Hello House, Am a 23year old 300 level student, Am dating an 18year old girl whose father is dead so she lives with her Aunt. She is been living with her Aunt for about 7 years now. Her Aunt is married with 3 Female Kids. Her Aunt's Husband has been the one paying her school bills all this while. Then last year he started Harassing her sexually and demanding sex from her. The Wife got to find out but instead of cautioning her Hubby or at least do something to fix the issue, she accused her Niece of seducing her husband. They finally settle the case and she keeps living with them with no issue but the man stop paying her school bills telling the girl that only if she allows him sex and he gave some excuses to the wife. Then, last week when her Aunt traveled, the husband started again with his quest, it got worse day before yesterday when i opened my Facebook messenger and her last message to me was am SCARED, i called her back but her phone was switched off, unlike her. When i finally reached her the following day, she said the man came hard at her, switched off her phone and was kin on having it. Right now she is so terrified, she doesn't know what to do, after the man stop paying her bills, her Aunt carried the responsibility, so surely she can't break that kind of news to her. Please Advice from all angles.
Lalasticala abeg help do the needful.

Let her look for somewhere else to stay.

Comfront him

The best thing for her is to look for somewhere else to stay.
If their dad is dead, what about the mother.

useless men everywhere, the man is probably a nairalander, with all this bad advise they give each other

The aunty's response doesn't surprise me one bit. The first thing the man does is to configure his wife's brain into seeing your girl as a rebel. He'll say your girl is following small small boys, so she is growing wings, looking at him in the eye, disobeying orders _etc. The woman like the regular non-thinking Nigerian woman would see the girl as the enemy disrespecting her husband and trying to crash her marriage.

The only solution is, she has to go back to her parents house. This is a very common scenario when you stay with aunties. If she doesn't go back to her mother, I am afraid to say the man would force himself on her.

What about her mom?

PaperLace:
She has to go back to her parents house. That's the only solution. This is a very common scenario when you stay with aunties.
If she doesn't go back to her mother, I am afraid to say the man would force himself on her.

this advice is good safe.

.

xendra:
useless men everywhere, the man is probably a nairalander, with all this bad advise they give each other

Don't you think the woman is more useless for failing to condemn the "useless dog"?

.corner that man and look for this agbero girls to beat and rape him. His brain must go back to default mode

Is she waiting for the man to rape her? Is the mother dead too? Or she doesn't want to relocate Because of you?

Acidosis:


Don't you think the woman is more useless for failing to condemn the "useless dog"?

Ofcourse she is useless, that man is probably sleeping with their daughters now, na the girl own we know

xendra:
Ofcourse she is useless, that man is probably sleeping with their daughters now, na the girl own we know

Very true dear, I pray she finds help soon

Thank you all so much, and i can see most people are saying she should go back to her mother, i thought of it too. But the fear is if she goes back to her mother will the Aunt continue to pay her school bills. Couple with the fact that she is just seeking admission, so that is the very thing keeping her back.

Please is there a way, the mod could help shift this to front page abeg, i really need options on what to do.

lawaldoski:
Please is there a way, the mod could help shift this to front page abeg, i really need options on what to do.

arent you ashamed of yourself?


you entered a relation while in school and you want to enjoy the dividends of marriage in a relationship dat will end nowhere, if u are so pained and u have her in mind ,let her move in with you or better still rent a place for her.


BOTH OF YOU GO HUNGRY IF NEED BE


STOP COMPLAINING IF U CANT PROVIDE SOLUTIONS


romance is nothing with finance and sacrifices

Let her break his head whenever he make such attempt.
Trust me he won't die and he won't try that again.

Sounds like the he goat is going to rape her any small chance he gets. I don't know why many men don't have self control, always attempting to sleep with any woman they are under the same roof with.
Op, the girl in question should urgently seek a way to leave that house. She shouldn't waste time at all because from what you wrote the man has already started trying to force her. What if he succeeds and she gets pregnant? Let her leave the house ASAP. I am sure if she narrates the story to her relatives they will sympatise with her and help her raise money to live away from her aunt's house.

lawaldoski:
Thank you all so much, and i can see most people are saying she should go back to her mother, i thought of it too. But the fear is if she goes back to her mother will the Aunt continue to pay her school bills. Couple with the fact that she is just seeking admission, so that is the very thing keeping her back.

1. You are 23yrs old.
2. You are in 300level.
3. Your parents are training you in school.


Can you be realistic and tell us what business you have dating this 18yrs old fatherless girl (no insult intended). Face reality, your love won't stop that man from harassing her if she remains there, your love can't pay her fees if she returns back to her mother _hence your concern.

Why do you young guys like complicating your lives?

Each time she comes telling you her challenges, you will start thinking how to scam your parents?

You're creating thread on NL when you already know the solution. There is just one way out of this situation and love can't fund it _you know that already.

That girl needs to move out asap.stay with a friend for a while before getting her own apartment.she had better make her move fast because the man is showing symptoms of raapeen her soon

PaperLace:


1. You are 23yrs old.
2. You are in 300level.
3. Your parents are training you in school.


Can you be realistic and tell us what business you have dating this 18yrs old fatherless girl (no insult intended). Face reality, your love won't stop that man from harassing her if she remains there, your love can't pay her fees if she returns back to her mother _hence your concern.

Why do you young guys like complicating your lives?

Each time she comes telling you her challenges, you will start thinking how to scam your parents?

You're creating thread on NL when you already know the solution. There is just one way out of this situation and love can't fund it _you know that already.

so because she is fatherless he shouldn't date her.

oloyede252:

so because she is fatherless he shouldn't date her.

Is that what you understood?

He shouldn't complicate his life.
How will this his thread give her accommodation and pay her fees?
He is a 23yrs old 3rd year student, such emotional (or financial) baggage shouldn't be for him and with time he'll realise it.

Advise him, let's see what you have to say.

PaperLace:


1. You are 23yrs old.
2. You are in 300level.
3. Your parents are training you in school.


Can you be realistic and tell us what business you have dating this 18yrs old fatherless girl (no insult intended). Face reality, your love won't stop that man from harassing her if she remains there, your love can't pay her fees if she returns back to her mother _hence your concern.

Why do you young guys like complicating your lives?

Each time she comes telling you her challenges, you will start thinking how to scam your parents?

You're creating thread on NL when you already know the solution. There is just one way out of this situation and love can't fund it _you know that already.

Thank you.

I honestly wanted to say this, But just couldn't. I wasn't ready for the verbal attack i would get. I'm really busy & don't want to start typing trying to defend myself.

Someone who wants to carry another man's problem without solving his own first. If OP wants to fall in love, there are other beautiful ladies in school with less complicated lives. There are many problems in this World already.

lawaldoski:
Hello House, Am a 23year old 300 level student, Am dating an 18year old girl whose father is dead so she lives with her Aunt. She is been living with her Aunt for about 7 years now. Her Aunt is married with 3 Female Kids. Her Aunt's Husband has been the one paying her school bills all this while. Then last year he started Harassing her sexually and demanding sex from her. The Wife got to find out but instead of cautioning her Hubby or at least do something to fix the issue, she accused her Niece of seducing her husband. They finally settle the case and she keeps living with them with no issue but the man stop paying her school bills telling the girl that only if she allows him sex and he gave some excuses to the wife. Then, last week when her Aunt traveled, the husband started again with his quest, it got worse day before yesterday when i opened my Facebook messenger and her last message to me was am SCARED, i called her back but her phone was switched off, unlike her. When i finally reached her the following day, she said the man came hard at her, switched off her phone and was kin on having it. Right now she is so terrified, she doesn't know what to do, after the man stop paying her bills, her Aunt carried the responsibility, so surely she can't break that kind of news to her. Please Advice from all angles.
Lalasticala abeg help do the needful.

This is the result of a culture in which women are told that marriage is the purpose of their life, a do or die affair. And all of you who support it will pay for it in one way or another. Karma is a biatch.


Your girlfriend must leave the house. Are there no people you can ask to help you? What about her mother?

Why don't you go teach him a lesson? Which guys sits around and lets his girl be harassed by another man?

Exactly

Many Nigerian women would rather walk on hot coals than lose their marital status.

Is there one sensible reason why she's still married to that borderline pedophile

Mindfulness:


This is the result of a culture in which women are told that marriage is the purpose of their life, a do or die affair. And all of you who support it will pay for it in one way or another. Karma is a biatch.


Your girlfriend must leave the house. Are there no people you can ask to help you? What about her mother?

I can imagine what will happen if a man's friend reported the wife to him and accused her of forcing him to sleep with her. I can imagine how quick he will be to either throw her out or cheat on her in revenge.

But women will keep quiet like complete mumus and stay behind making excuses for their he-goats.
I wish women will stop seeing themselves as helpless and stand up to fight oppression. Nobody else can help us but ourselves.

xendra:
useless men everywhere, the man is probably a nairalander, with all this bad advise they give each other

Hey madam.. Why the "useless men everywhere".. Nawa for you ooo.. First of all am not saying what the man is doing is right but it is not a enough reason to saying the useless men whatever thing you said. We still have a handful them that are useful.. Then from the story too I believe you gathered that the matter was reported to the wife and she turned the whole thing around saying the whatever seducing thing.. So you should probably blame both the husband and wife because if the husband had sense he wouldn't try what he is doing then on the part of the woman if she had sense she would have taken the right decision towards the husband... That's all I have to say. In all is the lil girl that I pity

This is serious yet very simple. First your girlfriend needs to stop seeing herself as an orphan. Yes she may be but she should ignore that FACT for a while. Only that way she won't fall into self pity and sort this problem.

Secondly, you as the boyfriend needs to be there for her at this time. I know you probably have been judging by this post but do not give up yet. You may not end up marrying but this is your chance to make a serious impact on her life for good.

Thirdly, the fact that her aunty still pays her school fees and other bills gives me hope. There is a good chance that the aunt still have some sense left in her. That can be taken advantage of. Your girlfriend should get a phone with voice recorder. Or any recording device. There are many cheap ones on jumia. Ideally a recording pen if you guys can afford it.

That will most likely nail the man. He wants sex, he is very unlikely to use his senses and that will work in your favour. Let the girl daily every day program the phone or pen or whatever to record. One day the man will fall for it. If it is a pain, she can easily put it on her wardrope or somewhere where it will not been seen but can easily perform it duty.

When the aunt's husband is finally caught, make sure you the boyfriend get a copy of the recording for keeps then tell the aunt. Using the recording to blackmail the mail could lead to something extremely bad - the man could even kill her as such a man can do and undo.

If after showing the aunt the record she behaves in an unexpected manner, which is possible then use the record to seek the help of NGOs who may even end up taking her away from that bad environment.

But note you both have to be at your thinking best and very calculative.

xendra:
useless men everywhere, the man is probably a nairalander, with all this bad advise they give each other

Useless men - including your father, brothers, boyfriend or husband? Why the hate?

lawaldoski:
Thank you all so much, and i can see most people are saying she should go back to her mother, i thought of it too. But the fear is if she goes back to her mother will the Aunt continue to pay her school bills. Couple with the fact that she is just seeking admission, so that is the very thing keeping her back.

She is 18 as you say. She can fend for herself. Once she stops having the fear of hopelessness she will find out that there are many ideas in her head that is not being used.

She should accept the fact that she has lost her father and her mother is probably helpless. It is a fact and once she accepts it and learn to live with it, ideas will flow. Trust me.