The first time my father talked to me about sex was... Never. I heard it first from friends, most of whom barely knew what it meant, what it's for and how it all affects life as a whole. We are men...but the truth is we just grow up like weed in the fields, hoping we might bud a flower.

Out of hundreds of young men I have interacted with over the years, I see a yearning for help covered up with the "I'm a big boy" facade. A girl grows up naturally attuned to being a woman and she does a beautiful job, even without a woman figure before. The little girl asks for a baby doll and tells everyone "see my baby", she bathes the doll, feeds it, dresses it up, fixes the hair, even uses make-up on the poor thing, the girl child grows up already with the instincts of a woman.

Naturally, boys grow up practically figuring out what their lives must be about. The boys grow up hidden, changes are internalized, their worlds recreated without the next person knowing what revolves around it...and when they express fear or shed a tear, the next words they hear are "Big boys...don't cry".

The world they love caters to the women and the girls, their rights, health, against trafficking, abuse, etc and rightfully so, because right from time they have been seen and perceived as the weaker vessel, yet neglect the strength the man has as a mere potential. But the boys are screaming, crying for help while they sink into the abyss called "manness".

So... my father never spoke to me about love and affection, respect and dignity, values I should live my life by, or how I should find my life's passion and sense of worth. He's not alone... I bet your father is almost exactly like mine... if not exact.

A young man I once spoke with said, "The best advice I got from my father was 'Be a man!', on the table was a bottle of liquor and a stash of weed, while he toggled his left hand around his privates" Like it or not, that is the story of most men... It may not be liquor or weed, but it is always a sense of testing strength... Work, money, position or status, building a reputation at the expense of family, how strong you are, how far you can go, how long you can take it and how many you can count. Let's not be quick to blame our fathers, hardly were they taught anything by their own fathers.

Deprived of love and fundamentals of humanity, the men grow up with the ideals that men should truly be like the 300 Spartans... And at the end, they die. My first question to most boys that come to me for some form of help, assistance or mentorship is, "What is your definition of 'Being a man'?"... None ever come up with one asides the reference to their genitals. Boys are screaming like the goldfish in a boiling glass...tick, tock, tick, tock. Their worlds are heating up, unprepared for the roles they have been born into...

Unfortunately, this life is not Microsoft Word where Ctrl+Z would undo errors, neither is it Temple Run...there is no Restart button. The devil knows this and is effectively after the men, because he understands that if he can destroy the seed, the fruit will be useless and the cycle continues.

Sad but true

I cherish this write up. Good job