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Facing A Lifelong Insecurity + Why I Stopped Apologizing by bayoojo68: 2:24pm On Nov 27, 2017
Life story:

Facing an insecurity of mine & why I’m no longer apologizing or feeling guilty for doing it. Period.

Out of all the years on this earth, I would say 2017 is truly the one that forced me to face several of my fears and insecurities in the face and really get to the root of why. For years I have battled with the ability to say what’s on my mind & express how I felt authentically. If I expressed anything, it came with downplaying my true feelings, worrying about how it would make the other person feel, mincing words or completely feeling riddled with guilt. My insecurity with communication has been a battle I finally decided to face & conquer.

Let me clarify: not the ability to speak words – communicating my true feelings when they needed to be expressed. There are times in my life where I have truly expressed my feelings, but only in extreme situations (i.e. a breakup, a misunderstanding, etc.). But just to truly communicate that I don’t like something – NEVER! It stems back to the mere age of 3 years old. For time’s sake, I won’t go into it. Let’s just say I’ve nailed down the actual & factual reasons why I took responsibility in cutting off my ability to communicate my feelings effectively. In a span of 30 years, you can bet that burden is so deeply interwoven in every aspect of my life to the point where I found myself beating myself over situations where I should have communicated better to hopefully get a better outcome.

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