Here is the story of an Imam who got up after Friday prayers and announced to the people:"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."



An old woman came to the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, pray to Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) that I will enter Paradise." He said jokingly, "O Mother of So-and-so, no old women will enter Paradise." The old woman went away crying, so the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Tell her that she will not enter Paradise as an old woman, for Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) says: (We have created [their Companions] of special creation, and made them virgin-pure [and undefiled]) (Qur'an 56:35-36)." Reported by al-Tirmidhi, it is hasan because of the existence of corroborating reports.

nice joke

its realy nice

My dear poster please stick to Christian or other jokes before some fanatic triggers off some riot,killing innocent people not priviledge to enjoy this joke. Abeg

hey watdyu mean bye kıllıng pple, let d ınterested ones comment nd dıscuss, if ure not interested u may back off plzzzzz nd den say gud or keep quiet

Akuviv:

My dear poster please stick to Christian or other jokes before some fanatic triggers off some riot,killing innocent people not priviledge to enjoy this joke. Abeg

please do not judge all Muslims based on your ignorance

Aysh-Ah

Be comforted with the fact that when you get old, you definitely will not go to paradise.

Rokiatu Pepper body

Islam teaches love and peace,

so be rest assured that d suicide bomber shall truely be heros

but heros in hell fire.

so enjoy d joke

bilms:

Islam teaches love and peace,

so be rest assured that d suicide bomber shall truely be heros

but heros in hell fire.

so enjoy d joke

I am pacified. U are free - go in peace.

peace

abeg i no follow for this joke before suicide bumber go enter here come finish us oohh

nyc joke,and i wovld iyk u all 2 knw dat islam is peace not voilence

Very nice

True Incident: During a Jumah Khutbah in a small town, an Imam talked about the significance of saying "Insha Allah" (which means if Allah wills) when planning to do something in the future. After a few days, a man who had also attended the Khutbah was going to buy a cow from the market. On the way, he met a friend who asked him where he was going. He told him about buying the cow but did not say Insha Allah in the end. His friend reminded him about the Khutbah and told him to say Insha Allah. However, this individual said that he had the money he needs and the energy to go to the market, thus, there is no point of saying Insha Allah as he will certainly buy the cow. He thought that saying Insha Allah will not make any difference.



When he reached the market, he found a cow that met his expectations. He bargained with the seller and came to a reasonable price. Finally, he decided to pay for the cow but was dumbfounded when he discovered that his money was missing. A thief had stolen the money while he was walking through the busy market. The cow seller asked him whether he was going to buy the cow or not. "Insha Allah, I will buy it next week," he said. When he reached home, his wife inquired about the cow. He told her about how he forgot to say Insha Allah, and also added, "Insha Allah, I wanted to buy the cow. But Insha Allah, my money was stolen. Insha Allah, I will buy it next week." His wife clarified to him that we should say Insha Allah for things that are yet to happen, not for those things that had already happened. He never forgot his "Insha Allah" again.

An elderly lady was well-known for her Iman and for her confidence in talking about it. She would stand in front of her house and say Alhamdulilah "Allah be praised" to all those who passed by. Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!" Hard times came upon the elderly lady, and she prayed for Allah to send her some assistance. She would pray out loud in her night prayer" Oh Allah! I need food!! I am having a hard time, please Lord, PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!" The atheist happened to hear her as she was praying, and decided to play a prank on her. The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "Alhamdulilah, (Allah be praised)!." The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't." The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, . He not only sent me groceries, but he made the devil pay for them!"

An Imam was selling his horse in the market. An interested buyer came to him and requested if he could get a test drive. The Imam told the man that this horse is unique. In order to make it walk, you have to say Subhanallah. To make it run, you have to say Alhamdulillah and to make it stop, you have to say Allahu Akbar. The man sat on the horse and said Subhanallah. The horse started to walk. Then he said Alhamdulillah and it started to run. He kept saying Alhamdulillah and the horse started running faster and faster. All of a sudden the man noticed that the horse is running towards the edge of the hill that he was riding on. Being overly fearful, he forgot how to stop the horse. He kept saying all these words out of confusion. When the horse was just near the edge, he remembered Allahu Akbar and said it out loud. The horse stopped just one step away from the edge. The man took a deep breath, looked up towards the sky and said Alhamdulillah!

guess what happened after dat, lol

BLIMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

ha ha ha

A man walks into a sex shop in Jerusalem looking for a sex doll.

Clerk: So what kind do you want? Jewish, Christian or Muslim?

Man confused: What's the difference?

Clerk: The Muslim one blows itself up.

lol

ha ha ha ha ha

@ Bilms nice jokes

ha ha ha

Nasruddin is guest of honor at a dinner.

But when he turns up in casual clothes, his hosts tell him to come back in formal dress.

Nasruddin returns in a suit and pours the soup onto his clothes.

“Meet my jacket,” he tells the guests. “It’s the guest of honor.

keep working hard to make me laugh

start laughing b4 the jokes come