8.My UNCLE is new to Facebook and has been trying to SEARCH for ME but can't find ME because he's BUSY typing "My Sister's 1st Born.

He go search till eternity.


7. My dear sisters,
If you sneeze and your boobs don't move...
You are a boy.....don't argue it's in the constitution!!!!!

6. To All The Guys Who Can't Do Without Spraying Insecticide Daily. The day a mosquito lands on your testicles is the day you will know there is a better way of resolving issues without using violence.

5. ​My friend you won't know the importance of algebra until your sweetheart calls you X and you don't know Y​�☹

4. After John finished smoking the best grade of weed, he went home high and out of his mind. He walked in and sat in the lounge where his Dad was. He kept staring at his Dad and after a long while he asked his Dad "Excuse me, can I ask you something" Then his Dad said sure. Then John goes on to say "Your face looks very familiar sir, have we met before?"


3. U go to club, u smoke cigarettes, weed and end it with shi-sha.

But ur mother ask u to cook with firewood and u will be like u don't like.. mom I don't like smoke.

Amadioha fall on u.

2. Your bae uploaded a picture of her kissing another guy, but because u re using airtel free Facebook with out picture you commented "Nice one bae, keep it up.
Ode don't go and subscribe.


1. ​What is love?​

Love is when your husband catches you with another man naked and still say "honey, dress up, let's go home.


​What is death?​

Death is when you follow him
[10/15, 7:12 PM] Blaise Ikpe: This question was asked on Twitter moments ago;

"As a graduate, would you accept a job of N900,000 monthly as a Gateman?"

Here were the crazy and hilarious responses that followed....... Nigerians, I hail thee

1. I would have said NO but my hobbies include opening and closing of gate...

2. Why I con go school na, if not to be a young smart gateman? My dream job, we're all gatemen in our family.

3. See you, gateman that am doing free of charge most days these days..... Izz like u want me to resume on credit already, abi?

4. I would even work seven days a week and twice on Sundays.... I go even train my pikin to take over from me.

5. I can be the gateman, the dog, the security lights and the alarm ��

6 After taking the job, I would pick up a form to do my masters and PhD in Opening gate and security science to be a better gateman

7. I started opening gate when I was 6 months old, so I hv too much experience plsss. Where can I apply?

8. Is it not just to open and close gate? Call me your GM.. Boss of the gate.. Commander in chief of the gate forces. When do I start?

9. Some are gatemen, some are Senior Access Controllers.. I'd even combine the two together.

10. Me that i will use my certificate to be fanning myself beside the gate when am feeling heat.
11. Me that opened my mother's womb, what is gate?