Consider two scenarios

First
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Wife: Good morning dear. Please I would need some cash to visit the Victoria Secrets store to buy some lingerie
Husband: Okay. Here's is twenty thousand naira.

Second
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Wife: Baa Tawa oko mi owan. Baba tawa ti n mu ki okan mi tutu bi imu aja. Baba Tawa olowo ori mi. Ajayi mi ogidi olu omo oni konga ajipon.
There is something I want to ask you o. (adjusts her wrapper a little). It has been up to three days that I have been passing by this store around Mokola. Nje e mo odo iya Tunji (pointing west). Eyi ti n mon ta abula nigba ti a si wa ni Molete nigba ti larinlodu n fun wa ni isoro die.

Husband: (pauses to think while absent-mindedly picking at his beard and thinking of the best way to speed up the discussion since he wants to livestream Premier League football match on his phone)
Beeni. I remember her.

Wife: Eeeh ehh. Legbe shopu iya Tunji kana, oni ibi ti awon omo iranu kan ti ma lo n ta tete ati awon mi Lara won ma fa Igbo pelu. Se e Ranti ibe?

Husband; (impatiently tapping his feet on the silk rug and stealing a quick peek at the clock)
Mo ran ti daada. Kilode?

Wife: (Shaking her head vigorously and getting sour) Eleyi ti e n se bayi, se inu ti n bi yi ni abi oro ti mo mu wa ko kan yin

Husband: (sensing a trap) Rara o aya mi. O kan je wipe inu n ro mi die ni. Ko ti pe ti o ti bere.

Wife: (looks concerned) Inu riro ke?
Baa Tawa, lati igba wo si igba wo le ti jeun ti inu ti n ro yin o. Abi e fe so wipe Amala ti mo ro pelu ewedu ti mo se ni dayin lamu. Tabi e n wa ona lati jade kuro lati lo wo boolu.

Husband: (sighs while recognizing the flow in which the talk was taken) Iya Tawa. Ko kin se nitori ounje re o. Dakun ma ba itan re lo.

Wife: (shrugs) Kosi wahala. Bi mo se n so lo. Leyin ibi ti awon omo iranu yen ti ma n fagbo yen, oni shop kan ti won tin ta nkan obinrin bi aso o, ati gbogbo. Oti e mu mi ranti. Ranti, omo iya Eleko mo se igbeyawo ni osu to koja fa. Bi e ba ri awon eyan kabiti kabiti ti o wa e, eru anabi yo ba yin. Mo ti e ri ore yin ti ijosi: ore yin ti o ma n ri bakan bakan lati igba ti awon adigun jale yin ni ibon lese. Kii tie loruko re oooo (Snapping her fingers)

Husband: (a little excited) Se Korede?

Wife: Iro o. Korede ni eni ti awon olopa ko mo roger ni Odun mefa seyin. Ore yin eleyi je okola bi iru titi Sanyeri.

Husband: Se Sefiu?

Wife: hanhaannn. Sefiu gangan loruko re nje. Ohun na ti re Mecca gan o nitoripe nigba ti won re rin si mi, eyin mecca ni won ti ni. Awon na ti lo so oko ba Shatani.
Eh eh. Bi mo se wi lo. Ni shop yi, won ta aso obirin ti won mu wa lati Dubai. E mo wipe oti to bi Odun meji bayi ti e ti ni pe e fun mi ni owo lati lora oja wa?

Husband: (resigning to fate that he would not watch the match) Mo mo o. Sugbon ko ti si owo bayi eh. O sa mo bi gbogbo nkan se tipa ni asiko Buhari yi?

Wife: Nkan ti e ma so na nu o. O da na. Mo fe ki e fun mi lowo lati ra aso obirin ni shopu na o.

Husband: (hands over twenty thousand naira) Oya gba

Wife: (bursts into smiles) Oko mi owan. Oko ni oko ti mo ni. Beeni. Ese olowo ori mi.

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Lessons learned
1) Variety is the spice of life and the tool that brings a writers work to life
2) Women are unique creatures who can turn everything around and still retain their charm.
3) For every thousand words a man says, a woman says two hundred thousand.
#Bashorun

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