A man is as faithful as his options. . Hahahaha

psychu:

SORRY for the diversion, does anyone have an idea when Catholics celebrate Mother's day in Nigeria?

it was today

Best Don't turn ur back on each oda in bed when u r angry. If u make ur wife hate u she'll make ur kids hate u n ur life'll b hell when u r old. Worst Husband n wife r always fighting 4 supremacy, don't let ur wife get d upper hand.

Got some funny ones for u guys here

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very
much in love,

Couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered.

"I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"

She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of
beer,

Brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan , India , etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think
of saying was,

"Yes, Lollipop,  But at the bar,  You know,  They have frozen glasses,
"

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by
saying,

"You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?"

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that

She was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said,

"Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are
really delicious,

I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?"

She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres:
chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

"But my sweet honey,  At the bar,  You know there's swearing, dirty words
and all that, "

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?

LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR BLOODY ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK
YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR
MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT,
JACKASS?"

And, they lived happily ever



ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
 

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
 

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

 

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

"You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

A woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Lmao!

aces1:

Got some funny ones for u guys here

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very
much in love,

Couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered.

"I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"

She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of
beer,

Brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan , India , etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think
of saying was,

"Yes, Lollipop,  But at the bar,  You know,  They have frozen glasses,
"

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by
saying,

"You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?"

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that

She was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said,

"Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are
really delicious,

I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?"

She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres:
chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

"But my sweet honey,  At the bar,  You know there's swearing, dirty words
and all that, "

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?

LISTEN UP CHICKEN poo! SIT YOUR BLOODY backside DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK
YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR
MARRIED backside ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT poo IS OVER, GOT IT,
JACKASS?"

And, they lived happily ever



ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
 

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
 

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

 

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Very good food for thought.Well digested!!

women are to serve in marriage not to be served. Don't expect your in-laws and hubby to serve you rather serve them

if you want peace

nice thread:

Best i ever got - Your wife shld be your best friend.

Worst - the woman is always right.

Best: "Dont start something you cant keep up for the rest of your life" 


PF: Everyone is a package deal. There will be some things you love about your partner and other things you really don't like at all.  You can trade your partner in for a new and improved version, and you might like certain aspects of the new person more, but I will guarantee that there will be new shortcomings to deal with as well.

PF : it’s important to remember that happy couples don’t need to have a lot in common, they just need to nurture the little they do have in common.

Best: " couples don't just fall out of love, they simply lack the right tools to stay in love."

From couples married for 30+yrs

Harry - married 39 years:

"Harry said that early in their marriage they had a lot of issues (because they were so young) and so they implemented a "Do Not Get Mad Session" once a month. During this session they talked about things that each one did not like about what the other person was saying or doing over the last month. If they started to get mad, they canceled the session and restarted it the next week. Harry says that this type of session allowed them to learn from each other and to recognize things that the other person did not like".
   



Paul - married 38 years:

Paul gave 5 basic principles that are important to a successful marriage (in order of importance.) He says they learned these things from going to counseling and from counseling other couples:

You need God in your family/marriage
Trust each other
Discuss things together (communicate)
Make Compromises - in the areas where they disagree.
Respect each other and the principles of each other whether you agree with them or not!!!



Maxine - married for 41 years:

Maxine says the following things were instrumental to keeping the marriage together:

learned how to share in joys and encourage in disappointments
refer to each other by name
keep the kids out of their personal discussions
family dinner every Sunday
respect each others roles.

If your husband yab you, yab him mama - worst advice ever

Best: Never sleep without settling any differences between both of you
Worst: If your wife gives you trouble marry another one

polosco:

Best: Never sleep without settling any differences between both of you
Worst: If your wife gives you trouble marry another one

I love your advice . . . . Will make sure i apply that
One woman one wahala, 2 wives 100 wahala. . . . . .

Fhemmmy:

I love your advice . . . . Will make sure i apply that
One woman one wahala, 2 wives 100 wahala. . . . . .

Femi, wetin u dey talk?

women are a very peaceful being jare


Posted by: richinfo4u

Do not keep any secrets , tell your husband all your ugly past.

i definitely keep some my secret to myself as long as it doesnt and will not impede the function of the marriage. some secret just arent meant to be shared no matter what

Hmmmm lets see most of the advices I got where not as much as people telling me but me watching them handle their marriage.

Best: Don't go to bed with an unresolved issue
         Always compliment your partner both in private and in public
         Pick an interest in what he does especially his career
         Look for ways to help him succeed in life
         Never criticize him in public
         Show him that he means the whole world to you
         Be creative

Worst: Don't tell him everything
            Don't show him that you love him too much
            Men are the same - they are not to be trusted
            When you have kids it doesnt matter what your husband does your kids are now your husband

Never criticize him in public

so true. cause words are definitely very powerful

When you have kids it doesnt matter what your kids does your children are now your husband

Lol. some women are guilty of this. placing their children above their husbands. but i can understand the reason some in certain situations do it

Yes some women are guilty of it. Before I gave birth to the kids my husband was there so why would I want to throw him away when the kids arrive?

Another best advice is believe in your partner's dream no matter how small it is

Mrs. Siena:

Yes some women are guilty of it. Before I gave birth to the kids my husband was there so why would I want to throw him away when the kids arrive?

in many instances like in a dysfunctional household, where the woman is being abused or the husband is acting irresponsible i can see the need for her to place her kids as her no1 priority. but it would definitely be a recipe for disaster where such things arent the norm

Best:

Patience and tolerance are the hallmarks of any successful marrriege.

Respect and advice ur husband when is down

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hhmmmm

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