JUNGLE JUSTICE

Two men were trekking through the bush when they spotted a lion who looked both hungry and fast. One of the men reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of canvas. His friend looked at him.

''Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that lion?''

''I don't have to run faster than that lion,'' his friend replied. ''I just have to run faster than you.

PEPPER SELLER

A man from the village came to the capital and learned three phrases.
1.Only fifty Naira
2.Very, very fresh one
3.Not today, maybe tomorrow.

A lady came to his pepper stand and said ''how much are these peppers?'' The man said ''only fifty naira''. Then she asked ''are they fresh?'' The man said ''Very, very fresh''. She then asked, ''can I buy one?'' The man said, ''not today maybe tomorrow.''

A robber comes and said ''I'm a robber how much money do you have?'' The pepper Seller said, ''only fifty naira''. The robber said, ''are you being fresh with me?'' The pepper seller said ''Very, very fresh one''. The robber said ''Alright, that's it. I'm going to shoot you.'' The pepper Seller said ''Not today maybe tomorrow!"

The moral to this story is: If you go to a big town, learn as much of the language as possible!

A SHARP LAWYER

A lawyer defending a man accused of theft tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few small items. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer's assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.

A HUSBANDS MOMENT OF REALIZATION
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her
to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side, You know what?"

"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."