elektra:


You Sir, are an evil person. It is absolutely evil to use the bible as a tool of oppression.
It is when it relates to women that you will start quoting bible to suit your evil purposes.

You should be faithful to your wife, just as you take water from your own well and don't be like a stream from which just any woman may take a drink.
Save yourself for your wife and don't have sex with other women. Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. She is beautiful and graceful just like a deer; you should be attracted to her and stay deeply in love.
Don't go crazy over a woman who is unfaithful to her husband! The Lord sees everything and he watches us closely. Sinners are trapped and caught by their own evil deeds. They get lost and die because of their foolishness and lack of self control.
Proverbs 5:15-23.

Didn't you see the above scripture in your bible reading?
You have evaded multiple monikers asking you if you will accept illegitimate kids from your wife. Why? Because you cannot swallow the pill you are prescribing. If you cannot do what you are suggesting, why are you trying to oppress someone into doing it? When your wife brings home someone else's kids, use your bible qoute to help you accept and train them.
This woman has suffered all kinds of abuse and oppression, and now that she has mustered the strength to liberate herself, evil people like you are insisting she must remain in that oppressive state in the name of virtuousness. You even had the nerve to tie hers and her children's blessings to her helping the illegitimate kids.
I hope God has a special place in hell for people like you.

Calling him evil is wide and completely off the mark. Maybe he is simply being hypocritical and pretentious. There is nothing that cannot be rationalised, depending on what interest you want to achieve. You seemed surprised he used the Bible to rationalise what is clearly abominable and constitutes a reasonable evidence for divorce. Yet, we should reject his view without resorting to calling him names.

elektra:


Ah, you didn't know that a woman's virtue and submissiveness is directly proportional to how much cra.p she can take from her husband?
She remained in an abusive marriage... not virtuous enough
Worked her ass off to build a home for the family... not submissive enough
Attended naming ceremony of husband's love child... not virtuous enough
Refused to allow husband's kids into her home... Ah! but this is the only way she can become virtuous. The only way she can receive her plaque of virtuousness and submissiveness in heaven is by accepting, loving and raising those kids. Anything less would result in no award and to punish her 'unsubmissiveness' God himself will shorten her ration of blessings and favour.

This is brilliantly written and garnished irony. It also sums up the ordeal of that woman.

pato405:
All I can say is...it appears your mum is truly rude. She made the money but it must have taken over her sense of submission at some point. No man wants to lose his regard simply because he's not making enough cash. The two should be one and whatever your mum has achieved, must not necessarily be publicized as her singular effort.

This has always been the problem...whenever a Nigerian man is the sole bread-winner, it's NEVER news! but when the woman is the bread-winner, there's always rancor, pandemonium & chaos. But why?

You have also taken sides with your mum and painted your dad as a monster. Please don't get married with this bias against men...it will only breed more trouble - often it's the reason why it appears as if divorce runs in some families like a genetic disease. It might not be surprising if your dad's side of the story contradicts yours. To every story, there are two sides. No j
udgement until a balanced case is presented!

May your daughters and sister be undervalued and relegated and abused by their boyfriends and husband despite their sweat and blood. Say amen. It's not a curse but prayer.

pato405:


All I can say is...it appears your mum is truly rude. She made the money but it must have taken over her sense of submission at some point. !

Perhaps, you wuldnt have gotten all the attacks from posters if the above wasnt part of your writeup

I support your stance on handling the whole situation diplomatically but u shuldnt have termed the same woman who had endured over the years of abuse and deciet as "rude and unsubmissive"

The situation on ground is quite complex and if not handled peacefully can lead to serious consequences as hatred from both parties can result to tryin to eliminate one another using fetish means or so.

the father should take the kids to stay with their mum. he can always come to the house since he partly owns the house but he shuldnt make rhe kids live there permanently for peace ro reign. OP, pls tell your mum to be careful also about wat she tells the kids and just handle everytin with wisdom. its not easy being in a compound family system bt am sure she'll handle it as best as she can. it is well

lazeal:


May your daughters and sister be undervalued and relegated and abused by their boyfriends and husband despite their sweat and blood. Say amen. It's not a curse but prayer.

@Pato405, I am claiming this prayer for you.
It will surely happen in your family so that you can sit down and give your useless advise.

OldBeer:
@Pato405, I am claiming this prayer for you.
It will surely happen in your family so that you can sit down and give your useless advise.

this your quote weak me o. Now I don't know if it's for me or pato

lazeal:
this your quote weak me o. Now I don't know if it's for me or pato

Not for you sir.

HerXLNC:


Be like say u read another write up oooo..... She didn't maltreat them and won't.... When dey were babies she bought them clothes and d woman greeted d gesture with stupidity then she stopped..... One of d scenes was that because she gave her rule never to step her foot inside her house.... When she went visiting dem at d house dad rented for them when d kids were babies... The woman too ordered her not to enter her house.... Then she decided that whatever she ll do for d children ll be when they are of age to know d history of the family then they ll be old enough to appreciate the gestures

Your mum's a very kindhearted woman. She didn't deserve the treatment she got from your dad. The actions of many men today makes me bury my head in shame. Your mother deserved better

I feel so pained like your mom is my sister.
She is very soft and theres little you guys can do about it coupled with the fact that she is old she can not do much at the moment.

Your mom telling the children what she said was borne out of keeping too much within herself she just wanted to let something out. She never really wanted to make the children feel bad even if they might end up saying she said something bad cos of the way your dad reacted.

For the house tearing apart don't bother much, the house tore the day your dad made his 4 kid out of wedlock, if the first 3 was a mistake what about the next?

Please babe don't stress your life much with them, let your mom hold on to all her money and you guys should try to get comfortable as fast as possible, your mom will be too busy pursuing children and grandchildren visit for her to remember she has a husband that is misbehaving

Op,go n sit down.this is typical Africa woman mentality.so yr father v never done something gud for u in yr entire life .am supporting domestic violence but most women violence r cause by their sharp n bad mouth .did u know how u were brought up? Most men dnt say bad things about their wives to their children but na women work b dat.esp if d man err.d way u r supporting yr mother is very common to Africa children even if d man deos everything to raise u.immediately there is quarrel,d woman start spoiling d children mind.dnt worry when u get married u will understand.if u show half sympathy u r showing to yr mum to yr dad he will become a better person

lesson

pato405:
Some commentators might be wondering why I am taking my stance on this matter.

Hmmmmm...I really don't know where to start from, but let me put it this way, I have seen a lot in this my little world!

The story OP just narrated up there is an exact replica of what happened to a friend of mine over 25yrs ago! yes! you read right !

To cut the long story short as I do not have the luxury of time, both wives had 5 kids each, but the first wife swore to show the second wife's children hell on earth.

Then, we were both in JSS I think. I remember vividly that he had a younger brother in another class. They were both always looking gloomy, but very brilliant chaps.

I stumbled into him a few months ago and trying to catch-up on lost times, I asked what he was doing (tho I heard through grape vine at some point that he read med & surg). Today, he is an accomplished medical doctor and his younger brother is practicing Law in Michigan, USA.

on the other hand, none of the children from the first wife did well even tho they are all graduates today..many of them are even still searching for jobs.

I enquired about his step-mum, he told me she was bed-ridden with diabetes and things have not been too good with her kids. Guess what, he was the one they all turned to for help. He said he, at first thought of paying them back in their own coin, but later reluctantly decided to help. Now, he is the one footing all the diabetes bills and monitoring step-mums health.

PLS NOTE: This is not a concocted story! it's live

Lesson: be nice to people you meet on your way up, you might just as well meet them on your way down!

Abeg OP, make all of una calm down settle this matter.

My 2 pence.

pato405:
Some commentators might be wondering why I am taking my stance on this matter.

Hmmmmm...I really don't know where to start from, but let me put it this way, I have seen a lot in this my little world!

The story OP just narrated up there is an exact replica of what happened to a friend of mine over 25yrs ago! yes! you read right !

To cut the long story short as I do not have the luxury of time, both wives had 5 kids each, but the first wife swore to show the second wife's children hell on earth.

Then, we were both in JSS I think. I remember vividly that he had a younger brother in another class. They were both always looking gloomy, but very brilliant chaps.

I stumbled into him a few months ago and trying to catch-up on lost times, I asked what he was doing (tho I heard through grape vine at some point that he read med & surg). Today, he is an accomplished medical doctor and his younger brother is practicing Law in Michigan, USA.

on the other hand, none of the children from the first wife did well even tho they are all graduates today..many of them are even still searching for jobs.

I enquired about his step-mum, he told me she was bed-ridden with diabetes and things have not been too good with her kids. Guess what, he was the one they all turned to for help. He said he, at first thought of paying them back in their own coin, but later reluctantly decided to help. Now, he is the one footing all the diabetes bills and monitoring step-mums health.

PLS NOTE: This is not a concocted story! it's live

Lesson: be nice to people you meet on your way up, you might just as well meet them on your way down!

Abeg OP, make all of una calm down settle this matter.

My 2 pence.

This story doesn't mean you shouldn't be objective about this case. Whatever happened to the characters in this story is peculiar to them. You can't say because you have seen things like this happen that you will not call a spade a spade.

Why should the woman suffer for her husband's wandering pinis?
How come you don't see any fault in the man's actions. Rather the woman is the one to blame?

He abuses her and even flogs her with a cane, gets another woman pregnant and expects his wife to fend for them.

Shouldn't the man be responsible for his decisions and actions. But you still blame the woman for everything. It is her fault he impregnated another woman...it is her fault that he cannot provide for them. What kind of reasoning is this?

The man was comfortable and free living on his wife's money and even using it to pay for his irresponsible lifestyle and you still blame her.

People like you will see nothing good in what a woman does. It will always somehow end up being a woman's fault.

That woman is not responsible for those kids. They have a mother and she has her own children. If she decides to help them, it is her choice. The man cannot impose his mistake on her.

I really hope you don't carry this kind of thinking to your home and have this entitlement mentality that whatever you do your wife has to accept it, live with it and even cater for it or else she will be tagged an "unsubmissive" wife