Pls o some people are still commenting by this time hmmmmmm am here because of work and night duty for that matter can come do the night for me i need good sleep

Bobugee:



You were making a lot of sense not until when I read close to the last paragraph where you finally messed up your opinions.


Look,the best thing to do in this kind of situation is to get a counselor, either a family or marriage counselor to counsel them....For Christ sake, how long would this last??

I just gave an honest opinion and trust me my husband knows this. The day he cheats all bets are off. . .

I would have agreed that getting a counselor is a good idea, but is the man remorseful enough to want that
I bet the OP only let it go this far because the man refused to show the level of remorse and repentance she wanted. He might as well be saying 'forgive me or go to hell '

IF he has shown extreme and sincere remorse, kept apologizing untill her anger blew over, refrained from his cheating ways and focused on his marriage, I doubt the situation would have deteriorated to this level.

UjuJoan2:


I just gave an honest opinion and trust me my husband knows this. The day he cheats all bets are off. . .

I would have agreed that getting a counselor is a good idea, but is the man remorseful enough to want that
I bet the OP only let it go this far because the man refused to show the level of remorse and repentance she wanted. He might as well be saying 'forgive me or go to hell '

IF he has shown extreme and sincere remorse, kept apologizing untill her anger blew over, refrained from his cheating ways and focused on his marriage, I doubt the situation would have deteriorated to this level.

Anuty uju marriage is not tea party pray To God for his Mercy not by your power

Let me take one bottle of life beer because of this thread to cool my temper down

How is she sure the infection is not from her cos the infection can last more longer in women than men

Continue to maintain the cordial relationship you people had. A partner that cheats without protection is an agent of killer diseases and he will not stop until he catches one and pass unto you or get old and die. I don't blame you for what you did. The only thing extra you would have done is not just blank off like that but drill him when the case is still hot. If he had seen a doctor and undergo screening for all STDs known to man,needle prick here and there,I bet you his life won't have remained the same. Raise a conversation on this issue. Let him know that you are aware he's enjoying bonking outside. Be pleasant about it,don't appear bitter. However,that there should be a way forward since you are not ready to join him in his escapades and both of you are not in for divorce. Ask him if he's still interested in you or not . That you want safe sex. If he's comfortable with the wayward lifestyle then you people should agree to use protection. That's na open marriage things. But if he's ready for true repentance ,he must go through the drill. That said I have not seen a normal man in his prime who would go a year without sex with his wife and just remain docile. No matter the number of ashewo he's doing per day. Are you sure this man is not into men?

desreek9:
Please take time to read this, I really need your advice.

I am a working mother of four kids (2 sets of twins) been married since 2012; I and my husband communicate well, our sex life is great (we explore diff. styles) and I make sure everyone is contented and satisfied or so i thought.
How i found out he was cheating

I noticed I didn't see my period for two months which is weird, I checked if i was with child but it was negative, before then I noticed burning feeling when i pee and pains so i decided to see a doctor, that was how i received the greatest shock of my life. I was told i had STD, I was in shock, crying and shaking cos i know i got it from my husband, was told to do an HIV test.

After the longest wait of my life and vomiting due to anxiety and panic, it was negative. Three months later was still negative, I went home thinking of ways to kill my husband. Later that night i first asked him if he was cheating he blatantly denied but when i showed him the test result, he was dumbfounded and started begging, i asked him why with tears rolling down my eyes, he couldn't give any reason because he knows everything was great btw us, i told him we would never make love anymore that i can't risk my life because of sex, he was begging me saying he would change, i told him i can never trust him cos once a cheat, always a cheat.

My people, it's over a year and we've not had sex, he can't chase me away from the house because we both built it and the land is in my name, sometimes he comes home late but i really don't care since we have separate bedroom. He said he can't leave because he will have to tell his and my people but he doesn't want the embarrassment.

Apart from all these, every other aspect is great at home, so my question is this; is my decision too harsh or am i justified?

all ds fairytales on NL sef

Benita27:
Ma'am, you did the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, I know the band that'd quickly type "Cheating is in our biology" when a man cheats but would advise a man whose wife cheated on to throw her out, would come here to fault you. Not realising we all have our deal breaker. Just what if you were given HIV?. Whether you sex-starve him or not, he'd still cheat...just as he won't say he has not had sex in the past one year. So he knows he can't let his family find out his escapades as a married man and he was busy cheating?.

My question is; how long would you both live the way you're presently?. Don't remain in any marriage you don't want to just because of what the society or family would say...don't let them hold you ransom...divorce if you want and remain if you could overlook his cheating. This situation isn't helping the both of you.

Kai! I fear you madam. So in essence you advise for a divorce.

Benita27:
Ma'am, you did the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, I know the band that'd quickly type "Cheating is in our biology" when a man cheats but would advise a man whose wife cheated on to throw her out, would come here to fault you. Not realising we all have our deal breaker. Just what if you were given HIV?. Whether you sex-starve him or not, he'd still cheat...just as he won't say he has not had sex in the past one year. So he knows he can't let his family find out his escapades as a married man and he was busy cheating?.

My question is; how long would you both live the way you're presently?. Don't remain in any marriage you don't want to just because of what the society or family would say...don't let them hold you ransom...divorce if you want and remain if you could overlook his cheating. This situation isn't helping the both of you.

You are a jezebel.@Desreek9, take her wicked advice at your own peril.
As far as am concerned, your marriage is failing cos you failed to forgive your husband.
Marriage is cocktail of many unpleasant events, how you manage it defines how long you last.
If i was your husband, i will personally frustrate you as well since you have decided to play tough and all egoistic.

Nonsense.

desreek9:
Please take time to read this, I really need your advice.

I am a working mother of four kids (2 sets of twins) been married since 2012; I and my husband communicate well, our sex life is great (we explore diff. styles) and I make sure everyone is contented and satisfied or so i thought.
How i found out he was cheating

I noticed I didn't see my period for two months which is weird, I checked if i was with child but it was negative, before then I noticed burning feeling when i pee and pains so i decided to see a doctor, that was how i received the greatest shock of my life. I was told i had STD, I was in shock, crying and shaking cos i know i got it from my husband, was told to do an HIV test.

After the longest wait of my life and vomiting due to anxiety and panic, it was negative. Three months later was still negative, I went home thinking of ways to kill my husband. Later that night i first asked him if he was cheating he blatantly denied but when i showed him the test result, he was dumbfounded and started begging, i asked him why with tears rolling down my eyes, he couldn't give any reason because he knows everything was great btw us, i told him we would never make love anymore that i can't risk my life because of sex, he was begging me saying he would change, i told him i can never trust him cos once a cheat, always a cheat.

My people, it's over a year and we've not had sex, he can't chase me away from the house because we both built it and the land is in my name, sometimes he comes home late but i really don't care since we have separate bedroom. He said he can't leave because he will have to tell his and my people but he doesn't want the embarrassment.

Apart from all these, every other aspect is great at home, so my question is this; is my decision too harsh or am i justified?

If you haven't caught him cheating again, then forgive him if you want the marriage to continue. Otherwise divorce him and move on. You too are vulnerable to adultery if you continue your sex strike for too long. Body no be firewood even for you.

well.. the truth is dat the case is a serious one because he is not repentant. Am a man but I understand how you feel. I think you have given enough break. its high time something is done. I suggest you report to a man of God so dear to both of you.

Do find a way to forgive him. You guys should see a counsellor. You go to church together?

desreek9:
Please take time to read this, I really need your advice.

I am a working mother of four kids (2 sets of twins) been married since 2012; I and my husband communicate well, our sex life is great (we explore diff. styles) and I make sure everyone is contented and satisfied or so i thought.
How i found out he was cheating

I noticed I didn't see my period for two months which is weird, I checked if i was with child but it was negative, before then I noticed burning feeling when i pee and pains so i decided to see a doctor, that was how i received the greatest shock of my life. I was told i had STD, I was in shock, crying and shaking cos i know i got it from my husband, was told to do an HIV test.

After the longest wait of my life and vomiting due to anxiety and panic, it was negative. Three months later was still negative, I went home thinking of ways to kill my husband. Later that night i first asked him if he was cheating he blatantly denied but when i showed him the test result, he was dumbfounded and started begging, i asked him why with tears rolling down my eyes, he couldn't give any reason because he knows everything was great btw us, i told him we would never make love anymore that i can't risk my life because of sex, he was begging me saying he would change, i told him i can never trust him cos once a cheat, always a cheat.

My people, it's over a year and we've not had sex, he can't chase me away from the house because we both built it and the land is in my name, sometimes he comes home late but i really don't care since we have separate bedroom. He said he can't leave because he will have to tell his and my people but he doesn't want the embarrassment.

Apart from all these, every other aspect is great at home, so my question is this; is my decision too harsh or am i justified?

Geniro:


You are a jezebel.@Desreek9, take her wicked advice at your own peril.
As far as am concerned, your marriage is failing cos you failed to forgive your husband.
Marriage is cocktail of many unpleasant events, how you manage it defines how long you last.
If i was your husband, i will personally frustrate you as well since you have decided to play tough and all egoistic.

Nonsense.

Hope you are also prepared to forgive your wife if she infects you with an STD, hope you won't throw her out o,
you must forgive her otherwise she sef will personally frustrate you.
I don't know why men think they can do all sorts of sexual fuckshit_ and get instant forgiveness from their wives, I don't get that type of selfishness after all adultery is prohibited for both w omen and men inside Bible.

Rokia2:
The fact that you opened this thread is enough to prove you are now sick of all this. You miss your husband and want the sex badly but pride and ego wouldn't let you put your guard down. But you just want strangers on the internet to tell you what you know you need to do. SMH

This is beyond childish. For a whole fu..c.king year you two have been living together fooling yourselves thinking you are fooling the world. Living in complete denial of the whole issue. What's the essence in staying together to be miserable? I guess some people just enjoy been depressed and miserable cause I see absolutely no logic in this whole thing.

You either forgive or divorce simple as that. Why do people live to please other people? Are people gonna die your death for you? Make a freaking decision and stop acting like kids. Instead of been embarrassed of what people will say, you guys should be embarrass of yourselves for letting your marriage deteriorate to this level.


What sort of a woman are you though? He cheated yes wrong but your job was to either forgive or leave. Why stay and make life miserable for him like this? You can sell the God damn house and everyone take their own share. But no the two of you decided to stay together just to live a terribly loveless and dysfunctional marriage. Teaching your children what exactly?

thanks

EVILFOREST:

U ran a test and SOMEONE told you STD, and the next thing you thought was how to get your husband Killed.

..and you think every burning Sensation you feel when you wee is associated with STD...
When I hear of what LADIES nurse in their mind, I weep.

What's wrong with you ladies especially when it comes to DOCILITY, GULLIBILITY and Jumping into conclusion...?
Please, there are several Micro organisms that can cause such symptoms when they inhabit the vaginal mileu.....although they are never categorized under STD.
Have you verified your HYGIENE....??
How has it been over time...??
Do you wear Nylon pants or undies....??
I have come across so many Ladies who don't really know how to wipe after urinating...??

Uncle she said she went to the hospital na. And the husband confessed too. Did you read this at all?

dust144:
Swthrt, take him to the hospital and let him get help because if he die of that illness and his people get to know ha your case will be treated in Shiloh. Get him to get him pls.

If his people get to know that he sleeps around, got std and died, what will happen?

Adaumunocha:
Married men who sleep with chics outside without protection are just plain dumbos with fish brain....

Quote me if you are one.

Walahi!
Dis your picture and the story actually made my coffee come out of my nose!
I don laugh tire here o

NLmember:



Hope you are also prepared to forgive your wife if she infects you with an STD, hope you won't throw her out o,
you must forgive her otherwise she sef will personally frustrate you.
I don't know why men think they can do all sorts of sexual fuckshit_ and get instant forgiveness from their wives, I don't get that type of selfishness after all adultery is prohibited for both w omen and men inside Bible.

Most you people commenting are not married hence the unrealistic replies or advice. 1 year is too long to Harbour malicious intent. She was even foolish enough to say she is having a cordial relationship with the man, a cordial relationship without sex.

That man is balling hard outside with his numerous chick's while she cooks and caters for him and the home . Whose loss is it? Hers or the man?

She will come begging and the man will deal with her.

She could have sought a way forward after the man owned up. Get him tested, have a chat with him, visit a marriage counselor, and in the worst case scenario insist he wears a condom if he wants to make love to you.

Geniro:


Most you people commenting are not married hence the unrealistic replies or advice. 1 year is too long to Harbour malicious intent. She was even foolish enough to say she is having a cordial relationship with the man, a cordial relationship without sex.

That man is balling hard outside with his numerous chick's while she cooks and caters for him and the home . Whose loss is it? Her or the man?

She will come begging and the man will deal with her.

She could have sought a way forward after the man owned up. Get him tested, have a chat with him, visit a marriage counselor, and in the worst case scenario insist he wears a condom if he wants to make love to you.

You really wish she will come begging don't you? lmao. She won't.

She already stated that the man is the one withholding divorce because he is ashamed to tell his family what he did, left to her she would have ended the marriage long ago so why on earth do you think she will beg?
because your male ego wants women to always be on the losing end in infidelity cases abi?

The useless man can continue balling with his ashawos outside and do whatever he likes as long as he isn't infecting his wife with STDs. He is free to ball from now till eternity.

That man is just so irresponsible. How can he put the wife at risk because of his adulterous lifestyle? Not fair at all.

NLmember:


You really wish she will come begging don't you? lmao. She won't.

She already stated that the man is the one withholding divorce because he is ashamed to tell his family what he did, left to her she would have ended the marriage long ago so why on earth do you think she will beg?
because your male ego wants women to always be on the losing end in infidelity cases abi?

The useless man can continue balling with his ashawos outside and do whatever he likes as long as he isn't infecting his wife with STDs. He is free to ball from now till eternity.

The woman is the fool in this case. When time reach, the man go surprise her.that house collateral she is holding unto may not be enough if she is still interested in that marriage.

When he starts bringing the match closer home, she will have no option than to give way. You don't give a wayward man the licence to do as he pleases. You will just wreck every.

shilz:
but her husband already accepted he did it or you didn't read that part?

Her HUSBAND may have accepted under duress from his wife, just to allow peace reign.
How are you sure the MAN gave it to her....?
It could also be possible the lady got it from another infected partner..?
She may also be sleeping around..
I have encountered cases, where LADIES claim it was their husbands that gave them HIV....but on convincing such men to donate blood to their babies, we ran tests and discovered that they were completely SERO-NEGATIVE. Many came crying that we shouldn't disclose such to their husbands.
However we counseled them to let them know.

LADIES can lie....
The worst is that they shed tears when Lying.
I have encountered several of them.

U may be shocked she just has an ordinary vaginal thrush, which she may have contracted from poor personal hygiene.
And since her HUSBAND cheats, he doesn't have any excuse than to accept.
Don't be surprised the other Lady may be neater than the man's wife.
I'm sorry,
I'm a scientist...
I don't just conclude...

ireneidiva:

Uncle she said she went to the hospital na. And the husband confessed too. Did you read this at all?

Her HUSBAND may have accepted under duress from his wife, just to allow peace reign.
How are you sure the MAN gave it to her....?
It could also be possible the lady got it from another infected partner..?
She may also be sleeping around..
I have encountered cases, where LADIES claim it was their husbands that gave them HIV....but on convincing such men to donate blood to their babies, we ran tests and discovered that they were completely SERO-NEGATIVE.

LADIES can lie....
The worst is that they shed tears when Lying.
I have encountered several of them.

U may be shocked she just has an ordinary vaginal thrush, which she may have contracted from poor personal hygiene.
And since her HUSBAND cheats, he doesn't have any excuse than to accept.
Don't be surprised the other Ladies may be neater than the man's wife.
I'm sorry, I'm a scientist...
I don't just conclude

dear sister, let mr advice you now as a lawyer. one of the ground for seeking a divorce is adultery. and the evidence of adultery is overwhelming in you and your hubby situation. because he contracted a general disease and transmitted same yo you his innocent wifey. now let me quickly say that you can find a way to reconcile with your hubby for the sake of your children. you may find yourself caught up in the decision of custody if these children if the court eventually dissolved your marriage. pls for your kids sake, try and reconcile with him for to err is human but to forgive is human. if your marriage has not broken down irretrievably, you guys may try and rekindle the flames of your love by doing the right thing that you both love in sex. I'd your hubby likes a shaved pussy you must ensure to make your pussy as bald as a baby pussy. since he likes it that way. he should also try and find out what makes you cum while he is making live to you too. that way you can both avoid conflicts. pls be free to ask me any question as per your home and how to make it a sustainable and long lasting marriage. no one. not even the courts are interested in whatever you two are doing. the welfare of your children is Paramount and I am sure you will not spoil it all with divorce when you two can resolve like adults .

someone has been masturbating while living with husband

Sister I feel your pain, only a person who has been in your shoes before will understand. An aunt of mine is facing same situation, yet the family is insisting she forgive her husband and make her marriage work. Please pray so God can change him and protect you from contacting any sickness again. He needs your help, don't throw him to the wrong hands, cos the world out side there is evil. Remember your vows, for better and for worse. Forgive him and build back your home please.

For you to post this on NL shows you are already missing a dick and needs one urgently. Forgive him and swallow your pride, a whole year without sex and you're not sick is abnormal; you might end up cheating also.

Benita27:
Ma'am, you did the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, I know the band that'd quickly type "Cheating is in our biology" when a man cheats but would advise a man whose wife cheated on to throw her out, would come here to fault you. Not realising we all have our deal breaker. Just what if you were given HIV?. Whether you sex-starve him or not, he'd still cheat...just as he won't say he has not had sex in the past one year. So he knows he can't let his family find out his escapades as a married man and he was busy cheating?.

My question is; how long would you both live the way you're presently?. Don't remain in any marriage you don't want to just because of what the society or family would say...don't let them hold you ransom...divorce if you want and remain if you could overlook his cheating. This situation isn't helping the both of you.

So this is the advice u can truly give to ur fellow woman, even after one year to keep denying the husband of sex because he cheated in the name of punishment? If u were the one, would u do the exact thing. I am not saying cheating is ok or what the husband did is ok, but we all make mistakes including the wife and she can't beat her chest and say all through their marriage she's been 100%! and do u really think the husband has truthfully been celibate these past months? U think it's healthy for their marriage? Besides she didn't tell us the kinda infection she was diagnosed with....like candidiasis is not only transmitted through sex...and I have my facts!

Benita27:
Ma'am, you did the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, I know the band that'd quickly type "Cheating is in our biology" when a man cheats but would advise a man whose wife cheated on to throw her out, would come here to fault you. Not realising we all have our deal breaker. Just what if you were given HIV?. Whether you sex-starve him or not, he'd still cheat...just as he won't say he has not had sex in the past one year. So he knows he can't let his family find out his escapades as a married man and he was busy cheating?.

My question is; how long would you both live the way you're presently?. Don't remain in any marriage you don't want to just because of what the society or family would say...don't let them hold you ransom...divorce if you want and remain if you could overlook his cheating. This situation isn't helping the both of you.

Obviously you are not married and not hoping to.

The hypocrisy is strong here, if it were the other way round I'd be hearing divorce.

Benita27:
Ma'am, you did the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, I know the band that'd quickly type "Cheating is in our biology" when a man cheats but would advise a man whose wife cheated on to throw her out, would come here to fault you. Not realising we all have our deal breaker. Just what if you were given HIV?. Whether you sex-starve him or not, he'd still cheat...just as he won't say he has not had sex in the past one year. So he knows he can't let his family find out his escapades as a married man and he was busy cheating?.

My question is; how long would you both live the way you're presently?. Don't remain in any marriage you don't want to just because of what the society or family would say...don't let them hold you ransom...divorce if you want and remain if you could overlook his cheating. This situation isn't helping the both of you.

What is right in what she did?

So you are coming for advice one year after? Is it because all you have tried to satisfy yourself is no longer effective?...that you must have a live man?...but can't go outside the marriage because you will be doing exactly what you are 'punishing' him for? Or is it he is coming home too happy when he should not be? You can pretend you didn't read this part.
You have chased away your husband. If you were soooo great in bed as you say. ..... but yet he stepped out..... what do you expect him to do since you were not in the bed? You armed him with a reason to womanize...... and with soooo many women out there who can really dish it out..... what can you now do for him? ...guess in his eyes you are just a lovely piece of furniture. You need to start begging....he may come around..... but no time soon.