino7(m): 9:52am On Aug 12, 2017 |
Risingphoenix12:'' linkin park'' songs are also good especially NUMB.. 1 Like |
Re: My Divorce Journal by Risingphoenix12: 9:53am On Aug 12, 2017 |
Note to self: Mehn... oftentimes this is how I feel now.. downloaded this image in 2013... lol.. This is a phase and shall pass.. hopefully soon too...
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