My Axx On Fire! - Abudumarruk Cries Out!
What the hell is wrong with you?

Am I supposed to answer that question?

Is it not because of you that our Senate has given the USA a four-day ultimatum to remove our name from their terrorist list?

Why can’t we create our own terrorist list and name all their 77 States as terrorists? What’s the big deal?

77 States? Anyways, the big deal is the type of searching I had to undergo at various airports! Just flying from Nigeria to here to conduct this interview, security people stripped me stark naked and used hi-tech lenses and search lights to peep into my axx!

Did you come with suya?

What? You think I am here to play with you lunatic and idiot! Eh Marruk?

You people should stop calling me Marruk. My name is not Marruk!

I can call you whatever I want! Do you think anyone cares what they call you? Right now 150 million people are calling you 150 million names including “Maluu”!

Do I look like Nama to you? Maluu is Nama and from Nama we get suya!

Sharap and listen to me you imbecilitic coward!

You actually think I’m coward? OK, come closer and look. Look at my legs, look at my neck! Look at my axx! Just look at me: all burnt up like a common suya? Tell me how many cowards can take such a pain in their axx? Look at me bearing my own pain in the axx and you have the nerve to call me coward?

Why should I feel for you? Are you not the one that burnt yourself in the axx?

Mr Journalist, do you know something? As I’m talking to you right now, I am nothing but a hopelessly burnt-axx-mother-four-car!

Didn’t you know the consequence before doing it?

What did I do?

Hello Why did your stupid-ignorant-axx try to bomb the plane? Nigerians don’t bomb aeroplanes! We know what we do! We are not terrorists! Now you have played us into the waiting hands of USA and CNN! Making our Senate look like a Movie Theatre! Why did you try to explode a plane on a Christmas day? Why!!!!

Are you not listening to me? Are you deaf? Did the bomb explode? No! Did the plane eventually “bomb”? Hell-mother-four-king, no! Is anybody dead? No way Jose! Did anyone end up with burnt feet? Yes! Who? Me!!! Burnt legs! Me! Burnt neck? Me! Whose mother-four-king axx is burnt? Mine! Does that now tell you I’m the only murder-four-king victim in that mother-four-king aircraft!

This interview is over.

Why?

Because it is now proven! You are crazy!

Shege! Barawo! Banza! You are the one who is crazy! Take a look at my axx! Does my axx look completely burnt out, or what? My axx now looks like a kirishi-suya! Even the burning has now reached my “abunna” region! 777 virgins are waiting for me! What am I gonna do with 777 virgins with a burnt-up-abunna?

It is called “crime and consequence”. You have to be responsible for your actions! The only issue now is the way you are dragging a nation minus a president into a brand new year kicked off with a terrorist image! You are worst than a traitor!

Are you Christiana Amanpour?

As you can see I am a man, there is no way I could be Christiana Amanpour!

Are you are Christian?

That is your problem! You think everything is all about religious fanaticism and insane extremism! Now see what you got?

What is your name?

Sammy Yoyo.

What TV or Radio?

Newspaper – The Sun!

Are you that Sammy Yoyo? Thick Madam has a lot to say of you. But I thought you only interview naked women. Tell me, do I really look like a naked woman?

Don’t you wish you are a naked woman right now?

Hmmm, right now, anything is better than this pain in the axx! Please help me!

I can’t help you till you tell me why you did it.

Did what? I was lonely and one night some “Yeah Men” dudes came around and made me hit some pot with them! After that I swear all I could see was Mr. Jack Bauer and sometimes, with his friend, Tony. They follow me all the time and when I told my “Yeah Men” associates they said I was already radicalised! The next thing I knew was we started showing off our axxes to each other and because we are always high we started experimenting with powders… oh, my axx o! my axx oo!!! A

Oh, shut up and listen! You come from a very wonderful and wealthy home. Your father is a very important successful great man! You have at least 150 brothers and sisters and cousins and nephews and nieces and kiths and kins! Why did you avoid all these nice people and started showing off your “axx” at some “Yeah Menics”? See now, what you get carrying explosive powders right inside your axx? Eh Marruk?

Stop insulting me by calling me that name!

Marruk! Marruk! Marruk! Marruk! Marruk! Marruk! Marruk! Marruk! Marruk! Marruk! Marruk! Marruk! Marruk! I can call you Marrruk as many times as I wish! What is your dumb-burnt-axx gonna do about it?

Now you are doing exactly as the Americans predicted! Blames and counter blames going on plus division and hate and bickering here and there! “Crucify me! Crucify me!”, but why is CNN not projecting my father? A father reported a son over some “Yeah Men” agenda, and what did they do with the report? Tell me, Sammy Yoyo, these days, how many fathers report their “high” sons to “high” authorities?

Can you explain this further?

No!

Why not?

Unless you get me some suya!

You almost sounded reasonable and the next minute you are an axx! Are you that dumb?

You think I am dumb? OK, apart from Emeke Ekay and me, who else is the dumb-axx Mechanical Engineer? In fact I am even better than Emeke Ekay because his own Engineering is local while mine is UK…

You actually think your retarded burnt-axx is more educated than Emeke Ekay just because your father is able to house you in 4-Million Pounds home while you wasted money pretending you went to school in the UK? What makes you think you are better than Emeke Ekay?

Ofofolofo-gaal says Emeke Ekay is running around town with his loaded gun looking for AGN people to shoot.

So you actually believe that while you are busy inserting explosive powders inside your axx-whole trying to bomb a plane! Didn’t you hear what the Brick-Layer, Luchianor, had to say after?

What did he say?

Stop changing the topic but I want you to know this: Stop comparing your burnt-axx with Emeke Ekay! While you are a lunatic looser, Emeke Ekay is the new AGN president!

No he’s not! Black Arrow is the new AGN president!

Who is Black Arrow?

Nwanyi Nganga.

Who is Nwanyi Nganga?

Sheh-Geh!

Who is Sheh-Geh?

Black Arrow.

Who is Black Arrow?

How many times will I tell you? Nwanyi Nganga!

Who is Nwanyi Nganga?

Where is my suya?

You are a disgrace to Nigeria.

You are also a disgrace to Nigeria because you only interview naked women!

I am short of words! You are a big disgrace to yourself! I have to go now!

Before you go, please give me the telephone number of Jack Bauer?

Why should I have Jack Bauer’s telephone number, and why should I give it to you?

I need Jack Bauer to go get me suya under an hour! Tell him to come with Dr Phill! I need him to do plastic surgery on my “abunna” before those 777 virgins will leave me for some other “high” “Yeah-Men” dudes!!! Help! My axx is on fire!!!!!

I can’t believe your M.O for this irrational act is just to satisfy some selfish “abunna” with “777 virgins” bull-sheet!!! My prayer for you is that your axx will keep burning while giant maggots eat up every single piece of that your cowardly “abunna” before you finally die! Marruk!!!!



http://theasylummovie..com/2010/03/my-axx-on-fire-abudumarruk-cries-out.html

na wah o nah so ebi for those we no one portray goog Naija one people, great nation

"I can call you whatever I want! Do you think anyone cares what they call you? Right now 150 million people are calling you 150 million names including “Maluu”!"

I can't fit laff

Ben Pls give me summary!!!

tRY and read.