September 2015, my dad helped me to secure a job as an Industrial Training in a company where he works. Things are fine between us then as anytime we meet at home, he always talk about how he is so much proud of me.

I am able to deliver in the branch I'm working, so words and praises of me are getting to him in own branch. I was officially employed as a parmanent staff just 6 months later.

August 2016, my dad had a chronic sickness, a stroke that made him unfit to walk normally so he's forced to resign. I love my dad, so I am doing all I could to support him.

Now here is the issue, I noticed some changes about my dad which is really really stressing me out. He is feeling insecure. Take these 3 out of plenty of cases as examples.

Before he stopped working, if dad asked me to do something and I choose to do it later because I am tired, he normally don't have a problem with that as long as I get it done. But now, if I gave him an excuse to do something for him later because I'm tired, he started saying things like "is it because of the small change you are getting that now make you feel big?"

Before he stopped working, if I am talking to a girl on phone, my dad will joke about it saying things like "..hmm, that's my son, just handle it well". But now, dad says things like "I know you are a big boy now, and you are now making money more than us but you still need to respect the fact that I am your father when you are talking on phone" (I am 22)

My dad talks really, if he mistake Tiwa Savage to Seyi Shay and I corrected him, he will say things like "...and they look alike o," but now if I do that, he will say ".. it's not your fault, it is circumstances"

There are more to these things but let me just stop here. He is really frustrating me, he now make me look like a I am being too proud. I am not like that really.

I am thinking of leaving the house and stay away, even if it is somewhere not too far from them. I don't know what to do but it is really zapping out of energy.
(Forgive my autocorrection keyboard)

Are you really sure it is the auto correction keyboard we are to forgive

I think your father is being insecure now since he is no longer employed...
I will advice you to show him more love and affection,far more than you used to do.I know you are really trying your best,but I think he is kind of more sensitive at this stage,so you should be extra polite and careful when dealing with him and by God's grace,you both would get over this stage...
May the grace of God be upon you and your family... Amen.
lalasticlala,Mynd44

The issue is just that the man is going through some psychological trauma at the moment. Do all you can to support him and I pray he pulls through out of this.

Lol. Don't mind him. He is transferring aggression of his losss of job and inability to be the provider. Just reassure him and show him a lot of love. Tell him you are not complaining and that what he has done for you in life is very much appreciated, and he doesn't need to feel bad in any way. That he did well when he raised you, now it's time for you to do your best for him. Tell him he has changed since his sickness and loss of job, that you want your father back. Not this grumpy and angry man of today. He probably doesn't realize how grumpy he is now.

Tell him he has changed and that he seems to takes things you do or say the wrong and it is affecting your relationship with him. You should understand. It is called ego.

My Dad is retired so I understand what your situation, he has less things occupying his mind so he's paying attention to little details that didn't matter before now. He needs you around, so rule out the option of leaving home, except if you want to hurry him to his grave. Assure him in words and attitude that he's still the boss. Be more formal with him.

This will help

Is depression, you need to manage him. Why should you think of leaving him now.

Take care of your father, pray for him, discuss with him and you will see changes

Men love to be men, in control and the boss especially fathers and when they're unable to they transfer their aggression on those around.. I'f you ask your mum and even your siblings you'll see that you all are experiencing the same thing.


Please do not leave your dad, show him all the love, care, respect and attention he needs at this moment, Just avoid those situations at any costs and support him every way you can.



He'll get well and things will get better, take heart.

You have witnessed first hand what women with jobless husbands go through. They most times don't need to provoke the man _he is naturally provoked.

Please bear with your dad. Our men were brought up to be providers, their worth is measured by providence, their ego is tied to it. When they're not providing, they get very insecure, feel useless, helpless and less respected.

That mixed feeling is what he is taking out on you. Try to reassure him things will be fine. Let him know he has never for once failed you all and you very much understand his situation. Show support and be ready to be a fool so many times. Watch and engage in indoor things he loves doing.

Don't leave the house, he needs you more now. It's not easy being jobless and immobile, meaning no hope in sight. Sorry about daddy.

DY20:
September 2015, my dad helped me to secure a job as an Industrial Training in a company where he works. Things are fine between us then as anytime we meet at home, he always talk about how he is so much proud of me.

I am able to deliver in the branch I'm working, so words and praises of me are getting to him in own branch. I was officially employed as a parmanent staff just 6 months later.

August 2016, my dad had a chronic sickness, a stroke that made him unfit to walk normally so he's forced to resign. I love my dad, so I am doing all I could to support him.

Now here is the issue, I noticed some changes about my dad which is really really stressing me out. He is feeling insecure. Take these 3 out of plenty of cases as examples.

Before he stopped working, if dad asked me to do something and I choose to do it later because I am tired, he normally don't have a problem with that as long as I get it done. But now, if I gave him an excuse to do something for him later because I'm tired, he started saying things like "is it because of the small change you are getting that now make you feel big?"

Before he stopped working, if I am talking to a girl on phone, my dad will joke about it saying things like "..hmm, that's my son, just handle it well". But now, dad says things like "I know you are a big boy now, and you are now making money more than us but you still need to respect the fact that I am your father when you are talking on phone" (I am 22)

My dad talks really, if he mistake Tiwa Savage to Seyi Shay and I corrected him, he will say things like "...and they look alike o," but now if I do that, he will say ".. it's not your fault, it is circumstances"

There are more to these things but let me just stop here. He is really frustrating me, he now make me look like a I am being too proud. I am not like that really.

I am thinking of leaving the house and stay away, even if it is somewhere not too far from them. I don't know what to do but it is really zapping out of energy.
(Forgive my autocorrection keyboard)

Depression and paranoia go hand-in-hand. You should be understanding and supportive, and not thinking of leaving him. He needs you now!.

Flow with the change bro.

Nothing dampens a man's confidence than when he thinks he's lost control of things.

Let me give you this secret..

You need to be wrong sometimes even when you are right. Do it for him. Joke a lot around him and tell him you love him.

See this love thing is more of actions not of words

Help him build that confidence again, he is still your father.

You need to be him to know how he really feels. It's a tough time right but hey you got only one father.

Be his son and one that respects him. And hey yes you need to pray for him.

Everything's gonna be alright.

All the best

Take the advice of the women here and reassure him of your love and RESPECT, but not through words like they are saying. With us men it's more what you do than what you say. Try to respond a little faster than you normally used to when he needs you. Brainstorm ways to get him occupied too. When his mind is busy he won't have time to dwell on his circumstance.

Depression!!!!

He is depressed expecially when he feels that he should be working and providing for the family and he couldn't do it anymore

So without wasting more time, I am prescribing "EGO SYRUP". anytime u feel he's depressed , give him a dose of an "Ego syrup".. once in a month... start with Dad some thing good happened @ work today... After narrating, give him all the credit. Tell him you wouldn't have made it this far without him.. that u may not have said it a lot but u are really proud of him.. that u are proud to call him dad..in next world if u were to choose a father , you will choose him.. . Just say things that swell people's brain... and watch him glow after the ego massage. Remember your speech has to match with your actions on how u deal with him.; if not, it will not work.

However do not over dose him or he might get immune to the ego stroke ....U know how some ladies were immune to the word I love you.. If u tell that to some, they will look at you in a funny way..

Bro I never knew all this. Show him more love and respect and pray bro. All will be well insha Allah

People affected with stroke often show some form of mental / psychological disorder ranging from mild to severe. I noticed it too in my dad before I lost him. Sometimes he would get paranoid or aggressive for the slightest of reasons, and this was not his former behavior. Sometimes he would say some very hurtful words to us then out of nowhere.

OP, you should be more sensitive to your dad now. He is going through a difficult phase in his life right now and he might not be the best dad in the whole world right now, but you need to be considerate and caring too. You are now your father's dad.

Let him understand you love and respect him. Have a heart to heart talk with him, he needs you now more than ever. I wish I could have spent more time with mine, now I live regretting it. You shouldn't make the same mistake