Oh the thought of raising another man's kids has you spitting this much fire.
But you don't mind telling the woman how she should accept it to not appear rude.

Monkey
I've quoted you. Do your worst.

pato405:


Must you resort to insult? You have no brain matter at all.
You are a disgrace to all FOOLS! You've not only publicized how manner-less you are, you've shown your parents invested no effort towards instilling courtesy in you. Woe betide you. I don't blame you. Once nitwits like you run into a few MB data, you come online to spill garbage. If you meet me face-to-face you cannot muster any iota of courage to utter gibberish. silly scumbag. Quote me again at your own peril

pato405:
All I can say is...it appears your mum is truly rude. She made the money but it must have taken over her sense of submission at some point. No man wants to lose his regard simply because he's not making enough cash. The two should be one and whatever your mum has achieved, must not necessarily be publicized as her singular effort.

This has always been the problem...whenever a Nigerian man is the sole bread-winner, it's NEVER news! but when the woman is the bread-winner, there's always rancor, pandemonium & chaos. But why?

You have also taken sides with your mum and painted your dad as a monster. Please don't get married with this bias against men...it will only breed more trouble - often it's the reason why it appears as if divorce runs in some families like a genetic disease. It might not be surprising if your dad's side of the story contradicts yours. To every story, there are two sides. No judgement until a balanced case is presented!

Jesus Christ! That's all you deduced? That the woman is rude & not submissive? I'm lost for words!!!

pato405:


If she wasn't. why threaten to throw the innocent kids from the other woman out? Why not bear them, tolerate, and prove to them that she's truly a tolerant woman? why start telling them that their father did not build the house? she obviously resents them, and truth be told, if those kids grow with that resentment, they'll hate her. It's her house today, who knows tomorrow? Those kids (if shown some luv) might be of help to her & her kids tomorrow. yes, she has her own kids too, who can help her in future, but my brother, the world is a complex place! the vicissitudes of life might just turn the tides. "Help and reward" sometimes comes from where it is least expected - there are countless cases where kids who were victims of maltreatment ESPECIALLY by their step-mums turn out to be last resort for assistance in times of despair. Make una take thins easy o! Lyf na "time & chance"

Human beings like you equate others with qualities only a divine being or divine power could do. The funniest thing is that people like you don't keep to their words. It's not enough to say the woman should have done this & that. It's like when we watch football. The way we abuse all those players as if we can do better than them. Talk is cheap. Anybody can talk but not everyone can actually DO what they say.

Do you know the level of Grace it requires to accommodate children not just from any man but from a lying, cheating, arrogant, wide-beater and irresponsible man? Can you honestly say you can do it?

pato405:


@ bolded: Now you are gradually reasoning with me.

My question now is 'define harm'

do you know that resentment is harm?
do you know that telling them to pack-out is harm?
do you know that relegating their father by telling them he didn't build the house nor achieved anything is harm?

All these constitute psychological harm!

The kids have been born. Let them be..just live & let live

She should try to be nice to them, treat them as she would her own kids. be open minded & let God fight for her.

- If she's truly a virtous woman, her God will fight for her. I say " it's only those who serve dead gods that fight for their gods"

It's in times like these, you know a truly tolerant woman! the lousy ones, will RUN their mouth like tap.

Make una just take things easy.

Virtuous woman? Did I hear you right? I'm sure your own Bible describes a Virtuous woman as one who should suffer for another man's sins. One who suffers emotional, psychological and physical abuse.

I'm sure your dictionary also defines tolerance as being stupid.

She should be nice to the kids & treat them like hers? For real? Did the three of them bear them together? Where are the irresponsible people who birthed them? In as much as I will not encourage her to maltreat the children (which she hasn't done & might not even do cos she's that good ), she shouldn't be answerable to anyone how she chooses to react to them.

MissJoy29:

Human beings like you equate others with qualities only a divine being or divine power could do. The funniest thing is that people like you don't keep to their words. It's not enough to say the woman should have done this & that. It's like when we watch football. The way we abuse all those players as if we can do better than them. Talk is cheap. Anybody can talk but not everyone can actually DO what they say.

Do you know the level of Grace it requires to accommodate children not just from any man but from a lying, cheating, arrogant, wide-beater and irresponsible man? Can you honestly say you can do it?

Have you for once, stopped to ponder on the thought & question why God (or nature if you are an atheist or whatever) would choose a woman over a man to gestate? i.e conceive a child, internally carry the child for months through-out developmental period from fetus to embryo to neonate, nurse the child, breast feed, nurture etc...even among animals, the female does this same task! I tell you, when it comes to passion, compassion, and emotional care, a woman has a softer spot than a man.

@bolded, that grace is what she needs to show now. It's NOT easy, but that is what differentiates a virtuous woman from the ordinary. Those kids will see it, their mum will see it, above all, heavens will see it...and her reward will not elude her. Even if the reward does not come to her directly, it will go to her children..somehow. Don't you stop to ask why some people seem always favored? They put in little effort and achieve so much while others labour so much and achieve only little. You call it blessing, others call it Karma. I tell you - they are most likely reaping the rewards of effort sown by their parents or someone related...not necessarily theirs.

Sometimes I wonder where, when , and how we all lost touch with human sympathy & empathy. The husby did wrong! YES! but can two wrongs make a right? stop to think, if that was the way you were conceived and born. Then, by challenges of lyf, you find yourself in such quagmire at a tender age. what will you do? tell step mum to please oppress you? or starve and send you packing? why can't we for once see other people's challenges as ours and stop to think how or where we can help.

I will advise, if she has enough to spare, let her give the kids from the other woman (except if she doesn't have). Not of necessity or grudginly, but cheerfully.

MissJoy29:

Virtuous woman? Did I hear you right? I'm sure your own Bible describes a Virtuous woman as one who should suffer for another man's sins. One who suffers emotional, psychological and physical abuse.

I'm sure your dictionary also defines tolerance as being stupid.

She should be nice to the kids & treat them like hers? For real? Did the three of them bear them together? Where are the irresponsible people who birthed them? In as much as I will not encourage her to maltreat the children (which she hasn't done & might not even do cos she's that good ), she shouldn't be answerable to anyone how she chooses to react to them.

But Christ "suffered for your own sins and was the one who suffered emotional, psychological and physical abuse" for you.(Isaiah 53 v 5; II Corinth 5 v 21).

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corin 5 v 21)


If you are a true christian, I'm sure you'll be ashamed of what you typed up there after reading those verses.

pato405:


Have you for once, stopped to ponder on the thought & question why God (or nature if you are an atheist or whatever) would choose a woman over a man to gestate? i.e conceive a child, internally carry the child for months through-out developmental period from fetus to embryo to neonate, nurse the child, breast feed, nurture etc...even among animals, the female does this same task! I tell you, when it comes to passion, compassion, and emotional care, a woman has a softer spot than a man.

@bolded, that grace is what she needs to show now. It's NOT easy, but that is what differentiates a virtuous woman from the ordinary. Those kids will see it, their mum will see it, above all, heavens will see it...and her reward will not elude her. Even if the reward does not come to her directly, it will go to her children..somehow. Don't you stop to ask why some people seem always favored? They put in little effort and achieve so much while others labour so much and achieve only little. You call it blessing, others call it Karma. I tell you - they are most likely reaping the rewards of effort sown by their parents or someone related...not necessarily theirs.

Sometimes I wonder where, when , and how we all lost touch with human sympathy. The husby did wrong! YES! but can two wrongs make a right? stop to think, if that was the way you were conceived and born. Then, by challenges of lyf, you find yourself in such quagmire at a tender age. what will you do? tell step mum to please oppress you? or starve and send you packing? why can't we for once see other people's challenges as ours and stop to think how or where we can help.

I will advise, if she has enough to spare, let her give the kids from the other woman (except if she doesn't have). Not of necessity or grudginly, but cheerfully.

oh but I never said she shouldn't help the children (though no one should blame her if she doesn't). What I'm against is you insinuating that if she doesn't help or treat them right, then she's not a Virtuous woman.

Again, her blessings and favour aren't conditional: helping & treating the baby mama and her children right. The fact that she has endured all these years and stoid by him amidst the humiliating circumstances is enough to make her blessings flow.

Also, that a woman is more passionate and compassionate and more emotional than a man doesn't mean she has been equipped with super human abilities to endure ALL THINGS. Women are human beings. Even machines break down and I hear that machines have SUPER human abilities.

Finally, I ask you again, can you tolerate same with your wife?

pato405:


But Christ "suffered for your own sins and was the one who suffered emotional, psychological and physical abuse" for you.(Isaiah 53 v 5; II Corinth 5 v 21).

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corin 5 v 21)


If you are a true christian, I'm sure you'll be ashamed of what you typed up there after reading those verses.

well according to the bible and Christianity Christ is divine, he even rose from the dead, he is even called God.

This woman is a human with emotions she can get hurt and suffer trauma and depression.

So telling her she is not virtuous or submissive for not accepting a lying, cheating, wife beater's illegitimate kids is actually wicked and insensitive. The kids should go to their mum while the father supports they are not her responsibility she can only help if she chose to.

pato405:


But Christ "suffered for your own sins and was the one who suffered emotional, psychological and physical abuse" for you.(Isaiah 53 v 5; II Corinth 5 v 21).

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corin 5 v 21)
I

If you are a true christian, I'm sure you'll be ashamed of what you typed up there after reading those verses.

Thank God even the Bible said "Christ" not "woman" or even "human being". This brings me back to what I said in the other mention. In issues like this, hypocritical and overly judgemental people remember that we should behave like God when we are all human beings who are not perfect.

But they lie and quickly forget that we should behave like God who doesn't lie & commit any sin.
We -as human beings fail & fall. But My God doesn't.

MissJoy29:

oh but I never said she shouldn't help the children (though no one should blame her if she doesn't). What I'm against is you insinuating that if she doesn't help or treat them right, then she's not a Virtuous woman.

Again, her blessings and favour aren't conditional: helping & treating the baby mama and her children right. The fact that she has endured all these years and stoid by him amidst the humiliating circumstances is enough to make her blessings flow.

Also, that a woman is more passionate and compassionate and more emotional than a man doesn't mean she has been equipped with super human abilities to endure ALL THINGS. Women are human beings. Even machines break down and I hear that machines have SUPER human abilities.

Finally, I ask you again, can you tolerate same with your wife?

You are a woman - & I will give you a piece of advise which I plead with you as a woman to please take it to heart very seriously and make it a rule of thumb: "NEVER MALTREAT A CHILD". believe it or not, there's an inexplicable spirit guiding every child. The two step-mums can face themselves and quarrel - that's by all means fine. BUT leave the children & help them if she can!

pato405:


You are a woman - & I will give you a piece of advise which I plead with you as a woman to please take it to heart very seriously and make it a rule of thumb: "NEVER MALTREAT A CHILD". believe it or not, there's an inexplicable spirit guiding every child. The two step-mums can face themselves and quarrel - that's by all means fine. BUT leave the children & help them if she can!

You have been mentioning maltreatment here. The woman in the post didn't do it, I have not said anything to condone it & will never & no one here has said anything about it too. So why are you mentioning it? You have left the issue at hand & started pursuing shadows.

I also have a piece of advice for you. Please don't over labour/burden/stress/test ANY human being in a bid to find out who's virtuous and more compassionate.

Oh and by the way, there's only one step mum in the story & not two like you said

pato405:


I will advise, if she has enough to spare, let her give the kids from the other woman (except if she doesn't have). Not of necessity or grudginly, but cheerfully.

I love d adverbial clause of condition.... Buh she doesn't ve enough to spare...... And to correct your notion she doesn't have that strenght to nurse any child not to talk of 4 boys.... She can't be a nanny or cook for dem... She got no time n strenght as she leave for work b4 5.30am n return in d evening.... She sef ll appreciate if she cud get someone to do her domestic needs like cooking.... She's close to 60yrs consider d traffic stress in Lagos....


You're making this sound like a debate that u wanna raise point to win.....

pato405:


But Christ "suffered for your own sins and was the one who suffered emotional, psychological and physical abuse" for you.(Isaiah 53 v 5; II Corinth 5 v 21).

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corin 5 v 21)


If you are a true christian, I'm sure you'll be ashamed of what you typed up there after reading those verses.

That's why she's not Jesus Christ... She Cant be d one to pay d price for someone carelessness and lustful exuberance ....she still has obligation towards her children and life after retirement.... She need rest

pato405:


You are a woman - & I will give you a piece of advise which I plead with you as a woman to please take it to heart very seriously and make it a rule of thumb: "NEVER MALTREAT A CHILD". believe it or not, there's an inexplicable spirit guiding every child. The two step-mums can face themselves and quarrel - that's by all means fine. BUT leave the children & help them if she can!

Be like say u read another write up oooo..... She didn't maltreat them and won't.... When dey were babies she bought them clothes and d woman greeted d gesture with stupidity then she stopped..... One of d scenes was that because she gave her rule never to step her foot inside her house.... When she went visiting dem at d house dad rented for them when d kids were babies... The woman too ordered her not to enter her house.... Then she decided that whatever she ll do for d children ll be when they are of age to know d history of the family then they ll be old enough to appreciate the gestures

When you leave men to make laws they will even start suggesting that the women are solely responsible for breadwinning and homekeeping while the man goes about spending his own money on himself and his "naturally polygamous" lifestyle. Fools.

A very irresponsible man shamelessly brought his four bastard children to live in the house his wife built and one male specie is here arguing page after page about how she should lovingly care for the kids so as to be virtuous and christ like.

Its the woman's fault entirely. She should have nipped this thing in the bud from day one. Since its has gotten so far the only thing she can do now is apply wisdom.
She should not provide for those kids financially or materially. She should be smart and shower them with love and kind treatment but when it comes to buying things for them let her hide her money and tell them in a pitiful voice that she has nothing; she has spent everything on her kids already, eyaaa

Let their useless papa and mama provide for them instead.

And no, the above advice is not wickedness, its wisdom. The woman is too quiet that's why the man keeps treating her like a fool and taking her for granted. Let her hide her own money from her husband and his four bastards so that the man and woman that gave birth to them will go out and hustle to cater for them instead of using another persons head.

pato405:


But Christ "suffered for your own sins and was the one who suffered emotional, psychological and physical abuse" for you.(Isaiah 53 v 5; II Corinth 5 v 21).

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corin 5 v 21)


If you are a true christian, I'm sure you'll be ashamed of what you typed up there after reading those verses.

You Sir, are an evil person. It is absolutely evil to use the bible as a tool of oppression.
It is when it relates to women that you will start quoting bible to suit your evil purposes.

You should be faithful to your wife, just as you take water from your own well and don't be like a stream from which just any woman may take a drink.
Save yourself for your wife and don't have sex with other women. Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. She is beautiful and graceful just like a deer; you should be attracted to her and stay deeply in love.
Don't go crazy over a woman who is unfaithful to her husband! The Lord sees everything and he watches us closely. Sinners are trapped and caught by their own evil deeds. They get lost and die because of their foolishness and lack of self control.
Proverbs 5:15-23.

Didn't you see the above scripture in your bible reading?
You have evaded multiple monikers asking you if you will accept illegitimate kids from your wife. Why? Because you cannot swallow the pill you are prescribing. If you cannot do what you are suggesting, why are you trying to oppress someone into doing it? When your wife brings home someone else's kids, use your bible qoute to help you accept and train them.
This woman has suffered all kinds of abuse and oppression, and now that she has mustered the strength to liberate herself, evil people like you are insisting she must remain in that oppressive state in the name of virtuousness. You even had the nerve to tie hers and her children's blessings to her helping the illegitimate kids.
I hope God has a special place in hell for people like you.

[quote author=pato405 post=61014715]All I can say is...it appears your mum is truly rude. She made the money but it must have taken over her sense of submission at some point. No man wants to lose his regard simply because he's not making enough cash. The two should be one and whatever your mum has achieved, must not necessarily be publicized as her singular effort.

This has always been the problem...whenever a Nigerian man is the sole bread-winner, it's NEVER news! but when the woman is the bread-winner, there's always rancor, pandemonium & chaos. But why?

You have also taken sides with your mum and painted your dad as a monster. Please don't get married with this bias against men...it will only breed more trouble - often it's the reason why it appears as if divorce runs in some families like a genetic disease. It might not be surprising if your dad's side of the story contradicts yours. To every story, there are two sides. No judgement until a balanced case is presented![/quote

I don't think you read the story.the moment any many begins to physically abuse his wife he loses every self worth she has for him.if she is now the bread winner and he is unappreciative of her input into the family he is not fit to be called a husband.
See if a woman is the bread winner but sees that her husband makes an effort of his own the respect remains.but if all he does is nag,calls her names,maltreat her,make the home uncomfortable for no.she naturally in turn looses every self respect or entitlement she gives to him.from the op story all I can say was your dad is just a sperm donor cause it seems you mum was 90% responsible for you and your sibling upkeep financially,spiritually, mentally,academically... It takes a woman with the fear of God word and ways with lots of patience and tolerance to still tolerate all the things your father did..

The moment any man begins to physically abuse his wife he loses every self worth she has for him.if she is now the bread winner and he is unappreciative of her input into the family he is not fit to be called a husband.
See if a woman is the bread winner but sees that her husband makes an effort of his own the respect remains.but if all he does is nag,calls her names,maltreat her,make the home uncomfortable for no.she naturally in turn looses every self respect or entitlement she gives to him.from the op story all I can say was your dad is just a sperm donor cause it seems you mum was 90% responsible for you and your sibling upkeep financially,spiritually, mentally,academically... It takes a woman with the fear of God word and ways with lots of patience and tolerance to still tolerate all the things your father did..

HerXLNC:


I scolded her for sending a msg tru them back to their mother ...she said she wanted to plant the notion that their father has no property... So they shd know that for future reference

She did the best thing. Atleast now the children will know that it's not their father's property.

@ Op, till ya papa come here come tell us im own side, I no go talk kpakam

cjeriia:
@ Op, till ya papa come here come tell us im own side, I no go talk kpakam

You go wait tire... I didn't come here to write with biased mind so as get real solution to provide.... If you read well I wrote d weaknesses of both....i wrote as an umpire to give d true picture of what is happening:

Update: dad himself called a pastor friend when d house was boiling and they resolved with him to return d children immediately that it's not acceptable he has since done that.... And these were d same people that told him not to try it initially oooo.... Tho mum wasn't there when he was been talked to and I wasn't there either d pastor gave me update

HerXLNC:
Update: dad himself called a pastor friend when d house was boiling and they resolved with him to return d children immediately that it's not acceptable he has since done that.... And these were d same people that told him not to try it initially oooo.... Tho mum wasn't there when he was been talked to and I wasn't there either d pastor gave me update

stop calling that mumu,idiotic and stupid man your dad...may dangote trailer jam him whenever he tries to cross the road,may he not return alive tomorrow for all the trouble he brought to your mother....

Your dad is dead,stop calling him your dad..

Futureberry:
stop calling that mumu,idiotic and stupid man your dad...may dangote trailer jam him whenever he tries to cross the road,may he not return alive tomorrow for all the trouble he brought to your mother....

Your dad is dead,stop calling him your dad..

Yo easy

Your mum has been too nice, too kind, too submissive, too soft.

I blame her really. She wasn't penniless or dependent, yet she allowed herself go through such emotional and physical trauma. She took in everything he gave her without uttering a word. You sure say no be your mama born Jesus?

The truth is, if you give menpeople leg, they will be looking for ways to collect leggings. If you no open eye dem go wan chook hand for inside your nose. The only reason your father brought those children to her house is because he knew she would let him. And she did didn't she? Your father has fed that woman śhit and she has eaten every last bit of it.

Mtchhew. Na wen day don break she wan begin open eye. She will not divorce him joor. She will feed and cloth and educate those children and they will grow up and still feel she owes them something. Their mother will never utter a word of thanks and your father will blame her for their existence. And he will be backed up by men like that person up there. They will call her names, degrade her for being the breadwinner, say that she was too rude, not virtuous enough, and let's not forget their favourite term. She wasn't submissive enough.

You, op will not be left out either. You also are to be blamed for your father's mistakes because, how dare you not take his side? You must be a woman, ruled by emotions, brainwashed by your mother, who is also ruled by emotions. Yes. Your mother probably never suffered all the things you want to make us believe she did. And even if she did, it must have been her being the breadwinner that caused it. Oh.. You're a man? Then you are a young naive man that doesn't know his left from his right. Don't you know your mother should be submissive and be virtuous and christlike and accept the children? Don't you know she should feed and clothe and care for the reminders of your father's numerous fuckings with his side chic?

Lol. Nairaland has shown me madness in high places.

pato405:
All I can say is...it appears your mum is truly rude. She made the money but it must have taken over her sense of submission at some point. No man wants to lose his regard simply because he's not making enough cash. The two should be one and whatever your mum has achieved, must not necessarily be publicized as her singular effort.

This has always been the problem...whenever a Nigerian man is the sole bread-winner, it's NEVER news! but when the woman is the bread-winner, there's always rancor, pandemonium & chaos. But why?
You have also taken sides with your mum and painted your dad as a monster. Please don't get married with this bias against men...it will only breed more trouble - often it's the reason why it appears as if divorce runs in some families like a genetic disease. It might not be surprising if your dad's side of the story contradicts yours. To every story, there are two sides. No judgement until a balanced case is presented!

permit me to reply you based the statement that's in bold
i totally disagree with you on this .. i can almost relate to what the OP is going through cos we had similar issue in the family my dad had a job but hen it was just not enough to take us through and mum luckily had a stepup in her business which paid off more than what daddy earned back then
so my mum became almost the sole bread winner of the family we had no issue in the house not until dad started putting up some funny attitude .. mum hired a PI only to find out my dad had a mistress and she is feeding him with stories of different things hence the funny attitude .. my parents started having issues after that and there was no peace they even separated for a while .. but thank God i dunno what happened Dad got back to his senses and everything became normal btw him and mum and they are happy no

the main reason for the story is that not all women get cocky iff they end up being the bread winner of the house sometimes the mistress is the one putting him up to all this, men tilt more to the touch of a woman who massages his ego better and make him feel more like a man he is and since her mummy is the bread winner it smashes her dad's ego to the wall hence a hole for the mistress to fill his head with bull shit
personally I think and i know the dad is to blame
please change the assertion you have about Nigerian women ,..most men driving cars, looking good and dressing well even spending good cash are all sponsored by their wives

HerXLNC:
The issues behind my parent feud is something that has accumulated over years! Buh I ll brief it the way the story is:

We grew up seeing my dad domestically abuse my mother to the point that she flogs her with cane n use fist on her.... These things have made me develop a level of hatred for him buh there's nothing we cud do to help as we were kids....

My mum is a workaholic n in turn she became d bread winner of the house cuz she earn more... Fast forward to the past 11 years my dad took to d advice of people I still regards as fools even when I don't know them.... The advice is "when you're dealing with a wife that is not submissive marry another woman to relegate her " his definition of submission is something I don't know till when I became adult ....i got to know that he likes to dictates n the ego of the head of the house have swallowed him.... He doesn't want his decision questioned cuz he feels his wiser than all: so he had an extra marital affair and got a lady pregnant which have birth to a triplet.... Meanwhile the legally married wife have birth to four " 3 girls n a boy"

Mum accepted it as error n never wanted it to affect her home n her marriage.... She did d naming with them n reached a verbal agreement with her husband that he should be sending them money n not to marry d woman..... Later issues came up... My dad start sneaking there in d name of vigil n mum as use an informant on him...so she got to know.... Dad in defense said if he doesnt marry her who does she expect to marry a lady after 3 children n later they gave birth to another child again ... At this point mum said okay Im letting you go... You can't be having sex with that woman that has indecent story n have sex with me...using sexually transmitted disease has a yardstick.... Overtime mum withdrew her financial support from dad so the new wife could see the true picture....as a result dad went really down and mum had so much addition to her assets... When dad went down issues start springing forth from his new wife, cud not pay rent of the house they were staying after selling his cars n to cut d story short he sold his last asset to get his footings back after going to pray from mountain to mountain and he returned home....fast forward 2yrs to d present now.... some days ago he said he want to be bringing the children home to spend holiday with him n mum was like no not in this house she built....yes 80-90% of the cost the house is from her sweat.... They called pastors n family to d issue n dad said okay he won't do that again... Now yesterday he brought d four children home... Mum was calm till Diz afternoon cuz I told her not to alter a word as she said she ll file a case against him in the court... Buh Diz afternoon she lost her calmness and started telling d children that... She doesn't hate them buh she hate their father and they should tell their father to build house for them and their mum cuz she built that house....so they shd know it's not their fathers house..... I was trying to go caution her when I heard dad said this thing you're doing when these children grow up they ll get a gun and kill you.... Then I got mad and say WTF.... Y would u say such....kill who! No no this is d height of it and for the statement he just made he shd forget he has me and my siblings. And I personally ll deal with him if he try any crazy move:


Advise is needed.... Mothers in d house, lawyers and Co....

My mum n dad are close to 60yrs ....over 30
Yrs in marriage yet no peace

Sorry for the long story I want advisers to get clear pictures.... Pardon my grammatical blunders as m feeling lazy to proof read

gal i feel ya pain .. your mummy is a good woman and she deserves to be treated right
i will suggest she involves the police cos of the threat ya dad meted out on her he should sign some sought of agreement .. then maybe she can file for a divorce cos with what i have read from ya story your mum is so going through alot an that can cause her to breakdown ... she needs to be happy and being with that man ya dad is not healthy for her

Khonifer:
Your mum has been too nice, too kind, too submissive, too soft.

I blame her really. She wasn't penniless or dependent, yet she allowed herself go through such emotional and physical trauma. She took in everything he gave her without uttering a word. You sure say no be your mama born Jesus?

The truth is, if you give menpeople leg, they will be looking for ways to collect leggings. If you no open eye dem go wan chook hand for inside your nose. The only reason your father brought those children to her house is because he knew she would let him. And she did didn't she? Your father has fed that woman śhit and she has eaten every last bit of it.

Mtchhew. Na wen day don break she wan begin open eye. She will not divorce him joor. She will feed and cloth and educate those children and they will grow up and still feel she owes them something. Their mother will never utter a word of thanks and your father will blame her for their existence. And he will be backed up by men like that person up there. They will call her names, degrade her for being the breadwinner, say that she was too rude, not virtuous enough, and let's not forget their favourite term. She wasn't submissive enough.

You, op will not be left out either. You also are to be blamed for your father's mistakes because, how dare you not take his side? You must be a woman, ruled by emotions, brainwashed by your mother, who is also ruled by emotions. Yes. Your mother probably never suffered all the things you want to make us believe she did. And even if she did, it must have been her being the breadwinner that caused it. Oh.. You're a man? Then you are a young naive man that doesn't know his left from his right. Don't you know your mother should be submissive and be virtuous and christlike and accept the children? Don't you know she should feed and clothe and care for the reminders of your father's numerous fuckings with his side chic?

Lol. Nairaland has shown me madness in high places.

Ah, you didn't know that a woman's virtue and submissiveness is directly proportional to how much cra.p she can take from her husband?
She remained in an abusive marriage... not virtuous enough
Worked her ass off to build a home for the family... not submissive enough
Attended naming ceremony of husband's love child... not virtuous enough
Refused to allow husband's kids into her home... Ah! but this is the only way she can become virtuous. The only way she can receive her plaque of virtuousness and submissiveness in heaven is by accepting, loving and raising those kids. Anything less would result in no award and to punish her 'unsubmissiveness' God himself will shorten her ration of blessings and favour.

kimbraa:
Your dad was physically abusing your mum with cane and she endowed.

He impregnated another woman and she went for their naming ceremony. Now, he brought the kids he had outside into a house she built and she's complaining. Well, I think she has shown your dad that she needed to bear his surname more than anything.

Since she's been endowing, telling the kids that the house doesn't belong to their father when she no longer needed their presence was a childish move. Even if the man has fùcked up in the past, she encouraged it, supported him at some point so she should've used wisdom rather for him to send the kids back to their mother. Least I forget, kids whose mother's bride price isn't paid are illegitimate so why is she worried whether they stay or not?.

Hmmm.. true.

pato405:
Some commentators might be wondering why I am taking my stance on this matter.

Hmmmmm...I really don't know where to start from, but let me put it this way, I have seen a lot in this my little world!

The story OP just narrated up there is an exact replica of what happened to a friend of mine over 25yrs ago! yes! you read right !

To cut the long story short as I do not have the luxury of time, both wives had 5 kids each, but the first wife swore to show the second wife's children hell on earth.

Then, we were both in JSS I think. I remember vividly that he had a younger brother in another class. They were both always looking gloomy, but very brilliant chaps.

I stumbled into him a few months ago and trying to catch-up on lost times, I asked what he was doing (tho I heard through grape vine at some point that he read med & surg). Today, he is an accomplished medical doctor and his younger brother is practicing Law in Michigan, USA.

on the other hand, none of the children from the first wife did well even tho they are all graduates today..many of them are even still searching for jobs.

I enquired about his step-mum, he told me she was bed-ridden with diabetes and things have not been too good with her kids. Guess what, he was the one they all turned to for help. He said he, at first thought of paying them back in their own coin, but later reluctantly decided to help. Now, he is the one footing all the diabetes bills and monitoring step-mums health.

PLS NOTE: This is not a concocted story! it's live

Lesson: be nice to people you meet on your way up, you might just as well meet them on your way down!

Abeg OP, make all of una calm down settle this matter.

My 2 pence.

I get your point..

HerXLNC:



How did she appear rude? No one knew she's d sole financial of the house till the issue came up.... She was d financial backbone of dads business....she has tolerated too much.... The money never took over her.... Lemme give instances.... She wakes by 5am n get home by 6 or 7pm yet a man that has little or nothing to do still want her to perform some duties as if she's a house wife... It can't work mehn!....she was ready to support her husband to compete with big men outside.... Buh dad keeps complaining of not getting sex! That was his reason for going out.... I told him women subjected to hardship n stress hardly have urge for sex....thats his problem as men that have less worries n things to occupy their minds with often get Hot most time

To correct your impression I'm a man in my late 20s I'm just using my sisters account to pass my worries cuz I wanna remain anonymous to people that know me too well

Eyaaa. Your mum tried o ...