Though every relationship may have its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the challenges and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. Many achieve this by attending seminars, reading self-help books and articles, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or using trial and error method.


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1. Issue of Communication

Most relationship issues emanate from poor communication because you cannot communicate while you’re checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section, according to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families.

How to solve Issue of communication

You should make an actual appointment with each other. Put the kids to bed, put the cell phones on vibrate, and allow voicemail pick up your calls.
If you can’t talk to each other without yelling, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you’d be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.
Set up some rules.
Avoid interjecting until your partner is done speaking.
Use body language to show you’re listening to your partner. Don’t roll your eyes, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you’re getting the message they are trying to pass across no matter how irrelevant. Rephrase if you need to, but in a nicer way.

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2. Issue of Sex

Some partners who are besotted to each other can still encounter sexual compatibility issues. Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says a lack of sexual self-awareness and education deteriorates these problems. Sex has the power to draw couple closer together, releases hormones that keep the bodies physically and mentally active, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy.

Solving issues of sex

Make an appointment to have an alone-time with your partner, but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. It could be during the baby’s Saturday afternoon nap or a “before-work quickie.” Ask friends or family to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. Experts claim placing sex is on the calendar helps to increase your anticipation. Changing things up a bit, like the styles and positions, can make sex more fun. It mustn’t always be on bed. Why not have sex in the kitchen? Or by the fire? Or standing up in the hallway?
Learns things that turns you and your partner on by coming up with a personal “Sexy List,” suggests California psychotherapist Allison Cohen.
You can employ the services of a qualified sex therapist if you are still having issues with your sexual relationship.

3. Issues of Money

Money problems can come up anytime during courtship or even after wedding. The couple can argue over the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding.

Solving Issues of Money:

Be honest about to your spouse about your current financial situation. There’s absolutely no need to involve in extravagant expenses just to impress your spouse when in reality, you’re financially down.
Don’t be too confrontational when addressing money issues with your spouse. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient for both of you to discuss your financial status and way forward.
One partner may be a saver and one a spender, apprehend there are benefits to both, and learn from each other’s propensities.
Don’t hide income or debt. Bring financial documents to the table.
Don’t play blame-game.
Construct a joint budget that includes savings.
Decide who gets to pay the monthly bills.
Give room for each person to have objectivity by setting aside money to be spent at his or her will.
Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It’s good to have separate goals, but you should have family goals too.

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4. Struggles Over Household Chores

Most partners work outside the home and at more than one job. So it’s imperative to fairly divide the labor at home, says Paulette Kouffman-Sherman, author of Dating From the Inside Out.

Problem-solving strategies:

Be ordered and clear about your individual jobs in the home, write all the jobs down and agree on who does what. Be fair.
Be open to other solutions. If both of you detest housework, you can hire the services of a cleaner or maid. If one of you likes house chores, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard.

5. Issues of Not Making Your Relationship a Priority

Longevity of love life in relationships can be achieved if you make your relationship a focal point. All the lovey-dovey shout not abruptly or gradually end the moment you get married.

Solving Issues of Relationship Priority:

Don’t stop doing the things you do when you were first dating.
Show appreciation, complement each other, contact each other through the day no matter how busy you are.
Plan date nights.
Respect one another. Say “thank you,” and “I appreciate…” It allows your partner know that they matter.

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6. Issue of Conflict

New York-based psychologist Susan Silverman says conflict is a part of life. You can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues if they keep repeating.

Solving conflict issues:

You and your partner can learn to argue in a more courteous way, Silverman says. Make these tactics part of who you are in the relationship.

Realize you are not a victim. It is your choice whether and how you react.
Be honest with yourself. When you’re in the midst of an row, your comments should be geared toward resolving the conflict not spiteful or looking for payback.
Change it up. You can’t continue to retort in the way that’s brought you unhappiness in the past, and expect a different result. One little shift can make a big difference.
Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you’re wrong.
7. Issue of Trust

Trust is a vital part of a relationship. Do you have unsettled issues that prevent you from trusting your spouse? If there are certain things that prevent you from trusting your partner, then you need to look into those issues.

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Solving Trust Issue:

To develop trust in each other both of you should:

Be consistent.
Be on time.
Do what you say you will do.
Don’t lie no matter how trivial the issue is.
Be fair, even in a squabble.
Be sensitive to the other’s feelings. You can disagree, but don’t disregard how your partner is feeling.
Call when you say you will.
Call to say you’ll be home late.
Carry your fair share of the workload.
Don’t overreact when things go wrong.
Never say things you can’t take back.
Don’t dig up old wounds.
Respect your partner’s boundaries.
Don’t be overly jealous.
Be a good listener.

Though there are always going to be glitches in a relationship, but both partners can do things to curtail marital crisis to avoid separation or divorce.

Be realistic, don’t think your spouse will meet all your needs and will even be able to figure them out without your asking; that’s absurd. Also be humorous. Endeavor to let things go and enjoy each other’s company.

Finally, you must be willing to work on your relationship and to rightly look at what needs to be done.

Source: http://www.healthdiary365.com/2017/10/30/7-solutions-that-can-save-a-relationship-for-married-and-singles/

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