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Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman - Family - Nairaland

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Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by Manty(m): 6:07pm On Mar 25, 2010
For the past 6 months now i have been having problems with my wife over child birth, we have 2 lovely kids a boy and a girl but i still want 2 more to make it 4 but my wife refused that she doesnt want to give birth to more than 2 children and it has really affected our love life whenever i want to make love to her she always insist i must use protective to avoid pregnance. I am tired of the whole situation pls my people what should i do
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by kevoh(m): 6:51pm On Mar 25, 2010
Both the husband and the wife decide together,you should have talked about this with her before getting married so you don't fall into such problems after the wedding.Anyway no need crying over spilt milk,both of you should have a one on one talk.Ask her the reason(s) she wants only 2 kids.Have you considered maybe her last 2 childbirths were a painful experience.
Do you have the finances to manage/train/raise 4 kids? Better yet visit a family planning center.Hope this was useful 2 u?
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by gidson12(m): 8:07am On Mar 26, 2010
kevoh:

Both the husband and the wife decide together,you should have talked about this with her before getting married so you don't fall into such problems after the wedding.Anyway no need crying over spilt milk,both of you should have a one on one talk.Ask her the reason(s) she wants only 2 kids.Have you considered maybe her last 2 childbirths were a painful experience.
Do you have the finances to manage/train/raise 4 kids? Better yet visit a family planning center.Hope this was useful 2 u?
exactly my mind
@poster
i dont think dat their is a problem dat both couples cannot iron out through mild dialogue. And u should listen 2 her too, Dont impose ur decision on her. And 4 ur info. Child birth decision is 4 both of of u, its not a sole right of any
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by agathamari(f): 10:19am On Mar 30, 2010
the day a man gives birth is the day when men can decide how many children to have. you two can sit down and decide how many kids you want but if somewhere along the line you wife says enough im not going through this again eiither find a way to carry your own child (not mistress) and deliver it or support her. you have no idea what pregnacy does to a woman or the pain she goes through, not just the time she is in labor but throughout the pregnancy.
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by Badriyyah(f): 10:28am On Mar 30, 2010
Both husband and wife decide on how many kids they want. Ask her the reason why she doesn't want to have more, and how old are the kids you currently have? If she is not interested in having kids now, calm down and stop forcing the topic on her, you are blessed with two kids focus on them for now. And I agree with Kevoh, if protection is the problem go to family planning, I am sure they will be able to help you with that problem smiley.
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by peacettw: 6:20pm On Mar 30, 2010
I am a strong believer that this decision should lie largely if not solely on the woman. Pregnancy, labor and post pregnancy is no joke n frankly speaking is an infringement on our rights as a person. Okay, i might be taking it too far but pls, if u re a woman n u think u have had enough, then do not hesitate to get an IUCD, or get ur tubes tied etc. The good thing is that it's perfectly within ur rights to get these procedures done without ur husband's consent and any medical personnel that says differently should be sued, literally.
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by Fhemmmy: 6:22pm On Mar 30, 2010
Both ought to decide, however, the woman determine how many they will have, cos it is her body and she can decide to take in or not without the husband consent
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by Sissy3(f): 3:59am On Mar 31, 2010
dont really buy all this the woman should be the one to decide how many kids the couples want. it should be both who decides. yes, its the woman who carries the load still doesnt mean the man should be left out of the decision.

Poster: give her time, but not pressure her
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by OEO: 11:13am On Mar 31, 2010
Devoh! Both the husband and the wife decide together,you should have talked about this with her before getting married so you don't fall into such problems after the wedding.Anyway no need crying over spilt milk,both of you should have a one on one talk.Ask her the reason(s) she wants only 2 kids.Have you considered maybe her last 2 childbirths were a painful experience.
Do you have the finances to manage/train/raise 4 kids? Better yet visit a family planning center.Hope this was useful 2 u?


I remembered when I was to get married. I sat my honey down. We agreed on a whole lot of things, even though not written.

1. How many number of children we would have. (3)
2. Where we would like to reside be4 we build our own home. (Surulere)
3. How much will go for savings every month. (=N5K)
4. Do we need a househelp or not. (No househelp)
5. Who will stay with us when we have our babies. (My mother i.e her mother in law)
6. Where are we going to settle down after retirement etc. Between Ogun st and Oyo St)

things like this and many more shd be discussed and agreed upon be4 marriage, so as not to pave way for argument and disagreement that could jeopadise interests in yr marriage.
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by benedictac(f): 11:33am On Mar 31, 2010
OEO:

Devoh! Both the husband and the wife decide together,you should have talked about this with her before getting married so you don't fall into such problems after the wedding.Anyway no need crying over spilt milk,both of you should have a one on one talk.Ask her the reason(s) she wants only 2 kids.Have you considered maybe her last 2 childbirths were a painful experience.
Do you have the finances to manage/train/raise 4 kids? Better yet visit a family planning center.Hope this was useful 2 u?


I remembered when I was to get married. I sat my honey down. We agreed on a whole lot of things, even though not written.

1. How many number of children we would have. (3)
2. Where we would like to reside be4 we build our own home. (Surulere)
3. How much will go for savings every month. (=N5K)
4. Do we need a househelp or not. (No househelp)
5. Who will stay with us when we have our babies. (My mother i.e her mother in law)
6. Where are we going to settle down after retirement etc. Between Ogun st and Oyo St)

things like this and many more shd be discussed and agreed upon be4 marriage, so as not to pave way for argument and disagreement that could jeopadise interests in yr marriage.

exactly, u took the words off my mouth
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by madlady(f): 2:34pm On Mar 31, 2010
Manty:

For the past 6 months now i have been having problems with my wife over child birth, we have 2 lovely kids a boy and a girl but i still want 2 more to make it 4 but my wife refused that she doesnt want to give birth to more than 2 children and it has really affected our love life whenever i want to make love to her she always insist i must use protective to avoid pregnance. I am tired of the whole situation pls my people what should i do 

I think you will just have to keep talking to your wife. Try not to be too forceful.

Maybe you could compromise and have 3, and if you delay having more children for awhile she may want more anyway.

Hopefully she will relent, just give her time.
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by Kunbee: 10:43pm On Mar 31, 2010
The wife, but give her time she will give in and maybe you should have only 3 not 4 undecided
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by queeneve: 3:38am On Apr 01, 2010
My fiance and I had that talk several months ago regarding to the number of children. My fiance love children and he wants lots of children. He wanted five children and I wanted one child. We discussed and discussed until we came to an agree of three kids. We figured three were a middle between his needs and mine. But, he realizes although he loves children that I have to carry each every one of the babies for nine month while he sits there airing his balls.

Both couple should decide and reach an agreement.
Re: Who Decise The Number Of Children The Man Or The Woman by nikinash(f): 11:43am On Apr 01, 2010
Child rearing is not a walk in the park. Not just pregnancy but the whole shingding. Its absolutely not easy for most women.Some women don't have any problem with it but majority of others do. Having had 2 kids, being pregnant and labour plus looking after them must have taken its toll on her, so rather than put pressure be careful to understand her fears/concerns or whatever she feels about the issue. It doesn't even matter if you decided to have 5 before you got married, talking about it and experiencing it is another matter altogether.

I remember after having my first I categorically told my mum I was never having another, but I went on to have another,so give her plenty of time and don't make her feel like she's just a baby making machine.

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