One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God,  "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a 'man,' Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly aroused, but since you've being complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your,  ah, physical needs. He'll be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advise to think properly." "Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?" "Yeah, well,  you can have him on one condition." "What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring, So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first, So, just remember,  it's our secret,  Woman-to-woman!" [/b]

secret heh,,,,rolmao,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,damn hilarious

Hahaha!
Might just be true!Lol!

thank God for you,for the inspiration to write your own bible hahahahaha

thanks for the comments y'all i'm glad you liked it.

foumaleka:

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a 'man,' Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly aroused, but since you've being complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your, ah, physical needs. He'll be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advise to think properly." "Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?" "Yeah, well, you can have him on one condition." "What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring, So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first, So, just remember, it's our secret, Woman-to-woman!" [/b]

Epilogue.

Man: "Ehm. . . Lord, I'm kinda wondering about that conversation you had with Eve."

You know her. . . As a woman, she'll believe anything. Don't worry Adam: I just told her she's first so that she'll argue less with you.

Man: "Thanks. I also wonder if she paid any attention - because she's always using her mouth like a razor."

That's something I gave her for protection. . . just incase she can't stand up to your pride.

hahahhahahah
very funny.!!!!

@ syrup
that's a nice one, coudn't stop laughing. Infact i'm still laughing

Epilogue 2

God To Angels: They want to think they are different, but male and female I created them. Just like the animals.

@ syrup
thanks a lot for that reply for only heavens know how many woman would have been led astray with that serious joke by seun.
once again thanks a lot.

ken.

really hilarious but guys do we look funny aroused ?

foumaleka u wish!
u story; nicly fabricated but pls dnt allow it get to ur head.
u should be writing scripts for this our home video u wil make it.

dont 4get men r smarter than women

GENDER %of SMARTNESS by 100
Women 45%
Men 55%
Total 100%

Epilogue 3

Fallen angels to the Devil: errr sir, who are you planning to decieve first?

Devil: the woman of course!

Fallen angels: why sir?

Devil: She believes her own hype that she is smarter than Adam

Fallen angels: I thought she said God made her smarter.

Devil: Sure, it was all part of the trick.

nice one davidylan.
u are really right.
i wonder y women always think they are smarter than men
or what do u guys think

it'd crazy in here.

thank God some men are doing us proud

@Davidylan
that was some witty reply

davidylan:

Epilogue 3

Fallen angels to the Devil: errr sir, who are you planning to decieve first?

Devil: the woman of course!

Fallen angels: why sir?

Devil: She believes her own hype that she is smarter than Adam

Fallen angels: I thought she said God made her smarter.

Devil: Sure, it was all part of the trick.

Sorry I dont buy the story that much

Its amazing how the females are always trying to Dominate the males
there are all sorts of things in our modern world that show a growing desperation in the female's ambition to be the dominant sex
but the truth of the matter is that there is no weaker sex (though the man should dominate)
GOD made us both to complement one another
If Adam was the perfect human being,why did GOD make Eve?
why did HE not make another man to play and work in the garden with Adam,afterall,they'd both be strong and the work would be done much faster?&soccer would be more fun (as foumaleka suggested we'r always doing;forgetting female soccer )
why did he have to create a different being?
one that was different in somato-type,anatomy,metabolism and in many wonderful ways?
and we all know how WONDERFUL GOD is.
he could have made man reproduce asexually like many organisms we know
but he chose to create Eve
an allotrope of Adam
taken from his own body,beside his heart
to love him and not compete with him (like girls of today)
to complete him
to help him
to keep his company
to keep him warm at night (OH YES,if your married)
to feed him and mother him for Adam had no "mummy"(and every married man has no mummy too except his wife)
So, i ask,
how can a being who does all this be the "weaker" or "dumber" sex

and for the ladies,if the woman was the perfect being,why did GOD say let us make "man" in our own image and then go ahead to create Adam with all those features and characteristics?
Adam was made in GOD's image while Eve was made from a blueprint of Adam.
does this now mean the woman is weaker?
nah,it just shows that moin-moin,beans and akara are the same !!!!!!!!!

By the way,don't u guys think that GOD that made fox/vixen, lion/lioness   tiger/tigress  Rooster/hen  dog/bitch(that word always souns funny)     Jack/jenny   Boar/sow  Stag/Doe  Tom/Queen   Bull/Cow  Buck/Doe   Tercel/Falcon   Stallion/Mare   Ram/Ewe; each pair at the same time   had plans for a mate for Adam someday??

Eve was always in the masterplan !!!!!!
GOD just did it at his own time
like HE does all things

SO STOP THIS SQUABBLE ABOUT WHO'S SMARTER

ive met some very dum boys and some girls iv met?!?!?!?! GOSH !!!!!!!

it all depends on the orientation of the individual

BUT girls,you need to understand that though there are some women that are stronger than a lotta men,THE AVERAGE MAN IS STRONGER THAN THE AVERAGE WOMAN and that is the way GOD made it.your strenght and attractiveness as a woman lies in the acceptance of and submission to this simple but nowadays,hugely contested fact !!!!!!!!!

Isn't this for the jokes section?

thanks for the songs christino

Christino:

Isn't this for the jokes section?

That would be a great idea! However, I think we could do with some laughter here - as long as we don't take it overboard.

@ David,

You are welcome, but i must confess most of the tracks were from the naija request thread in the music section. If you need any track, just go to the music subforum and check that thread, there you can request for it.

Epilogue 4

Cont'd of fallen angels to the devil

Fallen Angels: How do we decieve her sir

Devil: You know the woman can't keep her eyes off those apples

Fallen Angels: Yes sir we notice that also

Devil: that's the plan we gonna use the apples to decive her

Fallen Angels: You're so clever sir. i know it will work

hi all
i know this story is a very important one n our lifes, you may take it as seriously as you wish
but understnd that i didnt intend to hurt anyones feelings,

oh that is good lmao

It's ok
you didn't hurt any feelings infact it's a nice one

You guys are comedians.

As i was recovring from one, i was falling into another session of laughter.

Interesting. . . . .

really hilarious

cant still stop laughing

translating adam n what he really means:
"Let's take your car."
Really means,
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."

"Woman driver."
Really means,
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"It's a guy thing."
Really means,
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means,
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means,
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

"We're going to be late."
Really means,
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means,
"Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means,
"I forgot our anniversary again."

"That's women's work."
Really means,
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"Football is a man's game."
Really means,
"Women are generally too smart to play it."

"I do help around the house."
Really means,
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means,
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Really means,
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
Really means,
"What did you catch me at?"

"We share the housework."
Really means,
"I make the messes, she cleans them up."

and there r loads more

i'm beginning to think foumaleka is really right!!!! lol

this is funny !
I give it to u guyz
cheers

Msg:
Eve;"Adam do u luv me?"
Adam;"No i don't"
Eve;(crying)"Then why did u make luv 2 me?"
Adam;"Helooooooooo do u see anyone else around?"
just joined d site.kool site.1 luv

Eve deceived Adam since creation n too bad shes been playing the same old trick. Will man ever learn?